Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 320 Days and 72221 Haikus later...

I want to riot.
But I'm just an old white guy.
With a small penis.
Haiku # 67711, July 16, 2020 9:35 pm ET
by DW
I love corona.
I don't have to pay my bills.
Stay home and watch news.

Jack off to riots.
I've always hated the cops.
Always such assholes.

Yes sir, I have crack.
I stuck it way up my crack.
Reach in and get it.
Haiku # 67710, July 16, 2020 2:49 am ET
by DW of Do I look like a fucking crack head? No, I'm a paint huffer! Big difference!
That was someone else.
Haven't owned undies in years.
...Except Underoos.

I'm Wonder Woman.
But please don't tell anyone.
Justice League orgies.
Haiku # 67709, July 15, 2020 3:46 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous of I would NEVER soil my Underoos!
You soiled your undies....
Stashed in the neighbors mail box...
That's why you got none
Haiku # 67708, July 14, 2020 2:48 pm ET
by Eye in the sky
I don't wear undies.
Underwear is oppression.
Like communism.
Haiku # 67707, July 13, 2020 9:43 pm ET
by dw
If I could be Jim
I would give my people hell:
Jungle Paradise
Haiku # 67706, July 13, 2020 5:41 pm ET
by White Nights of Disinformation
Jim Jones was a star.
I want to be like Jim Jones,
to help The People.
Haiku # 67705, July 12, 2020 1:58 pm ET
by REVOLUTION of Social Justice
I am so, so glad
That I'm not Darth's underwear.
Must get quite messy.
Haiku # 67704, July 12, 2020 8:27 am ET
by Perspectives of DW
TikTok videos
are too short to jack off to.
Chinese short life span.
Haiku # 67703, July 12, 2020 5:33 am ET
by "Repent TikTok Man!" said the Harlequin. of DW
what is happening
i don't get y'all's politics
shut up and eat snot
Haiku # 67702, July 12, 2020 2:22 am ET
by tall child of Michigan
There's nothing quite like
retarded children screaming
when you're doing math.
Haiku # 67701, July 11, 2020 1:38 am ET
by DW of Ah well, God is laughing at me.
You didn't expect
the Spanish Inquisition
because no one does.
Haiku # 67700, July 11, 2020 1:36 am ET
by DW of until it's too late.
The life of Brian.
When he opens the window.
Full Monty Python.
Haiku # 67699, July 10, 2020 9:59 pm ET
by And the crowd goes wild! of DW
That butt-naked guy
Playing organ, backwards glance
on Monty Python
Haiku # 67698, July 10, 2020 6:26 pm ET
by Always cracked me up !
Breath upon the vine
Pining for blushing faces
Sigh among branches
Haiku # 67697, July 10, 2020 5:27 pm ET
by MONARCH
and now for something completely different
Haiku # 67696, July 10, 2020 5:26 pm ET
by that thing that did on monty python of changing scenes
Lesbian Marxists
Trying to suppress families.
Do such lives matter?
Haiku # 67695, July 9, 2020 6:33 pm ET
by Woke-Ass Bitch of Tell U How it Iz
Christ, that's fucking good!
Phil, I laughed my fat ass off...
Wait, no, it's still there.
Haiku # 67694, July 9, 2020 11:11 am ET
by DW of need to lose weight. :-(
Fart while jerking Off?
Then call it gasterbation.
Get out your matches.
Haiku # 67693, July 9, 2020 7:13 am ET
by Phil Lesh
When I beat off quick
I call it fasterbation.
Get out your stopwatch.
Haiku # 67692, July 8, 2020 9:27 am ET
by DW
Forrest Gump's Jenny
has become an escort girl.
No one is surprised.
Haiku # 67691, July 8, 2020 9:26 am ET
by DW
Fuck TikTok, you know.
I'll just say it one more time.
Fuck Ticktock... to death!
Haiku # 67689, July 7, 2020 5:32 pm ET
by DW
My Whorrendous schlong
has destroyed many small dogs.
And some large rodents.
Haiku # 67688, July 7, 2020 5:30 pm ET
by DW
Spew droplets of sick
Flatten curves spiral freefall
Your mask is slipping
Haiku # 67687, July 6, 2020 5:37 pm ET
by Peter 8 of California
Darth brings his stink here.
Shuts the site down for two days.
Whorrendous indeed...
Haiku # 67686, July 5, 2020 7:07 pm ET
by Stagnation of Haiku
nippress ash gay starwars theme wedding wif midgets
Haiku # 67685, July 3, 2020 12:23 pm ET
by iamback of guess
They're not watching porn.
New video equipment.
They're making their own.
Haiku # 67684, July 2, 2020 11:25 am ET
by Shaolin Porn Hub of Best seller "Fists of Fury"
The old rice temple:
no more festivals and songs.
They're all watching porn.
Haiku # 67683, July 2, 2020 10:01 am ET
by Golden Age of Meiji Empire
Pooh Bear and Eyore?
That piglet and honey-pot?
A.A. Milne? HIS pooh?
Haiku # 67682, July 2, 2020 8:49 am ET
by Christopher Robin of Winnie the P
Let's talk about poo.
Just like in the good old days.
Sick of the virus.
Haiku # 67681, July 1, 2020 9:33 pm ET
by DW
Planned obsolescence.
Engineered social chaos.
Enriching themselves.
Haiku # 67680, July 1, 2020 6:32 pm ET
by Kill the Godless of Christian Love
But what do we suck?
I prefer to suck boobies
When available
Haiku # 67679, July 1, 2020 11:17 am ET
by Ron Jeremy
You all truly SUCK.
I just had to declare it.
In stunning haiku.
Haiku # 67678, June 30, 2020 8:19 pm ET
by Bosho Bosh You
tragic adolescents
indifferent narcissists
who know everything
Haiku # 67677, June 30, 2020 7:04 am ET
by ash
We have stopped caring.
Whatever your problem is,
Please do not tell us.
Haiku # 67676, June 28, 2020 11:42 pm ET
by The Borg Collective
It was hard ass work
I put my elbow grease there
Got a hernia
Haiku # 67675, June 28, 2020 4:06 pm ET
by Dick Sakwrinkle of Wino Parade
Worst haiku all time
And it rhymes fuck yeah it rhymes
Worst haiku all time
Haiku # 67674, June 28, 2020 3:59 pm ET
by Dick Sakwrinkle of Wino Parade
White cherry blossoms:
The petals fall like fresh snow.
Now there's a haiku!
Haiku # 67673, June 26, 2020 7:34 am ET
by Boring Images of the Orient (yawn)
wave your haiku peen
till the poetry erupts
was that good for you ?
Haiku # 67672, June 26, 2020 7:23 am ET
by ash
Your haiku is bad.
Your verse does not flow smoothly.
It's not poetic.
Haiku # 67671, June 25, 2020 8:51 am ET
by An Accomplished Haiku Poet of Clown World
Nobody loves me.
So I'll post it on Facebook.
Look at all the hearts.
Haiku # 67670, June 25, 2020 8:36 am ET
by Your ex-girlfriends poodle's previous owner's mother-in-law's garden gnome
Only mine are good.
My haiku is very good.
So clever. So good.
Haiku # 67669, June 24, 2020 3:00 pm ET
by greater than Basho
more accurately
for a very long time now
they are mostly bad
Haiku # 67668, June 24, 2020 8:26 am ET
by ash
once upon a time
there were a lot of haiku
and they were all bad
Haiku # 67667, June 24, 2020 8:24 am ET
by ash
someone summarize
all the bad haiku i've missed
in haiku form, please
Haiku # 67666, June 23, 2020 9:22 pm ET
by scotch of not too much to ask
prarie dog refuge
of connected passageways
apartment complex
Haiku # 67665, June 23, 2020 2:44 am ET
by B. Johnston of Ks
ancient drive in with
damaged parking area
forest habitat
Haiku # 67664, June 23, 2020 2:36 am ET
by B. Johnston of Ks
a bunch of giant
toddlers paid by soros on
a history smash
Haiku # 67663, June 22, 2020 2:29 pm ET
by vhs
colour me outraged
by all things beyond the pale
of purest snowflake
Haiku # 67662, June 22, 2020 9:10 am ET
by ash
Excising blackheads.
I can watch YouTube all day.
People getting killed.
Haiku # 67661, June 20, 2020 3:29 am ET
by Darth Whorendous of Oh, no, but we can't show any titties!
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