Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 314 Days and 72144 Haikus later...

Men die. Get buried.
Up from the ground mushrooms shoot
They look just like dinks
Haiku # 68691, November 9, 2020 6:28 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Cemetery
Longpig smorgasbord
I've chewed my fingernails down
as appetizers
Haiku # 68690, November 9, 2020 6:25 pm ET
by Hungry of I smell Hoomans
Why is it when I
mention canabalism
you fuckers clam up?

We are all just meat.
But I don't want to eat Trump.
I mean, ewww, nasty.
Haiku # 68689, November 9, 2020 5:58 pm ET
by Hannibal's recipe book on Amazon.
Georgia rednecks eat
gay frog maggot cheese burgers
on a glazed brioche.
Haiku # 68688, November 9, 2020 5:55 pm ET
by Joe-rgians Biden their time. of 1, 2, 3, 4... four votes! Hahahaha! (Sesame St. count.)
Alex Jones' gay frogs.
They taste just like normal frogs.
But they're spicier.
Haiku # 68687, November 9, 2020 3:39 pm ET
by
What's the point of having all those
guns if you're not going to use them.
Stupd Proud Boys should be Ashamed!
Stop the Steal there's no free meal.
Haiku # 68686, November 9, 2020 7:41 am ET
by Grandwizard Figpucker of Georgia -- As in "The Devil Went Down To"... but shouldn't it be "up to".
So how about that cheese w/ maggots in it that those crazy people like to eat, casu marzu. Sardinian goat cheese w/ larvae and it's illegal in some places -- I guess ppl have died from eating it. I mean, that's serioulsy funky. I would probably have to pass on that one, but I've eaten some crazy stuff in my travels. I mean, you know, human flesh is fine, but maggotty cheese... ew. No. Fuck off with that shite. Capisce? Oh, yeah, I forgot, they used to put that in Fear Factor. Crazy show. Anyway.

Grinch or Santa Claus?
Or the infamous Krampus?
Let's put it to vote.
Haiku # 68685, November 9, 2020 7:28 am ET
by I vote for Krampus of B/c he eats children.
Yo Ash r u white?
Why u hate on yo own peeps?
Australian self-hate?
Haiku # 68684, November 9, 2020 4:14 am ET
by Ash Must Be 100 percent Abo
never surrender
and never admit defeat
stay proud but stupid
Haiku # 68683, November 9, 2020 2:01 am ET
by ash
A good sniper shot
is all it would take to start
a revolution.
Haiku # 68682, November 8, 2020 11:31 pm ET
by God has spoken, you infedels. of Allahu Akbar and Stuff!
an old white guy's cum
another old white guy tossed
on clit pus deranged
Haiku # 68681, November 8, 2020 11:27 pm ET
by hash of pipe
Jesus speaks to Trump.
So we should do what he says.
Biden is Satan.
Haiku # 68680, November 8, 2020 11:24 pm ET
by Praise the Lord! of AK-47 and Pick-up Truck
Rubbed dink on French fries.
Time for a new dick 'tater.
Have some mayonaise.
Haiku # 68679, November 8, 2020 11:20 pm ET
by dw
encore fois

an old white guy won
another old white guy lost
on dit plus ca change

(without the cedilla)

au revoir garcon
Haiku # 68678, November 8, 2020 11:12 pm ET
by ash
i fucking knew it
use some foreign character
and bad haiku spits
Haiku # 68677, November 8, 2020 11:11 pm ET
by ash
an old white guy won
another old white guy lost
on dit plus ça change
Haiku # 68676, November 8, 2020 11:10 pm ET
by ash
God fearing rednecks.
Prove your loyalty to Trump.
Kill all Democrats!
Haiku # 68675, November 8, 2020 8:40 pm ET
by God, Jesus, & Holy Ghost
God loves Donald Trump.
You should love Donald Trump too.
Prove it with your guns.
Haiku # 68674, November 8, 2020 7:58 pm ET
by @TheRealGod of #Godiswatching
Trump is the POTUS.
Joe Biden is the SCROTUS.
Get your guns, kiddos!
Haiku # 68673, November 8, 2020 7:55 pm ET
by WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR of WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR WAR
Unlawful riots.
Only BLM does that.
We protect our rights.
Haiku # 68672, November 8, 2020 7:52 pm ET
by Proud Boys of Stop the Steal
Let's take a survey.
How many of you own guns?
Any Democrats?
Haiku # 68671, November 8, 2020 7:50 pm ET
by So I guess I won!
Do you guys know Ash?
That guy writes the best haiku.
Terrific poet.
Haiku # 68670, November 8, 2020 7:48 pm ET
by POTUS Donald Trump
I'm praying for war.
A yuge civil uprising.
We all know I won.
Haiku # 68669, November 8, 2020 7:47 pm ET
by POTUS Donald Trump
The aircon blows high.
I'm trying to hibernate.
Don't care what it costs.
Haiku # 68667, November 8, 2020 4:26 pm ET
by Not a fucking grizzly, but of course I can try.
Life is full of farts.
Enormous toxic butt queefs.
Right up your nostrils.
Haiku # 68666, November 8, 2020 4:21 pm ET
by Emperor Flatus Maximus
Hey true believers
My son was not a white guy
Just thought you should know
Haiku # 68665, November 8, 2020 10:01 am ET
by Gawd
Hey Irvin Baxter
You dirty fornicator
Time to pay the bill
Haiku # 68664, November 8, 2020 8:27 am ET
by Gawd
I found the dummy
It's stuck in the other end
His silence explained
Haiku # 68663, November 8, 2020 7:18 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Exiting White House (Spidey Style)
who stole my dummy ?
ima not let you finish
such deep state of shock
Haiku # 68662, November 8, 2020 4:58 am ET
by ash
Isolation and
solitary confinement
availability here
Haiku # 68661, November 8, 2020 4:52 am ET
by I. Malone
And the goldfish was
a natural orange color,
not day-glo Cheetos.

CAS# 2783-94-0
C16H10N2Na2O7S2
Disodium 6-hydroxy-5-[(4-sulfophenyl)azo]-2-naphthalenesulfonate
Molar mass: 452.36 g/mol
MP: 300 degrees C
Haiku # 68660, November 8, 2020 2:36 am ET
by FD & C Yellow 6 Overdose of It isn't crack -- don't smoke it!!!
Reminds me of the
time my Mom flushed our dead gold-
fish down the toilet
Haiku # 68659, November 8, 2020 1:31 am ET
by X. Cept of The Goldfish wasn't an Asshole
Have you ever made
fulminated mercury?
Be sure to breathe deep.
Haiku # 68658, November 7, 2020 9:38 pm ET
by Mad as a Hatter
Repub Nazis be liKKKe:
Hump Trump's plump bumpy rump.
Nevermind the grump tooKKK a dump.
Couldn't reach around to wipe his rump.
That's why he's a grump.
We forgive him, praise Jesus!
Where's my AKKK-47?

"I have the best words."
"And I maKKKe the biggest turds."
"They smell liKKKe flowers."
Haiku # 68657, November 7, 2020 9:18 pm ET
by White Flower!
cry me a river
fulminating narcissist
it's time for your nap
Haiku # 68656, November 7, 2020 7:43 pm ET
by ash
one man's false prophet
when viewed through the right prism
is undeclared loss
Haiku # 68655, November 7, 2020 7:18 pm ET
by ash
Everything works out
What you lack in hand job skills
Offset by great head
Haiku # 68654, November 7, 2020 5:50 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Reporting Live
I hope Orange Man
Pulls out all the freaking stops
and does some damage.
Haiku # 68653, November 7, 2020 5:32 pm ET
by But maybe He Was Always Just an Egotistic Buffoon
Now, in retrospect
hatred levels for Trump were
inexplicable.
Haiku # 68652, November 7, 2020 5:28 pm ET
by Virtue-Signaling Idiots of the U.S.A.
Oooh I am so mad.
I'm thoroughly disgusted.
Dismalmocracy.
Haiku # 68651, November 7, 2020 5:24 pm ET
by Treachery on Every Side
We're all cum gobblers.
Just stop and think about it.
Scrambled, fried, or poached.

I like to take mine
over easy on wheat toast
with pepper and salt.

My grandma liked hers
scrambled with salmon mixed in.
It was pretty good.

Coffee's important.
Offsets the eggs' heaviness.
Gives one energy.
Haiku # 68650, November 7, 2020 3:23 pm ET
by And you need energy to go out and bang turkeys. of You nasty white trash Trump voter.
Happy Thanksgiving
to all you Turkey Fuckers
and Cum Gobblers
Haiku # 68649, November 7, 2020 12:02 pm ET
by Early Bird of Self Basting Outpost
cheats never prosper
although some seem to get rich
proverbs are fake news
Haiku # 68648, November 7, 2020 6:12 am ET
by ash
McDonald's BigMac.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Four energy drinks.

Three shots of vodka.
Ice cold out of the freezer.
Absinthe for dessert.

Two teenage hookers.
Marijuana and mushrooms.
Lastly the acid.
Haiku # 68647, November 7, 2020 3:41 am ET
by Emperor Trump of Wearing no clothes.
never ever lose
just get cheated by fake news
of alternate views
Haiku # 68646, November 7, 2020 2:49 am ET
by ash
"Who is my tailor?!?!"
You imply that I wear clothes.
A bold assumption.
Haiku # 68645, November 7, 2020 2:31 am ET
by Nudists rule! of Hairy stinky hippie chicks smoking pot.
The thing that pisses me off about Trump is that he never promised to legallize pussy-grabbing. If he'd have done that, I'd get behind him 100%.
Haiku # 68644, November 7, 2020 2:24 am ET
by Hunter Biden of Don't tell dad I said this.
I dun voted Trump.
He's shur gots a purdy mouth.
I grab pussy too.
Haiku # 68643, November 7, 2020 2:21 am ET
by Bufford T. Figpucker of No relation to Darth. But I am a distant uncle of Ash. And I sold vhs a slightly used possum.
Biden blasts blue bile
bombastically between
backward booger brains.
Haiku # 68642, November 7, 2020 2:18 am ET
by Emperor Trump of No Longer President
Biden blasts blue bile
bombastically between
backward booger brains.
Haiku # 68641, November 7, 2020 2:18 am ET
by Emperor Trump of No Longer President
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