Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 254 Days and 71038 Haikus later...

hey, it woiks for me
bub, if ya cant keep up, play
some solataire...yeeh..
Haiku # 67444, May 1, 2020 11:34 pm ET
by vhs
VHS you sap:
You overthink EVERYTHING.
Let go and let God.
Haiku # 67443, May 1, 2020 5:23 pm ET
by For Your Own Good
relentless is the
bulge in the neck of time, gen
why asks why is this?
Haiku # 67442, May 1, 2020 4:28 pm ET
by vhs
is it raining out?
will it snow this month, gee me
thinks it just might so
Haiku # 67441, May 1, 2020 12:51 pm ET
by vhs
mhmm, maybe i
will just get r absent minded
one day and not care
Haiku # 67440, April 30, 2020 10:54 pm ET
by vhs
The time of Man, done.
Endless ages of Haiku
shall roll on, brothers.
Haiku # 67439, April 30, 2020 1:37 pm ET
by Shining Beams from Heavens of Haiku
Buddha will not save.
Nor your gods. Nor Your idols.
Haiku shall judge you.
Haiku # 67438, April 30, 2020 1:27 pm ET
by Raised Flashing Blade of Haiku
And then, as they flee,
Slay them all without mercy
until Haiku reigns.
Haiku # 67437, April 30, 2020 1:20 pm ET
by Genocide of Haiku-based Compassion
After the signal,
Trap them within the Haiku
Then set fire to it.
Haiku # 67436, April 30, 2020 1:18 pm ET
by Seven Samurai of Bad Haiku
Time is short, brothers.
Haiku cries out for REVENGE.
The blade thirsts for blood.
Haiku # 67435, April 30, 2020 1:14 pm ET
by Victims of Haiku Massacre
My haiku brethren;
Do not quarrel over it.
Unite and SLAY them.
Haiku # 67434, April 30, 2020 1:07 pm ET
by Militant Haiku of Blood Vengeance
I think I must leave.
So that vhs will not.
He wants me to die.
Haiku # 67433, April 30, 2020 12:30 pm ET
by dw of Maybe he is right.
mister president
beware covfefe nineteen
it's fake novelty
Haiku # 67432, April 30, 2020 2:08 am ET
by ash
strange reactions just
keep reacting to the place
till i finally
Haiku # 67431, April 29, 2020 7:09 pm ET
by vhs
"Befrazzled": strange word.
Using this term makes you sound
very befrazzled.
Haiku # 67430, April 29, 2020 2:18 pm ET
by Don't Worry Be Frazzled
well if i am too
befrazzled i might decide
to leave here for good!
Haiku # 67429, April 29, 2020 2:10 pm ET
by vhs
Is your penis small?
Then why so competitive?
Just enjoy your life.
Haiku # 67428, April 29, 2020 6:35 am ET
by Eccentrica Gallumbits
Ima smoke yo' ass!
What I said to a half ounce.
Damn was I stupid.
Haiku # 67427, April 29, 2020 6:33 am ET
by Darth Whorendous
I'ma SMOKE yo ass.
Y'all caint even WRITE haiku.
DAMN. Weak-ass poets...
Haiku # 67426, April 29, 2020 5:13 am ET
by Anonymous Tyrone of Literary Endeavor
somehow it became
one of those bumper sticker
posting contests here
Haiku # 67425, April 28, 2020 6:17 pm ET
by vhs
tis a bit behind
the screen, the scenes, big deal we
are in trouble now
Haiku # 67424, April 28, 2020 3:53 pm ET
by vhs
Is this a contest
To see who is the dumbest?
You all are winning!
Haiku # 67423, April 28, 2020 11:05 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
You all are stupid
Stay safe bro...now come at me
I'd kick your weak ass
Haiku # 67422, April 28, 2020 11:03 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
whos a nazi, whos a
soup nazi, get back in line!
no soup for you, nein
Haiku # 67421, April 27, 2020 4:45 pm ET
by vhs
Darth LOVES Melania.
He sent her a Balut egg
for this year's present.
Haiku # 67420, April 27, 2020 1:17 pm ET
by Secret Admirer of Melania Trump
Dear Melania:
Have a wonderful birthday.
Don't believe Fake News.
Haiku # 67419, April 27, 2020 11:57 am ET
by Czech our First Lady out
After the lockdown
if anyone says "Stay safe,"
I will punch their face!
Haiku # 67418, April 27, 2020 12:04 am ET
by dw of Promise!
The coronoa cure.
Jesus and boofing Clorox.
Salvation and safe.
Haiku # 67417, April 26, 2020 8:27 pm ET
by dw of Prescribed by Dr. Donald Trump
So are you asking
if she knew you biblically
Or what, exactly...

Or perhaps you mean
Until she met you she was
Not a Hockey "Mom" (?)
Haiku # 67416, April 26, 2020 5:45 pm ET
by Hockey Mom Support of Downeast
i wonder if i
know a certain hockey mom
that knew me sometime
Haiku # 67415, April 25, 2020 10:28 pm ET
by vhs
i decided to
check my feed to see what new
posts were on line....off...
Haiku # 67414, April 25, 2020 9:07 pm ET
by vhs
oh my maine on maine
quite insane, I'm paranoid
so what's new there now?
Haiku # 67413, April 25, 2020 8:58 pm ET
by vhs
I am back again
after being busy with
life outside haiku
Haiku # 67412, April 25, 2020 7:36 am ET
by Oedipa of not the same town as vhs
Stupid President
Wants us to inject Lysol
He was NOT joking
Haiku # 67411, April 25, 2020 6:57 am ET
by Stupid is as stupid does.....
I'm turning into
a redneck according to
certain, um, thingies

(the pronoun usually is "they"
but there is only one of them)
Haiku # 67410, April 24, 2020 2:47 pm ET
by vhs
I smelled the hatpussy
beast on tinder, her hat smells
like her pussy, but worse.
Haiku # 67409, April 24, 2020 2:40 am ET
by
i saw the pussyhat
beast on twitter, smug face of
a movement constipated
Haiku # 67408, April 23, 2020 7:57 pm ET
by vhs
this is a post modern
haiku which means it's just
the same as the last
Haiku # 67407, April 23, 2020 6:30 pm ET
by vhs
And now, at long last
I write the Final Haiku.
Thus ends the verse form.
Haiku # 67406, April 23, 2020 2:57 pm ET
by After Me, the Deluge of wink wink
boredom means what then
does life suck then you get less
bored, are they boring?
Haiku # 67405, April 23, 2020 2:23 pm ET
by vhs
adrenochrome, soy
soylent green? soyboys? mass
censorship, nothing to see
Haiku # 67404, April 23, 2020 12:56 pm ET
by vhs
What are you saying?
Slim Jim's is made of people?
I did not know that
Haiku # 67403, April 23, 2020 12:00 pm ET
by Professor Poopypants
ironic, i have known
you for years and it is as
i have foreseen...wow
Haiku # 67402, April 23, 2020 10:19 am ET
by vhs
i went to bed, and
had an issue on twitter
with someone i should forget
Haiku # 67401, April 23, 2020 10:18 am ET
by vhs
Why aren't you writing?
I need to know your alive.
And not cannibalized by mutant redneck neighbors kind of like in The Hill Have Eyes.

2000 ppl per day... Christ have mercy.
That's a lot of Slim Jim extra spicy sausage stix.
Haiku # 67400, April 23, 2020 3:51 am ET
by dw of Anyone care for a bit of Soylent Green. Don't ask how, but I got some extra rations this week.
King Tut's butt
and the sphinx's sphincter
split open by Isis's strap-on.

Isis being the goddess,
Not the terrorist organization.
Hmmm.... However...
Haiku # 67399, April 23, 2020 3:46 am ET
by dw of I stopped counting... oooooo what a rebel I am!
Mars is beautiful.
That's because no one lives there.
And no one dies there.
Haiku # 67398, April 23, 2020 3:44 am ET
by dw of Hey look! A rock!
It's an ugly world.
I could have done much better.
Can we impeach God?
Haiku # 67397, April 23, 2020 3:07 am ET
by dw of I'm serious!
mood swings back and forth
madness of crowds go home now
ran out of witches
Haiku # 67396, April 22, 2020 2:21 pm ET
by vhs
Darth went to Egypt
to see all the ancient sights.
He saw the Sphincter.
Haiku # 67395, April 22, 2020 10:57 am ET
by Hanging Out of Egypt
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