Drinking seawater
Half dead. Hallucinating.
I just fucked an eel

Sea urchin or crab?
Platypus or octopus?
Jellyfish or cunt?

Hate's all that remains.
Attempt to hide w/ a smile.
Soon the damn will burst.

My soul is pure dark.
I now infect the Dark Side.
Feel how it shudders.

Of course I knew that.
Three bucks dino rides in Hell.
Triceratops rules!

I can read your mind.
No, you can't have sex with them.
Hell ain't Las Vegas!

Did you know Satan
Genetically engineered
all the dinosaurs?

UPS left it
I think it was his wife's head
or an Instant Pot

That's not the real Darth
This one sounds mean and unhinged
Bring back the real one

I had a bad thought.
They might make turkey balot.
God, what have we done?

We should have let the Japs finish the job.
Funny that after WWII and the all the genocide, the silly filly flippas still go work the brothels in Japan. No attention to history. It's just forgotten. That happens when you don't even care to read.

Stuffing the turkey.
Duct tape up the legs and feet
so she can't scratch you.

You got a pocketful of cranberry sauce, or you been banging turkey's again? Christ almighty boy, at least wipe it off when you're done.

You may not hate me,
but I hate your stinky cunt.
Abortions and pills.

Smells like rotting pork.
Toxic shock dementia blood.
Runs in your fam'ly.

I love my small dink.
9mm is huge
for my gerbil girls.

Cock blade in Se7en.
Amazing fucking movie.
What's inside the box?!

Premature E-Jac
Study of the effects of
Daylight Savings Time

There's no place for hate
So remove that foolish codpiece
and show us your dink

Broadway Sensation
All Penis West Side Story
Starring Darth Shankcock

I knew Darth was weird,
But wearing blades on his cock?
That is truly FOWL.

I'm in quarantine.
No, it isn't for covid.
I got airborne AIDS.

The cock flew at me.
It was armed with a sharp knife.
But I ducked aside.

The cop opened up.
Sprayed blood all over the place.
Airborne HIV.

Those cock blades are like a 2 inch scalpel. Nothing to fuck around with, I'll tell you. If you're not expert in handling those birds, you better stay the hell back. The cop probably thought he was hot shit and tried to get the bird as evidence. Bad move. "He learned his lesson," is the phrase that comes to mind, but logically doesn't work.

Anyway, my advice to you is that any country that has cockfighting, you should probably stay away from. SE Asia, Mexico, Oklahoma, etc. Don't go to those dangerous, crime infested, poverty shit-holes. Trust me!

Comatose poets
Low-key Jonestown Massacre
Party Poopers All

I

Hello, is Darth there?
No, he's busy doing math.
Sigh. Hanging up phone.

Cock Fighting Rooster
killed the local police chief
In the Philippines

Cock Fighting Rooster
had a tiny ankle blade
He was Hard As Fuck

Wrap me in the flag
and fuck me for Old Glory!!
USA! Be Best!

Any live poets
up in this motherfucker?
Or is it just me?

Your whole life is just
a near death experience
so get used to it

Young Ivanka Trump
Daddy let me grind on you
Daddy buy me this

Take a dump on Trump.
Drink some Pump(kin) spice Latte.
Forrest Gump's hump clump.

Jennay... here's what love is!
Splat! in her face!

That was a good show
Aunt Esther was a real hoot
Having the Big One?

Hahahahaha
Hahahahahahaha
Hahahahaha

Chinese communists
Aid and abet Democrats
like Biden and son.

Don't bother leaving
a suicide note at all
Let them keep guessing

We won't take your guns
We'll just take all your money
Then you won't need guns

Maximum bullshit
Eating Q crap with a fork
Only four days left

Maximum Psyops:
get ready for the Deep State's
two-party system.

I know it sounds strange
The Barney Miller theme song
makes me want to poop

reeling in the years
two weeks short of twenty-four
this amazing site

reaming your pumpkin
it's a noble tradition
baby light my fire

Butternut squash soup
We can all agree on this
It tastes like vomit

The Mallards migrate
Releasing their dung in flight
Everybody duck

If God didn't want
us to talk about our shit
We'd just have assholes

Unavoidable
All the poems on this site
are written by GOD

let's bidet farewell
scatological reviews
are boring as shit

Mega Tootsie Roll
Just in time for Halloween
And there's corn in it

Fling it: Darth's poo's large.
I want Darth inside of me.
Go! Poo Humongous!

Sing it: Darth in charge
I want Darth in charge of me
Go, Darth Whorrendous!

This is what I do.
When I poo, I poo haiku.
Then throw it at you.

And I do this too,
when writing haiku, it's poo!
Hits the fan and flew.

In lieu of the loo,
under the outhouse will do.
Please enjoy the view.

I've often fantasized about having an outhouse with captive enemies chained under the toilet so I could poo on them and read poetry at them simultaneously.
Oprah, Jerry Springer, Britney Spears, Roseanne, Courtney Love, Hulk Hogan, Bruce Lee's promoter, and every politician on the planet... and some policemen, judges, and criminals as well.
When I get to hell, I know that I will be given a job reading my poetry to sinners. So you better behave yourselves!

Walter Wallace: thug.
Got himself ventilated
lunging with a knife.

Darth be like: "Bathroom".
Bad Haiku all: "Not dat, yo".
Darth say: "Oh yes y'all."

Forced monkey labor
We don't want to pick
Fucking coconuts

What's the condition
of your condition down there?
Must have been a strain.

It happened just now.
I laid a huge golden egg.
Goldschlager clogger.

The toilet won't flush
this oversized ore nugget.
Think I'll melt it down.

Haiku poets like
"My wet ass shit" on pussy.
Candy-ass "itch twat".

Cardi B. be like:
"My wet-ass pussy" and shit
Candace like: "Bitch, whut?"