Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 152 Days and 77033 Haiku later...

Cock in your icebox?
Waste refrigerator space.
Beijing duck better.
Haiku # 67454, May 3, 2020 9:47 am ET
by Wet Market Wet Hen of Wuhan Fowl Research Lab
Ho. Useless eaters
Scribbling useless haiku verse.
We monitor you.
Haiku # 67453, May 3, 2020 9:43 am ET
by WeChat Extension Software of Wuhan Virology Institute
I have a huge cock...
in the refrigerator.
It was the postman's.
Haiku # 67452, May 3, 2020 6:04 am ET
by dw of When will you be coming over for dinner?
My dink smells funny.
That's because it has a nose.
Watch it snort some meth.
Haiku # 67451, May 3, 2020 4:30 am ET
by dw of I think I have covid, but maybe it's a hangover.
A poison drug think about it
Preserve your person
Haiku # 67450, May 3, 2020 12:34 am ET
by Floxed of hurting status
A bad addiction.
Counting those damn syllables.
At least it's not meth.
Haiku # 67449, May 2, 2020 10:02 pm ET
by dw of Maybe meth would be better.
if something did end
all this i'd be embarassed
badly, then it's done...

i would go for a while and check back
Haiku # 67448, May 2, 2020 4:14 pm ET
by vhs
aw who am i fooling
but myself, dog to puke
run and lap it up
Haiku # 67447, May 2, 2020 4:48 am ET
by vhs
i think youve pissed me
off enough to wrap this place
up so i get this

shit off my mind now
Haiku # 67446, May 1, 2020 11:49 pm ET
by vhs
fine, fine ya gone and
done it youse mugs done drove me
offa this here site
Haiku # 67445, May 1, 2020 11:37 pm ET
by vhs
hey, it woiks for me
bub, if ya cant keep up, play
some solataire...yeeh..
Haiku # 67444, May 1, 2020 11:34 pm ET
by vhs
VHS you sap:
You overthink EVERYTHING.
Let go and let God.
Haiku # 67443, May 1, 2020 5:23 pm ET
by For Your Own Good
relentless is the
bulge in the neck of time, gen
why asks why is this?
Haiku # 67442, May 1, 2020 4:28 pm ET
by vhs
is it raining out?
will it snow this month, gee me
thinks it just might so
Haiku # 67441, May 1, 2020 12:51 pm ET
by vhs
mhmm, maybe i
will just get r absent minded
one day and not care
Haiku # 67440, April 30, 2020 10:54 pm ET
by vhs
The time of Man, done.
Endless ages of Haiku
shall roll on, brothers.
Haiku # 67439, April 30, 2020 1:37 pm ET
by Shining Beams from Heavens of Haiku
Buddha will not save.
Nor your gods. Nor Your idols.
Haiku shall judge you.
Haiku # 67438, April 30, 2020 1:27 pm ET
by Raised Flashing Blade of Haiku
And then, as they flee,
Slay them all without mercy
until Haiku reigns.
Haiku # 67437, April 30, 2020 1:20 pm ET
by Genocide of Haiku-based Compassion
After the signal,
Trap them within the Haiku
Then set fire to it.
Haiku # 67436, April 30, 2020 1:18 pm ET
by Seven Samurai of Bad Haiku
Time is short, brothers.
Haiku cries out for REVENGE.
The blade thirsts for blood.
Haiku # 67435, April 30, 2020 1:14 pm ET
by Victims of Haiku Massacre
My haiku brethren;
Do not quarrel over it.
Unite and SLAY them.
Haiku # 67434, April 30, 2020 1:07 pm ET
by Militant Haiku of Blood Vengeance
I think I must leave.
So that vhs will not.
He wants me to die.
Haiku # 67433, April 30, 2020 12:30 pm ET
by dw of Maybe he is right.
mister president
beware covfefe nineteen
it's fake novelty
Haiku # 67432, April 30, 2020 2:08 am ET
by ash
strange reactions just
keep reacting to the place
till i finally
Haiku # 67431, April 29, 2020 7:09 pm ET
by vhs
"Befrazzled": strange word.
Using this term makes you sound
very befrazzled.
Haiku # 67430, April 29, 2020 2:18 pm ET
by Don't Worry Be Frazzled
well if i am too
befrazzled i might decide
to leave here for good!
Haiku # 67429, April 29, 2020 2:10 pm ET
by vhs
Is your penis small?
Then why so competitive?
Just enjoy your life.
Haiku # 67428, April 29, 2020 6:35 am ET
by Eccentrica Gallumbits
Ima smoke yo' ass!
What I said to a half ounce.
Damn was I stupid.
Haiku # 67427, April 29, 2020 6:33 am ET
by Darth Whorendous
I'ma SMOKE yo ass.
Y'all caint even WRITE haiku.
DAMN. Weak-ass poets...
Haiku # 67426, April 29, 2020 5:13 am ET
by Anonymous Tyrone of Literary Endeavor
somehow it became
one of those bumper sticker
posting contests here
Haiku # 67425, April 28, 2020 6:17 pm ET
by vhs
tis a bit behind
the screen, the scenes, big deal we
are in trouble now
Haiku # 67424, April 28, 2020 3:53 pm ET
by vhs
Is this a contest
To see who is the dumbest?
You all are winning!
Haiku # 67423, April 28, 2020 11:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You all are stupid
Stay safe come at me
I'd kick your weak ass
Haiku # 67422, April 28, 2020 11:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
whos a nazi, whos a
soup nazi, get back in line!
no soup for you, nein
Haiku # 67421, April 27, 2020 4:45 pm ET
by vhs
Darth LOVES Melania.
He sent her a Balut egg
for this year's present.
Haiku # 67420, April 27, 2020 1:17 pm ET
by Secret Admirer of Melania Trump
Dear Melania:
Have a wonderful birthday.
Don't believe Fake News.
Haiku # 67419, April 27, 2020 11:57 am ET
by Czech our First Lady out
After the lockdown
if anyone says "Stay safe,"
I will punch their face!
Haiku # 67418, April 27, 2020 12:04 am ET
by dw of Promise!
The coronoa cure.
Jesus and boofing Clorox.
Salvation and safe.
Haiku # 67417, April 26, 2020 8:27 pm ET
by dw of Prescribed by Dr. Donald Trump
So are you asking
if she knew you biblically
Or what, exactly...

Or perhaps you mean
Until she met you she was
Not a Hockey "Mom" (?)
Haiku # 67416, April 26, 2020 5:45 pm ET
by Hockey Mom Support of Downeast
i wonder if i
know a certain hockey mom
that knew me sometime
Haiku # 67415, April 25, 2020 10:28 pm ET
by vhs
i decided to
check my feed to see what new
posts were on
Haiku # 67414, April 25, 2020 9:07 pm ET
by vhs
oh my maine on maine
quite insane, I'm paranoid
so what's new there now?
Haiku # 67413, April 25, 2020 8:58 pm ET
by vhs
I am back again
after being busy with
life outside haiku
Haiku # 67412, April 25, 2020 7:36 am ET
by Oedipa of not the same town as vhs
Stupid President
Wants us to inject Lysol
He was NOT joking
Haiku # 67411, April 25, 2020 6:57 am ET
by Stupid is as stupid does.....
I'm turning into
a redneck according to
certain, um, thingies

(the pronoun usually is "they"
but there is only one of them)
Haiku # 67410, April 24, 2020 2:47 pm ET
by vhs
I smelled the hatpussy
beast on tinder, her hat smells
like her pussy, but worse.
Haiku # 67409, April 24, 2020 2:40 am ET
i saw the pussyhat
beast on twitter, smug face of
a movement constipated
Haiku # 67408, April 23, 2020 7:57 pm ET
by vhs
this is a post modern
haiku which means it's just
the same as the last
Haiku # 67407, April 23, 2020 6:30 pm ET
by vhs
And now, at long last
I write the Final Haiku.
Thus ends the verse form.
Haiku # 67406, April 23, 2020 2:57 pm ET
by After Me, the Deluge of wink wink
boredom means what then
does life suck then you get less
bored, are they boring?
Haiku # 67405, April 23, 2020 2:23 pm ET
by vhs
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