BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
341 Days
68413 Haikus
My haiku brethren;
Do not quarrel over it.
Unite and SLAY them.
Haiku #67434, by Militant Haiku of Blood Vengeance
April 30, 2020 1:07 pm ET

I think I must leave.
So that vhs will not.
He wants me to die.
Haiku #67433, by dw of Maybe he is right.
April 30, 2020 12:30 pm ET

mister president
beware covfefe nineteen
it's fake novelty
Haiku #67432, by ash
April 30, 2020 2:08 am ET

strange reactions just
keep reacting to the place
till i finally
Haiku #67431, by vhs
April 29, 2020 7:09 pm ET

"Befrazzled": strange word.
Using this term makes you sound
very befrazzled.
Haiku #67430, by Don't Worry Be Frazzled
April 29, 2020 2:18 pm ET

well if i am too
befrazzled i might decide
to leave here for good!
Haiku #67429, by vhs
April 29, 2020 2:10 pm ET

Is your penis small?
Then why so competitive?
Just enjoy your life.
Haiku #67428, by Eccentrica Gallumbits
April 29, 2020 6:35 am ET

Ima smoke yo' ass!
What I said to a half ounce.
Damn was I stupid.
Haiku #67427, by Darth Whorendous
April 29, 2020 6:33 am ET

I'ma SMOKE yo ass.
Y'all caint even WRITE haiku.
DAMN. Weak-ass poets...
Haiku #67426, by Anonymous Tyrone of Literary Endeavor
April 29, 2020 5:13 am ET

somehow it became
one of those bumper sticker
posting contests here
Haiku #67425, by vhs
April 28, 2020 6:17 pm ET

tis a bit behind
the screen, the scenes, big deal we
are in trouble now
Haiku #67424, by vhs
April 28, 2020 3:53 pm ET

Is this a contest
To see who is the dumbest?
You all are winning!
Haiku #67423, by Anonymous Poet
April 28, 2020 11:05 am ET

You all are stupid
Stay safe come at me
I'd kick your weak ass
Haiku #67422, by Anonymous Poet
April 28, 2020 11:03 am ET

whos a nazi, whos a
soup nazi, get back in line!
no soup for you, nein
Haiku #67421, by vhs
April 27, 2020 4:45 pm ET

Darth LOVES Melania.
He sent her a Balut egg
for this year's present.
Haiku #67420, by Secret Admirer of Melania Trump
April 27, 2020 1:17 pm ET

Dear Melania:
Have a wonderful birthday.
Don't believe Fake News.
Haiku #67419, by Czech our First Lady out
April 27, 2020 11:57 am ET

After the lockdown
if anyone says "Stay safe,"
I will punch their face!
Haiku #67418, by dw of Promise!
April 27, 2020 12:04 am ET

The coronoa cure.
Jesus and boofing Clorox.
Salvation and safe.
Haiku #67417, by dw of Prescribed by Dr. Donald Trump
April 26, 2020 8:27 pm ET

So are you asking
if she knew you biblically
Or what, exactly...

Or perhaps you mean
Until she met you she was
Not a Hockey "Mom" (?)
Haiku #67416, by Hockey Mom Support of Downeast
April 26, 2020 5:45 pm ET

i wonder if i
know a certain hockey mom
that knew me sometime
Haiku #67415, by vhs
April 25, 2020 10:28 pm ET

i decided to
check my feed to see what new
posts were on
Haiku #67414, by vhs
April 25, 2020 9:07 pm ET

oh my maine on maine
quite insane, I'm paranoid
so what's new there now?
Haiku #67413, by vhs
April 25, 2020 8:58 pm ET

I am back again
after being busy with
life outside haiku
Haiku #67412, by Oedipa of not the same town as vhs
April 25, 2020 7:36 am ET

Stupid President
Wants us to inject Lysol
He was NOT joking
Haiku #67411, by Stupid is as stupid does.....
April 25, 2020 6:57 am ET

I'm turning into
a redneck according to
certain, um, thingies

(the pronoun usually is "they"
but there is only one of them)
Haiku #67410, by vhs
April 24, 2020 2:47 pm ET

I smelled the hatpussy
beast on tinder, her hat smells
like her pussy, but worse.
Haiku #67409, by
April 24, 2020 2:40 am ET

i saw the pussyhat
beast on twitter, smug face of
a movement constipated
Haiku #67408, by vhs
April 23, 2020 7:57 pm ET

this is a post modern
haiku which means it's just
the same as the last
Haiku #67407, by vhs
April 23, 2020 6:30 pm ET

And now, at long last
I write the Final Haiku.
Thus ends the verse form.
Haiku #67406, by After Me, the Deluge of wink wink
April 23, 2020 2:57 pm ET

boredom means what then
does life suck then you get less
bored, are they boring?
Haiku #67405, by vhs
April 23, 2020 2:23 pm ET

adrenochrome, soy
soylent green? soyboys? mass
censorship, nothing to see
Haiku #67404, by vhs
April 23, 2020 12:56 pm ET

What are you saying?
Slim Jim's is made of people?
I did not know that
Haiku #67403, by Professor Poopypants
April 23, 2020 12:00 pm ET

ironic, i have known
you for years and it is as
i have
Haiku #67402, by vhs
April 23, 2020 10:19 am ET

i went to bed, and
had an issue on twitter
with someone i should forget
Haiku #67401, by vhs
April 23, 2020 10:18 am ET

Why aren't you writing?
I need to know your alive.
And not cannibalized by mutant redneck neighbors kind of like in The Hill Have Eyes.

2000 ppl per day... Christ have mercy.
That's a lot of Slim Jim extra spicy sausage stix.
Haiku #67400, by dw of Anyone care for a bit of Soylent Green. Don't ask how, but I got some extra rations this week.
April 23, 2020 3:51 am ET

King Tut's butt
and the sphinx's sphincter
split open by Isis's strap-on.

Isis being the goddess,
Not the terrorist organization.
Hmmm.... However...
Haiku #67399, by dw of I stopped counting... oooooo what a rebel I am!
April 23, 2020 3:46 am ET

Mars is beautiful.
That's because no one lives there.
And no one dies there.
Haiku #67398, by dw of Hey look! A rock!
April 23, 2020 3:44 am ET

It's an ugly world.
I could have done much better.
Can we impeach God?
Haiku #67397, by dw of I'm serious!
April 23, 2020 3:07 am ET

mood swings back and forth
madness of crowds go home now
ran out of witches
Haiku #67396, by vhs
April 22, 2020 2:21 pm ET

Darth went to Egypt
to see all the ancient sights.
He saw the Sphincter.
Haiku #67395, by Hanging Out of Egypt
April 22, 2020 10:57 am ET

The preacher told them
Ignore science, come to church
Now....preacher is dead
Haiku #67394, by This really happened of Karma is a bitch
April 22, 2020 6:49 am ET

Nanny-state told them:
"Virus! Be scared and helpless"
Like sheep, they obeyed.
Haiku #67393, by Nanny Nanny Boo-Boo of Abusive Mother
April 22, 2020 3:48 am ET

Lockdown Diary:
Day number ... 50? 60?
I haven't a clue
Haiku #67392, by Getting tired of being stuck indoors
April 21, 2020 8:36 pm ET

My Dick was so big
That they tried to impeach him.
But then he resigned.
Haiku #67391, by Pat Nixon of 1970's
April 21, 2020 3:09 pm ET

my dick is small so
since i dont care about that leme tell you how small
Haiku #67390, by vhs
April 21, 2020 1:18 pm ET

When your dick is small:
"My yacht's bigger than your yacht."
Always gotta prove.

You know you're old when
your sphincter hangs down below
the tip of your cock.

Can't you just smell it.
Close your eyes and imagine.
Psychic scent transfered.
Haiku #67389, by dw of geriatric physician's office.
April 21, 2020 1:27 am ET

how about i sink
your yacht, wwg1wga
enemy combatant
Haiku #67388, by vhs
April 20, 2020 10:49 pm ET

Hey, I like your style...
Fancy a trip on my yacht?
Feed you to the sharks
Haiku #67387, by Operations Manager of Scandinavia
April 20, 2020 10:41 pm ET

Waiting for the worms.
That is how I feel right now.
Covid will kill me.

How's irrelevant.
By pneumonia or boredom.
Which one will be worse?
Haiku #67386, by Darth Whorrendous, The Dork Lard of the Fifth of Rum of Going to find a whore today. Going to fuck her 3 hours straight. I hope she has a bad cough.
April 20, 2020 8:53 pm ET

listen if you shag
a tree or a apple pie
splinters or burn...

And i thought it was creepy
of the guy in American Beauty
Haiku #67385, by vhs
April 20, 2020 3:02 pm ET