Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 109 Days and 70186 Haikus later...

We could riff on the horror of mortality
And how it turns some into monsters
But all I want to do right now
Is straighten out the websites banner
It's crooked - too much for me to bear
Haiku # 59784, September 28, 2018 9:08 pm ET
by Sparklepony, MD
C'mon hop to it
Rustle me up some grub, hon
Pork Chops, Applesauce
Haiku # 59783, September 28, 2018 9:07 pm ET
by Brady Kids of Living Abortions
Up in the Heavens
Beyond poo flinging monkeys
Cunnilingus, Harps
Haiku # 59782, September 28, 2018 9:04 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
it is dead flesh with
so many lost memories and
unspoken departures

from places once full
of empty promise yet torn
down, novelty done
Haiku # 59781, September 28, 2018 8:23 pm ET
by vhs
usual reaction
has heart attack irl
people here post

sarcastic poems
no response, four weeks that guy
keeps posting himself

over...and over
Haiku # 59780, September 28, 2018 7:52 pm ET
by vhs of what if one of us is dead
cyberpenis, the
transhuman fuck machine of
the coming aeon
Haiku # 59779, September 28, 2018 7:48 pm ET
by vhs
Cut off all of them
All new Penis Guillotine
Many problems solved
Haiku # 59778, September 28, 2018 5:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Vile and amoral
Profiting from abortion:
Democrats today
Haiku # 59777, September 28, 2018 5:17 pm ET
by the way you deny the Word of God proves that you are DAMNED
Just how many times
Can a person have shingles?
At least four so far
Haiku # 59776, September 28, 2018 5:06 pm ET
by Itching and scratching I make matters worse
Intricate Folding
Genital Origami
Relaxing Hobby
Haiku # 59775, September 28, 2018 4:40 pm ET
by The time you read this, Gwynneth Paltrow will have laid six golden eggs of Goop
Smiling Golden Girls
Sliding down the banister
Senior Sybian
Haiku # 59774, September 28, 2018 2:56 pm ET
by Bea Arthur's stunt double
Confuse the deli
Order hairless bologna
One pound shaved thin, please
Haiku # 59773, September 28, 2018 2:48 pm ET
by Mystery Shopper of Lost in the Supermarket
Free Wangdoodle Ride
Every Thoreauback Thursday
At World of Walden
Haiku # 59772, September 28, 2018 2:43 pm ET
by Hank Dave
Labia Display
Autumn Headstand Festival
Ripe for the Harvest
Haiku # 59771, September 28, 2018 2:36 pm ET
by GuoJing of Terraced Acres of Clams of In the thick of it
From the Floating World
She corrects my gaijin views:
My Japanese muse
Haiku # 59770, September 28, 2018 11:53 am ET
by floating, one ponders the disadvantages of sinking
Lord, please intervene
In U.S. affairs of state
and in bad Haiku
Haiku # 59769, September 28, 2018 11:44 am ET
by postponing divine intervention, the wrath of Almighty God gathers intensity
I gave myself drugs
And passed out on my sofa,
Then gang-raped myself.
Haiku # 59768, September 28, 2018 11:29 am ET
by Evil Mentor of the Supreme Apointee
That Japanese muse;
She hides the inspiration
In her Haiku-slot
Haiku # 59767, September 28, 2018 11:22 am ET
by the old bridge of Nakamura tea-garden at dusk
My freaking Jap muse:
Kimono-clad, pale white face
Playing Sha mi sen
Haiku # 59766, September 28, 2018 11:01 am ET
by the murmuring spring waters of Nakamura Prefecture
Lesbian daleks
Can never know this pleasure:
being a straight man.
Haiku # 59765, September 28, 2018 10:38 am ET
by Unplug the projected reality of the Matrix AND her vibrator
Unh, unh, oh baby...
Wait, move your leg over here--
Oh yes...POETRY
Haiku # 59764, September 28, 2018 10:33 am ET
by sublimating your carnal desire you are assured of sexy inspiration from your muse
Go on, slap me, bitch.
That was ME with Heidi Klum.
Not Judge Kavanaugh.
Haiku # 59763, September 28, 2018 10:27 am ET
by Supermodels are in awe of my male prowess, for I am their judge
Some one take me quick
to Haiku Anonymous.
I'm on a bender...
Haiku # 59762, September 28, 2018 10:16 am ET
by vomiting verse in the halls of the Poetry Clinic
Were I the Doctor
I sure would have examined
The lovely Leela
Haiku # 59761, September 28, 2018 10:13 am ET
by signing my waiver, you are absolved of all rights to question my expertise
The Tardis: it was
complex Tantric metaphor
Leela as consort (?)
Haiku # 59760, September 28, 2018 10:08 am ET
by , next to, above, around, inside, along, all prepositions of place
Now I tell my kids
"Dr. Who was a great show
with old-school effects."
Haiku # 59759, September 28, 2018 10:02 am ET
by Who What Where When of How
i dunno, the fem
doc, so many guys going
eww...but i will watch

her...oh...brilliant!
Haiku # 59758, September 28, 2018 9:03 am ET
by vhs
my you have a long
scarf...would you like a jelly
baby? boy would i
Haiku # 59757, September 28, 2018 8:26 am ET
by vhs of it is bigger on the inside
They say Tom was gay,
though he had the best women.
years later: who knew?
Haiku # 59756, September 28, 2018 8:08 am ET
by the good doctor's side, beware of Leela's savage beauty
Tomb of Rasselam:
recalling fragments of that
weird Who episode
Haiku # 59755, September 28, 2018 8:04 am ET
by of by of by by of by of BUY NOW
That freaking Leela
always got me excited.
She was the Doctor's
Haiku # 59754, September 28, 2018 8:01 am ET
by the melody of the theme, we knew it was Who
you you you are are
an oppresssss.....orrrrr musst ...deee...stroooyyy
maaaleeee wwwhhhittteee...cis gen...dooor...

EXTERMINATE
Haiku # 59753, September 28, 2018 3:49 am ET
by lesbian daleks of the world of as presented by vhs
these people were
programmed programmed malfunction
must must must.....re.........sist....
Haiku # 59752, September 28, 2018 3:47 am ET
by vhs
interner molochs
devour our children as
sacrifice, burning
Haiku # 59751, September 28, 2018 3:45 am ET
by vhs
defiant leftist
destroys her oponent, then
turns her hate within
Haiku # 59750, September 28, 2018 3:44 am ET
by vhs
malfunction at night
low does of blue light grounded
rest is all we need
Haiku # 59749, September 28, 2018 3:43 am ET
by vhs
the world still spins till
the last day when it all ends
we are as dust mites
Haiku # 59748, September 28, 2018 3:42 am ET
by vhs
Actually, my friend
I just checked my underpants
We had relations
Haiku # 59747, September 28, 2018 1:39 am ET
by Surprised of But not as surprised as you
My haiku brushes
Against yours - now your haikus
Smell like my haikus
Haiku # 59746, September 28, 2018 12:21 am ET
by Lion Some Day
I've checked the records
One similar incident
Involved Heidi Klum
Haiku # 59745, September 27, 2018 11:21 pm ET
by Bitchslap Watch of 1-800-BITCHSLAP
Some guy in New Zealand
Bitchslapped with an octopus
By a freaking seal
Haiku # 59744, September 27, 2018 11:18 pm ET
by Bitchslap Watch of 1-800-BITCHSLAP
How about this group?
The Beatles and their spouses
What would you call it?
Haiku # 59743, September 27, 2018 10:54 pm ET
by Octopus' Garden?
Agnetha Faltskog:
your voice combats this bad world.
ABBA unto death!
Haiku # 59742, September 27, 2018 10:05 pm ET
by Annifrid, Bjorn, Benny and Agnetha of the 1970's
They must be dwarves then
I counted seven hards on
They were garden gnomes
Haiku # 59741, September 27, 2018 9:20 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
you mean the guy from
game of thrones there the cool
midget guy right there???

no midgets are cool
Haiku # 59740, September 27, 2018 9:13 pm ET
by vhs
We have all been raped
By TV and internet
And horny midgets
Haiku # 59739, September 27, 2018 9:07 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I'm fucking tired
of these victim people on
tv coming out and

saying he raped me
then getting their accused killed
and getting tv contracts
Haiku # 59738, September 27, 2018 8:51 pm ET
by vhs
i may be someone
who gos through trials now but will
see what happens next
Haiku # 59737, September 27, 2018 8:25 pm ET
by vhs
such are the many
voices of legion speaking
till they are cast out
Haiku # 59736, September 27, 2018 8:23 pm ET
by vhs
Balut or the egg
Which came first? Colonel Sanders.
He choked his chicken.
Haiku # 59735, September 27, 2018 8:08 pm ET
by Nerd Manager of KFC
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