Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 318 Days and 72189 Haikus later...

Just tell me one thing
Can a man get a boner
Up in Outer Space?
Haiku # 67759, July 29, 2020 9:21 pm ET
by Moon Unit of Moon
We'll fund the Space Force
with zero-g porno flicks.
Starring Mexicans.
Haiku # 67758, July 29, 2020 9:20 pm ET
by Build a wall around THIS! of dw
Space shuttle orgies.
You know it had to happen.
Where's the video?!
Haiku # 67757, July 29, 2020 4:48 pm ET
by vhs' garden gnome
Third world Tang flavors.
Obligatory orange.
Fucking sucralose.
Haiku # 67756, July 29, 2020 4:46 pm ET
by I remember when it was orange flavor, sugar, and citric acid.... now I can't pronounce the ingredients. of Cancer! Give it to me now!
Astronaut poon Tang.
Fish pudding popsicle sticks.
Bill Cosby enjoys.
Haiku # 67755, July 29, 2020 4:43 pm ET
by Mmmmm mmmm good! of dw memories
Shit on the front lawn
Madly hunching and circling
Now youâ
Haiku # 67754, July 29, 2020 3:17 pm ET
by F. Lee Koehler of Screened in porch
Hot demon semen
Do astronauts still drink Tang?
Alien DNA load
Haiku # 67753, July 29, 2020 3:08 pm ET
by Flappy of Village of Flagellum
i'm not a robot.
no really, but if i were
i'd still click that box
Haiku # 67752, July 29, 2020 11:04 am ET
by scotch of there is no spoon; how will i stir my coffee?
dream sex with demons
and alien DNA?
she missed her calling
Haiku # 67751, July 29, 2020 11:01 am ET
by scotch of untied states of rapid descent
I like to eat food
Sometimes it is delicious
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 67750, July 28, 2020 11:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
John Boy Walton's shaft
Exploding Hindenburg style
(Bedroom light goes out)
Haiku # 67749, July 28, 2020 3:47 am ET
by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
Oh my God! You people are so disgusting.
What the hell's a haiku?
This is stupid.
Haiku # 67748, July 27, 2020 5:59 pm ET
by Paris Hilton
Did the wood get warped
When Gepetto spent his load
On Pinnochio?
Haiku # 67747, July 27, 2020 5:28 pm ET
by Load Miser of Undisclosed
I like the Devil.
You know, the one from South Park.
The best character.
Haiku # 67746, July 27, 2020 5:07 pm ET
by dw
Does a dry cough mean
you hack up boogers, not phlegm?
Skunky cough boogers.

Oh wait, that's resin.
THC from a whore's lung.
Who wants to get high?

Snoop Dog's down for it.
How about you, vhs?
Relax! I'm joking!

Here's a beer for you.
Imported from Germany.
Pot's the Devil's work.
Haiku # 67745, July 27, 2020 5:05 pm ET
by dw
God hates all poets.
Especially bitter ones.
Go write a novel.
Haiku # 67744, July 27, 2020 4:57 pm ET
by Darth Whorrendous
That was no bitch slap.
That was merely a tickle.
Kind of like Elmo.

Elmo's kind of hot.
I'd tickle the shit out of
that sexy muppet.

But then afterwards
he might need his fur steam cleaned.
Would he still love me?
Haiku # 67743, July 27, 2020 8:15 am ET
by DW of Covideo-19 yo with tramp stamp coughing viral pot smoke
Gasturbation Waltz
Steampunk Masquerade Gala
"Dancing" with myself
Haiku # 67742, July 27, 2020 5:25 am ET
by L.L. Goya Bean of Undisclosed
Write down this number
429-6666
Casino Taxi
Haiku # 67741, July 27, 2020 5:04 am ET
by Person on the go of Nova Scotia Meat Stealing Operation
Peanuts! Cracker Jacks!
Give Brett's anus forty whacks
Hemorrhoid Pinata
Haiku # 67740, July 27, 2020 4:51 am ET
by Royal Paine of In the ass
Peanuts! Cracker Jacks!
Give Brett's anus forty whacks
Hemorrhoid Pinata
Haiku # 67739, July 27, 2020 4:50 am ET
by Royal Paine of In the ass
What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku # 67738, July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku # 67737, July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku # 67736, July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
Late July bitchslap
You had it coming to you
You. Darth Figpucker.
Haiku # 67735, July 27, 2020 2:33 am ET
by You know
How your ass does stink
When you rise up from your seat
At the bingo hall
Haiku # 67734, July 26, 2020 3:18 am ET
by Hold your corn of And your breath
I have a large cunt.
No, really, it's enormous.
See this pineapple?
Haiku # 67733, July 26, 2020 1:54 am ET
by now you don't
But it wasn't lost.
It was up in the bleachers
watching the whole game.

It speaks Portuguese.
And some Spanish and Chinese.
Sentient swollen veins.

It ate some popcorn,
two hotdogs and fresh peanuts.
Washed down with cold beer.

Excised hemorrhoid.
Devoid horrid hemorrhoid.
Enjoying its life.
Haiku # 67732, July 26, 2020 1:10 am ET
by 1st basement of vhs' outhouse of What a view from down here.
Eggs aren't ellipsoids.
You know; ova, egg, oval.
Stupid calc teacher.
Haiku # 67731, July 26, 2020 12:59 am ET
by Calculate the volume of your momma's fat ass.
Soup of chicken cream.
Makes all of the chickens scream.
Chicken asshole ream.
Haiku # 67730, July 26, 2020 12:56 am ET
by I'll have a side of toast and soft boiled hen cum, please. of And a small coffee and newspaper.
take a walk with me
down Memory Lane today
George Brett's lost hemorrhoid
Haiku # 67729, July 25, 2020 10:45 am ET
by 3rd Base of Starkitten's
Cream of chicken soup
Makes me come when checkens poop
Then my wiener droop
Haiku # 67728, July 25, 2020 1:52 am ET
by Tokey Smokey of Okie Dokie
I had a strange dream.
Bloody pus came out my nose.
I'd guess a kilo.

More was on the way.
And it actually felt good.
But then I woke up.

I have a head cold.
Maybe it's covid-19.
I don't really care.
Haiku # 67727, July 23, 2020 10:29 pm ET
by DW of Name for an Aussie bike gang: The Bastard Mates
I'm not a Christian.
They don't eat balot in hell.
Satan has some taste.
Haiku # 67726, July 23, 2020 10:22 pm ET
by Praise God for that! of DW
Trump's a snatch snatcher.
Greedy, arrogant, and rude.
My God! He's like me!
Haiku # 67725, July 23, 2020 9:39 am ET
by Grab that pussy! of DW -- Going to hell b/c I want to. Satan's not such a bad fellow once you get to know him. At least he's not Filipino!
Soap is a nice thing
Washes away all the grime
Clean as a whistle
Haiku # 67724, July 23, 2020 12:17 am ET
by Some whistles are actually quite dirty
Trump is so evil.
He is totally evil.
Because he's orange.
Haiku # 67723, July 22, 2020 11:48 pm ET
by Neurotic Leftists Virtue-Signaling and Projecting of Still going to HELL for rejecting God in Christ
Y'all can suck haiku;
Suck it and then swallow it.
Cause yall is not WOKE
Haiku # 67722, July 22, 2020 11:42 pm ET
by Sleeping Late of Wokeville
No one else is here.
How long can I dominate.
King of the dung hill.
Haiku # 67721, July 22, 2020 9:39 pm ET
by DW of No one loves me. Boo hoo. How sad.
Fanny packs aren't cool?
Well, shit, when did this happen?
Did I miss something?
Haiku # 67720, July 20, 2020 8:40 pm ET
by DW of Let's play hacky sack and praise Satan.
Bubbles in your jizz?
Testicular fartitude.
Jet powered sperm cells.
Haiku # 67719, July 20, 2020 7:01 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous of maybe too much beer
White guys aren't so bad.
But orange colored snack products
should not hold office.

Oust the Cheeto-head.
He's the puppet of Chester.
Orange lives don't matter!
Haiku # 67718, July 20, 2020 3:07 pm ET
by DW
You mean Joe Biden?
Well, he's not president yet . . .
but yes, he's funny!
Haiku # 67717, July 20, 2020 9:09 am ET
by Riotous Would-Be Leaders of the Free World
speaking of white guys
wisdom from that president
is always a riot
Haiku # 67716, July 20, 2020 8:36 am ET
by ash
I won't bow down to
Your bombastic testicles
Arrogant and vile
Haiku # 67715, July 19, 2020 11:53 pm ET
by Nell Carter's sexy Gucci purse
Oh yes Alemprint.
You the haiku artiste now.
Thanks for blessing us.
Haiku # 67714, July 18, 2020 8:44 pm ET
by Alemprint Appreciation Society
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/shirokoformatnaya-pechat
http://www.grandprint.su http://www.grandprint.su
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/pechat-bannerov
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/pechat-na-plenke
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/pechat-na-oboyah
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/shirokoformatnaya-pechat
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/pechat-bannerov
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/press-wall
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/pechat-na-setke
Haiku # 67713, July 18, 2020 12:43 pm ET
by Williamtar of Cuba
I too would riot.
But my damn White Privilege
Will not allow it.
Haiku # 67712, July 17, 2020 11:37 am ET
by Secret Asian Man #666
I want to riot.
But I'm just an old white guy.
With a small penis.
Haiku # 67711, July 16, 2020 9:35 pm ET
by DW
I love corona.
I don't have to pay my bills.
Stay home and watch news.

Jack off to riots.
I've always hated the cops.
Always such assholes.

Yes sir, I have crack.
I stuck it way up my crack.
Reach in and get it.
Haiku # 67710, July 16, 2020 2:49 am ET
by DW of Do I look like a fucking crack head? No, I'm a paint huffer! Big difference!
< 50 Less Recent Haiku 50 More Recent Haiku >