BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
68 Days
69687 Haikus
Ash and Whorrendous:
Two lost souls in a fishbowl...
Or haiku cesspool.
Haiku #67764, by Year after Year of Fink Ployd
July 31, 2020 12:13 pm ET

i'm sick of covid
just like this lovely planet
is sick of humans
Haiku #67763, by ash of terra
July 31, 2020 8:42 am ET

You got that right, bud
Dust is mostly your dead skin
You are such a flake
Haiku #67762, by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
July 31, 2020 3:20 am ET

Today, my skin goes
Becomes dust as I walk away
Bye bitch, see you never
Haiku #67761, by Line of lines
July 30, 2020 10:59 pm ET

Major Figpucker
Applies two layers of goose grease
Prepares for lift off
Haiku #67760, by Noticer of Details of NASA Phillipines Outpost
July 29, 2020 9:26 pm ET

Just tell me one thing
Can a man get a boner
Up in Outer Space?
Haiku #67759, by Moon Unit of Moon
July 29, 2020 9:21 pm ET

We'll fund the Space Force
with zero-g porno flicks.
Starring Mexicans.
Haiku #67758, by Build a wall around THIS! of dw
July 29, 2020 9:20 pm ET

Space shuttle orgies.
You know it had to happen.
Where's the video?!
Haiku #67757, by vhs' garden gnome
July 29, 2020 4:48 pm ET

Third world Tang flavors.
Obligatory orange.
Fucking sucralose.
Haiku #67756, by I remember when it was orange flavor, sugar, and citric acid.... now I can't pronounce the ingredients. of Cancer! Give it to me now!
July 29, 2020 4:46 pm ET

Astronaut poon Tang.
Fish pudding popsicle sticks.
Bill Cosby enjoys.
Haiku #67755, by Mmmmm mmmm good! of dw memories
July 29, 2020 4:43 pm ET

Shit on the front lawn
Madly hunching and circling
Now youâ
Haiku #67754, by F. Lee Koehler of Screened in porch
July 29, 2020 3:17 pm ET

Hot demon semen
Do astronauts still drink Tang?
Alien DNA load
Haiku #67753, by Flappy of Village of Flagellum
July 29, 2020 3:08 pm ET

i'm not a robot.
no really, but if i were
i'd still click that box
Haiku #67752, by scotch of there is no spoon; how will i stir my coffee?
July 29, 2020 11:04 am ET

dream sex with demons
and alien DNA?
she missed her calling
Haiku #67751, by scotch of untied states of rapid descent
July 29, 2020 11:01 am ET

I like to eat food
Sometimes it is delicious
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku #67750, by Anonymous Poet
July 28, 2020 11:02 pm ET

John Boy Walton's shaft
Exploding Hindenburg style
(Bedroom light goes out)
Haiku #67749, by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
July 28, 2020 3:47 am ET

Oh my God! You people are so disgusting.
What the hell's a haiku?
This is stupid.
Haiku #67748, by Paris Hilton
July 27, 2020 5:59 pm ET

Did the wood get warped
When Gepetto spent his load
On Pinnochio?
Haiku #67747, by Load Miser of Undisclosed
July 27, 2020 5:28 pm ET

I like the Devil.
You know, the one from South Park.
The best character.
Haiku #67746, by dw
July 27, 2020 5:07 pm ET

Does a dry cough mean
you hack up boogers, not phlegm?
Skunky cough boogers.

Oh wait, that's resin.
THC from a whore's lung.
Who wants to get high?

Snoop Dog's down for it.
How about you, vhs?
Relax! I'm joking!

Here's a beer for you.
Imported from Germany.
Pot's the Devil's work.
Haiku #67745, by dw
July 27, 2020 5:05 pm ET

God hates all poets.
Especially bitter ones.
Go write a novel.
Haiku #67744, by Darth Whorrendous
July 27, 2020 4:57 pm ET

That was no bitch slap.
That was merely a tickle.
Kind of like Elmo.

Elmo's kind of hot.
I'd tickle the shit out of
that sexy muppet.

But then afterwards
he might need his fur steam cleaned.
Would he still love me?
Haiku #67743, by DW of Covideo-19 yo with tramp stamp coughing viral pot smoke
July 27, 2020 8:15 am ET

Gasturbation Waltz
Steampunk Masquerade Gala
"Dancing" with myself
Haiku #67742, by L.L. Goya Bean of Undisclosed
July 27, 2020 5:25 am ET

Write down this number
Casino Taxi
Haiku #67741, by Person on the go of Nova Scotia Meat Stealing Operation
July 27, 2020 5:04 am ET

Peanuts! Cracker Jacks!
Give Brett's anus forty whacks
Hemorrhoid Pinata
Haiku #67740, by Royal Paine of In the ass
July 27, 2020 4:51 am ET

Peanuts! Cracker Jacks!
Give Brett's anus forty whacks
Hemorrhoid Pinata
Haiku #67739, by Royal Paine of In the ass
July 27, 2020 4:50 am ET

What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku #67738, by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET

What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku #67737, by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET

What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku #67736, by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET

Late July bitchslap
You had it coming to you
You. Darth Figpucker.
Haiku #67735, by You know
July 27, 2020 2:33 am ET

How your ass does stink
When you rise up from your seat
At the bingo hall
Haiku #67734, by Hold your corn of And your breath
July 26, 2020 3:18 am ET

I have a large cunt.
No, really, it's enormous.
See this pineapple?
Haiku #67733, by now you don't
July 26, 2020 1:54 am ET

But it wasn't lost.
It was up in the bleachers
watching the whole game.

It speaks Portuguese.
And some Spanish and Chinese.
Sentient swollen veins.

It ate some popcorn,
two hotdogs and fresh peanuts.
Washed down with cold beer.

Excised hemorrhoid.
Devoid horrid hemorrhoid.
Enjoying its life.
Haiku #67732, by 1st basement of vhs' outhouse of What a view from down here.
July 26, 2020 1:10 am ET

Eggs aren't ellipsoids.
You know; ova, egg, oval.
Stupid calc teacher.
Haiku #67731, by Calculate the volume of your momma's fat ass.
July 26, 2020 12:59 am ET

Soup of chicken cream.
Makes all of the chickens scream.
Chicken asshole ream.
Haiku #67730, by I'll have a side of toast and soft boiled hen cum, please. of And a small coffee and newspaper.
July 26, 2020 12:56 am ET

take a walk with me
down Memory Lane today
George Brett's lost hemorrhoid
Haiku #67729, by 3rd Base of Starkitten's
July 25, 2020 10:45 am ET

Cream of chicken soup
Makes me come when checkens poop
Then my wiener droop
Haiku #67728, by Tokey Smokey of Okie Dokie
July 25, 2020 1:52 am ET

I had a strange dream.
Bloody pus came out my nose.
I'd guess a kilo.

More was on the way.
And it actually felt good.
But then I woke up.

I have a head cold.
Maybe it's covid-19.
I don't really care.
Haiku #67727, by DW of Name for an Aussie bike gang: The Bastard Mates
July 23, 2020 10:29 pm ET

I'm not a Christian.
They don't eat balot in hell.
Satan has some taste.
Haiku #67726, by Praise God for that! of DW
July 23, 2020 10:22 pm ET

Trump's a snatch snatcher.
Greedy, arrogant, and rude.
My God! He's like me!
Haiku #67725, by Grab that pussy! of DW -- Going to hell b/c I want to. Satan's not such a bad fellow once you get to know him. At least he's not Filipino!
July 23, 2020 9:39 am ET

Soap is a nice thing
Washes away all the grime
Clean as a whistle
Haiku #67724, by Some whistles are actually quite dirty
July 23, 2020 12:17 am ET

Trump is so evil.
He is totally evil.
Because he's orange.
Haiku #67723, by Neurotic Leftists Virtue-Signaling and Projecting of Still going to HELL for rejecting God in Christ
July 22, 2020 11:48 pm ET

Y'all can suck haiku;
Suck it and then swallow it.
Cause yall is not WOKE
Haiku #67722, by Sleeping Late of Wokeville
July 22, 2020 11:42 pm ET

No one else is here.
How long can I dominate.
King of the dung hill.
Haiku #67721, by DW of No one loves me. Boo hoo. How sad.
July 22, 2020 9:39 pm ET

Fanny packs aren't cool?
Well, shit, when did this happen?
Did I miss something?
Haiku #67720, by DW of Let's play hacky sack and praise Satan.
July 20, 2020 8:40 pm ET

Bubbles in your jizz?
Testicular fartitude.
Jet powered sperm cells.
Haiku #67719, by Darth Whorendous of maybe too much beer
July 20, 2020 7:01 pm ET

White guys aren't so bad.
But orange colored snack products
should not hold office.

Oust the Cheeto-head.
He's the puppet of Chester.
Orange lives don't matter!
Haiku #67718, by DW
July 20, 2020 3:07 pm ET

You mean Joe Biden?
Well, he's not president yet . . .
but yes, he's funny!
Haiku #67717, by Riotous Would-Be Leaders of the Free World
July 20, 2020 9:09 am ET

speaking of white guys
wisdom from that president
is always a riot
Haiku #67716, by ash
July 20, 2020 8:36 am ET

I won't bow down to
Your bombastic testicles
Arrogant and vile
Haiku #67715, by Nell Carter's sexy Gucci purse
July 19, 2020 11:53 pm ET