Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 340 Days and 72806 Haikus later...

The day's not over.
Four million active cases.
I bet we'll reach it.
Haiku # 68751, November 13, 2020 12:34 pm ET
by All part of the plan of communist take over. Just you wait and see!
Pole dancing vocational program.
Certification substitutes high school diploma.
Good day, class. Welcome to Lap Grinding 101.
Haiku # 68750, November 13, 2020 12:29 pm ET
by Keep your hands to your side.
The Pythagorean theorem sure does get old after a while. We need some new exciting theorem like, "Fucking stupid triangles won't get you laid. Only money does that. Grab them by the pussy."
Haiku # 68749, November 13, 2020 12:12 pm ET
by White House Education Committee of Show us your Titties Committee.
Imagine if Luke Skywalker
ever mistook his light saber
for his Fleshlight.
Haiku # 68748, November 13, 2020 12:04 pm ET
by OOPS!
Green anal mucus.
Glowing radioactive.
Recharge your cell phone.
Haiku # 68747, November 13, 2020 12:03 pm ET
by Can you hear me now?
Only through me can
you acheive a power be-
yond any Jedi!

Lets gang bang this girl.
Never mind that she's purple.
And has fourteen legs.
Haiku # 68746, November 13, 2020 11:51 am ET
by SciFi Alien Sex of It's Out of This World!
Ash you need some help.
Your Trump Derangement Syndrome
Can be cured (through Trump)
Haiku # 68745, November 13, 2020 11:14 am ET
by Ash the Aussie Abo Support Squad
trump's hair has gone white
a merkin supremacist
for a major twat
Haiku # 68744, November 13, 2020 8:05 am ET
by ash
Somewhere in the world
Someone is taking a dump
That looks just like tRump
Haiku # 68743, November 13, 2020 7:07 am ET
by Cargo pants mafia
Somewhere in the world
someone who looks just like you
is taking a dump
Haiku # 68742, November 13, 2020 5:58 am ET
by Someone of Somewhere
happy birthday site
24 years old today
e-geriatric
Haiku # 68741, November 13, 2020 3:02 am ET
by ash
Fart out your penis!
You say it's impossible,
but I did it once!
Haiku # 68740, November 12, 2020 11:25 pm ET
by My superpower!
A new drinking game.
When covid numbers go up
you must take a shot.

Check your country's stats
each and every minute.
Worldmeter dot com.

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/

Oh shit. I have to have a shot now.

And if the active cases go down that means you have to rush into the bathroom and vomit.

Enjoy!
Haiku # 68739, November 12, 2020 11:23 pm ET
by Fraternity Paternity Testes Results of Boofing Clorox for Jesus (or Trump -- same same)
No, I was not born.
I was found under a rock.
So my "mom" tells me.
Haiku # 68738, November 12, 2020 9:37 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous. of Rock-n-Roll!
Drunken particles.
Accelerated neutrons.
Reactor meltdown.

It's Donald Trumps fault.
But at least it's not his fart.
That would be much worse.
Haiku # 68737, November 12, 2020 9:35 pm ET
by Supercritical participle nipple of Particular particle participating partly in the party
Sigh, oh ye willows.
Hang your boughs in grief and shame:
Darth's mom has birthed him.
Haiku # 68736, November 12, 2020 9:32 pm ET
by Maternal Afterthoughts of Birther's Remorse
So fun we got funt.
You were so bent you got bunt;
So shunned we were shunt.
Haiku # 68735, November 12, 2020 9:28 pm ET
by Pissed Participle of Irregular Brewery
Noun. funt. A unit of weight: 1 funt = 1 qadaq = 32 lot = 96 mısqal = 409.5 g = 1 pound (archaic)

A funt is a pound!
Shit, I'd like to pound her funt!
That's a funky cunt.
Haiku # 68734, November 12, 2020 9:20 pm ET
by dw. Hot candle wax on balls. of how many candles, how many spanks?
Those teenage hookers
Are very good at crochet.
They can make rugs too.
Haiku # 68733, November 12, 2020 9:19 pm ET
by Textile Sextile of Septimal
Haiku layer cake
Seventeen hot syllables
Happy Birthday, Darth
Haiku # 68732, November 12, 2020 9:19 pm ET
by Secret Admirer of Under old willow
Take your vitamins.
Don't want to have a limp dick,
you silly old man.

Guess how old I am.
Phyically not mentally.
Booger fart poopoo!
Haiku # 68731, November 12, 2020 9:15 pm ET
by Ancient teenager
Do you like funt cake?
Who put this funt in my cart?
Funt should be a word.
Haiku # 68730, November 12, 2020 9:12 pm ET
by Or... maybe it is!
How did you know that?!
But, and I've told you before,
I've stopped fucking pigs!

Just teenage hookers.
Make sure they're not ladyboys.
Those silly Asians.
Haiku # 68729, November 12, 2020 8:54 pm ET
by Darth WHORENDOUS! of Picking out Scorpio birthday cake.
Did you remember
On this day in November?
Figpucker's Birthday
Haiku # 68728, November 12, 2020 6:51 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
No conspiracy
Just lack of transparency
(Your emergency)
Haiku # 68727, November 12, 2020 5:18 am ET
by Forensics of Polemics
Breaking wind (and hearts)
Steamy kisses (fragrant farts)
Cupid's arrows (darts)
Haiku # 68726, November 12, 2020 5:14 am ET
by Gassanova
China lectures us ?
UN is irrelevant !
One World: go to hell.
Haiku # 68725, November 12, 2020 5:02 am ET
by Borders Language Culture
Elections have rules.
Science is real. No fake votes.
You can kiss my Ash.
Haiku # 68724, November 12, 2020 4:56 am ET
by So-Called Journalist of New York Times For Lying
A place for pigeons
Make him into a statue
If the coup don't fly
Haiku # 68723, November 11, 2020 11:03 pm ET
by Thinker of On the can
ima gonna stay
you can't make me go away
with illegal votes
Haiku # 68722, November 11, 2020 10:44 pm ET
by ash of in my safe place
Meow, Starkitten here
I like to call it catnip
It makes me purr. Purr ....
Haiku # 68721, November 11, 2020 10:04 pm ET
by Starkitten of Paw in the catnip
Donald Trump's a chump.
He will not concede his seed
in this time of need.

Watching the death count.
It's gotten to be boring.
Can I burn one, please?

I mean the bodies.
Or maybe a joint also.
Burn one then burn one.

To quote Cypress Hill:
I want to get hiiiigh, so high.
Insane in the brain.
Haiku # 68720, November 11, 2020 9:42 pm ET
by Love those silly gangster rappers. of And candy bar wrappers.
Honeymoon Night
Someone call the coroner
The little guy's dead
Haiku # 68719, November 11, 2020 7:55 pm ET
by Disappointed of Heart Shaped Bed
All these dead bodies.
I can't have sex with them and...
they're inedible!

Covid's not so fun.
Unless it kills enemies.
Then I'll have a laugh.
Haiku # 68718, November 11, 2020 7:50 pm ET
by millions upon millions of of corpses all going to waste :-(
The President, erect
He stands behind the lectern
Watch it levitate
Haiku # 68717, November 11, 2020 3:54 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Wearing a tarp like at a Gallagher performance
Cannibalism
It gets so quiet in here
when you mention it
Haiku # 68716, November 11, 2020 3:35 pm ET
by Hungry of Come out so I can eat you
Longpig Turducken
Three corpses shoved together
A true feast of friends
Haiku # 68715, November 11, 2020 5:26 am ET
by I'll be there for you of 'Cause you're there for me too
Osturduckenbat.
Like turducken but ostrich
outside, bat inside.
Haiku # 68714, November 11, 2020 2:57 am ET
by Ozzy Osbourne of Gordon Ramsay at my house for Thanksgiving dinner this year.
Please God, we need war.
Pandemic redneck shootings.
MAGA mass murders.

Kill the parasites!
Send them to California.'
Or their own countries.

Freaks there, humans here.
Heil motherfucking Trump.
Orange retribution!
Haiku # 68713, November 11, 2020 2:51 am ET
by Red bullet proof baseball cap. of Kevlar. 3 full auto rifles.
Happy Thanksgiving
Lame duck a l'orange this year
Pardon the turkeys
Haiku # 68712, November 11, 2020 2:46 am ET
by Carcass Tosser of White House Lawn
It looks just like Trump.
Cheeto with cotton candy.
Tastes just like him too.
Haiku # 68711, November 11, 2020 2:41 am ET
by Homeless child of New York City
Here, hold THIS hotdog.
Those aren't burn marks -- those are scabs.
Yes, it's mayonaise filled.
Haiku # 68710, November 11, 2020 2:39 am ET
by Oops! Did it squirt your eye?
4 MORE QUEERS!
4 MORE QUEERS!
4 MORE QUEERS!
Haiku # 68709, November 11, 2020 2:36 am ET
by American Tourist of Pattaya Thailand
The electric chair
Take a load off. Sit down.
Here, hold this hotdog
Haiku # 68708, November 11, 2020 2:03 am ET
by Frank Burns of Weiner Roast
What was he wearing
under his KKK robes?
A Star Wars costume?!

Are you kidding me?!
Jar Jar motherfucking Binks?!
What the hell -- He's black!
Haiku # 68707, November 10, 2020 10:31 pm ET
by Messa got big-ol' boner! of (Meesa sometimes pretend.)
It ain't over yet!
Donald Trump will kick your ass!
Bleeding heart poets!
Haiku # 68706, November 10, 2020 10:26 pm ET
by Stop the Squeal of Proud Ladyboys
Ten thousand cheap drones.
Attach dynamite to them.
Take out Democrats.

Those Godless heathens
will burn in the fiery pits.
We'll knock back some beers.
Haiku # 68705, November 10, 2020 5:47 pm ET
by Proud Boys! of White Flour! White Flour! White Flour!
I cast fire spell.
Black neighbors across the street
take 10 damage points.
Haiku # 68704, November 10, 2020 5:25 pm ET
by Grand Wizard rolling dice. of Stealing their fried chicken tho!
(8*10^21 atoms)/(6.022*10^23 atom/mol)*(190.23 g/mol)
Haiku # 68703, November 10, 2020 5:19 pm ET
by 2.53 g of Ozzy Osbournium
Come on you Trumpers!
Get out your guns and grenades.
Make America

White... err, I mean Great Again.
Haiku # 68702, November 10, 2020 5:15 pm ET
by Grand Wizard of Dungeons & Dragons
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