What did the haiku say
to the gross limerick?
Le' me rick your barrs.
Of course that last line's
said with Japanese accent
while making squint eyes.
by dw
Piss off the office.
Replace the coffee with tea.
It's way worse than pea.
by It's better to be pissed off than pissed on. Or in. of Why did the condom fly across the room? It was pissed off.
Every coffee break
I pee in the office pot
I only drink tea
by Bev Ridge of LC
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by NatashaDum7830 of Russia
It's now coffee time.
I'm not sure of the region.
Northern Philippines.
And got some fresh milk.
You say big fucking deal.
But you just don't know.
Back in a minute.
God, I'm such a coffee snob.
Christ that's fucking good.
by Sllurrrrppppp. Ahhhhhhhh. of Benguet coffee is amazing! But hard to find. Need to get some more of that one.
I bought a cat toy.
It was filled with crushed catnip.
I had to smoke it.
Still recovering.
Need to order more of those.
What strain of catnip?
Or some additive?
Something in it packs a punch.
It's "Made In China".
Ancient mushroom dust?
Dried up tiger testicles?
Likely agent orange.
by Hey, times are tough right now. of Cat wasn't interested anyway.
Sure I wanna fuck.
But certainly not with you!
Pigs are more charming.
by You've been turned down by Darth Whorendous of Join the Ugly Hall of Shame
Cat toy Yelp reviews
Synastry calculator
Hey, You wanna Fuck?
by Baked Apple (cold but theyâ of Kitchen
Old fishing village
Mount Fuji in the distance
Then your dink goes soft
by Worm Puller of Worms 2 cents
Old fishing village;
Mount Fuji on horizon...
FREE Millie Weaver !
by Some Jap Poet of InfoWars
We are Flintstones kids
Ten million strong and growing
Weed in the attic
by Felix Toebeans of Porch glider
Just think what that's like.
You cannot reach your boner.
God can be so cruel.
by dw
If I were alive
back in the dinosaur times
I'd beat off T-rex.
by Want some egg drop soup? of Made it this morning.
Pteradactyl turds.
Quite painful when they hit you.
Fred knows what I mean.
by Vitamin Overdose of Glowing Pee Bathroom Light
Silly Putty dink
You do this every Sunday
Funny pages gone
by Subscriber of Undisclosed
I am my own wife.
That needs flexibility.
Beyond Plastic Man.
Plastic man can stretch
his forskin so much that he
doesn't need condoms.
by Talk about a money saver!
Do you think at all
About the wonderwall
Unfinished oasis haiku
by Alexa what's my name again... of Shady Lane
Everything happens.
In a short amount of time.
It's American haiku.
by notmychairnotmyproblem of Hell (Michigan) sans sartre
I am not your wife
But last time I sucked a cock
I swallowed his soul
by Anonymous Poet
If you are my wife,
then show me your oral skills.
I don't mean speaking.
I'm no easy buy.
If you want me, prove your worth.
You are not worth it.
by Or if you can beat me in a fart contest. of That would be impressive.
That old white magic:
That Trump Derangement Syndrome
(strange and liberal hate)
by Open-Minded Compassion of Progressive Hate
You are Darth's sad wife.
We are ALL Darth's poor, sad wife.
From now on: that's us.
by Ich Bin Ein Berliner of Berlin
Barbara Bush's sore twat
Dank thin sliced tortoise meat flaps
A man's gotta eat
by Rob Graves of Undisclosed
Eating a tortoise
will not make you live longer.
That's unfortunate.
Eat LIKE a tortoise --
veggies, fruits, & stuff like that --
and then you just might.
But then you'll be gay.
For you to be a real man
you must eat some meat.
Hearts of enemies.
Fresh crocodile testes.
Grilled platypus brains.
by Trust me, I know!
Craving venison.
Or maybe some fresh bison.
Don't even cook it.
by Wolf boy bloody chin. of That time of the month.
You ever wake up
and think, I'll destroy my kids'
lives today? She did.
by Whores should not be moms. of Moms should not be whores.
All those that eat pork
have widened piggy noses
and smell like pigs too.
And big fat rednecks
eat mountains of beef products.
You are what you eat.
So eat some pussy
and you'll become a poet.
I'm right, Chewy Chew!
Filthy Goddamn whores.
Every Goddamn one of them.
Just like DaVinci.
Attention seekers.
"Repent TikTok-Man!" said the
Joker's Harlequin.
by Allahu Akbar! Oy vay already! of hmmm... I've never tried wild boar. Maybe it's okay.
it isn't all bad.
there's macaroni and cheese
and...that's all i got
by scotch of it's good though
Loaded 22
Dildo over the barrel
You talking to me?
by Sausage dink of Undisclosed
The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
They are such fat pigs.
They don't even look human.
Overdosed on pork.
by DW of Divorce attorney's office.
Just one more tonight:
One more prolonged death-spasm.
Terminal haiku.
by Flatlined Line of Lines
Dirty fingernails
Eureka! More syllables
Rectal spelunking
by Ben A. Miner of Hollywood/Redwood
Scratch where it itches.
Mine the poetic riches.
Top THIS one, bitches. . . .
by Line of Lines
shackled to my desk
forced to endure this cruel fate:
my boss's humming
by Office Guy of Close to Suicide
Hey, pull my finger
Try aromatherapy
The smell of a fart
by Fart Knower of Undisclosed
100 pushups.
And I mean without stopping.
Come on you pussies!
by DW of Drill Sergeant Wannabe
Christopher Walken.
That's my choice for president.
Fuck those other guys.
by Hidden watches
If you see my ex,
please try to give her covid.
Maybe ebola.
by DW
Alligator gar
This fishing expedition
made me shit my pants
by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
OH you are so vile.
You have just ruined it all.
Please leave me alone.
by Distraught Female of Sobbing Hysterically in Haiku
Take three Hail Marys
And call me in the morning
He spoke, pulling out
by Noticer of Details of Rectory parking lot
Under old willow
I have heard the wind whisper
"FREE CUNNILINGUS!"
by Starkitten
first I tried Tinder
no luck. next on to Grindr-
my asshole is sore
by HoreToCulture of Brown Town
Sodomized by Freud.
He was psycho analized.
For five hundred bucks.
There are no refunds.
Best see a proctologist.
Your guts will fall out.
by Roman happiness penis.
Recurring visions.
The WalMart was abandoned.
Completely ransacked.
I don't know the cause.
Virus, war, or disaster.
Maybe it was you.
by Or maybe huge titties. of Probably Russian titties.
The whore has huge tits.
And she's not wearing a bra.
Coffee mug nipples.
by Get a handle, old man.
My God, what a blast.
Bombs are so entertaining.
Moreso when folks die.
by That was several hundred times more powerful than the OKC bomb. Amazing really.
Fuck murder hornets!
I mean that literally
....find them quite sexy
by Phil Lesh.....Kind of like a "furry," but with insects
