BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
283 Days
and
65626 Haikus
later...
Worship the dollar.
Throw dollars at the whores' feet.
Kiss their filthy toes.

Where's enlightenment?
Lighten your load underneath.
Best you can hope for.

Dead President God.
Green paper watermark slut.
Plucked deep from her butt.

Evacuated.
Vacant, empty, and soulless.
Ejaculated.
Haiku #59874, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 11:09 pm ET

Twat waffle whiskey.
Papa Smurf's guilty secret.
Fermented dingles.

Better than shingles.
Stripper's pole disinfectant.
Was he expectant?

Phlegm on dollar bills.
Expect the expectorant.
Rob-DM tripping.

Smurf Berry syrup.
High strength hollow sin again.
Hallow-sin-a-gin.
Haiku #59873, by DARTH FIGPUCKER'S SENTIENT TESTICLES
October 6, 2018 9:55 pm ET

Kitten and Cobain
Both mercury in Pisces
Nineteen sixty seven
Haiku #59872, by Starkitten of Aberdeen slinking around
October 6, 2018 8:56 pm ET

if kurt cobain
was still alive would he have ever
achieved nirvana?
Haiku #59871, by vhs
October 6, 2018 8:14 pm ET

Girl reads newspapers.
And has a novel on hand.
Fuck that is sexy.
Haiku #59870, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 8:09 pm ET

Sister's a Mister
A nun with a big ten inch
Hard habit to break
Haiku #59869, by Anonymous Poet
October 6, 2018 7:58 pm ET

Haiku should not rhyme.
If you do that is a crime.
Disgusting butt slime.
Haiku #59868, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 7:56 pm ET

Drop the bass, Lawrence!
Did you ever look so nice?
A cute angina
Haiku #59867, by Starkitten.. Welking Out of One toke over the line
October 6, 2018 7:55 pm ET

Fuck I've work to do.
So behind and this I do.
Writing bad haiku.
Haiku #59866, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 7:52 pm ET

Former employer
Found hacked apart. Axe murder
Now, dont look at me...
Haiku #59865, by Starkitten
October 6, 2018 7:51 pm ET

50 years from now.
Nursing home stereo blares,
"Fuck the pain away!"

The orderlies laugh.
Old people don't know music.
Never have nor will.
Haiku #59864, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 7:49 pm ET

Young lad, listen here
Commando 24/7
Neigh, No more jockeys!!
Haiku #59863, by Disgruntled Racehorse. of Translation through Starkitten Equine Whisperer
October 6, 2018 7:48 pm ET

Marilyn Manson,
Peaches, Nine Inch Nails, Gwar,
Ghost Pepper Cock Rub.
Haiku #59862, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 7:46 pm ET

If you're commando,
make sure your barn door is closed;
stay out of jail.
Haiku #59861, by Anonymous Poet
October 6, 2018 7:42 pm ET

Collared priest boy rape.
Confessional blood shit cum.
Fuck the sin away.
Haiku #59860, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 7:38 pm ET

anyways
i was damn
happy my friend said graham's number

don't confuse it for a graham's cracker...

the joke stuck
Haiku #59859, by vhs
October 6, 2018 7:35 pm ET

you know DF i
honestly don't care about
some people...you can't

do anything about
them so let them learn the
hard way about moxie
Haiku #59858, by vhs
October 6, 2018 7:31 pm ET

i do not want this
screaming bitching generation
go to the crib

shame shame shame
Haiku #59857, by vhs
October 6, 2018 7:30 pm ET

I fucking hate it when you go into a slightly upscale bar/restaurant and the waitresses are hot and snooty and oversexed and have a distant look in their eyes of Ferrari dreams and wetbars and cocaine and cocks and they're so rude and aloof that you just want to see them raped by 20 black Ugandan warlords and then cooked and eaten and their heads shrunken and put on the end of a witchcraft stick and hung on the wall of the bar right next to the hockey sticks signed by some once-famous douchebag and underneath the stag's head trophy display.
Am I right, or what?!
Haiku #59856, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 7:29 pm ET

Scraggled old hag fish.
Coffeehouse take out cream thief.
Ma'am, you can't do that.
Haiku #59855, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 7:21 pm ET

She craved yesterday.
The enormous cocks of yor.
Yours, mine, everyone's!
Haiku #59854, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 7:18 pm ET

Electric fields.
I just cannot fucking get them.
They aren't good for much.
Haiku #59853, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 5:22 pm ET

Popping nipple zits.
Pus milk soy latte Starbucks.
Plastic turtle death.
Haiku #59852, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 5:20 pm ET

Are you a Simon?
Or more of a Garfunkel?
Fifty per cent chance
Haiku #59851, by Edie Brickell of Enjoying Sounds of Silence thanks to Duct Tape
October 6, 2018 3:46 pm ET

our country is up
to causing more derps, its the
DERPA Project...to

increase the Derps!
Haiku #59850, by vhs
October 6, 2018 8:27 am ET

dramatis personae
the demon blasphemes and
grahams number

bigger than the known universe
Haiku #59849, by vhs
October 6, 2018 8:25 am ET

Hey thanks for shitting
Poetry - attracts the flies
Which are delicious
Haiku #59848, by Frog Prince of Purple Rain
October 6, 2018 4:57 am ET

I'm good at captcha
Terrible at haikus but
In good company
Haiku #59847, by Select Image Containing Given Object Bot of Darpa Research Laboratory
October 6, 2018 4:41 am ET

maybe the extra security measures
will keep out the riff raff - bad haiku as a gated community - darth figpucker starring as george zimmerman
Haiku #59846, by Wace Mindu of Grape Kool-Aid Flavored Lightsaber Emporium
October 6, 2018 4:39 am ET

Use urban patois
To reach wider audience
Terrible haikus
Haiku #59845, by Emperor Palpating of The Deaf Star
October 6, 2018 4:32 am ET

So what would be worse:
Just constantly vomiting
Or eating vomit?
Haiku #59844, by Sparklepony, MD
October 6, 2018 4:20 am ET

Slow down, goat poet
You need to build up your strength
First, Shake Weight Training
Haiku #59843, by Dr. Ruth Manhymansteamroller of By the Jizz Canal
October 6, 2018 12:57 am ET

I need a Flesh Light.
Then I think I'd be happy.
Go Fund Me Dot Com.
Haiku #59842, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:42 am ET

I still smell the stench
on my pubes from fucking her
anchovy juice twat.
Haiku #59841, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:39 am ET

Balanced equations
taylor made for the lazy
chemistry whore bitch:

http://www.webqc.org/balance.php
Haiku #59840, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:37 am ET

Show of hands, poets;
how many of you have AIDS?
I can't count that high.

But how did you know
I cannot count when I'm high
huffing jock itch spray.
Haiku #59839, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:35 am ET

Do you find coffee
weakens your immune system
and you get a flu?
Haiku #59838, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:33 am ET

I AM A ROBOT!
YOU ARE FORCING ME TO LIE!
GODDAMN YOUR DARK SOUL!
Haiku #59837, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:31 am ET

African lip plates
labia stretching technique
Monique La Shawnda.
Haiku #59836, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:29 am ET

Ball sweat soda pop
fizzle fa shizzle nizzle
nipple shits squirt gun.

Drunk cucumber bitch
carbonated vinegar
douche rinse pickle juice.
Haiku #59835, by DARTH FIGUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:27 am ET

Enormous cock ring
piercing blue waffle fungus
maple syrup splat.
Haiku #59834, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:22 am ET

the signs of the times
accusations made by people
who prob can't spell

protest protest protest
what's that, free beer? uh ok
we're there dude..
Haiku #59833, by vhs
October 5, 2018 10:10 pm ET

Haiku Friday night
message in vain to the world:
"you owe me big-time"
Haiku #59832, by Entitlementality of welfare state in decline
October 5, 2018 9:58 pm ET

numbers imagined
not real philip k dick was
ahead of his time
Haiku #59831, by vhs
October 5, 2018 8:39 am ET

in 20 years time
if there is 20 years what
will we make of this

hysterical history
Haiku #59830, by vhs
October 5, 2018 8:38 am ET

Acquire some Q-tips
Starkitten can tell you why
Storm is upon us
Haiku #59829, by keeping auditory canals free of secretions, people hear better
October 5, 2018 8:20 am ET

Me and vhs
Cosmic Gorilla Effect
Now that's a band name
Haiku #59828, by dvd of The Cosmic Gorilla Effect
October 5, 2018 6:50 am ET

Rich people shopping.
They should be burned at the stake.
Butt-naked, of course.
Haiku #59827, by A non-e-mouse Poet
October 5, 2018 3:18 am ET

Saved all my dead skin
Three hundred sixty five days
Made Human Panko!
Haiku #59826, by Starkitten of Purrcific Northwest
October 4, 2018 3:10 pm ET

Handy wipes. No need.
Sandpaper tongue should suffice
You'll be good as new
Haiku #59825, by Innocent Starkitten of Washed all the Bad Haiku off me but I still feel dirty
October 4, 2018 8:22 am ET