BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
63 Days
69621 Haikus
Sigh, oh ye willows.
Hang your boughs in grief and shame:
Darth's mom has birthed him.
Haiku #68736, by Maternal Afterthoughts of Birther's Remorse
November 12, 2020 9:32 pm ET

So fun we got funt.
You were so bent you got bunt;
So shunned we were shunt.
Haiku #68735, by Pissed Participle of Irregular Brewery
November 12, 2020 9:28 pm ET

Noun. funt. A unit of weight: 1 funt = 1 qadaq = 32 lot = 96 mısqal = 409.5 g = 1 pound (archaic)

A funt is a pound!
Shit, I'd like to pound her funt!
That's a funky cunt.
Haiku #68734, by dw. Hot candle wax on balls. of how many candles, how many spanks?
November 12, 2020 9:20 pm ET

Those teenage hookers
Are very good at crochet.
They can make rugs too.
Haiku #68733, by Textile Sextile of Septimal
November 12, 2020 9:19 pm ET

Haiku layer cake
Seventeen hot syllables
Happy Birthday, Darth
Haiku #68732, by Secret Admirer of Under old willow
November 12, 2020 9:19 pm ET

Take your vitamins.
Don't want to have a limp dick,
you silly old man.

Guess how old I am.
Phyically not mentally.
Booger fart poopoo!
Haiku #68731, by Ancient teenager
November 12, 2020 9:15 pm ET

Do you like funt cake?
Who put this funt in my cart?
Funt should be a word.
Haiku #68730, by Or... maybe it is!
November 12, 2020 9:12 pm ET

How did you know that?!
But, and I've told you before,
I've stopped fucking pigs!

Just teenage hookers.
Make sure they're not ladyboys.
Those silly Asians.
Haiku #68729, by Darth WHORENDOUS! of Picking out Scorpio birthday cake.
November 12, 2020 8:54 pm ET

Did you remember
On this day in November?
Figpucker's Birthday
Haiku #68728, by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
November 12, 2020 6:51 pm ET

No conspiracy
Just lack of transparency
(Your emergency)
Haiku #68727, by Forensics of Polemics
November 12, 2020 5:18 am ET

Breaking wind (and hearts)
Steamy kisses (fragrant farts)
Cupid's arrows (darts)
Haiku #68726, by Gassanova
November 12, 2020 5:14 am ET

China lectures us ?
UN is irrelevant !
One World: go to hell.
Haiku #68725, by Borders Language Culture
November 12, 2020 5:02 am ET

Elections have rules.
Science is real. No fake votes.
You can kiss my Ash.
Haiku #68724, by So-Called Journalist of New York Times For Lying
November 12, 2020 4:56 am ET

A place for pigeons
Make him into a statue
If the coup don't fly
Haiku #68723, by Thinker of On the can
November 11, 2020 11:03 pm ET

ima gonna stay
you can't make me go away
with illegal votes
Haiku #68722, by ash of in my safe place
November 11, 2020 10:44 pm ET

Meow, Starkitten here
I like to call it catnip
It makes me purr. Purr ....
Haiku #68721, by Starkitten of Paw in the catnip
November 11, 2020 10:04 pm ET

Donald Trump's a chump.
He will not concede his seed
in this time of need.

Watching the death count.
It's gotten to be boring.
Can I burn one, please?

I mean the bodies.
Or maybe a joint also.
Burn one then burn one.

To quote Cypress Hill:
I want to get hiiiigh, so high.
Insane in the brain.
Haiku #68720, by Love those silly gangster rappers. of And candy bar wrappers.
November 11, 2020 9:42 pm ET

Honeymoon Night
Someone call the coroner
The little guy's dead
Haiku #68719, by Disappointed of Heart Shaped Bed
November 11, 2020 7:55 pm ET

All these dead bodies.
I can't have sex with them and...
they're inedible!

Covid's not so fun.
Unless it kills enemies.
Then I'll have a laugh.
Haiku #68718, by millions upon millions of of corpses all going to waste :-(
November 11, 2020 7:50 pm ET

The President, erect
He stands behind the lectern
Watch it levitate
Haiku #68717, by Noticer of Details of Wearing a tarp like at a Gallagher performance
November 11, 2020 3:54 pm ET

It gets so quiet in here
when you mention it
Haiku #68716, by Hungry of Come out so I can eat you
November 11, 2020 3:35 pm ET

Longpig Turducken
Three corpses shoved together
A true feast of friends
Haiku #68715, by I'll be there for you of 'Cause you're there for me too
November 11, 2020 5:26 am ET

Like turducken but ostrich
outside, bat inside.
Haiku #68714, by Ozzy Osbourne of Gordon Ramsay at my house for Thanksgiving dinner this year.
November 11, 2020 2:57 am ET

Please God, we need war.
Pandemic redneck shootings.
MAGA mass murders.

Kill the parasites!
Send them to California.'
Or their own countries.

Freaks there, humans here.
Heil motherfucking Trump.
Orange retribution!
Haiku #68713, by Red bullet proof baseball cap. of Kevlar. 3 full auto rifles.
November 11, 2020 2:51 am ET

Happy Thanksgiving
Lame duck a l'orange this year
Pardon the turkeys
Haiku #68712, by Carcass Tosser of White House Lawn
November 11, 2020 2:46 am ET

It looks just like Trump.
Cheeto with cotton candy.
Tastes just like him too.
Haiku #68711, by Homeless child of New York City
November 11, 2020 2:41 am ET

Here, hold THIS hotdog.
Those aren't burn marks -- those are scabs.
Yes, it's mayonaise filled.
Haiku #68710, by Oops! Did it squirt your eye?
November 11, 2020 2:39 am ET

Haiku #68709, by American Tourist of Pattaya Thailand
November 11, 2020 2:36 am ET

The electric chair
Take a load off. Sit down.
Here, hold this hotdog
Haiku #68708, by Frank Burns of Weiner Roast
November 11, 2020 2:03 am ET

What was he wearing
under his KKK robes?
A Star Wars costume?!

Are you kidding me?!
Jar Jar motherfucking Binks?!
What the hell -- He's black!
Haiku #68707, by Messa got big-ol' boner! of (Meesa sometimes pretend.)
November 10, 2020 10:31 pm ET

It ain't over yet!
Donald Trump will kick your ass!
Bleeding heart poets!
Haiku #68706, by Stop the Squeal of Proud Ladyboys
November 10, 2020 10:26 pm ET

Ten thousand cheap drones.
Attach dynamite to them.
Take out Democrats.

Those Godless heathens
will burn in the fiery pits.
We'll knock back some beers.
Haiku #68705, by Proud Boys! of White Flour! White Flour! White Flour!
November 10, 2020 5:47 pm ET

I cast fire spell.
Black neighbors across the street
take 10 damage points.
Haiku #68704, by Grand Wizard rolling dice. of Stealing their fried chicken tho!
November 10, 2020 5:25 pm ET

(8*10^21 atoms)/(6.022*10^23 atom/mol)*(190.23 g/mol)
Haiku #68703, by 2.53 g of Ozzy Osbournium
November 10, 2020 5:19 pm ET

Come on you Trumpers!
Get out your guns and grenades.
Make America

White... err, I mean Great Again.
Haiku #68702, by Grand Wizard of Dungeons & Dragons
November 10, 2020 5:15 pm ET

I fucked her in an apple orchard
and came in cider.
Haiku #68701, by Bo, yo!
November 10, 2020 5:04 pm ET

Inside Darth inside
Darth inside Darth inside Darth
Inside Darth incide
Haiku #68700, by Rushing Doll of Shelf
November 10, 2020 3:00 pm ET

Trump just beginning
Making global Left livid
Election clean-up!
Haiku #68699, by Dishonest Dems of Too Far Too Fast
November 10, 2020 1:36 pm ET

Turduckens are gross.
Fat white trash flesh fantasy.
Fowl insertion feast.
Haiku #68698, by Keep it basic. of Stuff it with stuffing, not a bird inside a bird inside a bird... They ain't Russian dolls!
November 10, 2020 12:49 pm ET

It all goes down here.
Bad Haiku is the battle
for transparency.
Haiku #68697, by Not "Trans Parents" see?
November 10, 2020 7:49 am ET

it's white as they come
regardless of skin colour
we're all sperm brothers
Haiku #68696, by ash
November 10, 2020 7:16 am ET

Garden of long dinks
Here I go gathering nuts
in May. Tra La La.
Haiku #68695, by Dink puller of Dink Garden
November 10, 2020 5:37 am ET

Stop changing it to garden
Haiku #68694, by Anonymous Poet
November 10, 2020 5:35 am ET

Gordon Ramsay's dink
Marinated for 2 days
In Ina Garden's cunt
Haiku #68693, by Foodie of Watching TV in kitchen
November 10, 2020 5:34 am ET

Like, I'm not gay, but
I'd eat magic dink mushrooms.
And go surf with sharks.
Haiku #68692, by Shark stuffed w/ Long Pig stuffed with Mushrooms! of Way better than "turducken".
November 9, 2020 6:33 pm ET

Men die. Get buried.
Up from the ground mushrooms shoot
They look just like dinks
Haiku #68691, by Noticer of Details of Cemetery
November 9, 2020 6:28 pm ET

Longpig smorgasbord
I've chewed my fingernails down
as appetizers
Haiku #68690, by Hungry of I smell Hoomans
November 9, 2020 6:25 pm ET

Why is it when I
mention canabalism
you fuckers clam up?

We are all just meat.
But I don't want to eat Trump.
I mean, ewww, nasty.
Haiku #68689, by Hannibal's recipe book on Amazon.
November 9, 2020 5:58 pm ET

Georgia rednecks eat
gay frog maggot cheese burgers
on a glazed brioche.
Haiku #68688, by Joe-rgians Biden their time. of 1, 2, 3, 4... four votes! Hahahaha! (Sesame St. count.)
November 9, 2020 5:55 pm ET

Alex Jones' gay frogs.
They taste just like normal frogs.
But they're spicier.
Haiku #68687, by
November 9, 2020 3:39 pm ET