BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
22 Years
337 Days
and
66187 Haikus
later...
Had to track them down
Just should have tried Branson first
Found the cracks of Dawn
Haiku #59790, by Spy of Cock with a yellow ribbon tied around it
September 29, 2018 4:28 pm ET

My bad! I messed up.
Thought you said twice on the pipe
Tony Orlando
Haiku #59789, by Tony Orlando of At the Gates of Dawn
September 29, 2018 11:59 am ET

the signal was three
times then the cock crowed, i think
dick jokes come soon next
Haiku #59788, by vhs
September 29, 2018 9:02 am ET

At cock's crow we meet
I'll hand over the briefcase
Filled with Bad Haiku
Haiku #59787, by Spy
September 29, 2018 12:17 am ET

it works for me my
friend,tis a postcard from a
time long past indeed
Haiku #59786, by vhs
September 28, 2018 10:29 pm ET

Dreaming yellow light
And pulling me through the glass
Away into sky
Haiku #59785, by MONARCH
September 28, 2018 9:12 pm ET

We could riff on the horror of mortality
And how it turns some into monsters
But all I want to do right now
Is straighten out the websites banner
It's crooked - too much for me to bear
Haiku #59784, by Sparklepony, MD
September 28, 2018 9:08 pm ET

C'mon hop to it
Rustle me up some grub, hon
Pork Chops, Applesauce
Haiku #59783, by Brady Kids of Living Abortions
September 28, 2018 9:07 pm ET

Up in the Heavens
Beyond poo flinging monkeys
Cunnilingus, Harps
Haiku #59782, by Anonymous Poet
September 28, 2018 9:04 pm ET

it is dead flesh with
so many lost memories and
unspoken departures

from places once full
of empty promise yet torn
down, novelty done
Haiku #59781, by vhs
September 28, 2018 8:23 pm ET

usual reaction
has heart attack irl
people here post

sarcastic poems
no response, four weeks that guy
keeps posting himself

over...and over
Haiku #59780, by vhs of what if one of us is dead
September 28, 2018 7:52 pm ET

cyberpenis, the
transhuman fuck machine of
the coming aeon
Haiku #59779, by vhs
September 28, 2018 7:48 pm ET

Cut off all of them
All new Penis Guillotine
Many problems solved
Haiku #59778, by Anonymous Poet
September 28, 2018 5:23 pm ET

Vile and amoral
Profiting from abortion:
Democrats today
Haiku #59777, by the way you deny the Word of God proves that you are DAMNED
September 28, 2018 5:17 pm ET

Just how many times
Can a person have shingles?
At least four so far
Haiku #59776, by Itching and scratching I make matters worse
September 28, 2018 5:06 pm ET

Intricate Folding
Genital Origami
Relaxing Hobby
Haiku #59775, by The time you read this, Gwynneth Paltrow will have laid six golden eggs of Goop
September 28, 2018 4:40 pm ET

Smiling Golden Girls
Sliding down the banister
Senior Sybian
Haiku #59774, by Bea Arthur's stunt double
September 28, 2018 2:56 pm ET

Confuse the deli
Order hairless bologna
One pound shaved thin, please
Haiku #59773, by Mystery Shopper of Lost in the Supermarket
September 28, 2018 2:48 pm ET

Free Wangdoodle Ride
Every Thoreauback Thursday
At World of Walden
Haiku #59772, by Hank Dave
September 28, 2018 2:43 pm ET

Labia Display
Autumn Headstand Festival
Ripe for the Harvest
Haiku #59771, by GuoJing of Terraced Acres of Clams of In the thick of it
September 28, 2018 2:36 pm ET

From the Floating World
She corrects my gaijin views:
My Japanese muse
Haiku #59770, by floating, one ponders the disadvantages of sinking
September 28, 2018 11:53 am ET

Lord, please intervene
In U.S. affairs of state
and in bad Haiku
Haiku #59769, by postponing divine intervention, the wrath of Almighty God gathers intensity
September 28, 2018 11:44 am ET

I gave myself drugs
And passed out on my sofa,
Then gang-raped myself.
Haiku #59768, by Evil Mentor of the Supreme Apointee
September 28, 2018 11:29 am ET

That Japanese muse;
She hides the inspiration
In her Haiku-slot
Haiku #59767, by the old bridge of Nakamura tea-garden at dusk
September 28, 2018 11:22 am ET

My freaking Jap muse:
Kimono-clad, pale white face
Playing Sha mi sen
Haiku #59766, by the murmuring spring waters of Nakamura Prefecture
September 28, 2018 11:01 am ET

Lesbian daleks
Can never know this pleasure:
being a straight man.
Haiku #59765, by Unplug the projected reality of the Matrix AND her vibrator
September 28, 2018 10:38 am ET

Unh, unh, oh baby...
Wait, move your leg over here--
Oh yes...POETRY
Haiku #59764, by sublimating your carnal desire you are assured of sexy inspiration from your muse
September 28, 2018 10:33 am ET

Go on, slap me, bitch.
That was ME with Heidi Klum.
Not Judge Kavanaugh.
Haiku #59763, by Supermodels are in awe of my male prowess, for I am their judge
September 28, 2018 10:27 am ET

Some one take me quick
to Haiku Anonymous.
I'm on a bender...
Haiku #59762, by vomiting verse in the halls of the Poetry Clinic
September 28, 2018 10:16 am ET

Were I the Doctor
I sure would have examined
The lovely Leela
Haiku #59761, by signing my waiver, you are absolved of all rights to question my expertise
September 28, 2018 10:13 am ET

The Tardis: it was
complex Tantric metaphor
Leela as consort (?)
Haiku #59760, by , next to, above, around, inside, along, all prepositions of place
September 28, 2018 10:08 am ET

Now I tell my kids
"Dr. Who was a great show
with old-school effects."
Haiku #59759, by Who What Where When of How
September 28, 2018 10:02 am ET

i dunno, the fem
doc, so many guys going
eww...but i will watch

her...oh...brilliant!
Haiku #59758, by vhs
September 28, 2018 9:03 am ET

my you have a long
scarf...would you like a jelly
baby? boy would i
Haiku #59757, by vhs of it is bigger on the inside
September 28, 2018 8:26 am ET

They say Tom was gay,
though he had the best women.
years later: who knew?
Haiku #59756, by the good doctor's side, beware of Leela's savage beauty
September 28, 2018 8:08 am ET

Tomb of Rasselam:
recalling fragments of that
weird Who episode
Haiku #59755, by of by of by by of by of BUY NOW
September 28, 2018 8:04 am ET

That freaking Leela
always got me excited.
She was the Doctor's
Haiku #59754, by the melody of the theme, we knew it was Who
September 28, 2018 8:01 am ET

you you you are are
an oppresssss.....orrrrr musst ...deee...stroooyyy
maaaleeee wwwhhhittteee...cis gen...dooor...

EXTERMINATE
Haiku #59753, by lesbian daleks of the world of as presented by vhs
September 28, 2018 3:49 am ET

these people were
programmed programmed malfunction
must must must.....re.........sist....
Haiku #59752, by vhs
September 28, 2018 3:47 am ET

interner molochs
devour our children as
sacrifice, burning
Haiku #59751, by vhs
September 28, 2018 3:45 am ET

defiant leftist
destroys her oponent, then
turns her hate within
Haiku #59750, by vhs
September 28, 2018 3:44 am ET

malfunction at night
low does of blue light grounded
rest is all we need
Haiku #59749, by vhs
September 28, 2018 3:43 am ET

the world still spins till
the last day when it all ends
we are as dust mites
Haiku #59748, by vhs
September 28, 2018 3:42 am ET

Actually, my friend
I just checked my underpants
We had relations
Haiku #59747, by Surprised of But not as surprised as you
September 28, 2018 1:39 am ET

My haiku brushes
Against yours - now your haikus
Smell like my haikus
Haiku #59746, by Lion Some Day
September 28, 2018 12:21 am ET

I've checked the records
One similar incident
Involved Heidi Klum
Haiku #59745, by Bitchslap Watch of 1-800-BITCHSLAP
September 27, 2018 11:21 pm ET

Some guy in New Zealand
Bitchslapped with an octopus
By a freaking seal
Haiku #59744, by Bitchslap Watch of 1-800-BITCHSLAP
September 27, 2018 11:18 pm ET

How about this group?
The Beatles and their spouses
What would you call it?
Haiku #59743, by Octopus' Garden?
September 27, 2018 10:54 pm ET

Agnetha Faltskog:
your voice combats this bad world.
ABBA unto death!
Haiku #59742, by Annifrid, Bjorn, Benny and Agnetha of the 1970's
September 27, 2018 10:05 pm ET

They must be dwarves then
I counted seven hards on
They were garden gnomes
Haiku #59741, by Anonymous Poet
September 27, 2018 9:20 pm ET