Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 254 Days and 71038 Haikus later...

Самый плохой Хайку этот тот который ничего не объясняет своим оппонентам...
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Новости Уфы Стерлитамак происшествия
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Новости России Происшествия в Москве
Микрокредиты онлайн Кредит без справок о доходах
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Пенсионные новости Пенсии России
Haiku # 71038, July 25, 2021 1:11 am ET
by of США
I didn't believe
about the earthworm story
Google says it's true
Haiku # 71037, July 25, 2021 12:30 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
The other partner
I'm assuming it's the worm.
The worm that's smoking.
Haiku # 71036, July 24, 2021 10:10 pm ET
by Noticer of What did I just see, Darth?
Have you ever put
an earth worm in your pee hole?
An old native trick.

Great for both partners.
I know you don't believe it.
Go and look it up!
Haiku # 71035, July 24, 2021 7:23 pm ET
by Chief Running Schlong
Have you ever put
an earth worm in your pee hole?
An old native trick.

Great for both partners.
I know you don't believe it.
Go and look it up!
Haiku # 71034, July 24, 2021 7:23 pm ET
by Chief Running Schlong
The Brown Spud Special.
Viagra, roofies, ex-lax.
You know, Trainspotting.
Haiku # 71033, July 24, 2021 7:05 pm ET
by Shit the bed!
What's it called when you
mix Viagra and roofies?
I thought you would know.
Haiku # 71032, July 24, 2021 1:59 pm ET
by This week's fun quiz brought to you by Depends Undergarments of Protection you can trust! (unlike your parents' condoms.)
Do you like smoothies?
And what do you put in them?
Besides Viagra.
Haiku # 71031, July 24, 2021 1:55 pm ET
by DOMAI member since 1994
Take that to the bank
Exponential account growth
Haiku make you rich
Haiku # 71030, July 24, 2021 1:51 pm ET
by Manure Bank
Oh that handsome Darth...
I saw his picture one time:
Steaming pile of verse.
Haiku # 71029, July 24, 2021 9:01 am ET
by Haiku GOLD of Under the Old Manure Pile
Can I get seconds.
With extra yummy stuffing.
And giblets gravy.
Haiku # 71028, July 24, 2021 6:08 am ET
by You bring out the Hannibal in me!
That's when I farted
Like a human turducken
Layers of flavor
Haiku # 71027, July 24, 2021 4:46 am ET
by Human Turducken
It's so dark in here
Like the belly of a whale
But I have a plan
Haiku # 71026, July 24, 2021 4:41 am ET
by Trapped of Poop Chute
My anus is extended.
It swallows you whole.

Slime envelops you.
Like the drool of Alien.
And it chews you up.

Still you enjoy it.
My God, you're such a pervert.
Even while you die.
Haiku # 71025, July 24, 2021 12:35 am ET
by Proctologist's Dream
Your anus is distended
It's filled with poems
Haiku # 71024, July 23, 2021 11:31 pm ET
by Old Willow Walk-in Clinic of Just off the Old Willow exit
Your anus is distended
It's filled with poems
Haiku # 71023, July 23, 2021 11:31 pm ET
by Old Willow Walk-in Clinic of Just off the Old Willow exit
You absolute filth,
You foul detritus of waste,
Now I must go cry.
Haiku # 71022, July 23, 2021 10:04 pm ET
by Crying Crybaby of HAIKU
Biscuits and gravy.
Either waffles or pancakes.
With maple syrup.
Haiku # 71021, July 23, 2021 5:30 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Respond to my verse.
I need a witty response.
Answer me, dammit!
Haiku # 71020, July 23, 2021 5:23 pm ET
by Angry Haiku Poet of NIPPON
They, too, sometimes need more bits
äfteг enough time.
Haiku # 71019, July 23, 2021 2:13 pm ET
by Adam
The first time hearing
Imagine there's no heaven,
but we are in Hell.

You don't believe me?
Just read some of my poems.
Am I right, or what?
Haiku # 71017, July 23, 2021 9:17 am ET
by We're all demons shitting on other sinners. of Doing Satan's work for him.
Sinovac's not great.
Sixty percent effective.
Those fucking Chinese.
Haiku # 71016, July 22, 2021 8:50 pm ET
by Doesnt work, like their plastic toys. of They made it but cant cure it.
Here's a great idea.
Hey, Janis, let's get married.
Think what we could do.
Haiku # 71014, July 22, 2021 8:46 pm ET
by Poetry is an infectious social disease of Go spread it around!
Do math in the nude
But have sex with your clothes on.
Just to prove something.
Haiku # 71013, July 22, 2021 8:42 pm ET
by Cherry flavored edible underwear. of Licorice lick her ass. Twizzle my stick.
George Floyd was a saint.
St. George had an overdose;
Died on Fentanyl.
Haiku # 71012, July 22, 2021 3:30 pm ET
by Lightning Bolt of Toledo Oh-So-Hio
Listen up, Premchand:
This site is strictly HAIKU.
Sell your meds elsewhere.
Haiku # 71011, July 22, 2021 3:25 pm ET
by Chicken Karahi of Hyderabad
Tia Titania:
Totalmente torcida
Y tonta también
Haiku # 71009, July 22, 2021 3:07 pm ET
by La letra T of Plaza Sesamo
Titania Compañía Editorial se reserva el derecho de aceptar o rechazar cualquier solicitud de acceso a La Comunidad, en base a los siguientes extremos, a saber: Compruebe que sus datos facilitados son contrarios a la verdad y/o inexactos.
Haiku # 71008, July 22, 2021 3:08 am ET
by medicación of Spain
You sure about that?
Bangkok's known for opium.
Way back in the day.
Haiku # 71007, July 21, 2021 8:40 pm ET
by Of course Rush will deny it. of Because opiates are soooo evil!
Passage to Bangkok
Is not about opium
Tis about reefer
Haiku # 71006, July 21, 2021 8:00 pm ET
by Ghost of Neil Peart
Nine plus five is two.
At least from my point of view.
Go look at a clock.
Haiku # 71005, July 21, 2021 6:56 pm ET
by No, not your fucking digital Timex! of Mod 12, I think they say.
We need some bad math.
Or maybe bad math dot com.
How 'bout it, Janis?
Haiku # 71004, July 21, 2021 6:54 pm ET
by But it needs to have an option to upload nudes. of Math without nudes is pointless.
Janis is alive!
She wiped out the Russian spam!
Hooray for Janis!

She needs stuff to do
when she's not chasing dragons
(smoking opium).

What got her hooked was
Passage to Bangkok by Rush.
Don't try to deny.
Haiku # 71003, July 21, 2021 6:34 pm ET
by Poppy Poker.
I was, but must wait.
Too many prying eyeballs.
What an ugly world.
Haiku # 70998, July 20, 2021 11:35 pm ET
by They want to destroy our freedom. of And we will all be their slaves.
I'll remind you, Darth
You were going to tell me
your email address
Haiku # 70997, July 20, 2021 10:42 pm ET
by Math groupie of Hanging around the tour bus
I forgot what I
fucking hell goddamn it all
was going to say.
Haiku # 70996, July 20, 2021 9:53 pm ET
by OldzTimers disease. of Ease, pease, fleas, breeze, please, freeze, he's, bees, knees
Now I am craving
fig leaves with salad dressing.
Extra chunky bleu.
Haiku # 70994, July 20, 2021 1:12 pm ET
by I blew my bleu.
You'll see when we kiss
Our fig leaves will fall away
There's nothing to hide
Haiku # 70993, July 19, 2021 10:27 pm ET
by I mean,there IS something to hide of But, please don't on my account
I'm a pucker,
She's a pucker,
He's a pucker.
Wouldn't you like
to be a pucker too.
Be a pucker,
Drink Dr. Figpucker.
Be a pucker,
Drink Dr. Figpucker.

Or something like that.
A fig-flavored soda pop!
Sir, you're a genius!
Haiku # 70992, July 19, 2021 9:20 pm ET
by Don't think I didn't notice.
There is bad haiku
And then there is Figpucker.
I can smell it now.
Haiku # 70991, July 19, 2021 8:57 pm ET
by Noticer of Darth of Under Old Tombstone
I love these spam links.
They typically go nowhere.
Still hoping for gold.

Nuclear launch codes.
New York Stock Exchange password.
Lady Gaga's nudes.

Okay, I must know.
What's with you and willow trees?
Why not a fig tree?

You can pluck the figs.
And enjoy them all day long.
Be a Figplucker.
Haiku # 70990, July 19, 2021 8:27 pm ET
by Darth Figplucker. of I think they are better fresh, but dried is okay too.
Under Old Willow
I'll direct you to the loo
Fill it with haiku
Haiku # 70988, July 19, 2021 6:20 pm ET
by Floaters of Haiku
My poop does not stink.
Still my butt is squeeky clean.
Not one speck of poop.
Haiku # 70987, July 19, 2021 5:58 pm ET
by Bidet Salesman of Isle 42, Home Depot
No toilet paper
Says he uses a bidet
Sprays the poop away
Haiku # 70986, July 19, 2021 4:00 pm ET
by I. Thinx of Darth Stinx (only kidding)
So, whose turd is this?
I think I know. His toilet's
in the village, though.
Haiku # 70985, July 19, 2021 3:17 pm ET
by Noticer of fecals
Or say, could that be
Robert Frost taking a dump
this snowy evening?
Haiku # 70984, July 19, 2021 3:12 pm ET
by Jack Frost (no relation but we both were blessed with icicle shaped dinks) of Walking through the woods,carefully
Winter Snow Warning
Be Careful Building Snowmen
The Iceman Cometh
Haiku # 70983, July 19, 2021 11:57 am ET
by Hugepeen O'Kneel of Snow Bank (making a deposit)
they are all no good
but there is no worst haiku
only bad haiku
Haiku # 70982, July 19, 2021 10:27 am ET
by ash
After nearly a
quarter of a century
which haiku is worst?
Haiku # 70981, July 19, 2021 9:01 am ET
by Any thoughts?
Of course they have one.
They have whatever you want.
Because you build them.
Haiku # 70980, July 19, 2021 4:43 am ET
by It's good to be God, ain't it? of And He smelled that it was good.
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