BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
63 Days
69622 Haikus
Green anal mucus.
Glowing radioactive.
Recharge your cell phone.
Haiku #68747, by Can you hear me now?
November 13, 2020 12:03 pm ET

Only through me can
you acheive a power be-
yond any Jedi!

Lets gang bang this girl.
Never mind that she's purple.
And has fourteen legs.
Haiku #68746, by SciFi Alien Sex of It's Out of This World!
November 13, 2020 11:51 am ET

Ash you need some help.
Your Trump Derangement Syndrome
Can be cured (through Trump)
Haiku #68745, by Ash the Aussie Abo Support Squad
November 13, 2020 11:14 am ET

trump's hair has gone white
a merkin supremacist
for a major twat
Haiku #68744, by ash
November 13, 2020 8:05 am ET

Somewhere in the world
Someone is taking a dump
That looks just like tRump
Haiku #68743, by Cargo pants mafia
November 13, 2020 7:07 am ET

Somewhere in the world
someone who looks just like you
is taking a dump
Haiku #68742, by Someone of Somewhere
November 13, 2020 5:58 am ET

happy birthday site
24 years old today
Haiku #68741, by ash
November 13, 2020 3:02 am ET

Fart out your penis!
You say it's impossible,
but I did it once!
Haiku #68740, by My superpower!
November 12, 2020 11:25 pm ET

A new drinking game.
When covid numbers go up
you must take a shot.

Check your country's stats
each and every minute.
Worldmeter dot com.

Oh shit. I have to have a shot now.

And if the active cases go down that means you have to rush into the bathroom and vomit.

Haiku #68739, by Fraternity Paternity Testes Results of Boofing Clorox for Jesus (or Trump -- same same)
November 12, 2020 11:23 pm ET

No, I was not born.
I was found under a rock.
So my "mom" tells me.
Haiku #68738, by Darth Whorendous. of Rock-n-Roll!
November 12, 2020 9:37 pm ET

Drunken particles.
Accelerated neutrons.
Reactor meltdown.

It's Donald Trumps fault.
But at least it's not his fart.
That would be much worse.
Haiku #68737, by Supercritical participle nipple of Particular particle participating partly in the party
November 12, 2020 9:35 pm ET

Sigh, oh ye willows.
Hang your boughs in grief and shame:
Darth's mom has birthed him.
Haiku #68736, by Maternal Afterthoughts of Birther's Remorse
November 12, 2020 9:32 pm ET

So fun we got funt.
You were so bent you got bunt;
So shunned we were shunt.
Haiku #68735, by Pissed Participle of Irregular Brewery
November 12, 2020 9:28 pm ET

Noun. funt. A unit of weight: 1 funt = 1 qadaq = 32 lot = 96 mısqal = 409.5 g = 1 pound (archaic)

A funt is a pound!
Shit, I'd like to pound her funt!
That's a funky cunt.
Haiku #68734, by dw. Hot candle wax on balls. of how many candles, how many spanks?
November 12, 2020 9:20 pm ET

Those teenage hookers
Are very good at crochet.
They can make rugs too.
Haiku #68733, by Textile Sextile of Septimal
November 12, 2020 9:19 pm ET

Haiku layer cake
Seventeen hot syllables
Happy Birthday, Darth
Haiku #68732, by Secret Admirer of Under old willow
November 12, 2020 9:19 pm ET

Take your vitamins.
Don't want to have a limp dick,
you silly old man.

Guess how old I am.
Phyically not mentally.
Booger fart poopoo!
Haiku #68731, by Ancient teenager
November 12, 2020 9:15 pm ET

Do you like funt cake?
Who put this funt in my cart?
Funt should be a word.
Haiku #68730, by Or... maybe it is!
November 12, 2020 9:12 pm ET

How did you know that?!
But, and I've told you before,
I've stopped fucking pigs!

Just teenage hookers.
Make sure they're not ladyboys.
Those silly Asians.
Haiku #68729, by Darth WHORENDOUS! of Picking out Scorpio birthday cake.
November 12, 2020 8:54 pm ET

Did you remember
On this day in November?
Figpucker's Birthday
Haiku #68728, by Noticer of Details of Haiku Central
November 12, 2020 6:51 pm ET

No conspiracy
Just lack of transparency
(Your emergency)
Haiku #68727, by Forensics of Polemics
November 12, 2020 5:18 am ET

Breaking wind (and hearts)
Steamy kisses (fragrant farts)
Cupid's arrows (darts)
Haiku #68726, by Gassanova
November 12, 2020 5:14 am ET

China lectures us ?
UN is irrelevant !
One World: go to hell.
Haiku #68725, by Borders Language Culture
November 12, 2020 5:02 am ET

Elections have rules.
Science is real. No fake votes.
You can kiss my Ash.
Haiku #68724, by So-Called Journalist of New York Times For Lying
November 12, 2020 4:56 am ET

A place for pigeons
Make him into a statue
If the coup don't fly
Haiku #68723, by Thinker of On the can
November 11, 2020 11:03 pm ET

ima gonna stay
you can't make me go away
with illegal votes
Haiku #68722, by ash of in my safe place
November 11, 2020 10:44 pm ET

Meow, Starkitten here
I like to call it catnip
It makes me purr. Purr ....
Haiku #68721, by Starkitten of Paw in the catnip
November 11, 2020 10:04 pm ET

Donald Trump's a chump.
He will not concede his seed
in this time of need.

Watching the death count.
It's gotten to be boring.
Can I burn one, please?

I mean the bodies.
Or maybe a joint also.
Burn one then burn one.

To quote Cypress Hill:
I want to get hiiiigh, so high.
Insane in the brain.
Haiku #68720, by Love those silly gangster rappers. of And candy bar wrappers.
November 11, 2020 9:42 pm ET

Honeymoon Night
Someone call the coroner
The little guy's dead
Haiku #68719, by Disappointed of Heart Shaped Bed
November 11, 2020 7:55 pm ET

All these dead bodies.
I can't have sex with them and...
they're inedible!

Covid's not so fun.
Unless it kills enemies.
Then I'll have a laugh.
Haiku #68718, by millions upon millions of of corpses all going to waste :-(
November 11, 2020 7:50 pm ET

The President, erect
He stands behind the lectern
Watch it levitate
Haiku #68717, by Noticer of Details of Wearing a tarp like at a Gallagher performance
November 11, 2020 3:54 pm ET

It gets so quiet in here
when you mention it
Haiku #68716, by Hungry of Come out so I can eat you
November 11, 2020 3:35 pm ET

Longpig Turducken
Three corpses shoved together
A true feast of friends
Haiku #68715, by I'll be there for you of 'Cause you're there for me too
November 11, 2020 5:26 am ET

Like turducken but ostrich
outside, bat inside.
Haiku #68714, by Ozzy Osbourne of Gordon Ramsay at my house for Thanksgiving dinner this year.
November 11, 2020 2:57 am ET

Please God, we need war.
Pandemic redneck shootings.
MAGA mass murders.

Kill the parasites!
Send them to California.'
Or their own countries.

Freaks there, humans here.
Heil motherfucking Trump.
Orange retribution!
Haiku #68713, by Red bullet proof baseball cap. of Kevlar. 3 full auto rifles.
November 11, 2020 2:51 am ET

Happy Thanksgiving
Lame duck a l'orange this year
Pardon the turkeys
Haiku #68712, by Carcass Tosser of White House Lawn
November 11, 2020 2:46 am ET

It looks just like Trump.
Cheeto with cotton candy.
Tastes just like him too.
Haiku #68711, by Homeless child of New York City
November 11, 2020 2:41 am ET

Here, hold THIS hotdog.
Those aren't burn marks -- those are scabs.
Yes, it's mayonaise filled.
Haiku #68710, by Oops! Did it squirt your eye?
November 11, 2020 2:39 am ET

Haiku #68709, by American Tourist of Pattaya Thailand
November 11, 2020 2:36 am ET

The electric chair
Take a load off. Sit down.
Here, hold this hotdog
Haiku #68708, by Frank Burns of Weiner Roast
November 11, 2020 2:03 am ET

What was he wearing
under his KKK robes?
A Star Wars costume?!

Are you kidding me?!
Jar Jar motherfucking Binks?!
What the hell -- He's black!
Haiku #68707, by Messa got big-ol' boner! of (Meesa sometimes pretend.)
November 10, 2020 10:31 pm ET

It ain't over yet!
Donald Trump will kick your ass!
Bleeding heart poets!
Haiku #68706, by Stop the Squeal of Proud Ladyboys
November 10, 2020 10:26 pm ET

Ten thousand cheap drones.
Attach dynamite to them.
Take out Democrats.

Those Godless heathens
will burn in the fiery pits.
We'll knock back some beers.
Haiku #68705, by Proud Boys! of White Flour! White Flour! White Flour!
November 10, 2020 5:47 pm ET

I cast fire spell.
Black neighbors across the street
take 10 damage points.
Haiku #68704, by Grand Wizard rolling dice. of Stealing their fried chicken tho!
November 10, 2020 5:25 pm ET

(8*10^21 atoms)/(6.022*10^23 atom/mol)*(190.23 g/mol)
Haiku #68703, by 2.53 g of Ozzy Osbournium
November 10, 2020 5:19 pm ET

Come on you Trumpers!
Get out your guns and grenades.
Make America

White... err, I mean Great Again.
Haiku #68702, by Grand Wizard of Dungeons & Dragons
November 10, 2020 5:15 pm ET

I fucked her in an apple orchard
and came in cider.
Haiku #68701, by Bo, yo!
November 10, 2020 5:04 pm ET

Inside Darth inside
Darth inside Darth inside Darth
Inside Darth incide
Haiku #68700, by Rushing Doll of Shelf
November 10, 2020 3:00 pm ET

Trump just beginning
Making global Left livid
Election clean-up!
Haiku #68699, by Dishonest Dems of Too Far Too Fast
November 10, 2020 1:36 pm ET

Turduckens are gross.
Fat white trash flesh fantasy.
Fowl insertion feast.
Haiku #68698, by Keep it basic. of Stuff it with stuffing, not a bird inside a bird inside a bird... They ain't Russian dolls!
November 10, 2020 12:49 pm ET