Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 242 Days and 77165 Haiku later...

UPS left it
I think it was his wife's head
or an Instant Pot
Haiku # 68581, November 1, 2020 11:32 pm ET
by Corn Colonel of Aisle seat
That's not the real Darth
This one sounds mean and unhinged
Bring back the real one
Haiku # 68580, November 1, 2020 11:25 pm ET
by In the vicinity of A turkey fucker
I had a bad thought.
They might make turkey balot.
God, what have we done?

We should have let the Japs finish the job.
Funny that after WWII and the all the genocide, the silly filly flippas still go work the brothels in Japan. No attention to history. It's just forgotten. That happens when you don't even care to read.
Haiku # 68579, November 1, 2020 11:05 pm ET
by blahblahblah Trump Biden Bastard Balls
Stuffing the turkey.
Duct tape up the legs and feet
so she can't scratch you.

You got a pocketful of cranberry sauce, or you been banging turkey's again? Christ almighty boy, at least wipe it off when you're done.
Haiku # 68578, November 1, 2020 10:59 pm ET
by Gobble gobble. of Butterball butchering and packaging plant
You may not hate me,
but I hate your stinky cunt.
Abortions and pills.

Smells like rotting pork.
Toxic shock dementia blood.
Runs in your fam'ly.

I love my small dink.
9mm is huge
for my gerbil girls.
Haiku # 68577, November 1, 2020 10:54 pm ET
by Fake Cath-o-lick my balls. of PetSmart
Cock blade in Se7en.
Amazing fucking movie.
What's inside the box?!
Haiku # 68576, November 1, 2020 10:45 pm ET
by He made me wear that thing. And he told me to fuck her! of And I did! I fucked her. (And she was pretty much fucked.)
Premature E-Jac
Study of the effects of
Daylight Savings Time
Haiku # 68575, November 1, 2020 10:10 pm ET
by May I. Speakwithyourwife of Hole made by Ceiling Cat
There's no place for hate
So remove that foolish codpiece
and show us your dink
Haiku # 68574, November 1, 2020 9:20 pm ET
by I. Don'tevenhateyouforyoursmallpenis of Noticer of Details house
Broadway Sensation
All Penis West Side Story
Starring Darth Shankcock
Haiku # 68572, November 1, 2020 2:28 pm ET
by Natalie Would of So would I
I knew Darth was weird,
But wearing blades on his cock?
That is truly FOWL.
Haiku # 68571, November 1, 2020 11:56 am ET
by Cluck Cluck of Cutting Edge Haiku
I'm in quarantine.
No, it isn't for covid.
I got airborne AIDS.

The cock flew at me.
It was armed with a sharp knife.
But I ducked aside.

The cop opened up.
Sprayed blood all over the place.
Airborne HIV.

Those cock blades are like a 2 inch scalpel. Nothing to fuck around with, I'll tell you. If you're not expert in handling those birds, you better stay the hell back. The cop probably thought he was hot shit and tried to get the bird as evidence. Bad move. "He learned his lesson," is the phrase that comes to mind, but logically doesn't work.

Anyway, my advice to you is that any country that has cockfighting, you should probably stay away from. SE Asia, Mexico, Oklahoma, etc. Don't go to those dangerous, crime infested, poverty shit-holes. Trust me!
Haiku # 68570, November 1, 2020 2:03 am ET
by DW of since it's close to thanksgiving, I think it's time to talk about dingleberry pie.
Comatose poets
Low-key Jonestown Massacre
Party Poopers All

Haiku # 68569, November 1, 2020 1:51 am ET
by Kool-Aid Pitcher of Busting through wall
Hello, is Darth there?
No, he's busy doing math.
Sigh. Hanging up phone.
Haiku # 68568, October 31, 2020 3:48 am ET
by Your friend of Under old willow
Cock Fighting Rooster
killed the local police chief
In the Philippines

Cock Fighting Rooster
had a tiny ankle blade
He was Hard As Fuck
Haiku # 68567, October 31, 2020 3:44 am ET
by Cock Fancier of Cock Fight (They're fighting over me)
Wrap me in the flag
and fuck me for Old Glory!!
USA! Be Best!
Haiku # 68566, October 31, 2020 2:30 am ET
by Betsy Ross' pincushion (cunt) of USA!!
Any live poets
up in this motherfucker?
Or is it just me?
Haiku # 68565, October 31, 2020 2:19 am ET
by Just Me of Up in this motherfucker
Your whole life is just
a near death experience
so get used to it
Haiku # 68564, October 31, 2020 2:14 am ET
by Drunk of Barstool
Young Ivanka Trump
Daddy let me grind on you
Daddy buy me this
Haiku # 68563, October 30, 2020 9:52 pm ET
by Bride Angel of Elektra Complex
Take a dump on Trump.
Drink some Pump(kin) spice Latte.
Forrest Gump's hump clump.

Jennay... here's what love is!
Splat! in her face!
Haiku # 68562, October 30, 2020 9:41 pm ET
by Ivanka wanka Trump hump.
That was a good show
Aunt Esther was a real hoot
Having the Big One?
Haiku # 68561, October 30, 2020 9:30 pm ET
by La-z-boy of Recliner
Haiku # 68560, October 30, 2020 9:26 pm ET
by Hahahahaha of Hahahahahahaha
Chinese communists
Aid and abet Democrats
like Biden and son.
Haiku # 68559, October 30, 2020 8:43 pm ET
by Selling Off of the U.S.A.
Don't bother leaving
a suicide note at all
Let them keep guessing
Haiku # 68558, October 30, 2020 5:11 pm ET
by End of Life Coach of Pep Talk
We won't take your guns
We'll just take all your money
Then you won't need guns
Haiku # 68557, October 30, 2020 2:54 pm ET
by Deep state Jesus
Maximum bullshit
Eating Q crap with a fork
Only four days left
Haiku # 68556, October 30, 2020 2:52 pm ET
by Deep state Jesus
Maximum Psyops:
get ready for the Deep State's
two-party system.
Haiku # 68555, October 30, 2020 1:06 pm ET
by Biden Yer Time to get Trumped
I know it sounds strange
The Barney Miller theme song
makes me want to poop
Haiku # 68554, October 30, 2020 11:30 am ET
by Doo doo doo doo of See ya
reeling in the years
two weeks short of twenty-four
this amazing site
Haiku # 68553, October 30, 2020 6:32 am ET
by ash of persistent contribution
reaming your pumpkin
it's a noble tradition
baby light my fire
Haiku # 68552, October 30, 2020 4:32 am ET
by ash
Butternut squash soup
We can all agree on this
It tastes like vomit
Haiku # 68551, October 30, 2020 3:42 am ET
by Squash Smasher of Where my services are needed
The Mallards migrate
Releasing their dung in flight
Everybody duck
Haiku # 68550, October 30, 2020 3:30 am ET
by Looking up of Shitty Situation
If God didn't want
us to talk about our shit
We'd just have assholes
Haiku # 68549, October 30, 2020 3:24 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
All the poems on this site
are written by GOD
Haiku # 68548, October 30, 2020 3:21 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
let's bidet farewell
scatological reviews
are boring as shit
Haiku # 68547, October 30, 2020 2:06 am ET
by ash
Mega Tootsie Roll
Just in time for Halloween
And there's corn in it
Haiku # 68546, October 30, 2020 1:15 am ET
by Advertisement of Paid Advertisement
Fling it: Darth's poo's large.
I want Darth inside of me.
Go! Poo Humongous!
Haiku # 68545, October 30, 2020 1:04 am ET
by Gonna have to chop this one into pieces to get it to flush.
Sing it: Darth in charge
I want Darth in charge of me
Go, Darth Whorrendous!
Haiku # 68544, October 29, 2020 10:37 pm ET
by What's left of me of You can have it
This is what I do.
When I poo, I poo haiku.
Then throw it at you.

And I do this too,
when writing haiku, it's poo!
Hits the fan and flew.

In lieu of the loo,
under the outhouse will do.
Please enjoy the view.

I've often fantasized about having an outhouse with captive enemies chained under the toilet so I could poo on them and read poetry at them simultaneously.
Oprah, Jerry Springer, Britney Spears, Roseanne, Courtney Love, Hulk Hogan, Bruce Lee's promoter, and every politician on the planet... and some policemen, judges, and criminals as well.
When I get to hell, I know that I will be given a job reading my poetry to sinners. So you better behave yourselves!
Haiku # 68543, October 29, 2020 9:54 pm ET
by Demon Cleaner Bad Poetry and Fecal Spray Gun Service
Walter Wallace: thug.
Got himself ventilated
lunging with a knife.
Haiku # 68542, October 29, 2020 8:37 pm ET
by Thug Lives Do Not Matter
Darth be like: "Bathroom".
Bad Haiku all: "Not dat, yo".
Darth say: "Oh yes y'all."
Haiku # 68541, October 29, 2020 7:42 pm ET
by Discrete Pleasure of Ebonics
Forced monkey labor
We don't want to pick
Fucking coconuts
Haiku # 68540, October 29, 2020 3:40 pm ET
by Poop Flinger of At Large
What's the condition
of your condition down there?
Must have been a strain.
Haiku # 68539, October 29, 2020 2:32 pm ET
by Gallant Knight in search of El Dorado of Where the sun don't shine
It happened just now.
I laid a huge golden egg.
Goldschlager clogger.

The toilet won't flush
this oversized ore nugget.
Think I'll melt it down.
Haiku # 68538, October 29, 2020 2:00 pm ET
by Willy Wanka
Haiku poets like
"My wet ass shit" on pussy.
Candy-ass "itch twat".
Haiku # 68537, October 29, 2020 1:36 pm ET
by Wipe front to back, ladies. of Keep it sanitary.
Cardi B. be like:
"My wet-ass pussy" and shit
Candace like: "Bitch, whut?"
Haiku # 68536, October 29, 2020 5:12 am ET
by Highlights of the Dialog between Two Representatives of their Respective Communities
Hasn't happened yet
But each day I check to see
If I laid an egg
Haiku # 68535, October 29, 2020 2:15 am ET
by Mrs. Al Bumen of Here and there
Sea cucumber squirt.
Cool defense mechanism.
Sponge Bob's Silly-String.

Do you think Sponge Bob
ever got it on with Pearl?
Don't tell Mr. Crabs.
Haiku # 68534, October 28, 2020 11:28 pm ET
by Whale of a Tail. of In a pineapple under the sea.
Not sure I like that.
In hell they pay you for spooge.
There's a huge cum lake.

Every bit helps out.
You know you've done your fair share.
Lent a helping hand.
Haiku # 68533, October 28, 2020 11:08 am ET
by Damned and Doomed of Chuck Palahaniuk
I guess you could say
he blew his whole wad right then
Final expenses
Haiku # 68532, October 28, 2020 9:14 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Looking on
Pennies from Heaven
Darth said, " Hey God, keep the change"
and jerked off some more
Haiku # 68531, October 28, 2020 8:52 am ET
by Penny of Heaven
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