Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 214 Days and 77128 Haiku later...

You can't cure stupid
And you can't quarantine it
God bless 'merica
Haiku # 67382, April 19, 2020 11:15 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I know my poultry.
There ain't no chicken in hell
will cluck otherwise.
Haiku # 67381, April 19, 2020 12:04 pm ET
by Poultry-Based Market Optimization
You know your poultry
'Cause yo brain is chicken shit
Step off there Chester
Haiku # 67380, April 19, 2020 8:18 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It's all about ME
inventing endless genders.
How DARE you. For shame.
Haiku # 67379, April 19, 2020 7:07 am ET
by Fat Sullen Pale Short Haired Purple Thing With Glasses and a Lawyer from ACLU
Romance languages
Have masculine/feminine
Grammar. They must go.
Haiku # 67378, April 19, 2020 7:01 am ET
by Genderfluidity Must Be Promoted At Grammar School At
All poultry has rights.
Chicken Lives Matter: RISE UP!
Stop laying their eggs.
Haiku # 67377, April 19, 2020 6:56 am ET
by Poultry Activism of Woke Haiku
My preferred pronoun:
(Use it or I press charges)
Haiku # 67376, April 19, 2020 6:50 am ET
by Barnyard Bullying of Genderfluid Fox in Henhouse
Granny has a cock:
What pronoun must we use when
Grandpa has a hen?
Haiku # 67375, April 19, 2020 6:44 am ET
by Poetic Poultry of Tyson Money-Laundering
at least it's not meth
perhaps a new haiku meme
grandma has a cock
Haiku # 67374, April 19, 2020 5:18 am ET
by ash
My contribution.
My undying legacy.
"At least it's not meth."
Haiku # 67373, April 19, 2020 12:36 am ET
by dw
try fecal transplants
i promise you, it's the shit!
(at least it's not meth)
Haiku # 67372, April 18, 2020 10:18 pm ET
by scotch of scatology
marketing slogan:
tired of the same old shit?
try fecal transplants!
Haiku # 67371, April 18, 2020 9:24 pm ET
by scotch of but maintain social distancing
So you think I should
get a fecal transplant to
fix my excrement.

Please be the donor.
I want feces just like yours.
Your shit doesnt' stink.
Haiku # 67370, April 18, 2020 5:41 pm ET
by Darth Whorrendouns, Dork Lard of the Fifth (of Rum) of Hell's got nothing on where I am now.
that's ok...sometimes we
need the Darwin Awards for
the human lemmings
Haiku # 67369, April 18, 2020 5:36 pm ET
by vhs
Corona thanks to
Chinese Communist Party...
But lemmings don't know.
Haiku # 67368, April 18, 2020 5:22 pm ET
by A World of Dead Lemmings
One World of Haiku:
Let us all sing Kumbaya
and hate on Donald.
Haiku # 67367, April 18, 2020 5:08 pm ET
by Virtue-Signalers of Burning Hell
A new haiku born:
Dork Lard is mentally ill
Haiku # 67366, April 18, 2020 4:58 pm ET
by Evaluation of Excremental Health
i am attempting
to get people to come here and
post some haikus.
Haiku # 67365, April 18, 2020 3:50 pm ET
by vhs
oh darkwing duck let's
get dangerous, suck gas you
evil doers, poit!
Haiku # 67364, April 18, 2020 3:32 pm ET
by vhs of better watch out you bad boys
New name. Let me guess:
It is now "Darth Whorrendous"
Did I get it right?
Haiku # 67363, April 18, 2020 7:37 am ET
by Divine Workshop of Dirty Water
I don't write every poem on here, you know... I didn't say anything about quitting. Hang on until the end, old friend.

And I'm not a figpucker any more, so it's dw.

Separated!... Which makes me think maybe there is a God that cares. In some weird, twisted way. ;-)

Given the way this last year has turned out, I am 100% convinced that God has a FAR more warped sense of humor than I do. You win, God! You hear me! You beat me hand down! I cannot even imagine shit like that! You are the Master!
Haiku # 67362, April 18, 2020 1:29 am ET
by dw
It's a cross between
the Sand People and Jawas.
You're a Star Wars fan!
Haiku # 67361, April 18, 2020 1:20 am ET
by Darth Whorrendous, Dork Lard of the Fifth (of Rum) of Let's BBQ some Sand Jawas. Juicy and nutritious!
Those SJWS:
Burn their Maoist texts.
Haiku # 67359, April 18, 2020 12:42 am ET
by But Love Them as Yourself of course . . .
i wish i could quit
df, but i seek revenge
on those sjws
Haiku # 67358, April 18, 2020 12:20 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Oh ye heavens! Lord
Have mercy upon this land
For such bad poems.
Haiku # 67357, April 17, 2020 11:48 pm ET
by Current Crisis of Poetry
i have thought of say
i wish the internet would
go away for a bit
Haiku # 67356, April 17, 2020 11:41 pm ET
by vhs
If you were to leave,
We would weep and then vomit
Pure haiku sorrow.
Haiku # 67355, April 17, 2020 11:38 pm ET
by Until the Next Haiku
hmm, if i left the
website like i want to leave
twitter whats next then
Haiku # 67354, April 17, 2020 11:16 pm ET
by vhs
This is terrible.
I'm running out of puppies.
Didn't think it through.
Haiku # 67353, April 17, 2020 7:17 pm ET
by dw, the fartist formerly known as df
Abandon all hope!
Your puppies belong to me!
Purina cat chow!

I play puppy skeet.
Launch them with a puppypult.
Blast with a 4-gauge.

A puppypult is
a catapult that launches
puppies and not cats.

I play this game in
international waters.
Your laws can't touch me.
Haiku # 67352, April 17, 2020 7:10 pm ET
by Darth Whorrendous, The Dork Lard of the Fifth (of rum) so powerful you'll nevrer forget his stench. of My yacht in the Florida Keys, with prostytoots and 2 year supply of food, water, alcohol, and drugs. Seriously!
what puppies? he best
worry about puppies busting
a nut in his ass.
Haiku # 67351, April 17, 2020 3:38 pm ET
by vhs
Don't cry Haiku bitch.
We will protect your puppies
from Dork Lard filth-face.
Haiku # 67350, April 17, 2020 3:11 pm ET
by Dork Would Eat Unborn Puppies If It Could
i am very dis
appointed here so now
i am haiku bitch
Haiku # 67349, April 17, 2020 1:32 pm ET
by vhs
It is too bad cause
people think they''re right when they're
wrong and we move on
Haiku # 67348, April 17, 2020 1:30 pm ET
by vhs
i was blocked on say
twitter and someone was set
in their own hellbound

occult ways, they will
listen if and when they are ready
to talk to me here
Haiku # 67347, April 17, 2020 1:23 pm ET
by vhs of do what thou will is the first path to Hell
maybe some find that red
pill, that lovely cure for the
psychic version of

covid 19, but the
disease of social justice
Haiku # 67346, April 17, 2020 1:21 pm ET
by vhs
TDS is not
curable, the people who
have it have to find

something else to
bitch about till they kill them
selves or go away
Haiku # 67345, April 17, 2020 1:19 pm ET
by vhs
what a haiku, i am getting
good at b movies.
Haiku # 67344, April 17, 2020 1:18 pm ET
by vhs
i think we think we
can give a good show till some
person blows you off
Haiku # 67343, April 17, 2020 1:14 pm ET
by vhs
something about some
thing or another something
Haiku # 67342, April 17, 2020 1:12 pm ET
by vhs
2020, death to "the Left"
yay, wave a flag.
Haiku # 67341, April 17, 2020 12:42 pm ET
by vhs
Talk bad about Trump,
But he's got a perty mouth.
Squeel little pig.
Haiku # 67340, April 17, 2020 7:21 am ET
by Darth Relapse of My name is Darth, and I'm a swine addict. It's been 3 days since I last boinked a pig. "Welcome Darth".
Gordon Ramsey's new
avocado haiku pie
God that's fucking good!
Haiku # 67339, April 17, 2020 7:16 am ET
by Darth Something or Other I Can't Decide Yet of It's not easy being a Dork Lard of the Pith.
Bring Trump into it?
He's the president. I'd say
You're more the moron.
Haiku # 67338, April 17, 2020 5:44 am ET
by Trump Derangement Syndrome of Find A Cure SOON
trump is a moron
mr t says how it is
"pity the poor fools"
Haiku # 67337, April 17, 2020 3:05 am ET
by ash
iamback is back
and as forward as ever
come blow me... a kiss
Haiku # 67336, April 17, 2020 3:03 am ET
by ash
I like Whorrendous.
After all, I am a whore,
doing math homework.

And whores aren't so bad.
Better than cheap gold-diggers,
lying about love.
Haiku # 67335, April 17, 2020 2:40 am ET
by Hey, at least my lies are obvious and therefore not much of a lie. Know what I mean?
Hey vhs, you might check out the book Rabbi Jesus by Bruce Chilton. I found it to be very insprirational. It made me feel like that was a Jesus I could respect. Give it a try if you ever get into a book store after this damn lock down. Hope you ALL stay virus free. Especially iamback.. I mean, I really like that guy!
Haiku # 67334, April 17, 2020 2:29 am ET
by Darth Tootsalot... I gotta come up with someting better. of Darth... Whorrendous / Debauchus / Apathos / Vulgaro / Pervaricator (play on prevaricator, which means liar)
You don't have much faith
if a haiku destroys it.
"Lack of," "Disturbing."
Haiku # 67333, April 17, 2020 2:15 am ET
by Darth Tootsalot, the Dork Lard (whale penis blubber) of I find your lack of syllables disturbing.
"Moral bankruptcy"?
You should think of it more like
"immoral richness".
Haiku # 67332, April 16, 2020 10:08 pm ET
by Darth Tootsalot of As rich as the stains in my underwear -- plant a garden in there, you could!
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >