Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 338 Days and 72686 Haikus later...

Take three Hail Marys
And call me in the morning
He spoke, pulling out
Haiku # 67808, August 11, 2020 8:20 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Rectory parking lot
Under old willow
I have heard the wind whisper
"FREE CUNNILINGUS!"
Haiku # 67807, August 11, 2020 5:06 pm ET
by Starkitten
first I tried Tinder
no luck. next on to Grindr-
my asshole is sore
Haiku # 67806, August 11, 2020 8:41 am ET
by HoreToCulture of Brown Town
Sodomized by Freud.
He was psycho analized.
For five hundred bucks.

There are no refunds.
Best see a proctologist.
Your guts will fall out.
Haiku # 67805, August 11, 2020 1:11 am ET
by Roman happiness penis.
Recurring visions.
The WalMart was abandoned.
Completely ransacked.

I don't know the cause.
Virus, war, or disaster.
Maybe it was you.
Haiku # 67804, August 11, 2020 1:00 am ET
by Or maybe huge titties. of Probably Russian titties.
The whore has huge tits.
And she's not wearing a bra.
Coffee mug nipples.
Haiku # 67803, August 11, 2020 12:54 am ET
by Get a handle, old man.
My God, what a blast.
Bombs are so entertaining.
Moreso when folks die.
Haiku # 67802, August 11, 2020 12:50 am ET
by That was several hundred times more powerful than the OKC bomb. Amazing really.
Fuck murder hornets!
I mean that literally
....find them quite sexy
Haiku # 67801, August 10, 2020 11:33 pm ET
by Phil Lesh.....Kind of like a "furry," but with insects
I won't analyze.
I just want to go shopping.
Too many theories.
Haiku # 67800, August 9, 2020 2:28 pm ET
by Typical Brainwashed Zombie of Consumer Circus
set us up the bomb
in a port in lebanon
suddenly it's gone
Haiku # 67799, August 8, 2020 9:50 pm ET
by ash of somewhere far away
American fool
We are will shortly crush you.
Ha ha. Funny jokes.
Haiku # 67798, August 8, 2020 1:52 pm ET
by Goose-stepping Chinaman with AK-47 and Rocket Launcher of Xi Jin Ping Pong Paddle
There is no covid.
Trump made it all up.
Winnie the Pooh's cock.

Figuratively.
I mean the Chinese Chairman.
What the fuck's his name?
Haiku # 67797, August 7, 2020 6:28 am ET
by Mousy Dung
You, paddling my ass
Always in that meet porn store
Sticking out your pud.
Haiku # 67796, August 7, 2020 6:04 am ET
by that will be $15.
You, peddling your ass
Always on that street corner
Sticking out your poems
Haiku # 67795, August 7, 2020 2:23 am ET
by Grossed out of In the vicinity
You should stop reading.
Walk the streets in search of life.
Never return home.
Haiku # 67794, August 5, 2020 9:10 pm ET
by High school conselor.
Come and partake of
the LSD communion
acetylene tank.

Become a member.
The First Church of Future Christ.
Meth off a whore's tits.
Haiku # 67793, August 5, 2020 7:53 pm ET
by Free coffee and donuts too! of Temple whore revenue. Nuns get none, sums get some.
If Jesus Christ died
for the sins I commited,
then he got off light.

Next time he comes here
we'll use drugs and blow torches.
Welding tank necklace.
Haiku # 67792, August 5, 2020 7:46 pm ET
by dw
Leave me out of this
(Said the guy who hung around
and did magic tricks.)
Haiku # 67791, August 5, 2020 1:51 pm ET
by Sister Christian of Motoring
Trumpers gonna Trump.
Marxist queers will Marxist queer.
But Christ is still Lord.
Haiku # 67790, August 5, 2020 9:51 am ET
by Big Eva of the Celestial Machinery
It is what it is.
What a callous piece of shit
Hashtag, Trump virus
Haiku # 67789, August 5, 2020 7:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Horses on the track
Woke up with my ass on fire
Horses on the track
Haiku # 67788, August 4, 2020 2:08 pm ET
by Motivated by Oats of Undisclosed
17 feet tall
Makes it kind of difficult
For us to bang, eh?
Haiku # 67787, August 4, 2020 1:59 pm ET
by Ivana Blowyathough of Standing near spaceship, Canada
the world has gone mad
but i was already there
before the tourists
Haiku # 67786, August 4, 2020 9:33 am ET
by ash
Keep talking, bitches.
Your days are known and numbered.
Haiku will get you.
Haiku # 67785, August 3, 2020 8:40 pm ET
by Black Ops of Haiku
Horrid hoarfrost hoards.
Horrible horny whoring
horrendous hoar horns.
Haiku # 67784, August 3, 2020 8:14 pm ET
by DW of How do I know I'm not a robot?
You mean Scott Spicer?
He was the Easter Bunny
He died for your sins
Haiku # 67783, August 3, 2020 8:14 pm ET
by Henrietta (cluck) of Ovum Office
Bugs Bunny's my mom.
I squirmed out of his anus
and from the TV.

Living room carpet
with its awful ugly stain.
I jump from the floor.

And into your face.
Inserted in your eyeball.
Why are you so dead?
Haiku # 67782, August 3, 2020 8:04 pm ET
by DW of I want an Easter egg! I want an Easter egg! I want an Easter egg!
Vaseline is cheap
And I got lots of
Spare time on my hands
Haiku # 67781, August 3, 2020 1:20 pm ET
by Pete Roleum of Under old willow
so in god we trust
but who is god? Well its me
yeah thats right fuck you
Haiku # 67780, August 3, 2020 2:02 am ET
by Line of lines
The Grand Poohbah
Grabbing Mrs. Cunningham
Like a bowling ball
Haiku # 67779, August 3, 2020 12:57 am ET
by All Seeing Eye of Milwaukee
Just think happy thoughts
Dream of a tasty sandwich
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 67778, August 3, 2020 12:00 am ET
by Never gonna give you up of Never gonna let you down
more and more covid
stay calm, breathe in and breathe out
but don't breathe virus
Haiku # 67777, August 2, 2020 9:06 am ET
by ash
That MC5 rock
From Detroit Motor City
Was lame-ass pansy
Haiku # 67776, August 1, 2020 10:06 pm ET
by Kick Out The Germs of Ramalama Fa Fa Fa
Everybody up
Bad Haiku kick out the jams
You are the star now
Haiku # 67775, August 1, 2020 8:36 pm ET
by Polite Lizard of Thetis Lake
Dandelion Greens
A study in gluttony
Open House : my pants
Haiku # 67774, August 1, 2020 8:12 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
The barking spider
of the golden electroplate
Oomph Loompa Guild
Haiku # 67773, August 1, 2020 8:01 pm ET
by Gut Feeling of It's an outsie.....really
Darth himself is smeared
All over the floor and wall:
our haiku shithouse.
Haiku # 67772, August 1, 2020 4:49 pm ET
by Orality of Fecality of Reality
A bright flowing stream,
Quiet grove of blissful shade:
All this means nothing...
Haiku # 67771, August 1, 2020 4:45 pm ET
by Sources of Denial
The floor is lava
Dude, fecal incontinence
is the volcano
Haiku # 67770, August 1, 2020 2:37 pm ET
by Greg, Peter and Bobby of Brady Bunch residence
trust me, i've felt like
ending my existence cause
i didn't want to clean

the floor anymore.
Haiku # 67769, August 1, 2020 2:02 pm ET
by vhs
Viral hysteria . . .
Globalist agenda fail:
because of haiku.
Haiku # 67768, August 1, 2020 10:19 am ET
by George Soros' Mother-in-law of Gehenna
Just re-write the numbers.
That's how we will beat covid.
Trump's a great leader!
Haiku # 67767, July 31, 2020 6:35 pm ET
by dw
But I am not lost.
I'm right here in the fish bowl.
Care for some sushi?
Haiku # 67766, July 31, 2020 6:33 pm ET
by DW of Wasabi? Y or N? It's the latest cure for covid.
send me a dollar
in return you will receive
one haiku poem
Haiku # 67765, July 31, 2020 2:19 pm ET
by Saving Up of for weed
Ash and Whorrendous:
Two lost souls in a fishbowl...
Or haiku cesspool.
Haiku # 67764, July 31, 2020 12:13 pm ET
by Year after Year of Fink Ployd
i'm sick of covid
just like this lovely planet
is sick of humans
Haiku # 67763, July 31, 2020 8:42 am ET
by ash of terra
You got that right, bud
Dust is mostly your dead skin
You are such a flake
Haiku # 67762, July 31, 2020 3:20 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
Today, my skin goes
Becomes dust as I walk away
Bye bitch, see you never
Haiku # 67761, July 30, 2020 10:59 pm ET
by Line of lines
Major Figpucker
Applies two layers of goose grease
Prepares for lift off
Haiku # 67760, July 29, 2020 9:26 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of NASA Phillipines Outpost
Just tell me one thing
Can a man get a boner
Up in Outer Space?
Haiku # 67759, July 29, 2020 9:21 pm ET
by Moon Unit of Moon
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >