BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
68 Days
69682 Haikus
Show of hands, poets;
how many of you have AIDS?
I can't count that high.

But how did you know
I cannot count when I'm high
huffing jock itch spray.
Haiku #59839, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:35 am ET

Do you find coffee
weakens your immune system
and you get a flu?
Haiku #59838, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:33 am ET

Haiku #59837, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:31 am ET

African lip plates
labia stretching technique
Monique La Shawnda.
Haiku #59836, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:29 am ET

Ball sweat soda pop
fizzle fa shizzle nizzle
nipple shits squirt gun.

Drunk cucumber bitch
carbonated vinegar
douche rinse pickle juice.
Haiku #59835, by DARTH FIGUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:27 am ET

Enormous cock ring
piercing blue waffle fungus
maple syrup splat.
Haiku #59834, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
October 6, 2018 12:22 am ET

the signs of the times
accusations made by people
who prob can't spell

protest protest protest
what's that, free beer? uh ok
we're there dude..
Haiku #59833, by vhs
October 5, 2018 10:10 pm ET

Haiku Friday night
message in vain to the world:
"you owe me big-time"
Haiku #59832, by Entitlementality of welfare state in decline
October 5, 2018 9:58 pm ET

numbers imagined
not real philip k dick was
ahead of his time
Haiku #59831, by vhs
October 5, 2018 8:39 am ET

in 20 years time
if there is 20 years what
will we make of this

hysterical history
Haiku #59830, by vhs
October 5, 2018 8:38 am ET

Acquire some Q-tips
Starkitten can tell you why
Storm is upon us
Haiku #59829, by keeping auditory canals free of secretions, people hear better
October 5, 2018 8:20 am ET

Me and vhs
Cosmic Gorilla Effect
Now that's a band name
Haiku #59828, by dvd of The Cosmic Gorilla Effect
October 5, 2018 6:50 am ET

Rich people shopping.
They should be burned at the stake.
Butt-naked, of course.
Haiku #59827, by A non-e-mouse Poet
October 5, 2018 3:18 am ET

Saved all my dead skin
Three hundred sixty five days
Made Human Panko!
Haiku #59826, by Starkitten of Purrcific Northwest
October 4, 2018 3:10 pm ET

Handy wipes. No need.
Sandpaper tongue should suffice
You'll be good as new
Haiku #59825, by Innocent Starkitten of Washed all the Bad Haiku off me but I still feel dirty
October 4, 2018 8:22 am ET

reading Starkitten:
clean the secretions off me
then use Handi-wipes
Haiku #59824, by the smell of your soul, something is off
October 4, 2018 7:50 am ET

C'mon. VHS
Bad Haiku Pas de Deux
In our cat tutus
Haiku #59823, by Starkitten the Nutcracker of En pointe
October 4, 2018 2:15 am ET

Baryshnikov's Bulge
Plié..pas de chat..changement
Finger turns..Fish Dive!
Haiku #59822, by Starkitten studied ballet from age 3 of Best seats available with a boner view
October 4, 2018 1:08 am ET

Jif Peanut Butter
Ask Annette Funnicello
She chose it for lube
Haiku #59821, by Starkitten of Pacific Northwest Very Slightly Used Vaginas
October 3, 2018 11:38 pm ET

il mio migliore amico d'infanzia è venuto da Napoli. Ero il munster marilyn della loro famiglia
Haiku #59820, by Starkittino of Near The Gut
October 3, 2018 11:33 pm ET

Italian accent
Mouth full of peanut butter
Italian accent
Haiku #59819, by Romeo Romero Valentino Velasquez Jr III of Italy
October 3, 2018 10:48 pm ET

Name's Rush Limbaugh
But you can call me Jimbo
Or Jim Morrison
Haiku #59818, by Anonymous Poet
October 3, 2018 6:12 pm ET

Yo, Soda Guru
Booger Lady, Wanda Oneshirt
You're all invited
Haiku #59817, by Throwing a party
October 3, 2018 6:05 pm ET

We need more Psy-Ops
Please. We aren't confused enough.
Global Psy-Ops. More
Haiku #59816, by polylectic illusions of choice, Truth becomes clearer
October 3, 2018 1:43 pm ET

Earthquake coming soon
My whisker detected it
Why can't God be nice?
Haiku #59815, by FraidyCat
October 3, 2018 1:08 pm ET

Calamine Lotion
Meow Starkitten paint body
Think Pink! Pink Panther!!
Haiku #59814, by Starkitten
October 3, 2018 12:16 am ET

Cold, Miserable Orb
Haiku #59813, by Hahahahahaha of Hahahahaha
October 2, 2018 11:56 pm ET

just think smashing doors
and windows as a form of
protest, uncivil....

temper tantrum
Haiku #59812, by vhs
October 2, 2018 11:09 pm ET

Nothing to see here
Airing out my vagina
In the noonday sun
Haiku #59811, by Taking natural steps to reduce carbon cuntprint of Pacific Northwest Very Slightly Used Vaginas
October 2, 2018 7:03 pm ET

Stranded in Whole Foods
Lots of Liberal feminists
This place is scary
Haiku #59810, by grey-haired Amazons of Whole Foods
October 2, 2018 3:38 pm ET

why do i have a
thing for betamax go and
tell me whya it so?
Haiku #59809, by vhs
October 2, 2018 11:14 am ET

Plastic Dinosaurs
Posed in the cream cheese frosting
Carrot Cake. My way.
Haiku #59808, by Starkitten wanting to eat round food like cakes and quiche of Some byway along the Anka Highway.
October 2, 2018 5:43 am ET

Those Demodex Mites
They fuck and poop on your face
Now I feel dirty
Haiku #59807, by Pie in the face gag of And I do mean gag
October 2, 2018 1:27 am ET

Preparing it now
Canada's National Dish
Kraft Macaroni
Haiku #59806, by By Passive Aggression appearing politr of Chef Starkitten
October 2, 2018 1:20 am ET

Radar: Incoming!
Compromised immune system
Starkitten fighting
Haiku #59805, by MRSA
October 1, 2018 11:30 pm ET

Starkitten looks up
Massive barrage of Haiku;
Ducks back down in trench
Haiku #59804, by airborne unit of Starkitten support
October 1, 2018 5:21 pm ET

Spooky and lifeless
All quiet on Haiku front
Craters and rubble
Haiku #59803, by Mid-October, all of the traitors will be detained
October 1, 2018 5:17 pm ET

I don't give a F#@K
at all what Snopes has to say.
They're irrelevant
Haiku #59802, by Snope this
October 1, 2018 8:57 am ET

what happened? all i
know is things are quieter
and now im concerned
Haiku #59801, by vhs of i hope kitten is ok
October 1, 2018 8:31 am ET

Room 575
Bad Haiku Infirmary
Patient: Starkitten
Haiku #59800, by Praying to Ashvins for healing
October 1, 2018 12:08 am ET

system rolls out and
likes to shut down and give me
a bit of a hard time mate
Haiku #59799, by vhs of i need to eat more vegemite
September 30, 2018 5:43 pm ET

something about no
excuses, do not quit dang
all on a t shirt!
Haiku #59798, by vhs of motivational!
September 30, 2018 11:13 am ET

shine on you crazy diamond
Haiku #59797, by vhs
September 30, 2018 10:15 am ET

Friend of Starkitten
Wow you like early Pink Floyd
Lucifer Sam yes
Haiku #59796, by posting bad haiku you become frenemy of humanity
September 30, 2018 7:46 am ET

Happy housecat Syd Barrett
Always by my side
Haiku #59795, by Starkitten of Leaning out of the window
September 30, 2018 3:26 am ET

Sadiq Khan knighted by Queen
Whoops beheaded him
Haiku #59794, by Tommy Robinson of Islamic State United Kingdom (ISUK)
September 30, 2018 12:19 am ET

Tony Orlando
Song for fun guy and fun gal
Haiku #59793, by Piper at the Gates of Yeast of My downstairs dutch oven
September 30, 2018 12:10 am ET

Piper at the gates
and the wind in the willows:
Haiku #59792, by increasing the speed of synaptic connections, the brain is entranced
September 29, 2018 5:26 pm ET

Tony Orlando
had better pay the piper
at the Gates of Dawn
Haiku #59791, by Until the ghost of Syd Barrett escapes purgatory
September 29, 2018 5:20 pm ET

Had to track them down
Just should have tried Branson first
Found the cracks of Dawn
Haiku #59790, by Spy of Cock with a yellow ribbon tied around it
September 29, 2018 4:28 pm ET