BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
22 Days
68993 Haikus
Darth went to Egypt
to see all the ancient sights.
He saw the Sphincter.
Haiku #67395, by Hanging Out of Egypt
April 22, 2020 10:57 am ET

The preacher told them
Ignore science, come to church
Now....preacher is dead
Haiku #67394, by This really happened of Karma is a bitch
April 22, 2020 6:49 am ET

Nanny-state told them:
"Virus! Be scared and helpless"
Like sheep, they obeyed.
Haiku #67393, by Nanny Nanny Boo-Boo of Abusive Mother
April 22, 2020 3:48 am ET

Lockdown Diary:
Day number ... 50? 60?
I haven't a clue
Haiku #67392, by Getting tired of being stuck indoors
April 21, 2020 8:36 pm ET

My Dick was so big
That they tried to impeach him.
But then he resigned.
Haiku #67391, by Pat Nixon of 1970's
April 21, 2020 3:09 pm ET

my dick is small so
since i dont care about that leme tell you how small
Haiku #67390, by vhs
April 21, 2020 1:18 pm ET

When your dick is small:
"My yacht's bigger than your yacht."
Always gotta prove.

You know you're old when
your sphincter hangs down below
the tip of your cock.

Can't you just smell it.
Close your eyes and imagine.
Psychic scent transfered.
Haiku #67389, by dw of geriatric physician's office.
April 21, 2020 1:27 am ET

how about i sink
your yacht, wwg1wga
enemy combatant
Haiku #67388, by vhs
April 20, 2020 10:49 pm ET

Hey, I like your style...
Fancy a trip on my yacht?
Feed you to the sharks
Haiku #67387, by Operations Manager of Scandinavia
April 20, 2020 10:41 pm ET

Waiting for the worms.
That is how I feel right now.
Covid will kill me.

How's irrelevant.
By pneumonia or boredom.
Which one will be worse?
Haiku #67386, by Darth Whorrendous, The Dork Lard of the Fifth of Rum of Going to find a whore today. Going to fuck her 3 hours straight. I hope she has a bad cough.
April 20, 2020 8:53 pm ET

listen if you shag
a tree or a apple pie
splinters or burn...

And i thought it was creepy
of the guy in American Beauty
Haiku #67385, by vhs
April 20, 2020 3:02 pm ET

well i don't know why
people make a big deal on
bills but they're just there
Haiku #67384, by vhs of hillarys bill wasn't that big :).
April 20, 2020 12:07 pm ET

Tiny fucked a stump.
You don't know who Tiny is?
Well aren't you special.
Haiku #67383, by dw
April 20, 2020 8:44 am ET

You can't cure stupid
And you can't quarantine it
God bless 'merica
Haiku #67382, by Anonymous Poet
April 19, 2020 11:15 pm ET

I know my poultry.
There ain't no chicken in hell
will cluck otherwise.
Haiku #67381, by Poultry-Based Market Optimization
April 19, 2020 12:04 pm ET

You know your poultry
'Cause yo brain is chicken shit
Step off there Chester
Haiku #67380, by Anonymous Poet
April 19, 2020 8:18 am ET

It's all about ME
inventing endless genders.
How DARE you. For shame.
Haiku #67379, by Fat Sullen Pale Short Haired Purple Thing With Glasses and a Lawyer from ACLU
April 19, 2020 7:07 am ET

Romance languages
Have masculine/feminine
Grammar. They must go.
Haiku #67378, by Genderfluidity Must Be Promoted At Grammar School At
April 19, 2020 7:01 am ET

All poultry has rights.
Chicken Lives Matter: RISE UP!
Stop laying their eggs.
Haiku #67377, by Poultry Activism of Woke Haiku
April 19, 2020 6:56 am ET

My preferred pronoun:
(Use it or I press charges)
Haiku #67376, by Barnyard Bullying of Genderfluid Fox in Henhouse
April 19, 2020 6:50 am ET

Granny has a cock:
What pronoun must we use when
Grandpa has a hen?
Haiku #67375, by Poetic Poultry of Tyson Money-Laundering
April 19, 2020 6:44 am ET

at least it's not meth
perhaps a new haiku meme
grandma has a cock
Haiku #67374, by ash
April 19, 2020 5:18 am ET

My contribution.
My undying legacy.
"At least it's not meth."
Haiku #67373, by dw
April 19, 2020 12:36 am ET

try fecal transplants
i promise you, it's the shit!
(at least it's not meth)
Haiku #67372, by scotch of scatology
April 18, 2020 10:18 pm ET

marketing slogan:
tired of the same old shit?
try fecal transplants!
Haiku #67371, by scotch of but maintain social distancing
April 18, 2020 9:24 pm ET

So you think I should
get a fecal transplant to
fix my excrement.

Please be the donor.
I want feces just like yours.
Your shit doesnt' stink.
Haiku #67370, by Darth Whorrendouns, Dork Lard of the Fifth (of Rum) of Hell's got nothing on where I am now.
April 18, 2020 5:41 pm ET

that's ok...sometimes we
need the Darwin Awards for
the human lemmings
Haiku #67369, by vhs
April 18, 2020 5:36 pm ET

Corona thanks to
Chinese Communist Party...
But lemmings don't know.
Haiku #67368, by A World of Dead Lemmings
April 18, 2020 5:22 pm ET

One World of Haiku:
Let us all sing Kumbaya
and hate on Donald.
Haiku #67367, by Virtue-Signalers of Burning Hell
April 18, 2020 5:08 pm ET

A new haiku born:
Dork Lard is mentally ill
Haiku #67366, by Evaluation of Excremental Health
April 18, 2020 4:58 pm ET

i am attempting
to get people to come here and
post some haikus.
Haiku #67365, by vhs
April 18, 2020 3:50 pm ET

oh darkwing duck let's
get dangerous, suck gas you
evil doers, poit!
Haiku #67364, by vhs of better watch out you bad boys
April 18, 2020 3:32 pm ET

New name. Let me guess:
It is now "Darth Whorrendous"
Did I get it right?
Haiku #67363, by Divine Workshop of Dirty Water
April 18, 2020 7:37 am ET

I don't write every poem on here, you know... I didn't say anything about quitting. Hang on until the end, old friend.

And I'm not a figpucker any more, so it's dw.

Separated!... Which makes me think maybe there is a God that cares. In some weird, twisted way. ;-)

Given the way this last year has turned out, I am 100% convinced that God has a FAR more warped sense of humor than I do. You win, God! You hear me! You beat me hand down! I cannot even imagine shit like that! You are the Master!
Haiku #67362, by dw
April 18, 2020 1:29 am ET

It's a cross between
the Sand People and Jawas.
You're a Star Wars fan!
Haiku #67361, by Darth Whorrendous, Dork Lard of the Fifth (of Rum) of Let's BBQ some Sand Jawas. Juicy and nutritious!
April 18, 2020 1:20 am ET

what on earth does that
mean? Social Justice Warriors?
Single Jew Women?
Haiku #67360, by Help me out here.
April 18, 2020 1:15 am ET

Those SJWS:
Burn their Maoist texts.
Haiku #67359, by But Love Them as Yourself of course . . .
April 18, 2020 12:42 am ET

i wish i could quit
df, but i seek revenge
on those sjws
Haiku #67358, by Anonymous Poet
April 18, 2020 12:20 am ET

Oh ye heavens! Lord
Have mercy upon this land
For such bad poems.
Haiku #67357, by Current Crisis of Poetry
April 17, 2020 11:48 pm ET

i have thought of say
i wish the internet would
go away for a bit
Haiku #67356, by vhs
April 17, 2020 11:41 pm ET

If you were to leave,
We would weep and then vomit
Pure haiku sorrow.
Haiku #67355, by Until the Next Haiku
April 17, 2020 11:38 pm ET

hmm, if i left the
website like i want to leave
twitter whats next then
Haiku #67354, by vhs
April 17, 2020 11:16 pm ET

This is terrible.
I'm running out of puppies.
Didn't think it through.
Haiku #67353, by dw, the fartist formerly known as df
April 17, 2020 7:17 pm ET

Abandon all hope!
Your puppies belong to me!
Purina cat chow!

I play puppy skeet.
Launch them with a puppypult.
Blast with a 4-gauge.

A puppypult is
a catapult that launches
puppies and not cats.

I play this game in
international waters.
Your laws can't touch me.
Haiku #67352, by Darth Whorrendous, The Dork Lard of the Fifth (of rum) so powerful you'll nevrer forget his stench. of My yacht in the Florida Keys, with prostytoots and 2 year supply of food, water, alcohol, and drugs. Seriously!
April 17, 2020 7:10 pm ET

what puppies? he best
worry about puppies busting
a nut in his ass.
Haiku #67351, by vhs
April 17, 2020 3:38 pm ET

Don't cry Haiku bitch.
We will protect your puppies
from Dork Lard filth-face.
Haiku #67350, by Dork Would Eat Unborn Puppies If It Could
April 17, 2020 3:11 pm ET

i am very dis
appointed here so now
i am haiku bitch
Haiku #67349, by vhs
April 17, 2020 1:32 pm ET

It is too bad cause
people think they''re right when they're
wrong and we move on
Haiku #67348, by vhs
April 17, 2020 1:30 pm ET

i was blocked on say
twitter and someone was set
in their own hellbound

occult ways, they will
listen if and when they are ready
to talk to me here
Haiku #67347, by vhs of do what thou will is the first path to Hell
April 17, 2020 1:23 pm ET

maybe some find that red
pill, that lovely cure for the
psychic version of

covid 19, but the
disease of social justice
Haiku #67346, by vhs
April 17, 2020 1:21 pm ET