Drinking seawater
Half dead. Hallucinating.
I just fucked an eel
by Zippy of Zodiac Inflatable
Sea urchin or crab?
Platypus or octopus?
Jellyfish or cunt?
by Observer of At Sea
Hate's all that remains.
Attempt to hide w/ a smile.
Soon the damn will burst.
My soul is pure dark.
I now infect the Dark Side.
Feel how it shudders.
by Darth Whorendous
Of course I knew that.
Three bucks dino rides in Hell.
Triceratops rules!
I can read your mind.
No, you can't have sex with them.
Hell ain't Las Vegas!
by dw
Did you know Satan
Genetically engineered
all the dinosaurs?
by Ask Me of Go ahead, ask me
UPS left it
I think it was his wife's head
or an Instant Pot
by Corn Colonel of Aisle seat
That's not the real Darth
This one sounds mean and unhinged
Bring back the real one
by In the vicinity of A turkey fucker
I had a bad thought.
They might make turkey balot.
God, what have we done?
We should have let the Japs finish the job.
Funny that after WWII and the all the genocide, the silly filly flippas still go work the brothels in Japan. No attention to history. It's just forgotten. That happens when you don't even care to read.
by blahblahblah Trump Biden Bastard Balls
Stuffing the turkey.
Duct tape up the legs and feet
so she can't scratch you.
You got a pocketful of cranberry sauce, or you been banging turkey's again? Christ almighty boy, at least wipe it off when you're done.
by Gobble gobble. of Butterball butchering and packaging plant
You may not hate me,
but I hate your stinky cunt.
Abortions and pills.
Smells like rotting pork.
Toxic shock dementia blood.
Runs in your fam'ly.
I love my small dink.
9mm is huge
for my gerbil girls.
by Fake Cath-o-lick my balls. of PetSmart
Cock blade in Se7en.
Amazing fucking movie.
What's inside the box?!
by He made me wear that thing. And he told me to fuck her! of And I did! I fucked her. (And she was pretty much fucked.)
Premature E-Jac
Study of the effects of
Daylight Savings Time
by May I. Speakwithyourwife of Hole made by Ceiling Cat
There's no place for hate
So remove that foolish codpiece
and show us your dink
by I. Don'tevenhateyouforyoursmallpenis of Noticer of Details house
Broadway Sensation
All Penis West Side Story
Starring Darth Shankcock
by Natalie Would of So would I
I knew Darth was weird,
But wearing blades on his cock?
That is truly FOWL.
by Cluck Cluck of Cutting Edge Haiku
I'm in quarantine.
No, it isn't for covid.
I got airborne AIDS.
The cock flew at me.
It was armed with a sharp knife.
But I ducked aside.
The cop opened up.
Sprayed blood all over the place.
Airborne HIV.
Those cock blades are like a 2 inch scalpel. Nothing to fuck around with, I'll tell you. If you're not expert in handling those birds, you better stay the hell back. The cop probably thought he was hot shit and tried to get the bird as evidence. Bad move. "He learned his lesson," is the phrase that comes to mind, but logically doesn't work.
Anyway, my advice to you is that any country that has cockfighting, you should probably stay away from. SE Asia, Mexico, Oklahoma, etc. Don't go to those dangerous, crime infested, poverty shit-holes. Trust me!
by DW of since it's close to thanksgiving, I think it's time to talk about dingleberry pie.
Comatose poets
Low-key Jonestown Massacre
Party Poopers All
I
by Kool-Aid Pitcher of Busting through wall
Hello, is Darth there?
No, he's busy doing math.
Sigh. Hanging up phone.
by Your friend of Under old willow
Cock Fighting Rooster
killed the local police chief
In the Philippines
Cock Fighting Rooster
had a tiny ankle blade
He was Hard As Fuck
by Cock Fancier of Cock Fight (They're fighting over me)
Wrap me in the flag
and fuck me for Old Glory!!
USA! Be Best!
by Betsy Ross' pincushion (cunt) of USA!!
Any live poets
up in this motherfucker?
Or is it just me?
by Just Me of Up in this motherfucker
Your whole life is just
a near death experience
so get used to it
by Drunk of Barstool
Young Ivanka Trump
Daddy let me grind on you
Daddy buy me this
by Bride Angel of Elektra Complex
Take a dump on Trump.
Drink some Pump(kin) spice Latte.
Forrest Gump's hump clump.
Jennay... here's what love is!
Splat! in her face!
by Ivanka wanka Trump hump.
That was a good show
Aunt Esther was a real hoot
Having the Big One?
by La-z-boy of Recliner
Hahahahaha
Hahahahahahaha
Hahahahaha
by Hahahahaha of Hahahahahahaha
Chinese communists
Aid and abet Democrats
like Biden and son.
by Selling Off of the U.S.A.
Don't bother leaving
a suicide note at all
Let them keep guessing
by End of Life Coach of Pep Talk
We won't take your guns
We'll just take all your money
Then you won't need guns
by Deep state Jesus
Maximum bullshit
Eating Q crap with a fork
Only four days left
by Deep state Jesus
Maximum Psyops:
get ready for the Deep State's
two-party system.
by Biden Yer Time to get Trumped
I know it sounds strange
The Barney Miller theme song
makes me want to poop
by Doo doo doo doo of See ya
reeling in the years
two weeks short of twenty-four
this amazing site
by ash of persistent contribution
reaming your pumpkin
it's a noble tradition
baby light my fire
by ash
Butternut squash soup
We can all agree on this
It tastes like vomit
by Squash Smasher of Where my services are needed
The Mallards migrate
Releasing their dung in flight
Everybody duck
by Looking up of Shitty Situation
If God didn't want
us to talk about our shit
We'd just have assholes
by Noticer of Details of Under old willow
Unavoidable
All the poems on this site
are written by GOD
by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
let's bidet farewell
scatological reviews
are boring as shit
by ash
Mega Tootsie Roll
Just in time for Halloween
And there's corn in it
by Advertisement of Paid Advertisement
Fling it: Darth's poo's large.
I want Darth inside of me.
Go! Poo Humongous!
by Gonna have to chop this one into pieces to get it to flush.
Sing it: Darth in charge
I want Darth in charge of me
Go, Darth Whorrendous!
by What's left of me of You can have it
This is what I do.
When I poo, I poo haiku.
Then throw it at you.
And I do this too,
when writing haiku, it's poo!
Hits the fan and flew.
In lieu of the loo,
under the outhouse will do.
Please enjoy the view.
I've often fantasized about having an outhouse with captive enemies chained under the toilet so I could poo on them and read poetry at them simultaneously.
Oprah, Jerry Springer, Britney Spears, Roseanne, Courtney Love, Hulk Hogan, Bruce Lee's promoter, and every politician on the planet... and some policemen, judges, and criminals as well.
When I get to hell, I know that I will be given a job reading my poetry to sinners. So you better behave yourselves!
by Demon Cleaner Bad Poetry and Fecal Spray Gun Service
Walter Wallace: thug.
Got himself ventilated
lunging with a knife.
by Thug Lives Do Not Matter
Darth be like: "Bathroom".
Bad Haiku all: "Not dat, yo".
Darth say: "Oh yes y'all."
by Discrete Pleasure of Ebonics
Forced monkey labor
We don't want to pick
Fucking coconuts
by Poop Flinger of At Large
What's the condition
of your condition down there?
Must have been a strain.
by Gallant Knight in search of El Dorado of Where the sun don't shine
It happened just now.
I laid a huge golden egg.
Goldschlager clogger.
The toilet won't flush
this oversized ore nugget.
Think I'll melt it down.
by Willy Wanka
Haiku poets like
"My wet ass shit" on pussy.
Candy-ass "itch twat".
by Wipe front to back, ladies. of Keep it sanitary.
Cardi B. be like:
"My wet-ass pussy" and shit
Candace like: "Bitch, whut?"
by Highlights of the Dialog between Two Representatives of their Respective Communities