Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 75 Days and 69841 Haikus later...

Hey organ grinder
I'll show you my banana
Show me your monkey
Haiku # 67854, August 18, 2020 1:50 pm ET
by Jizzumberto of Italy
in this brave new world
narcotics are out of vogue
it hurts me to say
Haiku # 67853, August 18, 2020 9:41 am ET
by ash
What did the haiku say
to the gross limerick?
Le' me rick your barrs.

Of course that last line's
said with Japanese accent
while making squint eyes.
Haiku # 67852, August 18, 2020 9:34 am ET
by dw
Piss off the office.
Replace the coffee with tea.
It's way worse than pea.
Haiku # 67851, August 18, 2020 6:34 am ET
by It's better to be pissed off than pissed on. Or in. of Why did the condom fly across the room? It was pissed off.
Every coffee break
I pee in the office pot
I only drink tea
Haiku # 67850, August 17, 2020 10:30 pm ET
by Bev Ridge of LC
Revolutional update of captchas regignizing package "XRumer 19.0 + XEvil 5.0":

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You can use XEvil 5.0 with any most popular SEO/SMM software: iMacros, XRumer, SERP Parser, GSA SER, RankerX, ZennoPoster, Scrapebox, Senuke, FaucetCollector and more than 100 of other software.

Interested? There are a lot of demo videos about XEvil in YouTube.

Free XEvil Demo available.

See you later!
Haiku # 67849, August 17, 2020 7:20 pm ET
by NatashaDum7830 of Russia
It's now coffee time.
I'm not sure of the region.
Northern Philippines.

And got some fresh milk.
You say big fucking deal.
But you just don't know.

Back in a minute.
God, I'm such a coffee snob.
Christ that's fucking good.
Haiku # 67848, August 17, 2020 7:05 pm ET
by Sllurrrrppppp. Ahhhhhhhh. of Benguet coffee is amazing! But hard to find. Need to get some more of that one.
I bought a cat toy.
It was filled with crushed catnip.
I had to smoke it.

Still recovering.
Need to order more of those.
What strain of catnip?

Or some additive?
Something in it packs a punch.
It's "Made In China".

Ancient mushroom dust?
Dried up tiger testicles?
Likely agent orange.
Haiku # 67847, August 17, 2020 6:45 pm ET
by Hey, times are tough right now. of Cat wasn't interested anyway.
Sure I wanna fuck.
But certainly not with you!
Pigs are more charming.
Haiku # 67846, August 17, 2020 6:36 pm ET
by You've been turned down by Darth Whorendous of Join the Ugly Hall of Shame
Cat toy Yelp reviews
Synastry calculator
Hey, You wanna Fuck?
Haiku # 67845, August 17, 2020 6:03 pm ET
by Baked Apple (cold but theyâ of Kitchen
Old fishing village
Mount Fuji in the distance
Then your dink goes soft
Haiku # 67844, August 17, 2020 1:13 am ET
by Worm Puller of Worms 2 cents
Old fishing village;
Mount Fuji on horizon...
FREE Millie Weaver !
Haiku # 67843, August 16, 2020 7:37 pm ET
by Some Jap Poet of InfoWars
We are Flintstones kids
Ten million strong and growing
Weed in the attic
Haiku # 67842, August 16, 2020 4:29 pm ET
by Felix Toebeans of Porch glider
Just think what that's like.
You cannot reach your boner.
God can be so cruel.
Haiku # 67841, August 16, 2020 2:21 pm ET
by dw
If I were alive
back in the dinosaur times
I'd beat off T-rex.
Haiku # 67840, August 16, 2020 2:18 pm ET
by Want some egg drop soup? of Made it this morning.
Pteradactyl turds.
Quite painful when they hit you.
Fred knows what I mean.
Haiku # 67839, August 16, 2020 2:15 pm ET
by Vitamin Overdose of Glowing Pee Bathroom Light
Silly Putty dink
You do this every Sunday
Funny pages gone
Haiku # 67838, August 16, 2020 11:02 am ET
by Subscriber of Undisclosed
I am my own wife.
That needs flexibility.
Beyond Plastic Man.

Plastic man can stretch
his forskin so much that he
doesn't need condoms.
Haiku # 67837, August 16, 2020 2:44 am ET
by Talk about a money saver!
Do you think at all
About the wonderwall
Unfinished oasis haiku
Haiku # 67836, August 16, 2020 12:23 am ET
by Alexa what's my name again... of Shady Lane
Everything happens.
In a short amount of time.
It's American haiku.
Haiku # 67835, August 16, 2020 12:18 am ET
by notmychairnotmyproblem of Hell (Michigan) sans sartre
I am not your wife
But last time I sucked a cock
I swallowed his soul
Haiku # 67834, August 15, 2020 7:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you are my wife,
then show me your oral skills.
I don't mean speaking.

I'm no easy buy.
If you want me, prove your worth.
You are not worth it.
Haiku # 67833, August 15, 2020 9:56 am ET
by Or if you can beat me in a fart contest. of That would be impressive.
That old white magic:
That Trump Derangement Syndrome
(strange and liberal hate)
Haiku # 67832, August 14, 2020 1:37 pm ET
by Open-Minded Compassion of Progressive Hate
You are Darth's sad wife.
We are ALL Darth's poor, sad wife.
From now on: that's us.
Haiku # 67831, August 14, 2020 10:33 am ET
by Ich Bin Ein Berliner of Berlin
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FlhQrxL5QY

- bikes for losing weight
- bike to lose weight
- riding bicycle
- riding bikes for beginners
- how to wheele
How so much ought to I Ride?
If you're athletics to thin, period (the time you pay biking) matters over the particular distance you travel. meaning that you simply do not essentially got to ride the complete Tour First State France course to shed a number of pounds. Relieved? smart. however do not place away the meter.

As you get snug defrayment longer within the saddle, schedule longer rides throughout the week. If you are doing 3 athletics workouts hebdomadally, complete one short ride (30 minutes), create one ride a moderate period (45 minutes), and set a goal to ride one long tour (60 to a hundred and twenty minutes) hebdomadally.

How Fast ought to I Cycle?
If weight loss is your primary goal, exercise intensity matters over speed. A higher-intensity ride can burn a lot of calories than a lower-intensity ride. the kind of motorbike you ride and also the path you decide on can have an effect on each your intensity (how exhausting you work) and your speed (how quick you travel).


For example, if you're riding an important bicycle on muddy, cross-country trails at twelve miles per hour, you'll likely got to work terribly exhausting. however if you're on a road bike pedaling down a hill, you'll be able to reach that pace with nearly no effort the least bit.

Your best bet? Learn to use a vital sign monitor. The device provides associate degree correct measure of however exhausting you're operating. Aim to figure at seventy to seventy fifth of your most vital sign for many rides.


If you do not wish to take a position during a monitor, used the perceived labour scale instead. On a scale of one to ten (with ten being most exertion), you ought to want you're performing at A level seven. you ought to be respiratory deeply, however not exhausted or out of breath.

Where ought to I Go?
The course you decide on could have the largest impact on the amount of calories you burn as a result of it'll have an effect on each period and intensity. For best results, you wish to settle on a course that enables you to pedal systematically while not taking too several breaks at stoplights or intersections. These short breaks cause your vital sign to drop, take up an excessive amount of sweat time, and reduce the calorie-burning potential of your ride.


Many cities have dedicated continuous bike trails. particularly once you square measure initial beginning out, decide on these safe routes instead of riding on the road. If you do not have access to a motorbike path, it should be value it slow to drive to a location wherever a protracted stretch of quiet road is on the market.


Best Bike for Weight Loss
The best bike to assist you thin is that the one that you simply can ride on a daily basis. It's essential that you simply attempt many designs and notice the one that matches your body.

Road Bike
Some bike riders like a road bike with skinny tires and a sleeker frame. A road bike is lighter and needs less effort once you ride quick.

Road bikes square measure best for sealed surfaces and long, uninterrupted stretches of road.

But some riders do not feel steady on this type of bike. A road bike needs that you simply lean slightly forward whereas you ride. If you've got back problems or considerations regarding safety, this could not be the bike for you.

Cruiser, Mountain or Cross Bike
You may like the comfort and easy a cruiser or a bicycle that has significant, thick tires. These bikes typically supply some suspension and artefact to form the ride easier.

And you're typically ready to maintain a a lot of upright posture once you ride this bike vogue. Also, the thicker tires offer a lot of stability therefore riders usually feel safer on these bikes, particularly if they're unaccustomed athletics.

Electric Bike
If you're unaccustomed athletics or if you intend to use your bike for associate degree extended daily commute, an electrical bike (also known as associate degree e-bike) could be the proper choice for you. Brands like Trek create cycles that you simply ride sort of a normal bike, however you get a lift of help once you would like it.

For example, Trek's Super Commuter provides a snug upright ride with the choice to use eight completely different speeds. If you hit a hill or would like a prospect from strenuous pedaling, you'll be able to interact the Jerom Bos pedal-assist system that helps you sustain speeds of up to twenty seven miles per hour (45 km/h).

Recumbent Bike
Some exercisers use accumbent bikes at the gymnasium, preferring the reclined body position to associate degree upright position that's typical in normal cycles. However, some riders opt for a accumbent bike for his or her outside ride.
Haiku # 67830, August 14, 2020 6:20 am ET
by Tommyanomb of Antarctica
Barbara Bush's sore twat
Dank thin sliced tortoise meat flaps
A man's gotta eat
Haiku # 67829, August 13, 2020 6:44 pm ET
by Rob Graves of Undisclosed
Eating a tortoise
will not make you live longer.
That's unfortunate.

Eat LIKE a tortoise --
veggies, fruits, & stuff like that --
and then you just might.

But then you'll be gay.
For you to be a real man
you must eat some meat.

Hearts of enemies.
Fresh crocodile testes.
Grilled platypus brains.
Haiku # 67828, August 13, 2020 6:27 pm ET
by Trust me, I know!
Craving venison.
Or maybe some fresh bison.
Don't even cook it.
Haiku # 67827, August 13, 2020 5:47 pm ET
by Wolf boy bloody chin. of That time of the month.
You ever wake up
and think, I'll destroy my kids'
lives today? She did.
Haiku # 67826, August 13, 2020 5:38 pm ET
by Whores should not be moms. of Moms should not be whores.
All those that eat pork
have widened piggy noses
and smell like pigs too.

And big fat rednecks
eat mountains of beef products.
You are what you eat.

So eat some pussy
and you'll become a poet.
I'm right, Chewy Chew!

Filthy Goddamn whores.
Every Goddamn one of them.
Just like DaVinci.

Attention seekers.
"Repent TikTok-Man!" said the
Joker's Harlequin.
Haiku # 67825, August 13, 2020 5:25 pm ET
by Allahu Akbar! Oy vay already! of hmmm... I've never tried wild boar. Maybe it's okay.
it isn't all bad.
there's macaroni and cheese
and...that's all i got
Haiku # 67824, August 13, 2020 4:04 pm ET
by scotch of it's good though
Loaded 22
Dildo over the barrel
You talking to me?
Haiku # 67823, August 13, 2020 2:49 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Undisclosed
The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
Haiku # 67822, August 13, 2020 2:33 pm ET
by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
Haiku # 67821, August 13, 2020 2:33 pm ET
by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
They are such fat pigs.
They don't even look human.
Overdosed on pork.
Haiku # 67819, August 13, 2020 6:04 am ET
by DW of Divorce attorney's office.
Just one more tonight:
One more prolonged death-spasm.
Terminal haiku.
Haiku # 67818, August 12, 2020 10:45 pm ET
by Flatlined Line of Lines
Dirty fingernails
Eureka! More syllables
Rectal spelunking
Haiku # 67817, August 12, 2020 8:44 pm ET
by Ben A. Miner of Hollywood/Redwood
Scratch where it itches.
Mine the poetic riches.
Top THIS one, bitches. . . .
Haiku # 67816, August 12, 2020 7:15 pm ET
by Line of Lines
shackled to my desk
forced to endure this cruel fate:
my boss's humming
Haiku # 67815, August 12, 2020 1:29 pm ET
by Office Guy of Close to Suicide
Hey, pull my finger
Try aromatherapy
The smell of a fart
Haiku # 67814, August 12, 2020 8:25 am ET
by Fart Knower of Undisclosed
100 pushups.
And I mean without stopping.
Come on you pussies!
Haiku # 67813, August 11, 2020 10:55 pm ET
by DW of Drill Sergeant Wannabe
Christopher Walken.
That's my choice for president.
Fuck those other guys.
Haiku # 67812, August 11, 2020 10:52 pm ET
by Hidden watches
If you see my ex,
please try to give her covid.
Maybe ebola.
Haiku # 67811, August 11, 2020 10:44 pm ET
by DW
Alligator gar
This fishing expedition
made me shit my pants
Haiku # 67810, August 11, 2020 10:27 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
OH you are so vile.
You have just ruined it all.
Please leave me alone.
Haiku # 67809, August 11, 2020 9:46 pm ET
by Distraught Female of Sobbing Hysterically in Haiku
Take three Hail Marys
And call me in the morning
He spoke, pulling out
Haiku # 67808, August 11, 2020 8:20 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Rectory parking lot
Under old willow
I have heard the wind whisper
"FREE CUNNILINGUS!"
Haiku # 67807, August 11, 2020 5:06 pm ET
by Starkitten
first I tried Tinder
no luck. next on to Grindr-
my asshole is sore
Haiku # 67806, August 11, 2020 8:41 am ET
by HoreToCulture of Brown Town
Sodomized by Freud.
He was psycho analized.
For five hundred bucks.

There are no refunds.
Best see a proctologist.
Your guts will fall out.
Haiku # 67805, August 11, 2020 1:11 am ET
by Roman happiness penis.
Recurring visions.
The WalMart was abandoned.
Completely ransacked.

I don't know the cause.
Virus, war, or disaster.
Maybe it was you.
Haiku # 67804, August 11, 2020 1:00 am ET
by Or maybe huge titties. of Probably Russian titties.
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