Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 254 Days and 71038 Haikus later...

strange reactions just
keep reacting to the place
till i finally
Haiku # 67431, April 29, 2020 7:09 pm ET
by vhs
"Befrazzled": strange word.
Using this term makes you sound
very befrazzled.
Haiku # 67430, April 29, 2020 2:18 pm ET
by Don't Worry Be Frazzled
well if i am too
befrazzled i might decide
to leave here for good!
Haiku # 67429, April 29, 2020 2:10 pm ET
by vhs
Is your penis small?
Then why so competitive?
Just enjoy your life.
Haiku # 67428, April 29, 2020 6:35 am ET
by Eccentrica Gallumbits
Ima smoke yo' ass!
What I said to a half ounce.
Damn was I stupid.
Haiku # 67427, April 29, 2020 6:33 am ET
by Darth Whorendous
I'ma SMOKE yo ass.
Y'all caint even WRITE haiku.
DAMN. Weak-ass poets...
Haiku # 67426, April 29, 2020 5:13 am ET
by Anonymous Tyrone of Literary Endeavor
somehow it became
one of those bumper sticker
posting contests here
Haiku # 67425, April 28, 2020 6:17 pm ET
by vhs
tis a bit behind
the screen, the scenes, big deal we
are in trouble now
Haiku # 67424, April 28, 2020 3:53 pm ET
by vhs
Is this a contest
To see who is the dumbest?
You all are winning!
Haiku # 67423, April 28, 2020 11:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You all are stupid
Stay safe bro...now come at me
I'd kick your weak ass
Haiku # 67422, April 28, 2020 11:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
whos a nazi, whos a
soup nazi, get back in line!
no soup for you, nein
Haiku # 67421, April 27, 2020 4:45 pm ET
by vhs
Darth LOVES Melania.
He sent her a Balut egg
for this year's present.
Haiku # 67420, April 27, 2020 1:17 pm ET
by Secret Admirer of Melania Trump
Dear Melania:
Have a wonderful birthday.
Don't believe Fake News.
Haiku # 67419, April 27, 2020 11:57 am ET
by Czech our First Lady out
After the lockdown
if anyone says "Stay safe,"
I will punch their face!
Haiku # 67418, April 27, 2020 12:04 am ET
by dw of Promise!
The coronoa cure.
Jesus and boofing Clorox.
Salvation and safe.
Haiku # 67417, April 26, 2020 8:27 pm ET
by dw of Prescribed by Dr. Donald Trump
So are you asking
if she knew you biblically
Or what, exactly...

Or perhaps you mean
Until she met you she was
Not a Hockey "Mom" (?)
Haiku # 67416, April 26, 2020 5:45 pm ET
by Hockey Mom Support of Downeast
i wonder if i
know a certain hockey mom
that knew me sometime
Haiku # 67415, April 25, 2020 10:28 pm ET
by vhs
i decided to
check my feed to see what new
posts were on line....off...
Haiku # 67414, April 25, 2020 9:07 pm ET
by vhs
oh my maine on maine
quite insane, I'm paranoid
so what's new there now?
Haiku # 67413, April 25, 2020 8:58 pm ET
by vhs
I am back again
after being busy with
life outside haiku
Haiku # 67412, April 25, 2020 7:36 am ET
by Oedipa of not the same town as vhs
Stupid President
Wants us to inject Lysol
He was NOT joking
Haiku # 67411, April 25, 2020 6:57 am ET
by Stupid is as stupid does.....
I'm turning into
a redneck according to
certain, um, thingies

(the pronoun usually is "they"
but there is only one of them)
Haiku # 67410, April 24, 2020 2:47 pm ET
by vhs
I smelled the hatpussy
beast on tinder, her hat smells
like her pussy, but worse.
Haiku # 67409, April 24, 2020 2:40 am ET
by
i saw the pussyhat
beast on twitter, smug face of
a movement constipated
Haiku # 67408, April 23, 2020 7:57 pm ET
by vhs
this is a post modern
haiku which means it's just
the same as the last
Haiku # 67407, April 23, 2020 6:30 pm ET
by vhs
And now, at long last
I write the Final Haiku.
Thus ends the verse form.
Haiku # 67406, April 23, 2020 2:57 pm ET
by After Me, the Deluge of wink wink
boredom means what then
does life suck then you get less
bored, are they boring?
Haiku # 67405, April 23, 2020 2:23 pm ET
by vhs
adrenochrome, soy
soylent green? soyboys? mass
censorship, nothing to see
Haiku # 67404, April 23, 2020 12:56 pm ET
by vhs
What are you saying?
Slim Jim's is made of people?
I did not know that
Haiku # 67403, April 23, 2020 12:00 pm ET
by Professor Poopypants
ironic, i have known
you for years and it is as
i have foreseen...wow
Haiku # 67402, April 23, 2020 10:19 am ET
by vhs
i went to bed, and
had an issue on twitter
with someone i should forget
Haiku # 67401, April 23, 2020 10:18 am ET
by vhs
Why aren't you writing?
I need to know your alive.
And not cannibalized by mutant redneck neighbors kind of like in The Hill Have Eyes.

2000 ppl per day... Christ have mercy.
That's a lot of Slim Jim extra spicy sausage stix.
Haiku # 67400, April 23, 2020 3:51 am ET
by dw of Anyone care for a bit of Soylent Green. Don't ask how, but I got some extra rations this week.
King Tut's butt
and the sphinx's sphincter
split open by Isis's strap-on.

Isis being the goddess,
Not the terrorist organization.
Hmmm.... However...
Haiku # 67399, April 23, 2020 3:46 am ET
by dw of I stopped counting... oooooo what a rebel I am!
Mars is beautiful.
That's because no one lives there.
And no one dies there.
Haiku # 67398, April 23, 2020 3:44 am ET
by dw of Hey look! A rock!
It's an ugly world.
I could have done much better.
Can we impeach God?
Haiku # 67397, April 23, 2020 3:07 am ET
by dw of I'm serious!
mood swings back and forth
madness of crowds go home now
ran out of witches
Haiku # 67396, April 22, 2020 2:21 pm ET
by vhs
Darth went to Egypt
to see all the ancient sights.
He saw the Sphincter.
Haiku # 67395, April 22, 2020 10:57 am ET
by Hanging Out of Egypt
The preacher told them
Ignore science, come to church
Now....preacher is dead
Haiku # 67394, April 22, 2020 6:49 am ET
by This really happened of Karma is a bitch
Nanny-state told them:
"Virus! Be scared and helpless"
Like sheep, they obeyed.
Haiku # 67393, April 22, 2020 3:48 am ET
by Nanny Nanny Boo-Boo of Abusive Mother
Lockdown Diary:
Day number ... 50? 60?
I haven't a clue
Haiku # 67392, April 21, 2020 8:36 pm ET
by Getting tired of being stuck indoors
My Dick was so big
That they tried to impeach him.
But then he resigned.
Haiku # 67391, April 21, 2020 3:09 pm ET
by Pat Nixon of 1970's
my dick is small so
since i dont care about that leme tell you how small
Haiku # 67390, April 21, 2020 1:18 pm ET
by vhs
When your dick is small:
"My yacht's bigger than your yacht."
Always gotta prove.

You know you're old when
your sphincter hangs down below
the tip of your cock.

Can't you just smell it.
Close your eyes and imagine.
Psychic scent transfered.
Haiku # 67389, April 21, 2020 1:27 am ET
by dw of geriatric physician's office.
how about i sink
your yacht, wwg1wga
enemy combatant
Haiku # 67388, April 20, 2020 10:49 pm ET
by vhs
Hey, I like your style...
Fancy a trip on my yacht?
Feed you to the sharks
Haiku # 67387, April 20, 2020 10:41 pm ET
by Operations Manager of Scandinavia
Waiting for the worms.
That is how I feel right now.
Covid will kill me.

How's irrelevant.
By pneumonia or boredom.
Which one will be worse?
Haiku # 67386, April 20, 2020 8:53 pm ET
by Darth Whorrendous, The Dork Lard of the Fifth of Rum of Going to find a whore today. Going to fuck her 3 hours straight. I hope she has a bad cough.
listen if you shag
a tree or a apple pie
splinters or burn...

And i thought it was creepy
of the guy in American Beauty
Haiku # 67385, April 20, 2020 3:02 pm ET
by vhs
well i don't know why
people make a big deal on
bills but they're just there
Haiku # 67384, April 20, 2020 12:07 pm ET
by vhs of hillarys bill wasn't that big :).
Tiny fucked a stump.
You don't know who Tiny is?
Well aren't you special.
Haiku # 67383, April 20, 2020 8:44 am ET
by dw
You can't cure stupid
And you can't quarantine it
God bless 'merica
Haiku # 67382, April 19, 2020 11:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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