BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
66 Days
69674 Haikus
Every coffee break
I pee in the office pot
I only drink tea
Haiku #67850, by Bev Ridge of LC
August 17, 2020 10:30 pm ET

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Free XEvil Demo available.

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Haiku #67849, by NatashaDum7830 of Russia
August 17, 2020 7:20 pm ET

It's now coffee time.
I'm not sure of the region.
Northern Philippines.

And got some fresh milk.
You say big fucking deal.
But you just don't know.

Back in a minute.
God, I'm such a coffee snob.
Christ that's fucking good.
Haiku #67848, by Sllurrrrppppp. Ahhhhhhhh. of Benguet coffee is amazing! But hard to find. Need to get some more of that one.
August 17, 2020 7:05 pm ET

I bought a cat toy.
It was filled with crushed catnip.
I had to smoke it.

Still recovering.
Need to order more of those.
What strain of catnip?

Or some additive?
Something in it packs a punch.
It's "Made In China".

Ancient mushroom dust?
Dried up tiger testicles?
Likely agent orange.
Haiku #67847, by Hey, times are tough right now. of Cat wasn't interested anyway.
August 17, 2020 6:45 pm ET

Sure I wanna fuck.
But certainly not with you!
Pigs are more charming.
Haiku #67846, by You've been turned down by Darth Whorendous of Join the Ugly Hall of Shame
August 17, 2020 6:36 pm ET

Cat toy Yelp reviews
Synastry calculator
Hey, You wanna Fuck?
Haiku #67845, by Baked Apple (cold but theyâ of Kitchen
August 17, 2020 6:03 pm ET

Old fishing village
Mount Fuji in the distance
Then your dink goes soft
Haiku #67844, by Worm Puller of Worms 2 cents
August 17, 2020 1:13 am ET

Old fishing village;
Mount Fuji on horizon...
FREE Millie Weaver !
Haiku #67843, by Some Jap Poet of InfoWars
August 16, 2020 7:37 pm ET

We are Flintstones kids
Ten million strong and growing
Weed in the attic
Haiku #67842, by Felix Toebeans of Porch glider
August 16, 2020 4:29 pm ET

Just think what that's like.
You cannot reach your boner.
God can be so cruel.
Haiku #67841, by dw
August 16, 2020 2:21 pm ET

If I were alive
back in the dinosaur times
I'd beat off T-rex.
Haiku #67840, by Want some egg drop soup? of Made it this morning.
August 16, 2020 2:18 pm ET

Pteradactyl turds.
Quite painful when they hit you.
Fred knows what I mean.
Haiku #67839, by Vitamin Overdose of Glowing Pee Bathroom Light
August 16, 2020 2:15 pm ET

Silly Putty dink
You do this every Sunday
Funny pages gone
Haiku #67838, by Subscriber of Undisclosed
August 16, 2020 11:02 am ET

I am my own wife.
That needs flexibility.
Beyond Plastic Man.

Plastic man can stretch
his forskin so much that he
doesn't need condoms.
Haiku #67837, by Talk about a money saver!
August 16, 2020 2:44 am ET

Do you think at all
About the wonderwall
Unfinished oasis haiku
Haiku #67836, by Alexa what's my name again... of Shady Lane
August 16, 2020 12:23 am ET

Everything happens.
In a short amount of time.
It's American haiku.
Haiku #67835, by notmychairnotmyproblem of Hell (Michigan) sans sartre
August 16, 2020 12:18 am ET

I am not your wife
But last time I sucked a cock
I swallowed his soul
Haiku #67834, by Anonymous Poet
August 15, 2020 7:01 pm ET

If you are my wife,
then show me your oral skills.
I don't mean speaking.

I'm no easy buy.
If you want me, prove your worth.
You are not worth it.
Haiku #67833, by Or if you can beat me in a fart contest. of That would be impressive.
August 15, 2020 9:56 am ET

That old white magic:
That Trump Derangement Syndrome
(strange and liberal hate)
Haiku #67832, by Open-Minded Compassion of Progressive Hate
August 14, 2020 1:37 pm ET

You are Darth's sad wife.
We are ALL Darth's poor, sad wife.
From now on: that's us.
Haiku #67831, by Ich Bin Ein Berliner of Berlin
August 14, 2020 10:33 am ET

- bikes for losing weight
- bike to lose weight
- riding bicycle
- riding bikes for beginners
- how to wheele
How so much ought to I Ride?
If you're athletics to thin, period (the time you pay biking) matters over the particular distance you travel. meaning that you simply do not essentially got to ride the complete Tour First State France course to shed a number of pounds. Relieved? smart. however do not place away the meter.

As you get snug defrayment longer within the saddle, schedule longer rides throughout the week. If you are doing 3 athletics workouts hebdomadally, complete one short ride (30 minutes), create one ride a moderate period (45 minutes), and set a goal to ride one long tour (60 to a hundred and twenty minutes) hebdomadally.

How Fast ought to I Cycle?
If weight loss is your primary goal, exercise intensity matters over speed. A higher-intensity ride can burn a lot of calories than a lower-intensity ride. the kind of motorbike you ride and also the path you decide on can have an effect on each your intensity (how exhausting you work) and your speed (how quick you travel).

For example, if you're riding an important bicycle on muddy, cross-country trails at twelve miles per hour, you'll likely got to work terribly exhausting. however if you're on a road bike pedaling down a hill, you'll be able to reach that pace with nearly no effort the least bit.

Your best bet? Learn to use a vital sign monitor. The device provides associate degree correct measure of however exhausting you're operating. Aim to figure at seventy to seventy fifth of your most vital sign for many rides.

If you do not wish to take a position during a monitor, used the perceived labour scale instead. On a scale of one to ten (with ten being most exertion), you ought to want you're performing at A level seven. you ought to be respiratory deeply, however not exhausted or out of breath.

Where ought to I Go?
The course you decide on could have the largest impact on the amount of calories you burn as a result of it'll have an effect on each period and intensity. For best results, you wish to settle on a course that enables you to pedal systematically while not taking too several breaks at stoplights or intersections. These short breaks cause your vital sign to drop, take up an excessive amount of sweat time, and reduce the calorie-burning potential of your ride.

Many cities have dedicated continuous bike trails. particularly once you square measure initial beginning out, decide on these safe routes instead of riding on the road. If you do not have access to a motorbike path, it should be value it slow to drive to a location wherever a protracted stretch of quiet road is on the market.

Best Bike for Weight Loss
The best bike to assist you thin is that the one that you simply can ride on a daily basis. It's essential that you simply attempt many designs and notice the one that matches your body.

Road Bike
Some bike riders like a road bike with skinny tires and a sleeker frame. A road bike is lighter and needs less effort once you ride quick.

Road bikes square measure best for sealed surfaces and long, uninterrupted stretches of road.

But some riders do not feel steady on this type of bike. A road bike needs that you simply lean slightly forward whereas you ride. If you've got back problems or considerations regarding safety, this could not be the bike for you.

Cruiser, Mountain or Cross Bike
You may like the comfort and easy a cruiser or a bicycle that has significant, thick tires. These bikes typically supply some suspension and artefact to form the ride easier.

And you're typically ready to maintain a a lot of upright posture once you ride this bike vogue. Also, the thicker tires offer a lot of stability therefore riders usually feel safer on these bikes, particularly if they're unaccustomed athletics.

Electric Bike
If you're unaccustomed athletics or if you intend to use your bike for associate degree extended daily commute, an electrical bike (also known as associate degree e-bike) could be the proper choice for you. Brands like Trek create cycles that you simply ride sort of a normal bike, however you get a lift of help once you would like it.

For example, Trek's Super Commuter provides a snug upright ride with the choice to use eight completely different speeds. If you hit a hill or would like a prospect from strenuous pedaling, you'll be able to interact the Jerom Bos pedal-assist system that helps you sustain speeds of up to twenty seven miles per hour (45 km/h).

Recumbent Bike
Some exercisers use accumbent bikes at the gymnasium, preferring the reclined body position to associate degree upright position that's typical in normal cycles. However, some riders opt for a accumbent bike for his or her outside ride.
Haiku #67830, by Tommyanomb of Antarctica
August 14, 2020 6:20 am ET

Barbara Bush's sore twat
Dank thin sliced tortoise meat flaps
A man's gotta eat
Haiku #67829, by Rob Graves of Undisclosed
August 13, 2020 6:44 pm ET

Eating a tortoise
will not make you live longer.
That's unfortunate.

Eat LIKE a tortoise --
veggies, fruits, & stuff like that --
and then you just might.

But then you'll be gay.
For you to be a real man
you must eat some meat.

Hearts of enemies.
Fresh crocodile testes.
Grilled platypus brains.
Haiku #67828, by Trust me, I know!
August 13, 2020 6:27 pm ET

Craving venison.
Or maybe some fresh bison.
Don't even cook it.
Haiku #67827, by Wolf boy bloody chin. of That time of the month.
August 13, 2020 5:47 pm ET

You ever wake up
and think, I'll destroy my kids'
lives today? She did.
Haiku #67826, by Whores should not be moms. of Moms should not be whores.
August 13, 2020 5:38 pm ET

All those that eat pork
have widened piggy noses
and smell like pigs too.

And big fat rednecks
eat mountains of beef products.
You are what you eat.

So eat some pussy
and you'll become a poet.
I'm right, Chewy Chew!

Filthy Goddamn whores.
Every Goddamn one of them.
Just like DaVinci.

Attention seekers.
"Repent TikTok-Man!" said the
Joker's Harlequin.
Haiku #67825, by Allahu Akbar! Oy vay already! of hmmm... I've never tried wild boar. Maybe it's okay.
August 13, 2020 5:25 pm ET

it isn't all bad.
there's macaroni and cheese
and...that's all i got
Haiku #67824, by scotch of it's good though
August 13, 2020 4:04 pm ET

Loaded 22
Dildo over the barrel
You talking to me?
Haiku #67823, by Sausage dink of Undisclosed
August 13, 2020 2:49 pm ET

The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
Haiku #67822, by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
August 13, 2020 2:33 pm ET

The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
Haiku #67821, by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
August 13, 2020 2:33 pm ET

They are such fat pigs.
They don't even look human.
Overdosed on pork.
Haiku #67819, by DW of Divorce attorney's office.
August 13, 2020 6:04 am ET

Just one more tonight:
One more prolonged death-spasm.
Terminal haiku.
Haiku #67818, by Flatlined Line of Lines
August 12, 2020 10:45 pm ET

Dirty fingernails
Eureka! More syllables
Rectal spelunking
Haiku #67817, by Ben A. Miner of Hollywood/Redwood
August 12, 2020 8:44 pm ET

Scratch where it itches.
Mine the poetic riches.
Top THIS one, bitches. . . .
Haiku #67816, by Line of Lines
August 12, 2020 7:15 pm ET

shackled to my desk
forced to endure this cruel fate:
my boss's humming
Haiku #67815, by Office Guy of Close to Suicide
August 12, 2020 1:29 pm ET

Hey, pull my finger
Try aromatherapy
The smell of a fart
Haiku #67814, by Fart Knower of Undisclosed
August 12, 2020 8:25 am ET

100 pushups.
And I mean without stopping.
Come on you pussies!
Haiku #67813, by DW of Drill Sergeant Wannabe
August 11, 2020 10:55 pm ET

Christopher Walken.
That's my choice for president.
Fuck those other guys.
Haiku #67812, by Hidden watches
August 11, 2020 10:52 pm ET

If you see my ex,
please try to give her covid.
Maybe ebola.
Haiku #67811, by DW
August 11, 2020 10:44 pm ET

Alligator gar
This fishing expedition
made me shit my pants
Haiku #67810, by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
August 11, 2020 10:27 pm ET

OH you are so vile.
You have just ruined it all.
Please leave me alone.
Haiku #67809, by Distraught Female of Sobbing Hysterically in Haiku
August 11, 2020 9:46 pm ET

Take three Hail Marys
And call me in the morning
He spoke, pulling out
Haiku #67808, by Noticer of Details of Rectory parking lot
August 11, 2020 8:20 pm ET

Under old willow
I have heard the wind whisper
Haiku #67807, by Starkitten
August 11, 2020 5:06 pm ET

first I tried Tinder
no luck. next on to Grindr-
my asshole is sore
Haiku #67806, by HoreToCulture of Brown Town
August 11, 2020 8:41 am ET

Sodomized by Freud.
He was psycho analized.
For five hundred bucks.

There are no refunds.
Best see a proctologist.
Your guts will fall out.
Haiku #67805, by Roman happiness penis.
August 11, 2020 1:11 am ET

Recurring visions.
The WalMart was abandoned.
Completely ransacked.

I don't know the cause.
Virus, war, or disaster.
Maybe it was you.
Haiku #67804, by Or maybe huge titties. of Probably Russian titties.
August 11, 2020 1:00 am ET

The whore has huge tits.
And she's not wearing a bra.
Coffee mug nipples.
Haiku #67803, by Get a handle, old man.
August 11, 2020 12:54 am ET

My God, what a blast.
Bombs are so entertaining.
Moreso when folks die.
Haiku #67802, by That was several hundred times more powerful than the OKC bomb. Amazing really.
August 11, 2020 12:50 am ET

Fuck murder hornets!
I mean that literally
....find them quite sexy
Haiku #67801, by Phil Lesh.....Kind of like a "furry," but with insects
August 10, 2020 11:33 pm ET

I won't analyze.
I just want to go shopping.
Too many theories.
Haiku #67800, by Typical Brainwashed Zombie of Consumer Circus
August 9, 2020 2:28 pm ET