I guess you could say
he blew his whole wad right then
Final expenses

Pennies from Heaven
Darth said, " Hey God, keep the change"
and jerked off some more

How do you pay up?
Do they bury you with a
billfold full of cash?

Do they charge each time?
Or maybe by the sperm cell?
Per spasm or gram?

Cue Monty Python's
Every Sperm is Sacred.
Watch it on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzVHjg3AqIQ

At the end of life
You get an invoice for all
the times you jerked off

Zombie circle jerk.
It's the best smell in the world.
Firm soggy biscuits.

Hors d'oeuvres de la mort.
Gordon Ramsay's a zombie!
And fully erect!

Philadelphia:
That is a real zombie-fest.
The dead are shopping.

When a zombie cums
Do you think they just explode?
Aren't they all gummed up?

Television drool.
It's not like it was murder.
They're dead already.

Cums as no surprise.
Inside a secret toy prize.
Now, dead grandpop, rise.

The good thing about
dead families is now you
can change the channel.

Want some Doritos?
Oh, wait, never mind -- you're dead!
I'll take that beer, thanks.

October surprise
Pumping the kin full of lead
Legit police tape

If you have no "eggs",
you have absentee balot.
Lame duck abortion.

Vinegar and salt.
Donald Trump's Cheetos brand douche.
Day-glo tongue in cheek.

The best douch - so fresh.
Not like the other douches.
They're all just fake cheese!

Back-alley surgeon.
Communist planned parenthood.
Coat wire soul kebab.

I am not voting.
Why when others will for me?
They're educated.

Piss thong lacks penis
Gynecological feet
if fists are too small

I smell pork 'round here.
Shave it and burn off its hair.
You look better bald.

This thing cracks peanuts
Gynecological feat
It spits them out too

"interior defecator" and the bear scat cracked me up... Genius!

Horrendous Figpuck
writes verse that truly does suck.
When he flings it, duck.

Lost my taste for pork.
Swine are hideous and gross.
Worse than my haiku.

But, you know, it's tough.
Shedding the "Figpucker" name.
The thought makes me barf.

Two-legged porcine
wastes of oxygen and time...
And they like "Tik-Tok"!

Stay away from pigs.
Roast only with flame throwers.
The Nippers knew this.

Some of you poets
seem to be constipated
Drop a stew of rhyme

Sure would like to know
Darth's astrological sign
It could explain things

Yes, Darth Figpucker
Human Calculator, Scribe
Easy on the eyes

Heard some nut named "Darth"
Spews bad haiku around here.
Anything to this?

Dairy Trivia
Marlon Brando's shopping list
Don't forget butter!

This grizzly bear scat
has beautiful red berries
Christmas centerpiece

Reaching down your pants
BIG HARD absentee ballot
Won't get lost in mail

I'm always coming.
Reach down my pants for balot.
Save some for grandma.

From the Philippines
Uninvited dinner guest
Says he writes poems

Say, your pubic hair
is a steel wool scouring pad
Clean this pan, will ya?

Did you call my name?
Dug myself up from the grave
Give me some sugar

Injecting Reese's
insulin cocktail mixture
disease cure party.

Strip club trick or treat.
Pin the cock on the donkey.
Lollipop twat show.

We're all wondering
how many licks does it take.
Oh shit, I lost count.

Mister owl, how many doses does it take to get to the center of the universe. Let's find out... one... two... three... Three.

The real Tootsie Roll
When trick or treaters show up
Just throw shit at them

No fucking candy?!
So you got nothing for me?!!?!!
... Here, have a pipe bomb.

Let it fill your soul.
Lucifer will light the way.
Leads you to the truth.

Melt their little minds.
My name is Darth Whorrendous.
I approve this shit.

I got some candy.
LSD infused gummies.
One hundred hits each.

Sorry, no candy
I got no candy for you
Sorry, no candy

It's a Woodland Critter Christmas.
Hail Satan!

First comes Halloween
And then All Saints Day arrives.
Satan is cast out.

I don't think I can take much more of this.
All I want for Christmas is cancer and a nuclear warhead.
Or one very very large asteroid.
Fuck the cookies and eggnog this time.

When he makes flatus
better stand back - he'll splat us,
he of low status.

Those homeless hijinks.
Indigent entertainment
has entertained us.

And entered anus.
Suppose suppositories
could tell their stories.

Rather queer jerky.
Ornithorhynchus road kill.
Duck-billed splatypus.

Bubble wrap condoms
Blap blap blap blap blap blap blap
Blap blap blap blap splat

Covid is a lie.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Discombobulate.

Snuffleupagus
sure sounds an awful lot like
stuff it up your ass.

The living nightmare
You will find it hard to sleep
November the third

Got hot sauce right here:
Ah don't FEEL no ways tired
Of voting for Trump

What did Meatloaf mean?
He said he'd do anything
for love...but not THAT

Snuffalupagus
They sure stink up the toilet
What are they eating?

Are you feeling it?
Have you seen the fucking moon?
I've got a hatchet