Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 242 Days and 77165 Haiku later...

Hey Irvin Baxter
You dirty fornicator
Time to pay the bill
Haiku # 68664, November 8, 2020 8:27 am ET
by Gawd
I found the dummy
It's stuck in the other end
His silence explained
Haiku # 68663, November 8, 2020 7:18 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Exiting White House (Spidey Style)
who stole my dummy ?
ima not let you finish
such deep state of shock
Haiku # 68662, November 8, 2020 4:58 am ET
by ash
Isolation and
solitary confinement
availability here
Haiku # 68661, November 8, 2020 4:52 am ET
by I. Malone
And the goldfish was
a natural orange color,
not day-glo Cheetos.

CAS# 2783-94-0
Disodium 6-hydroxy-5-[(4-sulfophenyl)azo]-2-naphthalenesulfonate
Molar mass: 452.36 g/mol
MP: 300 degrees C
Haiku # 68660, November 8, 2020 2:36 am ET
by FD & C Yellow 6 Overdose of It isn't crack -- don't smoke it!!!
Reminds me of the
time my Mom flushed our dead gold-
fish down the toilet
Haiku # 68659, November 8, 2020 1:31 am ET
by X. Cept of The Goldfish wasn't an Asshole
Have you ever made
fulminated mercury?
Be sure to breathe deep.
Haiku # 68658, November 7, 2020 9:38 pm ET
by Mad as a Hatter
Repub Nazis be liKKKe:
Hump Trump's plump bumpy rump.
Nevermind the grump tooKKK a dump.
Couldn't reach around to wipe his rump.
That's why he's a grump.
We forgive him, praise Jesus!
Where's my AKKK-47?

"I have the best words."
"And I maKKKe the biggest turds."
"They smell liKKKe flowers."
Haiku # 68657, November 7, 2020 9:18 pm ET
by White Flower!
cry me a river
fulminating narcissist
it's time for your nap
Haiku # 68656, November 7, 2020 7:43 pm ET
by ash
one man's false prophet
when viewed through the right prism
is undeclared loss
Haiku # 68655, November 7, 2020 7:18 pm ET
by ash
Everything works out
What you lack in hand job skills
Offset by great head
Haiku # 68654, November 7, 2020 5:50 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Reporting Live
I hope Orange Man
Pulls out all the freaking stops
and does some damage.
Haiku # 68653, November 7, 2020 5:32 pm ET
by But maybe He Was Always Just an Egotistic Buffoon
Now, in retrospect
hatred levels for Trump were
Haiku # 68652, November 7, 2020 5:28 pm ET
by Virtue-Signaling Idiots of the U.S.A.
Oooh I am so mad.
I'm thoroughly disgusted.
Haiku # 68651, November 7, 2020 5:24 pm ET
by Treachery on Every Side
We're all cum gobblers.
Just stop and think about it.
Scrambled, fried, or poached.

I like to take mine
over easy on wheat toast
with pepper and salt.

My grandma liked hers
scrambled with salmon mixed in.
It was pretty good.

Coffee's important.
Offsets the eggs' heaviness.
Gives one energy.
Haiku # 68650, November 7, 2020 3:23 pm ET
by And you need energy to go out and bang turkeys. of You nasty white trash Trump voter.
Happy Thanksgiving
to all you Turkey Fuckers
and Cum Gobblers
Haiku # 68649, November 7, 2020 12:02 pm ET
by Early Bird of Self Basting Outpost
cheats never prosper
although some seem to get rich
proverbs are fake news
Haiku # 68648, November 7, 2020 6:12 am ET
by ash
McDonald's BigMac.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Four energy drinks.

Three shots of vodka.
Ice cold out of the freezer.
Absinthe for dessert.

Two teenage hookers.
Marijuana and mushrooms.
Lastly the acid.
Haiku # 68647, November 7, 2020 3:41 am ET
by Emperor Trump of Wearing no clothes.
never ever lose
just get cheated by fake news
of alternate views
Haiku # 68646, November 7, 2020 2:49 am ET
by ash
"Who is my tailor?!?!"
You imply that I wear clothes.
A bold assumption.
Haiku # 68645, November 7, 2020 2:31 am ET
by Nudists rule! of Hairy stinky hippie chicks smoking pot.
The thing that pisses me off about Trump is that he never promised to legallize pussy-grabbing. If he'd have done that, I'd get behind him 100%.
Haiku # 68644, November 7, 2020 2:24 am ET
by Hunter Biden of Don't tell dad I said this.
I dun voted Trump.
He's shur gots a purdy mouth.
I grab pussy too.
Haiku # 68643, November 7, 2020 2:21 am ET
by Bufford T. Figpucker of No relation to Darth. But I am a distant uncle of Ash. And I sold vhs a slightly used possum.
Biden blasts blue bile
bombastically between
backward booger brains.
Haiku # 68642, November 7, 2020 2:18 am ET
by Emperor Trump of No Longer President
Biden blasts blue bile
bombastically between
backward booger brains.
Haiku # 68641, November 7, 2020 2:18 am ET
by Emperor Trump of No Longer President
trump can take a dump
purge that republican rump
all hands to the pump
Haiku # 68640, November 7, 2020 1:55 am ET
by ash
The Church...Tantalized
Marijuana Doggie Bag
Get high for decades
Haiku # 68639, November 6, 2020 8:57 pm ET
by Starkitten of Anywhere marijuana can be found
synth aesthesia
artistic affectation
asymmetric shirts

hearing the 80's
is like another planet
sent you their message
Haiku # 68638, November 6, 2020 8:25 pm ET
by ash
the cosplay of leadership
as the empire falls
Haiku # 68637, November 6, 2020 7:39 pm ET
by ash
What kind of a guy
throws up in the kitchen sink
and just leaves it there?
Haiku # 68636, November 6, 2020 4:17 am ET
by I. Wenttogetadrinkofwater of Exiting Kitchen
as the spotlight fades
once a glowing mandarin
now a dull orange
Haiku # 68635, November 6, 2020 3:17 am ET
by ash
When the geese fly by
I always stop in my tracks
What else can you do?
Haiku # 68634, November 6, 2020 2:25 am ET
by Starkitten of Out in the cold
Here comes the BIG CHEESE
An homage to the fromage
Fromunda your balls
Haiku # 68633, November 5, 2020 9:44 pm ET
by Dairy Alien of Cheddarsphere
Darth, you CHEESE-eater;
Refined bourgeois gentleman.
Who is your tailor?
Haiku # 68632, November 5, 2020 7:05 am ET
by Wicked Gentlemen's Retinue of Society Hill
Kinda personal
Have you ever banged a corpse?
You're going to Hell
Haiku # 68631, November 5, 2020 4:21 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
The Fonz jumped a shark.
He never made love to one.
Teeth do not scare me.

My Vespa's beats his
Triumph Trophy TR5.
Chicks cream on Vespas.
Haiku # 68630, November 5, 2020 3:11 am ET
by Mortician Winkler banged a corpse. of Night Shift director's cut.
The Fonz checks his look
(Whines) "I'll never be as cool
as Darth Figpucker"
Haiku # 68629, November 5, 2020 2:54 am ET
by Arthur Fonzarelli of Arnold's
Haiku # 68628, November 5, 2020 1:01 am ET
by Michtel Robertson of USA
Maybe I can help
Is someone hoarding the cheese?
What planet u on?
Haiku # 68627, November 4, 2020 11:25 pm ET
by The Big Cheese of Moon
All I want is CHEESE!
REAL motherfucking dairy!
It's too much to ask?!?!
Haiku # 68626, November 4, 2020 10:46 pm ET
by Fond of Fondue -- it's fon to do.
i am not a bot,
really i am not a bot just
very annoying
Haiku # 68625, November 4, 2020 9:14 pm ET
by vhs of dvd knows me
who knew that all your
base would not belong to us
but end up with them
Haiku # 68624, November 4, 2020 9:13 pm ET
by vhs of war was beginning...
who knew that all your
base would not belong to us
but end up with them
Haiku # 68623, November 4, 2020 9:13 pm ET
by vhs of war was beginning...
ah who sold us out
chyna, russia or maybe
harvey weinstein, stat.
Haiku # 68622, November 4, 2020 9:01 pm ET
by vhs
Pheonix? Phonics
cannot help us at this point.
Count those votes, suckers...
Haiku # 68621, November 4, 2020 8:58 pm ET
by Who Sold the Ballot Machines ?
i am burned to the
ground in inhuman revolt
pheonix rising up
Haiku # 68620, November 4, 2020 8:53 pm ET
by VHS
not spoilt for choices
vote for either old white man
it's still america
Haiku # 68619, November 4, 2020 8:47 pm ET
by ash
does it take an huge
erection dysfunction or
election recount?
Haiku # 68618, November 4, 2020 8:45 pm ET
by Tommy VHSeau of Lisa you are tearing me apart!!!!
Trump or Biden? don't care
I will still smoke weed and hate
these old white fuckers
Haiku # 68617, November 3, 2020 10:23 pm ET
by Line of lines
Looks like the orange abomination could pull it off! Congrats to Russia for their hacking abilities.
Haiku # 68616, November 3, 2020 10:12 pm ET
Badhaiku dot com
The fastest, most accurate
election results.
Haiku # 68615, November 3, 2020 6:52 pm ET
by You heard it here first! of The Kremlin
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >