BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
7 Days
and
66436 Haikus
later...
Plastic Dinosaurs
Posed in the cream cheese frosting
Carrot Cake. My way.
Haiku #59808, by Starkitten wanting to eat round food like cakes and quiche of Some byway along the Anka Highway.
October 2, 2018 5:43 am ET

Those Demodex Mites
They fuck and poop on your face
Now I feel dirty
Haiku #59807, by Pie in the face gag of And I do mean gag
October 2, 2018 1:27 am ET

Preparing it now
Canada's National Dish
Kraft Macaroni
Haiku #59806, by By Passive Aggression appearing politr of Chef Starkitten
October 2, 2018 1:20 am ET

Radar: Incoming!
Compromised immune system
Starkitten fighting
Haiku #59805, by MRSA
October 1, 2018 11:30 pm ET

Starkitten looks up
Massive barrage of Haiku;
Ducks back down in trench
Haiku #59804, by airborne unit of Starkitten support
October 1, 2018 5:21 pm ET

Spooky and lifeless
All quiet on Haiku front
Craters and rubble
Haiku #59803, by Mid-October, all of the traitors will be detained
October 1, 2018 5:17 pm ET

I don't give a F#@K
at all what Snopes has to say.
They're irrelevant
Haiku #59802, by Snope this
October 1, 2018 8:57 am ET

what happened? all i
know is things are quieter
and now im concerned
Haiku #59801, by vhs of i hope kitten is ok
October 1, 2018 8:31 am ET

Room 575
Bad Haiku Infirmary
Patient: Starkitten
Haiku #59800, by Praying to Ashvins for healing
October 1, 2018 12:08 am ET

system rolls out and
likes to shut down and give me
a bit of a hard time mate
Haiku #59799, by vhs of i need to eat more vegemite
September 30, 2018 5:43 pm ET

something about no
excuses, do not quit dang
all on a t shirt!
Haiku #59798, by vhs of motivational!
September 30, 2018 11:13 am ET

shine on you crazy diamond
Haiku #59797, by vhs
September 30, 2018 10:15 am ET

Friend of Starkitten
Wow you like early Pink Floyd
Lucifer Sam yes
Haiku #59796, by posting bad haiku you become frenemy of humanity
September 30, 2018 7:46 am ET

Reincarnation
Happy housecat Syd Barrett
Always by my side
Haiku #59795, by Starkitten of Leaning out of the window
September 30, 2018 3:26 am ET

Imagination
Sadiq Khan knighted by Queen
Whoops beheaded him
Haiku #59794, by Tommy Robinson of Islamic State United Kingdom (ISUK)
September 30, 2018 12:19 am ET

Tony Orlando
Song for fun guy and fun gal
Um..Candida....ewww
Haiku #59793, by Piper at the Gates of Yeast of My downstairs dutch oven
September 30, 2018 12:10 am ET

Piper at the gates
and the wind in the willows:
psychedelia!
Haiku #59792, by increasing the speed of synaptic connections, the brain is entranced
September 29, 2018 5:26 pm ET

Tony Orlando
had better pay the piper
at the Gates of Dawn
Haiku #59791, by Until the ghost of Syd Barrett escapes purgatory
September 29, 2018 5:20 pm ET

Had to track them down
Just should have tried Branson first
Found the cracks of Dawn
Haiku #59790, by Spy of Cock with a yellow ribbon tied around it
September 29, 2018 4:28 pm ET

My bad! I messed up.
Thought you said twice on the pipe
Tony Orlando
Haiku #59789, by Tony Orlando of At the Gates of Dawn
September 29, 2018 11:59 am ET

the signal was three
times then the cock crowed, i think
dick jokes come soon next
Haiku #59788, by vhs
September 29, 2018 9:02 am ET

At cock's crow we meet
I'll hand over the briefcase
Filled with Bad Haiku
Haiku #59787, by Spy
September 29, 2018 12:17 am ET

it works for me my
friend,tis a postcard from a
time long past indeed
Haiku #59786, by vhs
September 28, 2018 10:29 pm ET

Dreaming yellow light
And pulling me through the glass
Away into sky
Haiku #59785, by MONARCH
September 28, 2018 9:12 pm ET

We could riff on the horror of mortality
And how it turns some into monsters
But all I want to do right now
Is straighten out the websites banner
It's crooked - too much for me to bear
Haiku #59784, by Sparklepony, MD
September 28, 2018 9:08 pm ET

C'mon hop to it
Rustle me up some grub, hon
Pork Chops, Applesauce
Haiku #59783, by Brady Kids of Living Abortions
September 28, 2018 9:07 pm ET

Up in the Heavens
Beyond poo flinging monkeys
Cunnilingus, Harps
Haiku #59782, by Anonymous Poet
September 28, 2018 9:04 pm ET

it is dead flesh with
so many lost memories and
unspoken departures

from places once full
of empty promise yet torn
down, novelty done
Haiku #59781, by vhs
September 28, 2018 8:23 pm ET

usual reaction
has heart attack irl
people here post

sarcastic poems
no response, four weeks that guy
keeps posting himself

over...and over
Haiku #59780, by vhs of what if one of us is dead
September 28, 2018 7:52 pm ET

cyberpenis, the
transhuman fuck machine of
the coming aeon
Haiku #59779, by vhs
September 28, 2018 7:48 pm ET

Cut off all of them
All new Penis Guillotine
Many problems solved
Haiku #59778, by Anonymous Poet
September 28, 2018 5:23 pm ET

Vile and amoral
Profiting from abortion:
Democrats today
Haiku #59777, by the way you deny the Word of God proves that you are DAMNED
September 28, 2018 5:17 pm ET

Just how many times
Can a person have shingles?
At least four so far
Haiku #59776, by Itching and scratching I make matters worse
September 28, 2018 5:06 pm ET

Intricate Folding
Genital Origami
Relaxing Hobby
Haiku #59775, by The time you read this, Gwynneth Paltrow will have laid six golden eggs of Goop
September 28, 2018 4:40 pm ET

Smiling Golden Girls
Sliding down the banister
Senior Sybian
Haiku #59774, by Bea Arthur's stunt double
September 28, 2018 2:56 pm ET

Confuse the deli
Order hairless bologna
One pound shaved thin, please
Haiku #59773, by Mystery Shopper of Lost in the Supermarket
September 28, 2018 2:48 pm ET

Free Wangdoodle Ride
Every Thoreauback Thursday
At World of Walden
Haiku #59772, by Hank Dave
September 28, 2018 2:43 pm ET

Labia Display
Autumn Headstand Festival
Ripe for the Harvest
Haiku #59771, by GuoJing of Terraced Acres of Clams of In the thick of it
September 28, 2018 2:36 pm ET

From the Floating World
She corrects my gaijin views:
My Japanese muse
Haiku #59770, by floating, one ponders the disadvantages of sinking
September 28, 2018 11:53 am ET

Lord, please intervene
In U.S. affairs of state
and in bad Haiku
Haiku #59769, by postponing divine intervention, the wrath of Almighty God gathers intensity
September 28, 2018 11:44 am ET

I gave myself drugs
And passed out on my sofa,
Then gang-raped myself.
Haiku #59768, by Evil Mentor of the Supreme Apointee
September 28, 2018 11:29 am ET

That Japanese muse;
She hides the inspiration
In her Haiku-slot
Haiku #59767, by the old bridge of Nakamura tea-garden at dusk
September 28, 2018 11:22 am ET

My freaking Jap muse:
Kimono-clad, pale white face
Playing Sha mi sen
Haiku #59766, by the murmuring spring waters of Nakamura Prefecture
September 28, 2018 11:01 am ET

Lesbian daleks
Can never know this pleasure:
being a straight man.
Haiku #59765, by Unplug the projected reality of the Matrix AND her vibrator
September 28, 2018 10:38 am ET

Unh, unh, oh baby...
Wait, move your leg over here--
Oh yes...POETRY
Haiku #59764, by sublimating your carnal desire you are assured of sexy inspiration from your muse
September 28, 2018 10:33 am ET

Go on, slap me, bitch.
That was ME with Heidi Klum.
Not Judge Kavanaugh.
Haiku #59763, by Supermodels are in awe of my male prowess, for I am their judge
September 28, 2018 10:27 am ET

Some one take me quick
to Haiku Anonymous.
I'm on a bender...
Haiku #59762, by vomiting verse in the halls of the Poetry Clinic
September 28, 2018 10:16 am ET

Were I the Doctor
I sure would have examined
The lovely Leela
Haiku #59761, by signing my waiver, you are absolved of all rights to question my expertise
September 28, 2018 10:13 am ET

The Tardis: it was
complex Tantric metaphor
Leela as consort (?)
Haiku #59760, by , next to, above, around, inside, along, all prepositions of place
September 28, 2018 10:08 am ET

Now I tell my kids
"Dr. Who was a great show
with old-school effects."
Haiku #59759, by Who What Where When of How
September 28, 2018 10:02 am ET