Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
26 Years, 21 Days and 76196 Haiku later...

https://groups.google.com/d/topic/uk.politics.misc/LVdthl4-gS8

https://groups.google.com/d/topic/soc.culture.british/0Qgy9b4bW0s

https://groups.google.com/d/topic/soc.culture.australian/p3JlxZv1eb4

https://groups.google.com/d/topic/soc.culture.french/UI7KiO3VSzo

https://groups.google.com/d/topic/soc.culture.new-zealand/ftnvrv4xVWU

https://groups.google.com/d/topic/alt.home.repair/NRXTI7uxyH4

https://groups.google.com/d/topic/news.admin.net-abuse.usenet/ffDfbxcY0eE

https://groups.google.com/d/topic/soc.women/DMdEGExqVDc

https://groups.google.com/d/topic/news.admin.net-abuse.usenet/i4rJCYfkNWI
Haiku # 68628, November 5, 2020 1:01 am ET
by Michtel Robertson of USA
Maybe I can help
Is someone hoarding the cheese?
What planet u on?
Haiku # 68627, November 4, 2020 11:25 pm ET
by The Big Cheese of Moon
All I want is CHEESE!
REAL motherfucking dairy!
It's too much to ask?!?!
Haiku # 68626, November 4, 2020 10:46 pm ET
by Fond of Fondue -- it's fon to do.
i am not a bot,
really i am not a bot just
very annoying
Haiku # 68625, November 4, 2020 9:14 pm ET
by vhs of dvd knows me
who knew that all your
base would not belong to us
but end up with them
Haiku # 68624, November 4, 2020 9:13 pm ET
by vhs of war was beginning...
who knew that all your
base would not belong to us
but end up with them
Haiku # 68623, November 4, 2020 9:13 pm ET
by vhs of war was beginning...
ah who sold us out
chyna, russia or maybe
harvey weinstein, stat.
Haiku # 68622, November 4, 2020 9:01 pm ET
by vhs
Pheonix? Phonics
cannot help us at this point.
Count those votes, suckers...
Haiku # 68621, November 4, 2020 8:58 pm ET
by Who Sold the Ballot Machines ?
i am burned to the
ground in inhuman revolt
pheonix rising up
Haiku # 68620, November 4, 2020 8:53 pm ET
by VHS
not spoilt for choices
vote for either old white man
it's still america
Haiku # 68619, November 4, 2020 8:47 pm ET
by ash
does it take an huge
erection dysfunction or
election recount?
Haiku # 68618, November 4, 2020 8:45 pm ET
by Tommy VHSeau of Lisa you are tearing me apart!!!!
Trump or Biden? don't care
I will still smoke weed and hate
these old white fuckers
Haiku # 68617, November 3, 2020 10:23 pm ET
by Line of lines
Looks like the orange abomination could pull it off! Congrats to Russia for their hacking abilities.
Haiku # 68616, November 3, 2020 10:12 pm ET
by
Badhaiku dot com
The fastest, most accurate
election results.
Haiku # 68615, November 3, 2020 6:52 pm ET
by You heard it here first! of The Kremlin
That was funny, Darth
Haiku # 68614, November 3, 2020 6:44 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Fuck the electoral college.
Fuck it in its ass.
Losers boofing Russian vodka.
That's what college kids do.
Emergency room alcohol poisoning.
It was external, not anal this time.
Covid disinfectant drunk.
Expelled! Please don't come back!
Haiku # 68613, November 3, 2020 5:23 pm ET
by Sigma Cum Laude of Cheeto University (she'd always cum loud).
Trump will drag it on.
I'd like to see him in drag.
Short dress and lipstick.
Haiku # 68612, November 3, 2020 5:14 pm ET
by Hunter Biden
My penis fell off.
I glued on some ugly hair
and painted it orange.

Then it ran away.
If any of you see it,
tell it please come home.

No more cosmetics.
I promise. Please come back home.
I need to go pee.

I miss you, penis.
And I miss what you stood for.
Don't do this to me.
Haiku # 68611, November 3, 2020 4:51 pm ET
by 100 peso reward of And all the balot you can eat.
They will drag this on
for weeks and months probably.
Electoral joke.
Haiku # 68610, November 3, 2020 3:04 pm ET
by Vote-counters of Josef V. Djugashvili
In the line to vote:
Someone said "Salty Cracker"
We started chatting.

https://odysee.com/@SaltyCracker:a
Haiku # 68609, November 3, 2020 2:31 pm ET
by Salty Army of Assaulting Haiku Bases
I feel terrible.
The Beruit blast was my fault.
Yo. Sorry. My bad.
Haiku # 68608, November 3, 2020 7:28 am ET
by I just really like fireworks.
The Stay Puff Marshmallow Man
injected with low quality orange sherbet.
How can you not vote for such a sweet fella?
Haiku # 68607, November 3, 2020 7:24 am ET
by I don't care about his taxes. of I want a DNA test to prove he's human!
I wore a yamika
with a harmonica
playing Hava Naguila
watching Godzilla
whatever the hell that means.
Haiku # 68606, November 3, 2020 7:21 am ET
by Yo! Lox and bagels in the motherfuckin' house, bitch! of Rugelach Ness Monster -- about tree fiddy
vote for a potus
not that incumbent scrotus
feeding you lotus
Haiku # 68605, November 3, 2020 7:14 am ET
by ash
We bought M-80s,
Used sparklers as the fuses:
Hilton men's room. BOOM!!
Haiku # 68604, November 3, 2020 6:22 am ET
by Nairobi Hilton of circa 1979
Haha Funny stuff
Should be reenacted like
Unsolved Mysteries
Haiku # 68603, November 3, 2020 5:55 am ET
by Did you wear a beanie of With a propellor?
Hollywood monsters
are getting way too big now.
Like what's up with that?!
Haiku # 68602, November 3, 2020 3:09 am ET
by
Thanksgiving dinner.
Who's looking forward to it?
Gobble gobble burp.
Haiku # 68601, November 3, 2020 3:06 am ET
by
To go back in time.
I'd kick my ass so damn hard.
What a wasted life.

Then I stop and think;
try to look the brigt side--
At least I don't write fucking haiku!
Haiku # 68600, November 3, 2020 3:02 am ET
by
This is no haiku.
But then you knew that already.
What should we call it?
Haiku # 68599, November 3, 2020 2:57 am ET
by
I pulled the airplane from the sky.
It made funny noises.
I thought about letting it go.
But then it was too late.
Haiku # 68598, November 3, 2020 2:55 am ET
by
God does not love you.
By the way, neither do I.
But then no one does.
Haiku # 68597, November 3, 2020 2:54 am ET
by
Plain yogurt mixed with bananas and berries.
I felt the need to write that.
Can you explain it?
Enthrall me with your acumen, agent Starling.
Haiku # 68596, November 3, 2020 2:51 am ET
by
Once I went into a pick-yer-dilly caffeteria in the mall, not to eat, but just to use their bathroom. I was with a friend and and older gent was in the poo stall groaning and moaning with enormous poo splatter sounds and to a couple of young teenage boys, this was effing hilarious. We also set off fireworks in the mall once. And countless shoplifting adventures and vandelism. Hmmm... Oh yeah, once in an outdoor mall they had a kids merry-go-round that you put quarters in to get it spinning... well, no one was around so we peed all over it. And there was the time my friend (different friend) lobbed a fire-bomb at the fur coat store. that was cool, but sadly fell short b/c it kind of bounced off. LOL. What a dumb fart. We're talkign like 40 years ago. Can't think of much else. ... OH Wait! The best one, how could I forget this. Same friend who threw the firebomb... we got some long sticks and put chewing gum on the end and plucked dollar bills out the Salvation Army giant iron collection kettle that was closed off with a grate that you could drop money through. We went in the mall early and really raked up. Ah, the good old days.

And you, my friend? What horrid things had you done in your glory days?

Speaking of glory, we had talked about this, but never did it... find some glory hold hang out like public parks or whatever, and when the dick goes through, superglue the mother fucker. LOL.. Kind of wish we'd done that. Life.
Haiku # 68595, November 3, 2020 2:42 am ET
by Your turn!
Tell us a story
Like the mall shenanigans
You must have plenty
Haiku # 68594, November 3, 2020 1:27 am ET
by All Ears of Under old willow
I inhaled Hitler and Gandhi's farts simultaneously.
The molecules reacted, as molecules do sometime.
It spoke to me and said to stop writing these things.
It's message to me is supposed to be a secret.
By telling you this I've broken a horrible tabu.
I am prepared for my punishment -- truth must be spoken!
Fuck the molecules!
Even the very molecules of our bodies were once
farts at some point in time.
Dinosaurs, Hitler, Pee-Wee Herman, you and I.
Breathe deeply. Absorb the hatered. Join with it.
Saturate the universe with your hate.
Let it flow from your ass with a thunderous roar!
No more timid trouser squeaks!
Let the cyanide flow!
Haiku # 68593, November 3, 2020 1:00 am ET
by
Yoga position
Stretches the sore ass muscles
Called the pigeon pose
Haiku # 68592, November 2, 2020 10:27 pm ET
by I. Justshitonthesidewalk of Brooklyn Heights, NY
Did you just inhale
Hitler's fart molecules, Darth?
Do they have a smell?
Haiku # 68591, November 2, 2020 9:09 pm ET
by Dinosaur Fart of Breeze
Hunter the Biden!
Where the hell are you Homie?
Chairman Mao needs you!
Haiku # 68589, November 2, 2020 5:15 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Drudge you back slider
Investigate your wrong call

About election-
you turned into a jive @$$
leftist Chitbird shill.

Your @$$ will be beat
November the third for sure
Cry louder @$$ hat!
Haiku # 68588, November 2, 2020 5:10 pm ET
by Wong Lofan of Kalifornia
Already knew that
(The dinosaurs/Satan thing).
Darth's not that evil.
Haiku # 68587, November 2, 2020 5:04 pm ET
by Whorrendously Tame of Mr. Nice Guy DW
Drinking seawater
Half dead. Hallucinating.
I just fucked an eel
Haiku # 68586, November 2, 2020 1:07 pm ET
by Zippy of Zodiac Inflatable
Sea urchin or crab?
Platypus or octopus?
Jellyfish or cunt?
Haiku # 68585, November 2, 2020 12:59 pm ET
by Observer of At Sea
Hate's all that remains.
Attempt to hide w/ a smile.
Soon the damn will burst.

My soul is pure dark.
I now infect the Dark Side.
Feel how it shudders.
Haiku # 68584, November 2, 2020 9:01 am ET
by Darth Whorendous
Of course I knew that.
Three bucks dino rides in Hell.
Triceratops rules!

I can read your mind.
No, you can't have sex with them.
Hell ain't Las Vegas!
Haiku # 68583, November 2, 2020 8:30 am ET
by dw
Did you know Satan
Genetically engineered
all the dinosaurs?
Haiku # 68582, November 2, 2020 5:02 am ET
by Ask Me of Go ahead, ask me
UPS left it
I think it was his wife's head
or an Instant Pot
Haiku # 68581, November 1, 2020 11:32 pm ET
by Corn Colonel of Aisle seat
That's not the real Darth
This one sounds mean and unhinged
Bring back the real one
Haiku # 68580, November 1, 2020 11:25 pm ET
by In the vicinity of A turkey fucker
I had a bad thought.
They might make turkey balot.
God, what have we done?

We should have let the Japs finish the job.
Funny that after WWII and the all the genocide, the silly filly flippas still go work the brothels in Japan. No attention to history. It's just forgotten. That happens when you don't even care to read.
Haiku # 68579, November 1, 2020 11:05 pm ET
by blahblahblah Trump Biden Bastard Balls
Stuffing the turkey.
Duct tape up the legs and feet
so she can't scratch you.

You got a pocketful of cranberry sauce, or you been banging turkey's again? Christ almighty boy, at least wipe it off when you're done.
Haiku # 68578, November 1, 2020 10:59 pm ET
by Gobble gobble. of Butterball butchering and packaging plant
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