The Pythagorean theorem sure does get old after a while. We need some new exciting theorem like, "Fucking stupid triangles won't get you laid. Only money does that. Grab them by the pussy."
by White House Education Committee of Show us your Titties Committee.
Imagine if Luke Skywalker
ever mistook his light saber
for his Fleshlight.
by OOPS!
Green anal mucus.
Glowing radioactive.
Recharge your cell phone.
by Can you hear me now?
Only through me can
you acheive a power be-
yond any Jedi!
Lets gang bang this girl.
Never mind that she's purple.
And has fourteen legs.
by SciFi Alien Sex of It's Out of This World!
Ash you need some help.
Your Trump Derangement Syndrome
Can be cured (through Trump)
by Ash the Aussie Abo Support Squad
trump's hair has gone white
a merkin supremacist
for a major twat
by ash
Somewhere in the world
Someone is taking a dump
That looks just like tRump
by Cargo pants mafia
Somewhere in the world
someone who looks just like you
is taking a dump
by Someone of Somewhere
happy birthday site
24 years old today
e-geriatric
by ash
Fart out your penis!
You say it's impossible,
but I did it once!
by My superpower!
A new drinking game.
When covid numbers go up
you must take a shot.
Check your country's stats
each and every minute.
Worldmeter dot com.
https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/
Oh shit. I have to have a shot now.
And if the active cases go down that means you have to rush into the bathroom and vomit.
Enjoy!
by Fraternity Paternity Testes Results of Boofing Clorox for Jesus (or Trump -- same same)
No, I was not born.
I was found under a rock.
So my "mom" tells me.
by Darth Whorendous. of Rock-n-Roll!
Drunken particles.
Accelerated neutrons.
Reactor meltdown.
It's Donald Trumps fault.
But at least it's not his fart.
That would be much worse.
by Supercritical participle nipple of Particular particle participating partly in the party
Sigh, oh ye willows.
Hang your boughs in grief and shame:
Darth's mom has birthed him.
by Maternal Afterthoughts of Birther's Remorse
So fun we got funt.
You were so bent you got bunt;
So shunned we were shunt.
by Pissed Participle of Irregular Brewery
Noun. funt. A unit of weight: 1 funt = 1 qadaq = 32 lot = 96 mısqal = 409.5 g = 1 pound (archaic)
A funt is a pound!
Shit, I'd like to pound her funt!
That's a funky cunt.
by dw. Hot candle wax on balls. of how many candles, how many spanks?
Those teenage hookers
Are very good at crochet.
They can make rugs too.
by Textile Sextile of Septimal
Haiku layer cake
Seventeen hot syllables
Happy Birthday, Darth
by Secret Admirer of Under old willow
Take your vitamins.
Don't want to have a limp dick,
you silly old man.
Guess how old I am.
Phyically not mentally.
Booger fart poopoo!
by Ancient teenager
Do you like funt cake?
Who put this funt in my cart?
Funt should be a word.
by Or... maybe it is!
How did you know that?!
But, and I've told you before,
I've stopped fucking pigs!
Just teenage hookers.
Make sure they're not ladyboys.
Those silly Asians.
by Darth WHORENDOUS! of Picking out Scorpio birthday cake.
Did you remember
On this day in November?
Figpucker's Birthday
by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
No conspiracy
Just lack of transparency
(Your emergency)
by Forensics of Polemics
Breaking wind (and hearts)
Steamy kisses (fragrant farts)
Cupid's arrows (darts)
by Gassanova
China lectures us ?
UN is irrelevant !
One World: go to hell.
by Borders Language Culture
Elections have rules.
Science is real. No fake votes.
You can kiss my Ash.
by So-Called Journalist of New York Times For Lying
A place for pigeons
Make him into a statue
If the coup don't fly
by Thinker of On the can
ima gonna stay
you can't make me go away
with illegal votes
by ash of in my safe place
Meow, Starkitten here
I like to call it catnip
It makes me purr. Purr ....
by Starkitten of Paw in the catnip
Donald Trump's a chump.
He will not concede his seed
in this time of need.
Watching the death count.
It's gotten to be boring.
Can I burn one, please?
I mean the bodies.
Or maybe a joint also.
Burn one then burn one.
To quote Cypress Hill:
I want to get hiiiigh, so high.
Insane in the brain.
by Love those silly gangster rappers. of And candy bar wrappers.
Honeymoon Night
Someone call the coroner
The little guy's dead
by Disappointed of Heart Shaped Bed
All these dead bodies.
I can't have sex with them and...
they're inedible!
Covid's not so fun.
Unless it kills enemies.
Then I'll have a laugh.
by millions upon millions of of corpses all going to waste :-(
The President, erect
He stands behind the lectern
Watch it levitate
by Noticer of Details of Wearing a tarp like at a Gallagher performance
Cannibalism
It gets so quiet in here
when you mention it
by Hungry of Come out so I can eat you
Longpig Turducken
Three corpses shoved together
A true feast of friends
by I'll be there for you of 'Cause you're there for me too
Osturduckenbat.
Like turducken but ostrich
outside, bat inside.
by Ozzy Osbourne of Gordon Ramsay at my house for Thanksgiving dinner this year.
Please God, we need war.
Pandemic redneck shootings.
MAGA mass murders.
Kill the parasites!
Send them to California.'
Or their own countries.
Freaks there, humans here.
Heil motherfucking Trump.
Orange retribution!
by Red bullet proof baseball cap. of Kevlar. 3 full auto rifles.
Happy Thanksgiving
Lame duck a l'orange this year
Pardon the turkeys
by Carcass Tosser of White House Lawn
It looks just like Trump.
Cheeto with cotton candy.
Tastes just like him too.
by Homeless child of New York City
Here, hold THIS hotdog.
Those aren't burn marks -- those are scabs.
Yes, it's mayonaise filled.
by Oops! Did it squirt your eye?
4 MORE QUEERS!
4 MORE QUEERS!
4 MORE QUEERS!
by American Tourist of Pattaya Thailand
The electric chair
Take a load off. Sit down.
Here, hold this hotdog
by Frank Burns of Weiner Roast
What was he wearing
under his KKK robes?
A Star Wars costume?!
Are you kidding me?!
Jar Jar motherfucking Binks?!
What the hell -- He's black!
by Messa got big-ol' boner! of (Meesa sometimes pretend.)
It ain't over yet!
Donald Trump will kick your ass!
Bleeding heart poets!
by Stop the Squeal of Proud Ladyboys
Ten thousand cheap drones.
Attach dynamite to them.
Take out Democrats.
Those Godless heathens
will burn in the fiery pits.
We'll knock back some beers.
by Proud Boys! of White Flour! White Flour! White Flour!
I cast fire spell.
Black neighbors across the street
take 10 damage points.
by Grand Wizard rolling dice. of Stealing their fried chicken tho!
(8*10^21 atoms)/(6.022*10^23 atom/mol)*(190.23 g/mol)
by 2.53 g of Ozzy Osbournium
Come on you Trumpers!
Get out your guns and grenades.
Make America
White... err, I mean Great Again.
by Grand Wizard of Dungeons & Dragons
I fucked her in an apple orchard
and came in cider.
by Bo, yo!
Inside Darth inside
Darth inside Darth inside Darth
Inside Darth incide
by Rushing Doll of Shelf
