maybe the extra security measures
will keep out the riff raff - bad haiku as a gated community - darth figpucker starring as george zimmerman
by Wace Mindu of Grape Kool-Aid Flavored Lightsaber Emporium 
 
			
Use urban patois
To reach wider audience
Terrible haikus
by Emperor Palpating of The Deaf Star 
 
			
So what would be worse:
Just constantly vomiting
Or eating vomit?
by Sparklepony, MD
 
			
Slow down, goat poet
You need to build up your strength
First, Shake Weight Training
by Dr. Ruth Manhymansteamroller of By the Jizz Canal 
 
			
I need a Flesh Light.
Then I think I'd be happy.
Go Fund Me Dot Com.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
 
			
I still smell the stench
on my pubes from fucking her
anchovy juice twat.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
 
			
Balanced equations
taylor made for the lazy
chemistry whore bitch:
http://www.webqc.org/balance.php
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
 
			
Show of hands, poets;
how many of you have AIDS?
I can't count that high.
But how did you know
I cannot count when I'm high
huffing jock itch spray.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
 
			
Do you find coffee
weakens your immune system
and you get a flu?
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
 
			
I AM A ROBOT!
YOU ARE FORCING ME TO LIE!
GODDAMN YOUR DARK SOUL!
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
 
			
African lip plates
labia stretching technique
Monique La Shawnda.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
 
			
Ball sweat soda pop
fizzle fa shizzle nizzle
nipple shits squirt gun.
Drunk cucumber bitch
carbonated vinegar
douche rinse pickle juice.
by DARTH FIGUCKER
 
			
Enormous cock ring
piercing blue waffle fungus
maple syrup splat.
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
 
			
the signs of the times
accusations made by people
who prob can't spell
protest protest protest
what's that, free beer?  uh ok
we're there dude..
by vhs
 
			
Haiku Friday night
message in vain to the world:
"you owe me big-time"
by Entitlementality of welfare state in decline 
 
			
numbers imagined
not real philip k dick was
ahead of his time
by vhs
 
			
in 20 years time
if there is 20 years what
will we make of this
hysterical history
by vhs
 
			
Acquire some Q-tips
Starkitten can tell you why
Storm is upon us
by keeping auditory canals free of secretions, people hear better 
 
			
Me and vhs
Cosmic Gorilla Effect
Now that's a band name
by dvd of The Cosmic Gorilla Effect 
 
			
Rich people shopping.
They should be burned at the stake.
Butt-naked, of course.
by A non-e-mouse Poet
 
			
Saved all my dead skin 
Three hundred sixty five days
Made Human Panko!
by Starkitten  of Purrcific Northwest 
 
			
Handy wipes. No need.
Sandpaper tongue should suffice
You'll be good as new
by Innocent Starkitten of Washed all the Bad Haiku off me but I still feel dirty  
 
			
reading Starkitten:
clean the secretions off me
then use Handi-wipes
by the smell  of your soul, something is off 
 
			
C'mon. VHS 
Bad Haiku Pas de Deux
In our cat tutus
by Starkitten the Nutcracker of En pointe 
 
			
Baryshnikov's Bulge
Plié..pas de chat..changement
Finger turns..Fish Dive!
by Starkitten studied ballet from age 3  of Best seats available with a boner view 
 
			
Jif Peanut Butter
Ask Annette Funnicello
She chose it for lube
by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Very Slightly Used Vaginas 
 
			
il mio migliore amico d'infanzia è venuto da Napoli. Ero il munster marilyn della loro famiglia
by Starkittino of Near The Gut 
 
			
Italian accent
Mouth full of peanut butter
Italian accent
by Romeo Romero Valentino Velasquez Jr III of Italy 
 
			
Name's Rush Limbaugh 
But you can call me Jimbo
Or Jim Morrison
by Anonymous Poet
 
			
Yo, Soda Guru
Booger Lady, Wanda Oneshirt
You're all invited
by Throwing a party
 
			
We need more Psy-Ops
Please. We aren't confused enough.
Global Psy-Ops. More
by polylectic illusions of choice, Truth becomes clearer 
 
			
Earthquake coming soon
My whisker detected it
Why can't God be nice?
by FraidyCat
 
			
Calamine Lotion
Meow Starkitten paint body
Think Pink! Pink Panther!!
by Starkitten 
 
			
Cold, Miserable Orb
Hahahahahahaha
Hahahahaha
by Hahahahahaha of Hahahahaha 
 
			
just think smashing doors
and windows as a form of
protest, uncivil....
temper tantrum
by vhs
 
			
Nothing to see here
Airing out my vagina
In the noonday sun
by Taking natural steps to reduce carbon cuntprint of Pacific Northwest Very Slightly Used Vaginas 
 
			
Stranded in Whole Foods
Lots of Liberal feminists
This place is scary
by grey-haired Amazons of Whole Foods 
 
			
why do i have a
thing for betamax go and
tell me whya it so?
by vhs
 
			
Plastic Dinosaurs 
Posed in the cream cheese frosting 
Carrot Cake. My way.
by Starkitten wanting to eat round food like cakes and quiche of Some byway along the Anka Highway. 
 
			
Those Demodex Mites
They fuck and poop on your face
Now I feel dirty
by Pie in the face gag of And I do mean gag 
 
			
Preparing it now
Canada's National Dish
Kraft Macaroni
by By Passive Aggression appearing politr of Chef Starkitten 
 
			
Radar: Incoming!
Compromised immune system
Starkitten fighting
by MRSA
 
			
Starkitten looks up
Massive barrage of Haiku;
Ducks back down in trench
by airborne unit of Starkitten support 
 
			
Spooky and lifeless
All quiet on Haiku front
Craters and rubble
by Mid-October, all of the traitors will be detained 
 
			
I don't give a F#@K
at all what Snopes has to say.
They're irrelevant
by Snope this
 
			
what happened? all i
know is things are quieter
and now im concerned
by vhs of i hope kitten is ok 
 
			
Room 575
Bad Haiku Infirmary 
Patient: Starkitten
by Praying to Ashvins for healing 
 
			
system rolls out and
likes to shut down and give me
a bit of a hard time mate
by vhs of i need to eat more vegemite 
 
			
something about no
excuses, do not quit dang
all on a t shirt!
by vhs of motivational! 
 
			
shine on you crazy diamond
by vhs