Bad Haiku

We could riff on the horror of mortality
And how it turns some into monsters
But all I want to do right now
Is straighten out the websites banner
It's crooked - too much for me to bear

Haiku #59784, by Sparklepony, MD
September 28, 2018 9:08 pm ET

C'mon hop to it
Rustle me up some grub, hon
Pork Chops, Applesauce

Haiku #59783, by Brady Kids of Living Abortions
September 28, 2018 9:07 pm ET

Up in the Heavens
Beyond poo flinging monkeys
Cunnilingus, Harps

Haiku #59782, by Anonymous Poet
September 28, 2018 9:04 pm ET

it is dead flesh with
so many lost memories and
unspoken departures

from places once full
of empty promise yet torn
down, novelty done

Haiku #59781, by vhs
September 28, 2018 8:23 pm ET

usual reaction
has heart attack irl
people here post

sarcastic poems
no response, four weeks that guy
keeps posting himself

over...and over

Haiku #59780, by vhs of what if one of us is dead
September 28, 2018 7:52 pm ET

cyberpenis, the
transhuman fuck machine of
the coming aeon

Haiku #59779, by vhs
September 28, 2018 7:48 pm ET

Cut off all of them
All new Penis Guillotine
Many problems solved

Haiku #59778, by Anonymous Poet
September 28, 2018 5:23 pm ET

Vile and amoral
Profiting from abortion:
Democrats today

Haiku #59777, by the way you deny the Word of God proves that you are DAMNED
September 28, 2018 5:17 pm ET

Just how many times
Can a person have shingles?
At least four so far

Haiku #59776, by Itching and scratching I make matters worse
September 28, 2018 5:06 pm ET

Intricate Folding
Genital Origami
Relaxing Hobby

Haiku #59775, by The time you read this, Gwynneth Paltrow will have laid six golden eggs of Goop
September 28, 2018 4:40 pm ET

Smiling Golden Girls
Sliding down the banister
Senior Sybian

Haiku #59774, by Bea Arthur's stunt double
September 28, 2018 2:56 pm ET

Confuse the deli
Order hairless bologna
One pound shaved thin, please

Haiku #59773, by Mystery Shopper of Lost in the Supermarket
September 28, 2018 2:48 pm ET

Free Wangdoodle Ride
Every Thoreauback Thursday
At World of Walden

Haiku #59772, by Hank Dave
September 28, 2018 2:43 pm ET

Labia Display
Autumn Headstand Festival
Ripe for the Harvest

Haiku #59771, by GuoJing of Terraced Acres of Clams of In the thick of it
September 28, 2018 2:36 pm ET

From the Floating World
She corrects my gaijin views:
My Japanese muse

Haiku #59770, by floating, one ponders the disadvantages of sinking
September 28, 2018 11:53 am ET

Lord, please intervene
In U.S. affairs of state
and in bad Haiku

Haiku #59769, by postponing divine intervention, the wrath of Almighty God gathers intensity
September 28, 2018 11:44 am ET

I gave myself drugs
And passed out on my sofa,
Then gang-raped myself.

Haiku #59768, by Evil Mentor of the Supreme Apointee
September 28, 2018 11:29 am ET

That Japanese muse;
She hides the inspiration
In her Haiku-slot

Haiku #59767, by the old bridge of Nakamura tea-garden at dusk
September 28, 2018 11:22 am ET

My freaking Jap muse:
Kimono-clad, pale white face
Playing Sha mi sen

Haiku #59766, by the murmuring spring waters of Nakamura Prefecture
September 28, 2018 11:01 am ET

Lesbian daleks
Can never know this pleasure:
being a straight man.

Haiku #59765, by Unplug the projected reality of the Matrix AND her vibrator
September 28, 2018 10:38 am ET

Unh, unh, oh baby...
Wait, move your leg over here--
Oh yes...POETRY

Haiku #59764, by sublimating your carnal desire you are assured of sexy inspiration from your muse
September 28, 2018 10:33 am ET

Go on, slap me, bitch.
That was ME with Heidi Klum.
Not Judge Kavanaugh.

Haiku #59763, by Supermodels are in awe of my male prowess, for I am their judge
September 28, 2018 10:27 am ET

Some one take me quick
to Haiku Anonymous.
I'm on a bender...

Haiku #59762, by vomiting verse in the halls of the Poetry Clinic
September 28, 2018 10:16 am ET

Were I the Doctor
I sure would have examined
The lovely Leela

Haiku #59761, by signing my waiver, you are absolved of all rights to question my expertise
September 28, 2018 10:13 am ET

The Tardis: it was
complex Tantric metaphor
Leela as consort (?)

Haiku #59760, by , next to, above, around, inside, along, all prepositions of place
September 28, 2018 10:08 am ET

Now I tell my kids
"Dr. Who was a great show
with old-school effects."

Haiku #59759, by Who What Where When of How
September 28, 2018 10:02 am ET

i dunno, the fem
doc, so many guys going
eww...but i will watch

her...oh...brilliant!

Haiku #59758, by vhs
September 28, 2018 9:03 am ET

my you have a long
scarf...would you like a jelly
baby? boy would i

Haiku #59757, by vhs of it is bigger on the inside
September 28, 2018 8:26 am ET

They say Tom was gay,
though he had the best women.
years later: who knew?

Haiku #59756, by the good doctor's side, beware of Leela's savage beauty
September 28, 2018 8:08 am ET

Tomb of Rasselam:
recalling fragments of that
weird Who episode

Haiku #59755, by of by of by by of by of BUY NOW
September 28, 2018 8:04 am ET

That freaking Leela
always got me excited.
She was the Doctor's

Haiku #59754, by the melody of the theme, we knew it was Who
September 28, 2018 8:01 am ET

you you you are are
an oppresssss.....orrrrr musst ...deee...stroooyyy
maaaleeee wwwhhhittteee...cis gen...dooor...

EXTERMINATE

Haiku #59753, by lesbian daleks of the world of as presented by vhs
September 28, 2018 3:49 am ET

these people were
programmed programmed malfunction
must must must.....re.........sist....

Haiku #59752, by vhs
September 28, 2018 3:47 am ET

interner molochs
devour our children as
sacrifice, burning

Haiku #59751, by vhs
September 28, 2018 3:45 am ET

defiant leftist
destroys her oponent, then
turns her hate within

Haiku #59750, by vhs
September 28, 2018 3:44 am ET

malfunction at night
low does of blue light grounded
rest is all we need

Haiku #59749, by vhs
September 28, 2018 3:43 am ET

the world still spins till
the last day when it all ends
we are as dust mites

Haiku #59748, by vhs
September 28, 2018 3:42 am ET

Actually, my friend
I just checked my underpants
We had relations

Haiku #59747, by Surprised of But not as surprised as you
September 28, 2018 1:39 am ET

My haiku brushes
Against yours - now your haikus
Smell like my haikus

Haiku #59746, by Lion Some Day
September 28, 2018 12:21 am ET

I've checked the records
One similar incident
Involved Heidi Klum

Haiku #59745, by Bitchslap Watch of 1-800-BITCHSLAP
September 27, 2018 11:21 pm ET

Some guy in New Zealand
Bitchslapped with an octopus
By a freaking seal

Haiku #59744, by Bitchslap Watch of 1-800-BITCHSLAP
September 27, 2018 11:18 pm ET

How about this group?
The Beatles and their spouses
What would you call it?

Haiku #59743, by Octopus' Garden?
September 27, 2018 10:54 pm ET

Agnetha Faltskog:
your voice combats this bad world.
ABBA unto death!

Haiku #59742, by Annifrid, Bjorn, Benny and Agnetha of the 1970's
September 27, 2018 10:05 pm ET

They must be dwarves then
I counted seven hards on
They were garden gnomes

Haiku #59741, by Anonymous Poet
September 27, 2018 9:20 pm ET

you mean the guy from
game of thrones there the cool
midget guy right there???

no midgets are cool

Haiku #59740, by vhs
September 27, 2018 9:13 pm ET

We have all been raped
By TV and internet
And horny midgets

Haiku #59739, by Anonymous Poet
September 27, 2018 9:07 pm ET

I'm fucking tired
of these victim people on
tv coming out and

saying he raped me
then getting their accused killed
and getting tv contracts

Haiku #59738, by vhs
September 27, 2018 8:51 pm ET

i may be someone
who gos through trials now but will
see what happens next

Haiku #59737, by vhs
September 27, 2018 8:25 pm ET

such are the many
voices of legion speaking
till they are cast out

Haiku #59736, by vhs
September 27, 2018 8:23 pm ET

Balut or the egg
Which came first? Colonel Sanders.
He choked his chicken.

Haiku #59735, by Nerd Manager of KFC
September 27, 2018 8:08 pm ET