BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
68 Days
69682 Haikus
God hates all poets.
Especially bitter ones.
Go write a novel.
Haiku #67744, by Darth Whorrendous
July 27, 2020 4:57 pm ET

That was no bitch slap.
That was merely a tickle.
Kind of like Elmo.

Elmo's kind of hot.
I'd tickle the shit out of
that sexy muppet.

But then afterwards
he might need his fur steam cleaned.
Would he still love me?
Haiku #67743, by DW of Covideo-19 yo with tramp stamp coughing viral pot smoke
July 27, 2020 8:15 am ET

Gasturbation Waltz
Steampunk Masquerade Gala
"Dancing" with myself
Haiku #67742, by L.L. Goya Bean of Undisclosed
July 27, 2020 5:25 am ET

Write down this number
Casino Taxi
Haiku #67741, by Person on the go of Nova Scotia Meat Stealing Operation
July 27, 2020 5:04 am ET

Peanuts! Cracker Jacks!
Give Brett's anus forty whacks
Hemorrhoid Pinata
Haiku #67740, by Royal Paine of In the ass
July 27, 2020 4:51 am ET

Peanuts! Cracker Jacks!
Give Brett's anus forty whacks
Hemorrhoid Pinata
Haiku #67739, by Royal Paine of In the ass
July 27, 2020 4:50 am ET

What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku #67738, by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET

What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku #67737, by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET

What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku #67736, by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET

Late July bitchslap
You had it coming to you
You. Darth Figpucker.
Haiku #67735, by You know
July 27, 2020 2:33 am ET

How your ass does stink
When you rise up from your seat
At the bingo hall
Haiku #67734, by Hold your corn of And your breath
July 26, 2020 3:18 am ET

I have a large cunt.
No, really, it's enormous.
See this pineapple?
Haiku #67733, by now you don't
July 26, 2020 1:54 am ET

But it wasn't lost.
It was up in the bleachers
watching the whole game.

It speaks Portuguese.
And some Spanish and Chinese.
Sentient swollen veins.

It ate some popcorn,
two hotdogs and fresh peanuts.
Washed down with cold beer.

Excised hemorrhoid.
Devoid horrid hemorrhoid.
Enjoying its life.
Haiku #67732, by 1st basement of vhs' outhouse of What a view from down here.
July 26, 2020 1:10 am ET

Eggs aren't ellipsoids.
You know; ova, egg, oval.
Stupid calc teacher.
Haiku #67731, by Calculate the volume of your momma's fat ass.
July 26, 2020 12:59 am ET

Soup of chicken cream.
Makes all of the chickens scream.
Chicken asshole ream.
Haiku #67730, by I'll have a side of toast and soft boiled hen cum, please. of And a small coffee and newspaper.
July 26, 2020 12:56 am ET

take a walk with me
down Memory Lane today
George Brett's lost hemorrhoid
Haiku #67729, by 3rd Base of Starkitten's
July 25, 2020 10:45 am ET

Cream of chicken soup
Makes me come when checkens poop
Then my wiener droop
Haiku #67728, by Tokey Smokey of Okie Dokie
July 25, 2020 1:52 am ET

I had a strange dream.
Bloody pus came out my nose.
I'd guess a kilo.

More was on the way.
And it actually felt good.
But then I woke up.

I have a head cold.
Maybe it's covid-19.
I don't really care.
Haiku #67727, by DW of Name for an Aussie bike gang: The Bastard Mates
July 23, 2020 10:29 pm ET

I'm not a Christian.
They don't eat balot in hell.
Satan has some taste.
Haiku #67726, by Praise God for that! of DW
July 23, 2020 10:22 pm ET

Trump's a snatch snatcher.
Greedy, arrogant, and rude.
My God! He's like me!
Haiku #67725, by Grab that pussy! of DW -- Going to hell b/c I want to. Satan's not such a bad fellow once you get to know him. At least he's not Filipino!
July 23, 2020 9:39 am ET

Soap is a nice thing
Washes away all the grime
Clean as a whistle
Haiku #67724, by Some whistles are actually quite dirty
July 23, 2020 12:17 am ET

Trump is so evil.
He is totally evil.
Because he's orange.
Haiku #67723, by Neurotic Leftists Virtue-Signaling and Projecting of Still going to HELL for rejecting God in Christ
July 22, 2020 11:48 pm ET

Y'all can suck haiku;
Suck it and then swallow it.
Cause yall is not WOKE
Haiku #67722, by Sleeping Late of Wokeville
July 22, 2020 11:42 pm ET

No one else is here.
How long can I dominate.
King of the dung hill.
Haiku #67721, by DW of No one loves me. Boo hoo. How sad.
July 22, 2020 9:39 pm ET

Fanny packs aren't cool?
Well, shit, when did this happen?
Did I miss something?
Haiku #67720, by DW of Let's play hacky sack and praise Satan.
July 20, 2020 8:40 pm ET

Bubbles in your jizz?
Testicular fartitude.
Jet powered sperm cells.
Haiku #67719, by Darth Whorendous of maybe too much beer
July 20, 2020 7:01 pm ET

White guys aren't so bad.
But orange colored snack products
should not hold office.

Oust the Cheeto-head.
He's the puppet of Chester.
Orange lives don't matter!
Haiku #67718, by DW
July 20, 2020 3:07 pm ET

You mean Joe Biden?
Well, he's not president yet . . .
but yes, he's funny!
Haiku #67717, by Riotous Would-Be Leaders of the Free World
July 20, 2020 9:09 am ET

speaking of white guys
wisdom from that president
is always a riot
Haiku #67716, by ash
July 20, 2020 8:36 am ET

I won't bow down to
Your bombastic testicles
Arrogant and vile
Haiku #67715, by Nell Carter's sexy Gucci purse
July 19, 2020 11:53 pm ET

Oh yes Alemprint.
You the haiku artiste now.
Thanks for blessing us.
Haiku #67714, by Alemprint Appreciation Society
July 18, 2020 8:44 pm ET
Haiku #67713, by Williamtar of Cuba
July 18, 2020 12:43 pm ET

I too would riot.
But my damn White Privilege
Will not allow it.
Haiku #67712, by Secret Asian Man #666
July 17, 2020 11:37 am ET

I want to riot.
But I'm just an old white guy.
With a small penis.
Haiku #67711, by DW
July 16, 2020 9:35 pm ET

I love corona.
I don't have to pay my bills.
Stay home and watch news.

Jack off to riots.
I've always hated the cops.
Always such assholes.

Yes sir, I have crack.
I stuck it way up my crack.
Reach in and get it.
Haiku #67710, by DW of Do I look like a fucking crack head? No, I'm a paint huffer! Big difference!
July 16, 2020 2:49 am ET

That was someone else.
Haven't owned undies in years.
...Except Underoos.

I'm Wonder Woman.
But please don't tell anyone.
Justice League orgies.
Haiku #67709, by Darth Whorendous of I would NEVER soil my Underoos!
July 15, 2020 3:46 pm ET

You soiled your undies....
Stashed in the neighbors mail box...
That's why you got none
Haiku #67708, by Eye in the sky
July 14, 2020 2:48 pm ET

I don't wear undies.
Underwear is oppression.
Like communism.
Haiku #67707, by dw
July 13, 2020 9:43 pm ET

If I could be Jim
I would give my people hell:
Jungle Paradise
Haiku #67706, by White Nights of Disinformation
July 13, 2020 5:41 pm ET

Jim Jones was a star.
I want to be like Jim Jones,
to help The People.
Haiku #67705, by REVOLUTION of Social Justice
July 12, 2020 1:58 pm ET

I am so, so glad
That I'm not Darth's underwear.
Must get quite messy.
Haiku #67704, by Perspectives of DW
July 12, 2020 8:27 am ET

TikTok videos
are too short to jack off to.
Chinese short life span.
Haiku #67703, by "Repent TikTok Man!" said the Harlequin. of DW
July 12, 2020 5:33 am ET

what is happening
i don't get y'all's politics
shut up and eat snot
Haiku #67702, by tall child of Michigan
July 12, 2020 2:22 am ET

There's nothing quite like
retarded children screaming
when you're doing math.
Haiku #67701, by DW of Ah well, God is laughing at me.
July 11, 2020 1:38 am ET

You didn't expect
the Spanish Inquisition
because no one does.
Haiku #67700, by DW of until it's too late.
July 11, 2020 1:36 am ET

The life of Brian.
When he opens the window.
Full Monty Python.
Haiku #67699, by And the crowd goes wild! of DW
July 10, 2020 9:59 pm ET

That butt-naked guy
Playing organ, backwards glance
on Monty Python
Haiku #67698, by Always cracked me up !
July 10, 2020 6:26 pm ET

Breath upon the vine
Pining for blushing faces
Sigh among branches
Haiku #67697, by MONARCH
July 10, 2020 5:27 pm ET

and now for something completely different
Haiku #67696, by that thing that did on monty python of changing scenes
July 10, 2020 5:26 pm ET

Lesbian Marxists
Trying to suppress families.
Do such lives matter?
Haiku #67695, by Woke-Ass Bitch of Tell U How it Iz
July 9, 2020 6:33 pm ET