Horrendous Figpuck
writes verse that truly does suck.
When he flings it, duck.
by Flinging of Excremental Haiku
Lost my taste for pork.
Swine are hideous and gross.
Worse than my haiku.
But, you know, it's tough.
Shedding the "Figpucker" name.
The thought makes me barf.
Two-legged porcine
wastes of oxygen and time...
And they like "Tik-Tok"!
Stay away from pigs.
Roast only with flame throwers.
The Nippers knew this.
by DW
Some of you poets
seem to be constipated
Drop a stew of rhyme
by Regular Haiku Poet of Under old willow
Sure would like to know
Darth's astrological sign
It could explain things
by Kitten of Starz
Yes, Darth Figpucker
Human Calculator, Scribe
Easy on the eyes
by U. Betterbelieveit of Under old willow
Heard some nut named "Darth"
Spews bad haiku around here.
Anything to this?
by Oink of Heehaw
Dairy Trivia
Marlon Brando's shopping list
Don't forget butter!
by Last Haiku of Paris
This grizzly bear scat
has beautiful red berries
Christmas centerpiece
by Interior Defecator of Alaska
Reaching down your pants
BIG HARD absentee ballot
Won't get lost in mail
by Dump Trump of Lame duck fetus
I'm always coming.
Reach down my pants for balot.
Save some for grandma.
by dw
From the Philippines
Uninvited dinner guest
Says he writes poems
by Ida Bakedacake of If I knew you was coming
Say, your pubic hair
is a steel wool scouring pad
Clean this pan, will ya?
by Demanding of Couch
Did you call my name?
Dug myself up from the grave
Give me some sugar
by Wilfred Brimley of Your Porch
Injecting Reese's
insulin cocktail mixture
disease cure party.
Strip club trick or treat.
Pin the cock on the donkey.
Lollipop twat show.
We're all wondering
how many licks does it take.
Oh shit, I lost count.
Mister owl, how many doses does it take to get to the center of the universe. Let's find out... one... two... three... Three.
by DW
The real Tootsie Roll
When trick or treaters show up
Just throw shit at them
by Brown Torpedoes of Incoming
No fucking candy?!
So you got nothing for me?!!?!!
... Here, have a pipe bomb.
by Now go be with God.
Let it fill your soul.
Lucifer will light the way.
Leads you to the truth.
by Or something.
Melt their little minds.
My name is Darth Whorrendous.
I approve this shit.
by Joe's Psychedelic Day Care
I got some candy.
LSD infused gummies.
One hundred hits each.
by Trip or Treat
Sorry, no candy
I got no candy for you
Sorry, no candy
by Sorry of No Candy
It's a Woodland Critter Christmas.
Hail Satan!
by Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman
First comes Halloween
And then All Saints Day arrives.
Satan is cast out.
by Archangel Michael, Captain of the Armies of Heaven
I don't think I can take much more of this.
All I want for Christmas is cancer and a nuclear warhead.
Or one very very large asteroid.
Fuck the cookies and eggnog this time.
by Please Santa, please, please!
When he makes flatus
better stand back - he'll splat us,
he of low status.
Those homeless hijinks.
Indigent entertainment
has entertained us.
And entered anus.
Suppose suppositories
could tell their stories.
by Oh what would they say?
Rather queer jerky.
Ornithorhynchus road kill.
Duck-billed splatypus.
by Slim Jim of Down Under
Bubble wrap condoms
Blap blap blap blap blap blap blap
Blap blap blap blap splat
by Pig of In a blanket
Covid is a lie.
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
Discombobulate.
by CNN is fake news.
Snuffleupagus
sure sounds an awful lot like
stuff it up your ass.
by Noticer of entrails.
The living nightmare
You will find it hard to sleep
November the third
by Wake Up of Trump Eviction Party
Got hot sauce right here:
Ah don't FEEL no ways tired
Of voting for Trump
by Hillary Harris of Fake Accents
What did Meatloaf mean?
He said he'd do anything
for love...but not THAT
by Fucking wondering of Dashboard light
Snuffalupagus
They sure stink up the toilet
What are they eating?
by Someone you know of Shitty Job
Are you feeling it?
Have you seen the fucking moon?
I've got a hatchet
by Krazy of Moonlight
Your vagina stinks.
In an unnatural way.
Stop eating junk food.
by Paid for by PETA of Pussy Eaters Traveling in Asia
Jellies are brainless.
Same-same as politicians.
President Sponge Bob.
Are ya ready kids?!
Oooohhhh... who live in the White House,
Washington DC?
Sponges, jellies, starfish, sea cucumbers, sea urchins... all sadly brainless. They can't even see their beautiful homes and marvel at their own esistence. So we have to do it for them. Oh, shit, I just came.
by DW
There's not much to tell.
I petted a jellyfish.
No, not in that way.
by DW
Darth speaks in Morse code
Farting out his messages
Blessing us with verse.
by DW: Immortal Poet of Flatulence and Eloquence
Telegram for Darth
Bad Haiku Storytime, please
By special request
by Straykitten of Alley
the clock is ticking
while this big world keeps turning
and like, whatever
by ash
The Chicom Virus
Killed one million people
So far world wide now
Two hundred thousand
Americans have been killed
By the Chicom virus
That's not Trumps doing
But the Communist parties
So don't blame Mr. Trump.
Doctor Li Meng Yan
Has given the west the truth
About Chicom disease.
by Yueh Fei of Middle Kingdom
http://modut.ru/
by domosExpom of Bolivia
Never, and I mean
under no circumstances,
start writing haiku.
by Trust me!
I did the same thing;
I was singing in your head
all day long also.
by I hope you don't mind.
I have been singing
Jesus loves me, this I know
in my head all day.
by Anonymous Poet
No one killed no one.
Covid is a soccer ball
for bacteria.
Syphalis versus
gonorrhea in your balls.
Peanuts, beer, popcorn!
by Best stadium seats.
Sad republicans...
Killed a quarter million
"But Hunters hard drive!"
by Jesus is lard of Ignore the man behind the curtain
The alien glow
side effect of mind control
psychoactive drugs
permeates his skin
intoxicating weak minds
in vicinity.
by the way, of course "WAR IS PEACE - FREEDOM IS SLAVERY - IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH."
Wait, that's incorrect.
It's Easy Melt Velveeta.
There's no real dairy.
His blood test came back
100 % fake cheese.
This is the real news.
I'm so hungry I can eat a wagon wheel!
Bang, bang, bang!
Oh! Howdy Partner! Time for Timer!
Do you ever get that hungry feeling after school?
Boy, I do! I'm so hungry, I could eat a wagon wheel!
When I'm slow on the draw and I need something to chaw,
I hanker for a hunk of cheese!
When my ten gallon hat's a-feelin' five gallons flat
I've got something planned, which is
Little cheese sandwiches! Come on!
Here's a great little snack to tide you over till dinner!
If you want something that's delicious and nutritious,
cheese is a super snack! Look! A wagon wheel!
When my get up and go has got up and went,
I hanker for a hunk of cheese!
When I'm dancin' the hoedown and my boots kinda slow down,
Or anytime I'm week in the knees,
I hanker for a hunk of,
A slab, a slice, a chunk of,
A snack that is a winner,
And yet won't spoil my dinner!
I hanker for a hunk of cheese! Ya-hoo!
Paid for by your local dairy association.
by Timer of (What the hell kind of name is "Timer" and why is he pushing dairy products?)
Trump's plastic surgeon
mistakenly injected
cheddar, not botox
by cuntspiracy theorist
Please check all tractors.
Then crosswalks, bicycles, cars,
and hydrants. OK.
by Haiku Algorithm of Hell