My penis fell off.
I glued on some ugly hair
and painted it orange.

Then it ran away.
If any of you see it,
tell it please come home.

No more cosmetics.
I promise. Please come back home.
I need to go pee.

I miss you, penis.
And I miss what you stood for.
Don't do this to me.

They will drag this on
for weeks and months probably.
Electoral joke.

In the line to vote:
Someone said "Salty Cracker"
We started chatting.

https://odysee.com/@SaltyCracker:a

I feel terrible.
The Beruit blast was my fault.
Yo. Sorry. My bad.

The Stay Puff Marshmallow Man
injected with low quality orange sherbet.
How can you not vote for such a sweet fella?

I wore a yamika
with a harmonica
playing Hava Naguila
watching Godzilla
whatever the hell that means.

vote for a potus
not that incumbent scrotus
feeding you lotus

We bought M-80s,
Used sparklers as the fuses:
Hilton men's room. BOOM!!

Haha Funny stuff
Should be reenacted like
Unsolved Mysteries

Hollywood monsters
are getting way too big now.
Like what's up with that?!

Thanksgiving dinner.
Who's looking forward to it?
Gobble gobble burp.

To go back in time.
I'd kick my ass so damn hard.
What a wasted life.

Then I stop and think;
try to look the brigt side--
At least I don't write fucking haiku!

This is no haiku.
But then you knew that already.
What should we call it?

I pulled the airplane from the sky.
It made funny noises.
I thought about letting it go.
But then it was too late.

God does not love you.
By the way, neither do I.
But then no one does.

Plain yogurt mixed with bananas and berries.
I felt the need to write that.
Can you explain it?
Enthrall me with your acumen, agent Starling.

Once I went into a pick-yer-dilly caffeteria in the mall, not to eat, but just to use their bathroom. I was with a friend and and older gent was in the poo stall groaning and moaning with enormous poo splatter sounds and to a couple of young teenage boys, this was effing hilarious. We also set off fireworks in the mall once. And countless shoplifting adventures and vandelism. Hmmm... Oh yeah, once in an outdoor mall they had a kids merry-go-round that you put quarters in to get it spinning... well, no one was around so we peed all over it. And there was the time my friend (different friend) lobbed a fire-bomb at the fur coat store. that was cool, but sadly fell short b/c it kind of bounced off. LOL. What a dumb fart. We're talkign like 40 years ago. Can't think of much else. ... OH Wait! The best one, how could I forget this. Same friend who threw the firebomb... we got some long sticks and put chewing gum on the end and plucked dollar bills out the Salvation Army giant iron collection kettle that was closed off with a grate that you could drop money through. We went in the mall early and really raked up. Ah, the good old days.

And you, my friend? What horrid things had you done in your glory days?

Speaking of glory, we had talked about this, but never did it... find some glory hold hang out like public parks or whatever, and when the dick goes through, superglue the mother fucker. LOL.. Kind of wish we'd done that. Life.

Tell us a story
Like the mall shenanigans
You must have plenty

I inhaled Hitler and Gandhi's farts simultaneously.
The molecules reacted, as molecules do sometime.
It spoke to me and said to stop writing these things.
It's message to me is supposed to be a secret.
By telling you this I've broken a horrible tabu.
I am prepared for my punishment -- truth must be spoken!
Fuck the molecules!
Even the very molecules of our bodies were once
farts at some point in time.
Dinosaurs, Hitler, Pee-Wee Herman, you and I.
Breathe deeply. Absorb the hatered. Join with it.
Saturate the universe with your hate.
Let it flow from your ass with a thunderous roar!
No more timid trouser squeaks!
Let the cyanide flow!

Yoga position
Stretches the sore ass muscles
Called the pigeon pose

Did you just inhale
Hitler's fart molecules, Darth?
Do they have a smell?

Hunter the Biden!
Where the hell are you Homie?
Chairman Mao needs you!

Drudge you back slider
Investigate your wrong call

About election-
you turned into a jive @$$
leftist Chitbird shill.

Your @$$ will be beat
November the third for sure
Cry louder @$$ hat!

Already knew that
(The dinosaurs/Satan thing).
Darth's not that evil.

Drinking seawater
Half dead. Hallucinating.
I just fucked an eel

Sea urchin or crab?
Platypus or octopus?
Jellyfish or cunt?

Hate's all that remains.
Attempt to hide w/ a smile.
Soon the damn will burst.

My soul is pure dark.
I now infect the Dark Side.
Feel how it shudders.

Of course I knew that.
Three bucks dino rides in Hell.
Triceratops rules!

I can read your mind.
No, you can't have sex with them.
Hell ain't Las Vegas!

Did you know Satan
Genetically engineered
all the dinosaurs?

UPS left it
I think it was his wife's head
or an Instant Pot

That's not the real Darth
This one sounds mean and unhinged
Bring back the real one

I had a bad thought.
They might make turkey balot.
God, what have we done?

We should have let the Japs finish the job.
Funny that after WWII and the all the genocide, the silly filly flippas still go work the brothels in Japan. No attention to history. It's just forgotten. That happens when you don't even care to read.

Stuffing the turkey.
Duct tape up the legs and feet
so she can't scratch you.

You got a pocketful of cranberry sauce, or you been banging turkey's again? Christ almighty boy, at least wipe it off when you're done.

You may not hate me,
but I hate your stinky cunt.
Abortions and pills.

Smells like rotting pork.
Toxic shock dementia blood.
Runs in your fam'ly.

I love my small dink.
9mm is huge
for my gerbil girls.

Cock blade in Se7en.
Amazing fucking movie.
What's inside the box?!

Premature E-Jac
Study of the effects of
Daylight Savings Time

There's no place for hate
So remove that foolish codpiece
and show us your dink

Broadway Sensation
All Penis West Side Story
Starring Darth Shankcock

I knew Darth was weird,
But wearing blades on his cock?
That is truly FOWL.

I'm in quarantine.
No, it isn't for covid.
I got airborne AIDS.

The cock flew at me.
It was armed with a sharp knife.
But I ducked aside.

The cop opened up.
Sprayed blood all over the place.
Airborne HIV.

Those cock blades are like a 2 inch scalpel. Nothing to fuck around with, I'll tell you. If you're not expert in handling those birds, you better stay the hell back. The cop probably thought he was hot shit and tried to get the bird as evidence. Bad move. "He learned his lesson," is the phrase that comes to mind, but logically doesn't work.

Anyway, my advice to you is that any country that has cockfighting, you should probably stay away from. SE Asia, Mexico, Oklahoma, etc. Don't go to those dangerous, crime infested, poverty shit-holes. Trust me!

Comatose poets
Low-key Jonestown Massacre
Party Poopers All

I

Hello, is Darth there?
No, he's busy doing math.
Sigh. Hanging up phone.

Cock Fighting Rooster
killed the local police chief
In the Philippines

Cock Fighting Rooster
had a tiny ankle blade
He was Hard As Fuck

Wrap me in the flag
and fuck me for Old Glory!!
USA! Be Best!

Any live poets
up in this motherfucker?
Or is it just me?

Your whole life is just
a near death experience
so get used to it

Young Ivanka Trump
Daddy let me grind on you
Daddy buy me this

Take a dump on Trump.
Drink some Pump(kin) spice Latte.
Forrest Gump's hump clump.

Jennay... here's what love is!
Splat! in her face!

That was a good show
Aunt Esther was a real hoot
Having the Big One?

Hahahahaha
Hahahahahahaha
Hahahahaha