BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
22 Days
and
68993 Haikus
later...
I smelled the hatpussy
beast on tinder, her hat smells
like her pussy, but worse.
Haiku #67409, by
April 24, 2020 2:40 am ET

i saw the pussyhat
beast on twitter, smug face of
a movement constipated
Haiku #67408, by vhs
April 23, 2020 7:57 pm ET

this is a post modern
haiku which means it's just
the same as the last
Haiku #67407, by vhs
April 23, 2020 6:30 pm ET

And now, at long last
I write the Final Haiku.
Thus ends the verse form.
Haiku #67406, by After Me, the Deluge of wink wink
April 23, 2020 2:57 pm ET

boredom means what then
does life suck then you get less
bored, are they boring?
Haiku #67405, by vhs
April 23, 2020 2:23 pm ET

adrenochrome, soy
soylent green? soyboys? mass
censorship, nothing to see
Haiku #67404, by vhs
April 23, 2020 12:56 pm ET

What are you saying?
Slim Jim's is made of people?
I did not know that
Haiku #67403, by Professor Poopypants
April 23, 2020 12:00 pm ET

ironic, i have known
you for years and it is as
i have foreseen...wow
Haiku #67402, by vhs
April 23, 2020 10:19 am ET

i went to bed, and
had an issue on twitter
with someone i should forget
Haiku #67401, by vhs
April 23, 2020 10:18 am ET

Why aren't you writing?
I need to know your alive.
And not cannibalized by mutant redneck neighbors kind of like in The Hill Have Eyes.

2000 ppl per day... Christ have mercy.
That's a lot of Slim Jim extra spicy sausage stix.
Haiku #67400, by dw of Anyone care for a bit of Soylent Green. Don't ask how, but I got some extra rations this week.
April 23, 2020 3:51 am ET

King Tut's butt
and the sphinx's sphincter
split open by Isis's strap-on.

Isis being the goddess,
Not the terrorist organization.
Hmmm.... However...
Haiku #67399, by dw of I stopped counting... oooooo what a rebel I am!
April 23, 2020 3:46 am ET

Mars is beautiful.
That's because no one lives there.
And no one dies there.
Haiku #67398, by dw of Hey look! A rock!
April 23, 2020 3:44 am ET

It's an ugly world.
I could have done much better.
Can we impeach God?
Haiku #67397, by dw of I'm serious!
April 23, 2020 3:07 am ET

mood swings back and forth
madness of crowds go home now
ran out of witches
Haiku #67396, by vhs
April 22, 2020 2:21 pm ET

Darth went to Egypt
to see all the ancient sights.
He saw the Sphincter.
Haiku #67395, by Hanging Out of Egypt
April 22, 2020 10:57 am ET

The preacher told them
Ignore science, come to church
Now....preacher is dead
Haiku #67394, by This really happened of Karma is a bitch
April 22, 2020 6:49 am ET

Nanny-state told them:
"Virus! Be scared and helpless"
Like sheep, they obeyed.
Haiku #67393, by Nanny Nanny Boo-Boo of Abusive Mother
April 22, 2020 3:48 am ET

Lockdown Diary:
Day number ... 50? 60?
I haven't a clue
Haiku #67392, by Getting tired of being stuck indoors
April 21, 2020 8:36 pm ET

My Dick was so big
That they tried to impeach him.
But then he resigned.
Haiku #67391, by Pat Nixon of 1970's
April 21, 2020 3:09 pm ET

my dick is small so
since i dont care about that leme tell you how small
Haiku #67390, by vhs
April 21, 2020 1:18 pm ET

When your dick is small:
"My yacht's bigger than your yacht."
Always gotta prove.

You know you're old when
your sphincter hangs down below
the tip of your cock.

Can't you just smell it.
Close your eyes and imagine.
Psychic scent transfered.
Haiku #67389, by dw of geriatric physician's office.
April 21, 2020 1:27 am ET

how about i sink
your yacht, wwg1wga
enemy combatant
Haiku #67388, by vhs
April 20, 2020 10:49 pm ET

Hey, I like your style...
Fancy a trip on my yacht?
Feed you to the sharks
Haiku #67387, by Operations Manager of Scandinavia
April 20, 2020 10:41 pm ET

Waiting for the worms.
That is how I feel right now.
Covid will kill me.

How's irrelevant.
By pneumonia or boredom.
Which one will be worse?
Haiku #67386, by Darth Whorrendous, The Dork Lard of the Fifth of Rum of Going to find a whore today. Going to fuck her 3 hours straight. I hope she has a bad cough.
April 20, 2020 8:53 pm ET

listen if you shag
a tree or a apple pie
splinters or burn...

And i thought it was creepy
of the guy in American Beauty
Haiku #67385, by vhs
April 20, 2020 3:02 pm ET

well i don't know why
people make a big deal on
bills but they're just there
Haiku #67384, by vhs of hillarys bill wasn't that big :).
April 20, 2020 12:07 pm ET

Tiny fucked a stump.
You don't know who Tiny is?
Well aren't you special.
Haiku #67383, by dw
April 20, 2020 8:44 am ET

You can't cure stupid
And you can't quarantine it
God bless 'merica
Haiku #67382, by Anonymous Poet
April 19, 2020 11:15 pm ET

I know my poultry.
There ain't no chicken in hell
will cluck otherwise.
Haiku #67381, by Poultry-Based Market Optimization
April 19, 2020 12:04 pm ET

You know your poultry
'Cause yo brain is chicken shit
Step off there Chester
Haiku #67380, by Anonymous Poet
April 19, 2020 8:18 am ET

It's all about ME
inventing endless genders.
How DARE you. For shame.
Haiku #67379, by Fat Sullen Pale Short Haired Purple Thing With Glasses and a Lawyer from ACLU
April 19, 2020 7:07 am ET

Romance languages
Have masculine/feminine
Grammar. They must go.
Haiku #67378, by Genderfluidity Must Be Promoted At Grammar School At
April 19, 2020 7:01 am ET

All poultry has rights.
Chicken Lives Matter: RISE UP!
Stop laying their eggs.
Haiku #67377, by Poultry Activism of Woke Haiku
April 19, 2020 6:56 am ET

My preferred pronoun:
(Use it or I press charges)
"Cluck-cluck-cluck-ba-KACK"
Haiku #67376, by Barnyard Bullying of Genderfluid Fox in Henhouse
April 19, 2020 6:50 am ET

Granny has a cock:
What pronoun must we use when
Grandpa has a hen?
Haiku #67375, by Poetic Poultry of Tyson Money-Laundering
April 19, 2020 6:44 am ET

at least it's not meth
perhaps a new haiku meme
grandma has a cock
Haiku #67374, by ash
April 19, 2020 5:18 am ET

My contribution.
My undying legacy.
"At least it's not meth."
Haiku #67373, by dw
April 19, 2020 12:36 am ET

try fecal transplants
i promise you, it's the shit!
(at least it's not meth)
Haiku #67372, by scotch of scatology
April 18, 2020 10:18 pm ET

marketing slogan:
tired of the same old shit?
try fecal transplants!
Haiku #67371, by scotch of but maintain social distancing
April 18, 2020 9:24 pm ET

So you think I should
get a fecal transplant to
fix my excrement.

Please be the donor.
I want feces just like yours.
Your shit doesnt' stink.
Haiku #67370, by Darth Whorrendouns, Dork Lard of the Fifth (of Rum) of Hell's got nothing on where I am now.
April 18, 2020 5:41 pm ET

that's ok...sometimes we
need the Darwin Awards for
the human lemmings
Haiku #67369, by vhs
April 18, 2020 5:36 pm ET

Corona thanks to
Chinese Communist Party...
But lemmings don't know.
Haiku #67368, by A World of Dead Lemmings
April 18, 2020 5:22 pm ET

One World of Haiku:
Let us all sing Kumbaya
and hate on Donald.
Haiku #67367, by Virtue-Signalers of Burning Hell
April 18, 2020 5:08 pm ET

A new haiku born:
Dork Lard is mentally ill
(Excrementally)
Haiku #67366, by Evaluation of Excremental Health
April 18, 2020 4:58 pm ET

i am attempting
to get people to come here and
post some haikus.
Haiku #67365, by vhs
April 18, 2020 3:50 pm ET

oh darkwing duck let's
get dangerous, suck gas you
evil doers, poit!
Haiku #67364, by vhs of better watch out you bad boys
April 18, 2020 3:32 pm ET

New name. Let me guess:
It is now "Darth Whorrendous"
Did I get it right?
Haiku #67363, by Divine Workshop of Dirty Water
April 18, 2020 7:37 am ET

I don't write every poem on here, you know... I didn't say anything about quitting. Hang on until the end, old friend.

And I'm not a figpucker any more, so it's dw.

Separated!... Which makes me think maybe there is a God that cares. In some weird, twisted way. ;-)

Given the way this last year has turned out, I am 100% convinced that God has a FAR more warped sense of humor than I do. You win, God! You hear me! You beat me hand down! I cannot even imagine shit like that! You are the Master!
Haiku #67362, by dw
April 18, 2020 1:29 am ET

It's a cross between
the Sand People and Jawas.
You're a Star Wars fan!
Haiku #67361, by Darth Whorrendous, Dork Lard of the Fifth (of Rum) of Let's BBQ some Sand Jawas. Juicy and nutritious!
April 18, 2020 1:20 am ET

what on earth does that
mean? Social Justice Warriors?
Single Jew Women?
Haiku #67360, by Help me out here.
April 18, 2020 1:15 am ET