BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
68 Days
69682 Haikus
So, how many shows...
A little less than fifty
Eighties and nineties
Haiku #69682, by Never saw them in the pig pen era.
January 19, 2021 11:36 am ET

Just say N2O.
The good old nitrous oxide.
Waaa waaa waaa waaa waaa
Haiku #69681, by Steve Martin of Dentist's Office.
January 19, 2021 8:06 am ET

Laughing gas balloons.
Huffed plenty of them back then.
And sold them also.
Haiku #69680, by Good times!
January 19, 2021 7:59 am ET

Jut a box of pain?
That made my ass laugh out loud
Which is a problem.

My ass should not laugh
Or maybe it's McNuggets
Making laughing gas
Haiku #69679, by Phil Lesh of Huffing butts
January 19, 2021 7:14 am ET

How many Dead shows
did you attend back in the
proverbial day?
Haiku #69678, by Puddled and Cuddled.
January 18, 2021 10:30 pm ET

You needed Phil Lesh
to warn you about McDo?
Just a Box of Pain.
Haiku #69677, by Unhappy meals. of Adult toy surprise in the box.
January 18, 2021 9:47 pm ET

Don't eat McDonald's
You will make stinky pudding
Fucking McNuggets
Haiku #69676, by Phil Lesh
January 18, 2021 9:15 pm ET

Covid's decreasing.
That's 'cause Biden's president.
It's afraid of him.
Haiku #69675, by Tee hee hee snicker snort fart. of Trust the Media!
January 18, 2021 9:03 pm ET

The year's best moments.
How about that Beruit blast?
That was lots of fun.

Location's not great.
Could have been somewhere better.
Like maybe Tulsa.
Haiku #69674, by Or Disneyland. of Or Dull-ass Texass. And it needs to be under a raw sewage tank to spread shit through the air so you can breathe it.
January 18, 2021 8:38 am ET

Blue dingleberries.
A modern art masterpiece
On a baboon's ass.
Haiku #69673, by No denying it, of course.
January 18, 2021 8:30 am ET

This is dumb.
I'm going to go watch South Park.
Donuts and beer.
Haiku #69672, by Homer Simpson
January 18, 2021 5:54 am ET

Macadamia nuts.
College is a bit crazy.
Acadamia nuts.
Haiku #69671, by Deez nutz. of On your chin.
January 17, 2021 11:09 pm ET

I am certain that
boobies are just booby traps.
Give me an Amen!
Haiku #69670, by Reaching Preacher
January 17, 2021 6:57 pm ET

It's so Biblical.
The Palestine Intestine.
Let's set off some bombs!
Haiku #69669, by Booby trap fecal bombs w/ shrapnel. of soooo deadly!
January 17, 2021 6:56 pm ET

Have you ever played
Tiddlywinks in grade school?
Sadly, I didn't.

I don't even know
what the hell that game's about.
So why is it sad?!
Haiku #69668, by I should go ask Lemmiwinks. of Knock knock knock... excuse me, is this the lower intestine?
January 17, 2021 6:53 pm ET

Murder is okay.
Especially if you're a
record producer.

Spector was a member of Spectre.
James Bond framed him for murder.
That's the real news.
Haiku #69667, by You heard it here first! of Real News! Fantastic reporting. The best reporting.
January 17, 2021 6:47 pm ET

Good High-Poo-Poos

I made a big fart.
I made a really big fart.
And another fart.
Haiku #69666, by And no one cares.
January 17, 2021 5:40 pm ET

My father punched him
Riding an elevator
I liked Phil Spector
Haiku #69665, by Gatita Estrella
January 17, 2021 12:50 pm ET

Bad Haiku News

Phil Spector has died
Betty White turns 99
Packers beat the Rams
Haiku #69664, by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
January 17, 2021 12:28 pm ET

Bad Haiku News

Hot Pockets recalled
Police kill autistic boy
NRA Bankrupt
Haiku #69663, by Crimson Mind of Phoenix, AZ
January 17, 2021 12:27 pm ET

So he likes to nap.
I'm sure I'd fall asleep too.
Fucking politics.
Haiku #69662, by We need to discuss my balls. of Enough of this monkey chatter.
January 17, 2021 11:59 am ET

Most popular prez
Since Reagan or Obama:
Sleepy Joe. Yeah, right...
Haiku #69661, by Barbed Wire of The Capitol
January 17, 2021 5:23 am ET

McDo is the juicy cheap whore of fast food. If you don't eat the buns, you're missing what you paid for.
Haiku #69660, by dw
January 17, 2021 4:20 am ET

Haiku #69659, by Gump of Dump
January 17, 2021 4:15 am ET

Haiku #69658, by You gonna make sUMPin' of it?!
January 17, 2021 4:13 am ET

He likes McDonald's
But he doesn't eat the buns
He likes "fish delight"
Haiku #69657, by Does this count?
January 17, 2021 4:12 am ET

Okay, I got one!
All the words that rhyme with Trump.
Hump, rump, dump, lump, clump...
Haiku #69656, by etc. of When Trump took a dump, I humped his rump, "thump, thump thump" and shot a lump on the stump.
January 17, 2021 4:08 am ET

I am curious.
Name one good thing about Trump.
Is it possible?
Haiku #69655, by My parents think so. of I have my doubts.
January 17, 2021 2:42 am ET

I don't send my nudes.
I'll dance for you in person.
Check out me arsehole.
Haiku #69654, by Donning naughty pirate garb. of The treasure's down under.
January 17, 2021 2:41 am ET

You don't need no Trump
Darth Figpucker's way more sexy
He'll email you nudes
Haiku #69653, by Darth 2020 Stop the Squeal of In(box) always full
January 17, 2021 1:48 am ET

But he's so sexy.
I'm in love with Donald Trump.
He can move on me.
Haiku #69652, by Redneck church woman with good reasons to vote. of Nashville
January 17, 2021 12:32 am ET

The My Pillow Guy
Bedtime Stories for Old Men
who act like babies
Haiku #69651, by Meteorologist of Forecasting Tears of Trumpers
January 17, 2021 12:16 am ET

Popcorn?! For breakfast?!
Who the hell you think you are?!
Go watch your Hentai!
Haiku #69650, by Me to my 4 yo son. of Urotsukidoji universe.
January 16, 2021 10:08 pm ET

Long long pig shlong song.
Extra spicy Jimmy Dean.
You know what I mean.

Grind, stuffed from behind.
Spices and preservatives.
Hold the MSG.

Too greasy for me.
I'll have raisin oatmeal.
Thank you very much.
Haiku #69649, by And a coffee. of course! That goes w/o saying.
January 16, 2021 10:01 pm ET

It's all a con game.
Whores can't have relationships.
Or happy children.
Haiku #69648, by Here's some money, now leave.
January 16, 2021 9:54 pm ET

Poop poop poop dink dink.
Darth Darth Darth Darth long pig Darth.
Dinky poopy dink.
Haiku #69647, by Generic Noticer Poem Generator of Download the app at Google Store.
January 16, 2021 9:52 pm ET

I'm retarded
The relationship's not real
But still fucked it up.
Haiku #69646, by Lacklustre of Hotel Quarantine
January 16, 2021 6:19 pm ET

Happy New Year!!!
Haiku #69645, by Molley of a point or extent in space
January 16, 2021 5:10 pm ET

Oh Darth. You BORE me.
I daresay I'll repeat it:
How you BORE me Darth.
Haiku #69644, by Condescending of Five More Degrees
January 16, 2021 3:38 pm ET

Hot humid weather
makes the crickets sing loudly.
Predator's coming.
Haiku #69643, by Sexual Stealing of Prince's other song.
January 16, 2021 8:57 am ET

A hippie pigeon
lives in a pigeon co-op,
And po-ops on cars.
Haiku #69642, by Bad Dad Jokes 101
January 16, 2021 7:15 am ET

Are pigeons friendly?
Reserve bread crusts from your toast
Pigeon enjoy gifts
Haiku #69641, by Pigeon of Pigeon Coop
January 16, 2021 4:53 am ET

You are so worthless.
Nothing but a parasite.
Born and raised that way.
Haiku #69640, by Your mom is so proud. of course all your friends as well.
January 15, 2021 11:47 pm ET

Do not become gay
so you can stay regular.
"Gay" will plug you up!
Haiku #69639, by Constellation Constipation of I just took a stellar dump!
January 15, 2021 10:53 pm ET

how much will it cost
to hire a prostitute
that one can poop on?
Haiku #69638, by Asking for Noticer. of She's too embarased
January 15, 2021 10:45 pm ET

Give in to your hate.
Let the Dark Side consume you.
Have a hit of this.
Haiku #69637, by Fulfill your destiny. And my wallet.
January 15, 2021 10:43 pm ET

Not constipated.
I guess you weren't listening.
But you never did.
Haiku #69636, by Close mouth, open ears, open mind, fart. of Let it all out.
January 15, 2021 10:42 pm ET

The Honeymoon Suite
A penis dressed like Elvis
rests on crushed velvet
Haiku #69635, by Noticer of Details of TMZ
January 15, 2021 10:00 pm ET

C'mon high roller
Let's run off to Vegas, Darth
(Clink) Jackpot spilling
Haiku #69634, by Feline Hitchhiker of Getting off on the on ramp
January 15, 2021 9:41 pm ET

Pigeons are fine birds
Consider it your good luck
when they shit on you
Haiku #69633, by A. Pigeon of Rooftop
January 15, 2021 9:35 pm ET