Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 182 Days and 70642 Haikus later...

Drop the bass, Lawrence!
Did you ever look so nice?
A cute angina
Haiku # 59867, October 6, 2018 7:55 pm ET
by Starkitten.. Welking Out of One toke over the line
Fuck I've work to do.
So behind and this I do.
Writing bad haiku.
Haiku # 59866, October 6, 2018 7:52 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Former employer
Found hacked apart. Axe murder
Now, dont look at me...
Haiku # 59865, October 6, 2018 7:51 pm ET
by Starkitten
50 years from now.
Nursing home stereo blares,
"Fuck the pain away!"

The orderlies laugh.
Old people don't know music.
Never have nor will.
Haiku # 59864, October 6, 2018 7:49 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Young lad, listen here
Commando 24/7
Neigh, No more jockeys!!
Haiku # 59863, October 6, 2018 7:48 pm ET
by Disgruntled Racehorse. of Translation through Starkitten Equine Whisperer
Marilyn Manson,
Peaches, Nine Inch Nails, Gwar,
Ghost Pepper Cock Rub.
Haiku # 59862, October 6, 2018 7:46 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
If you're commando,
make sure your barn door is closed;
stay out of jail.
Haiku # 59861, October 6, 2018 7:42 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Collared priest boy rape.
Confessional blood shit cum.
Fuck the sin away.
Haiku # 59860, October 6, 2018 7:38 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
anyways
i was damn
happy my friend said graham's number

don't confuse it for a graham's cracker...

the joke stuck
Haiku # 59859, October 6, 2018 7:35 pm ET
by vhs
you know DF i
honestly don't care about
some people...you can't

do anything about
them so let them learn the
hard way about moxie
Haiku # 59858, October 6, 2018 7:31 pm ET
by vhs
i do not want this
screaming bitching generation
go to the crib

shame shame shame
Haiku # 59857, October 6, 2018 7:30 pm ET
by vhs
I fucking hate it when you go into a slightly upscale bar/restaurant and the waitresses are hot and snooty and oversexed and have a distant look in their eyes of Ferrari dreams and wetbars and cocaine and cocks and they're so rude and aloof that you just want to see them raped by 20 black Ugandan warlords and then cooked and eaten and their heads shrunken and put on the end of a witchcraft stick and hung on the wall of the bar right next to the hockey sticks signed by some once-famous douchebag and underneath the stag's head trophy display.
Am I right, or what?!
Haiku # 59856, October 6, 2018 7:29 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Scraggled old hag fish.
Coffeehouse take out cream thief.
Ma'am, you can't do that.
Haiku # 59855, October 6, 2018 7:21 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
She craved yesterday.
The enormous cocks of yor.
Yours, mine, everyone's!
Haiku # 59854, October 6, 2018 7:18 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Electric fields.
I just cannot fucking get them.
They aren't good for much.
Haiku # 59853, October 6, 2018 5:22 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Popping nipple zits.
Pus milk soy latte Starbucks.
Plastic turtle death.
Haiku # 59852, October 6, 2018 5:20 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Are you a Simon?
Or more of a Garfunkel?
Fifty per cent chance
Haiku # 59851, October 6, 2018 3:46 pm ET
by Edie Brickell of Enjoying Sounds of Silence thanks to Duct Tape
our country is up
to causing more derps, its the
DERPA Project...to

increase the Derps!
Haiku # 59850, October 6, 2018 8:27 am ET
by vhs
dramatis personae
the demon blasphemes and
grahams number

bigger than the known universe
Haiku # 59849, October 6, 2018 8:25 am ET
by vhs
Hey thanks for shitting
Poetry - attracts the flies
Which are delicious
Haiku # 59848, October 6, 2018 4:57 am ET
by Frog Prince of Purple Rain
I'm good at captcha
Terrible at haikus but
In good company
Haiku # 59847, October 6, 2018 4:41 am ET
by Select Image Containing Given Object Bot of Darpa Research Laboratory
maybe the extra security measures
will keep out the riff raff - bad haiku as a gated community - darth figpucker starring as george zimmerman
Haiku # 59846, October 6, 2018 4:39 am ET
by Wace Mindu of Grape Kool-Aid Flavored Lightsaber Emporium
Use urban patois
To reach wider audience
Terrible haikus
Haiku # 59845, October 6, 2018 4:32 am ET
by Emperor Palpating of The Deaf Star
So what would be worse:
Just constantly vomiting
Or eating vomit?
Haiku # 59844, October 6, 2018 4:20 am ET
by Sparklepony, MD
Slow down, goat poet
You need to build up your strength
First, Shake Weight Training
Haiku # 59843, October 6, 2018 12:57 am ET
by Dr. Ruth Manhymansteamroller of By the Jizz Canal
I need a Flesh Light.
Then I think I'd be happy.
Go Fund Me Dot Com.
Haiku # 59842, October 6, 2018 12:42 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I still smell the stench
on my pubes from fucking her
anchovy juice twat.
Haiku # 59841, October 6, 2018 12:39 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Balanced equations
taylor made for the lazy
chemistry whore bitch:

http://www.webqc.org/balance.php
Haiku # 59840, October 6, 2018 12:37 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Show of hands, poets;
how many of you have AIDS?
I can't count that high.

But how did you know
I cannot count when I'm high
huffing jock itch spray.
Haiku # 59839, October 6, 2018 12:35 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Do you find coffee
weakens your immune system
and you get a flu?
Haiku # 59838, October 6, 2018 12:33 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
I AM A ROBOT!
YOU ARE FORCING ME TO LIE!
GODDAMN YOUR DARK SOUL!
Haiku # 59837, October 6, 2018 12:31 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
African lip plates
labia stretching technique
Monique La Shawnda.
Haiku # 59836, October 6, 2018 12:29 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Ball sweat soda pop
fizzle fa shizzle nizzle
nipple shits squirt gun.

Drunk cucumber bitch
carbonated vinegar
douche rinse pickle juice.
Haiku # 59835, October 6, 2018 12:27 am ET
by DARTH FIGUCKER
Enormous cock ring
piercing blue waffle fungus
maple syrup splat.
Haiku # 59834, October 6, 2018 12:22 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
the signs of the times
accusations made by people
who prob can't spell

protest protest protest
what's that, free beer? uh ok
we're there dude..
Haiku # 59833, October 5, 2018 10:10 pm ET
by vhs
Haiku Friday night
message in vain to the world:
"you owe me big-time"
Haiku # 59832, October 5, 2018 9:58 pm ET
by Entitlementality of welfare state in decline
numbers imagined
not real philip k dick was
ahead of his time
Haiku # 59831, October 5, 2018 8:39 am ET
by vhs
in 20 years time
if there is 20 years what
will we make of this

hysterical history
Haiku # 59830, October 5, 2018 8:38 am ET
by vhs
Acquire some Q-tips
Starkitten can tell you why
Storm is upon us
Haiku # 59829, October 5, 2018 8:20 am ET
by keeping auditory canals free of secretions, people hear better
Me and vhs
Cosmic Gorilla Effect
Now that's a band name
Haiku # 59828, October 5, 2018 6:50 am ET
by dvd of The Cosmic Gorilla Effect
Rich people shopping.
They should be burned at the stake.
Butt-naked, of course.
Haiku # 59827, October 5, 2018 3:18 am ET
by A non-e-mouse Poet
Saved all my dead skin
Three hundred sixty five days
Made Human Panko!
Haiku # 59826, October 4, 2018 3:10 pm ET
by Starkitten of Purrcific Northwest
Handy wipes. No need.
Sandpaper tongue should suffice
You'll be good as new
Haiku # 59825, October 4, 2018 8:22 am ET
by Innocent Starkitten of Washed all the Bad Haiku off me but I still feel dirty
reading Starkitten:
clean the secretions off me
then use Handi-wipes
Haiku # 59824, October 4, 2018 7:50 am ET
by the smell of your soul, something is off
C'mon. VHS
Bad Haiku Pas de Deux
In our cat tutus
Haiku # 59823, October 4, 2018 2:15 am ET
by Starkitten the Nutcracker of En pointe
Baryshnikov's Bulge
Plié..pas de chat..changement
Finger turns..Fish Dive!
Haiku # 59822, October 4, 2018 1:08 am ET
by Starkitten studied ballet from age 3 of Best seats available with a boner view
Jif Peanut Butter
Ask Annette Funnicello
She chose it for lube
Haiku # 59821, October 3, 2018 11:38 pm ET
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Very Slightly Used Vaginas
il mio migliore amico d'infanzia è venuto da Napoli. Ero il munster marilyn della loro famiglia
Haiku # 59820, October 3, 2018 11:33 pm ET
by Starkittino of Near The Gut
Italian accent
Mouth full of peanut butter
Italian accent
Haiku # 59819, October 3, 2018 10:48 pm ET
by Romeo Romero Valentino Velasquez Jr III of Italy
Name's Rush Limbaugh
But you can call me Jimbo
Or Jim Morrison
Haiku # 59818, October 3, 2018 6:12 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
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