Noun. funt. A unit of weight: 1 funt = 1 qadaq = 32 lot = 96 mısqal = 409.5 g = 1 pound (archaic)

A funt is a pound!
Shit, I'd like to pound her funt!
That's a funky cunt.

Those teenage hookers
Are very good at crochet.
They can make rugs too.

Haiku layer cake
Seventeen hot syllables
Happy Birthday, Darth

Take your vitamins.
Don't want to have a limp dick,
you silly old man.

Guess how old I am.
Phyically not mentally.
Booger fart poopoo!

Do you like funt cake?
Who put this funt in my cart?
Funt should be a word.

How did you know that?!
But, and I've told you before,
I've stopped fucking pigs!

Just teenage hookers.
Make sure they're not ladyboys.
Those silly Asians.

Did you remember
On this day in November?
Figpucker's Birthday

No conspiracy
Just lack of transparency
(Your emergency)

Breaking wind (and hearts)
Steamy kisses (fragrant farts)
Cupid's arrows (darts)

China lectures us ?
UN is irrelevant !
One World: go to hell.

Elections have rules.
Science is real. No fake votes.
You can kiss my Ash.

A place for pigeons
Make him into a statue
If the coup don't fly

ima gonna stay
you can't make me go away
with illegal votes

Meow, Starkitten here
I like to call it catnip
It makes me purr. Purr ....

Donald Trump's a chump.
He will not concede his seed
in this time of need.

Watching the death count.
It's gotten to be boring.
Can I burn one, please?

I mean the bodies.
Or maybe a joint also.
Burn one then burn one.

To quote Cypress Hill:
I want to get hiiiigh, so high.
Insane in the brain.

Honeymoon Night
Someone call the coroner
The little guy's dead

All these dead bodies.
I can't have sex with them and...
they're inedible!

Covid's not so fun.
Unless it kills enemies.
Then I'll have a laugh.

The President, erect
He stands behind the lectern
Watch it levitate

Cannibalism
It gets so quiet in here
when you mention it

Longpig Turducken
Three corpses shoved together
A true feast of friends

Osturduckenbat.
Like turducken but ostrich
outside, bat inside.

Please God, we need war.
Pandemic redneck shootings.
MAGA mass murders.

Kill the parasites!
Send them to California.'
Or their own countries.

Freaks there, humans here.
Heil motherfucking Trump.
Orange retribution!

Happy Thanksgiving
Lame duck a l'orange this year
Pardon the turkeys

It looks just like Trump.
Cheeto with cotton candy.
Tastes just like him too.

Here, hold THIS hotdog.
Those aren't burn marks -- those are scabs.
Yes, it's mayonaise filled.

4 MORE QUEERS!
4 MORE QUEERS!
4 MORE QUEERS!

The electric chair
Take a load off. Sit down.
Here, hold this hotdog

What was he wearing
under his KKK robes?
A Star Wars costume?!

Are you kidding me?!
Jar Jar motherfucking Binks?!
What the hell -- He's black!

It ain't over yet!
Donald Trump will kick your ass!
Bleeding heart poets!

Ten thousand cheap drones.
Attach dynamite to them.
Take out Democrats.

Those Godless heathens
will burn in the fiery pits.
We'll knock back some beers.

I cast fire spell.
Black neighbors across the street
take 10 damage points.

(8*10^21 atoms)/(6.022*10^23 atom/mol)*(190.23 g/mol)

Come on you Trumpers!
Get out your guns and grenades.
Make America

White... err, I mean Great Again.

I fucked her in an apple orchard
and came in cider.

Inside Darth inside
Darth inside Darth inside Darth
Inside Darth incide

Trump just beginning
Making global Left livid
Election clean-up!

https://odysee.com/@SaltyCracker:a/election-fraud-exposed-reeeeeeee-stream:b

Turduckens are gross.
Fat white trash flesh fantasy.
Fowl insertion feast.

It all goes down here.
Bad Haiku is the battle
for transparency.

it's white as they come
regardless of skin colour
we're all sperm brothers

Garden of long dinks
Here I go gathering nuts
in May. Tra La La.

Stop changing it to garden

Gordon Ramsay's dink
Marinated for 2 days
In Ina Garden's cunt

Like, I'm not gay, but
I'd eat magic dink mushrooms.
And go surf with sharks.

Men die. Get buried.
Up from the ground mushrooms shoot
They look just like dinks

Longpig smorgasbord
I've chewed my fingernails down
as appetizers

Why is it when I
mention canabalism
you fuckers clam up?

We are all just meat.
But I don't want to eat Trump.
I mean, ewww, nasty.

Georgia rednecks eat
gay frog maggot cheese burgers
on a glazed brioche.

Alex Jones' gay frogs.
They taste just like normal frogs.
But they're spicier.

What's the point of having all those
guns if you're not going to use them.
Stupd Proud Boys should be Ashamed!
Stop the Steal there's no free meal.

So how about that cheese w/ maggots in it that those crazy people like to eat, casu marzu. Sardinian goat cheese w/ larvae and it's illegal in some places -- I guess ppl have died from eating it. I mean, that's serioulsy funky. I would probably have to pass on that one, but I've eaten some crazy stuff in my travels. I mean, you know, human flesh is fine, but maggotty cheese... ew. No. Fuck off with that shite. Capisce? Oh, yeah, I forgot, they used to put that in Fear Factor. Crazy show. Anyway.

Grinch or Santa Claus?
Or the infamous Krampus?
Let's put it to vote.