BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
23 Days
and
68996 Haikus
later...
My preferred pronoun:
(Use it or I press charges)
"Cluck-cluck-cluck-ba-KACK"
Haiku #67376, by Barnyard Bullying of Genderfluid Fox in Henhouse
April 19, 2020 6:50 am ET

Granny has a cock:
What pronoun must we use when
Grandpa has a hen?
Haiku #67375, by Poetic Poultry of Tyson Money-Laundering
April 19, 2020 6:44 am ET

at least it's not meth
perhaps a new haiku meme
grandma has a cock
Haiku #67374, by ash
April 19, 2020 5:18 am ET

My contribution.
My undying legacy.
"At least it's not meth."
Haiku #67373, by dw
April 19, 2020 12:36 am ET

try fecal transplants
i promise you, it's the shit!
(at least it's not meth)
Haiku #67372, by scotch of scatology
April 18, 2020 10:18 pm ET

marketing slogan:
tired of the same old shit?
try fecal transplants!
Haiku #67371, by scotch of but maintain social distancing
April 18, 2020 9:24 pm ET

So you think I should
get a fecal transplant to
fix my excrement.

Please be the donor.
I want feces just like yours.
Your shit doesnt' stink.
Haiku #67370, by Darth Whorrendouns, Dork Lard of the Fifth (of Rum) of Hell's got nothing on where I am now.
April 18, 2020 5:41 pm ET

that's ok...sometimes we
need the Darwin Awards for
the human lemmings
Haiku #67369, by vhs
April 18, 2020 5:36 pm ET

Corona thanks to
Chinese Communist Party...
But lemmings don't know.
Haiku #67368, by A World of Dead Lemmings
April 18, 2020 5:22 pm ET

One World of Haiku:
Let us all sing Kumbaya
and hate on Donald.
Haiku #67367, by Virtue-Signalers of Burning Hell
April 18, 2020 5:08 pm ET

A new haiku born:
Dork Lard is mentally ill
(Excrementally)
Haiku #67366, by Evaluation of Excremental Health
April 18, 2020 4:58 pm ET

i am attempting
to get people to come here and
post some haikus.
Haiku #67365, by vhs
April 18, 2020 3:50 pm ET

oh darkwing duck let's
get dangerous, suck gas you
evil doers, poit!
Haiku #67364, by vhs of better watch out you bad boys
April 18, 2020 3:32 pm ET

New name. Let me guess:
It is now "Darth Whorrendous"
Did I get it right?
Haiku #67363, by Divine Workshop of Dirty Water
April 18, 2020 7:37 am ET

I don't write every poem on here, you know... I didn't say anything about quitting. Hang on until the end, old friend.

And I'm not a figpucker any more, so it's dw.

Separated!... Which makes me think maybe there is a God that cares. In some weird, twisted way. ;-)

Given the way this last year has turned out, I am 100% convinced that God has a FAR more warped sense of humor than I do. You win, God! You hear me! You beat me hand down! I cannot even imagine shit like that! You are the Master!
Haiku #67362, by dw
April 18, 2020 1:29 am ET

It's a cross between
the Sand People and Jawas.
You're a Star Wars fan!
Haiku #67361, by Darth Whorrendous, Dork Lard of the Fifth (of Rum) of Let's BBQ some Sand Jawas. Juicy and nutritious!
April 18, 2020 1:20 am ET

what on earth does that
mean? Social Justice Warriors?
Single Jew Women?
Haiku #67360, by Help me out here.
April 18, 2020 1:15 am ET

Those SJWS:
REND THEIR FOUL LIMBS ASUNDER.
Burn their Maoist texts.
Haiku #67359, by But Love Them as Yourself of course . . .
April 18, 2020 12:42 am ET

i wish i could quit
df, but i seek revenge
on those sjws
Haiku #67358, by Anonymous Poet
April 18, 2020 12:20 am ET

Oh ye heavens! Lord
Have mercy upon this land
For such bad poems.
Haiku #67357, by Current Crisis of Poetry
April 17, 2020 11:48 pm ET

i have thought of say
i wish the internet would
go away for a bit
Haiku #67356, by vhs
April 17, 2020 11:41 pm ET

If you were to leave,
We would weep and then vomit
Pure haiku sorrow.
Haiku #67355, by Until the Next Haiku
April 17, 2020 11:38 pm ET

hmm, if i left the
website like i want to leave
twitter whats next then
Haiku #67354, by vhs
April 17, 2020 11:16 pm ET

This is terrible.
I'm running out of puppies.
Didn't think it through.
Haiku #67353, by dw, the fartist formerly known as df
April 17, 2020 7:17 pm ET

Abandon all hope!
Your puppies belong to me!
Purina cat chow!

I play puppy skeet.
Launch them with a puppypult.
Blast with a 4-gauge.

A puppypult is
a catapult that launches
puppies and not cats.

I play this game in
international waters.
Your laws can't touch me.
Haiku #67352, by Darth Whorrendous, The Dork Lard of the Fifth (of rum) so powerful you'll nevrer forget his stench. of My yacht in the Florida Keys, with prostytoots and 2 year supply of food, water, alcohol, and drugs. Seriously!
April 17, 2020 7:10 pm ET

what puppies? he best
worry about puppies busting
a nut in his ass.
Haiku #67351, by vhs
April 17, 2020 3:38 pm ET

Don't cry Haiku bitch.
We will protect your puppies
from Dork Lard filth-face.
Haiku #67350, by Dork Would Eat Unborn Puppies If It Could
April 17, 2020 3:11 pm ET

i am very dis
appointed here so now
i am haiku bitch
Haiku #67349, by vhs
April 17, 2020 1:32 pm ET

It is too bad cause
people think they''re right when they're
wrong and we move on
Haiku #67348, by vhs
April 17, 2020 1:30 pm ET

i was blocked on say
twitter and someone was set
in their own hellbound

occult ways, they will
listen if and when they are ready
to talk to me here
Haiku #67347, by vhs of do what thou will is the first path to Hell
April 17, 2020 1:23 pm ET

maybe some find that red
pill, that lovely cure for the
psychic version of

covid 19, but the
disease of social justice
murder-suicide
Haiku #67346, by vhs
April 17, 2020 1:21 pm ET

TDS is not
curable, the people who
have it have to find

something else to
bitch about till they kill them
selves or go away
Haiku #67345, by vhs
April 17, 2020 1:19 pm ET

lmao...hey
what a haiku, i am getting
good at b movies.
Haiku #67344, by vhs
April 17, 2020 1:18 pm ET

i think we think we
can give a good show till some
person blows you off
Haiku #67343, by vhs
April 17, 2020 1:14 pm ET

something about some
thing or another something
someone somewhere...how
Haiku #67342, by vhs
April 17, 2020 1:12 pm ET

shrugs...MAGA
2020, death to "the Left"
yay, wave a flag.
Haiku #67341, by vhs
April 17, 2020 12:42 pm ET

Talk bad about Trump,
But he's got a perty mouth.
Squeel little pig.
Haiku #67340, by Darth Relapse of My name is Darth, and I'm a swine addict. It's been 3 days since I last boinked a pig. "Welcome Darth".
April 17, 2020 7:21 am ET

Gordon Ramsey's new
avocado haiku pie
God that's fucking good!
Haiku #67339, by Darth Something or Other I Can't Decide Yet of It's not easy being a Dork Lard of the Pith.
April 17, 2020 7:16 am ET

Bring Trump into it?
He's the president. I'd say
You're more the moron.
Haiku #67338, by Trump Derangement Syndrome of Find A Cure SOON
April 17, 2020 5:44 am ET

trump is a moron
mr t says how it is
"pity the poor fools"
Haiku #67337, by ash
April 17, 2020 3:05 am ET

iamback is back
and as forward as ever
come blow me... a kiss
Haiku #67336, by ash
April 17, 2020 3:03 am ET

I like Whorrendous.
After all, I am a whore,
doing math homework.

And whores aren't so bad.
Better than cheap gold-diggers,
lying about love.
Haiku #67335, by Hey, at least my lies are obvious and therefore not much of a lie. Know what I mean?
April 17, 2020 2:40 am ET

Hey vhs, you might check out the book Rabbi Jesus by Bruce Chilton. I found it to be very insprirational. It made me feel like that was a Jesus I could respect. Give it a try if you ever get into a book store after this damn lock down. Hope you ALL stay virus free. Especially iamback.. I mean, I really like that guy!
Haiku #67334, by Darth Tootsalot... I gotta come up with someting better. of Darth... Whorrendous / Debauchus / Apathos / Vulgaro / Pervaricator (play on prevaricator, which means liar)
April 17, 2020 2:29 am ET

You don't have much faith
if a haiku destroys it.
"Lack of," "Disturbing."
Haiku #67333, by Darth Tootsalot, the Dork Lard (whale penis blubber) of I find your lack of syllables disturbing.
April 17, 2020 2:15 am ET

"Moral bankruptcy"?
You should think of it more like
"immoral richness".
Haiku #67332, by Darth Tootsalot of As rich as the stains in my underwear -- plant a garden in there, you could!
April 16, 2020 10:08 pm ET

i was wondering
when you were going to post
your faith destroying

and evil haikus
for all to see your total
moral bankruptcy
Haiku #67331, by vhs
April 16, 2020 7:31 pm ET

who's jack? the guy who
runs twitter? he got more than
lucky, he got rich.
Haiku #67330, by vhs of go twitter yourself
April 16, 2020 7:09 pm ET

Wuhan virus jail
The whole damn Country- lock down.
But convicts get turned loose.
Haiku #67329, by Stir crazy of locked in
April 16, 2020 6:15 pm ET

A soft rain of leaves
Rippling through the bamboo grove.
Think I'm going to puke.
Haiku #67328, by Nausea of Haiku
April 16, 2020 6:12 pm ET

Nippress and Ash, many moons ago
got married in a gay Star Wars themed wedding as Darth Gaydar and Storm Pooper. How speshul a day it was with Jan-Ass the Hutt. I hope they have little baby Jawas and lots of dogs and cats
Haiku #67327, by iamback of guess
April 16, 2020 5:48 pm ET