Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
27 Years, 354 Days and 77338 Haiku later...

Peanuts! Cracker Jacks!
Give Brett's anus forty whacks
Hemorrhoid Pinata
Haiku # 67740, July 27, 2020 4:51 am ET
by Royal Paine of In the ass
Peanuts! Cracker Jacks!
Give Brett's anus forty whacks
Hemorrhoid Pinata
Haiku # 67739, July 27, 2020 4:50 am ET
by Royal Paine of In the ass
What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku # 67738, July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku # 67737, July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku # 67736, July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
Late July bitchslap
You had it coming to you
You. Darth Figpucker.
Haiku # 67735, July 27, 2020 2:33 am ET
by You know
How your ass does stink
When you rise up from your seat
At the bingo hall
Haiku # 67734, July 26, 2020 3:18 am ET
by Hold your corn of And your breath
I have a large cunt.
No, really, it's enormous.
See this pineapple?
Haiku # 67733, July 26, 2020 1:54 am ET
by now you don't
But it wasn't lost.
It was up in the bleachers
watching the whole game.

It speaks Portuguese.
And some Spanish and Chinese.
Sentient swollen veins.

It ate some popcorn,
two hotdogs and fresh peanuts.
Washed down with cold beer.

Excised hemorrhoid.
Devoid horrid hemorrhoid.
Enjoying its life.
Haiku # 67732, July 26, 2020 1:10 am ET
by 1st basement of vhs' outhouse of What a view from down here.
Eggs aren't ellipsoids.
You know; ova, egg, oval.
Stupid calc teacher.
Haiku # 67731, July 26, 2020 12:59 am ET
by Calculate the volume of your momma's fat ass.
Soup of chicken cream.
Makes all of the chickens scream.
Chicken asshole ream.
Haiku # 67730, July 26, 2020 12:56 am ET
by I'll have a side of toast and soft boiled hen cum, please. of And a small coffee and newspaper.
take a walk with me
down Memory Lane today
George Brett's lost hemorrhoid
Haiku # 67729, July 25, 2020 10:45 am ET
by 3rd Base of Starkitten's
Cream of chicken soup
Makes me come when checkens poop
Then my wiener droop
Haiku # 67728, July 25, 2020 1:52 am ET
by Tokey Smokey of Okie Dokie
I had a strange dream.
Bloody pus came out my nose.
I'd guess a kilo.

More was on the way.
And it actually felt good.
But then I woke up.

I have a head cold.
Maybe it's covid-19.
I don't really care.
Haiku # 67727, July 23, 2020 10:29 pm ET
by DW of Name for an Aussie bike gang: The Bastard Mates
I'm not a Christian.
They don't eat balot in hell.
Satan has some taste.
Haiku # 67726, July 23, 2020 10:22 pm ET
by Praise God for that! of DW
Trump's a snatch snatcher.
Greedy, arrogant, and rude.
My God! He's like me!
Haiku # 67725, July 23, 2020 9:39 am ET
by Grab that pussy! of DW -- Going to hell b/c I want to. Satan's not such a bad fellow once you get to know him. At least he's not Filipino!
Soap is a nice thing
Washes away all the grime
Clean as a whistle
Haiku # 67724, July 23, 2020 12:17 am ET
by Some whistles are actually quite dirty
Trump is so evil.
He is totally evil.
Because he's orange.
Haiku # 67723, July 22, 2020 11:48 pm ET
by Neurotic Leftists Virtue-Signaling and Projecting of Still going to HELL for rejecting God in Christ
Y'all can suck haiku;
Suck it and then swallow it.
Cause yall is not WOKE
Haiku # 67722, July 22, 2020 11:42 pm ET
by Sleeping Late of Wokeville
No one else is here.
How long can I dominate.
King of the dung hill.
Haiku # 67721, July 22, 2020 9:39 pm ET
by DW of No one loves me. Boo hoo. How sad.
Fanny packs aren't cool?
Well, shit, when did this happen?
Did I miss something?
Haiku # 67720, July 20, 2020 8:40 pm ET
by DW of Let's play hacky sack and praise Satan.
Bubbles in your jizz?
Testicular fartitude.
Jet powered sperm cells.
Haiku # 67719, July 20, 2020 7:01 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous of maybe too much beer
White guys aren't so bad.
But orange colored snack products
should not hold office.

Oust the Cheeto-head.
He's the puppet of Chester.
Orange lives don't matter!
Haiku # 67718, July 20, 2020 3:07 pm ET
by DW
You mean Joe Biden?
Well, he's not president yet . . .
but yes, he's funny!
Haiku # 67717, July 20, 2020 9:09 am ET
by Riotous Would-Be Leaders of the Free World
speaking of white guys
wisdom from that president
is always a riot
Haiku # 67716, July 20, 2020 8:36 am ET
by ash
I won't bow down to
Your bombastic testicles
Arrogant and vile
Haiku # 67715, July 19, 2020 11:53 pm ET
by Nell Carter's sexy Gucci purse
Oh yes Alemprint.
You the haiku artiste now.
Thanks for blessing us.
Haiku # 67714, July 18, 2020 8:44 pm ET
by Alemprint Appreciation Society
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/shirokoformatnaya-pechat
http://www.grandprint.su http://www.grandprint.su
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/pechat-bannerov
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/pechat-na-plenke
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/pechat-na-oboyah
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/shirokoformatnaya-pechat
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/pechat-bannerov
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/press-wall
https://www.alemprint.ru/uslugi/pechat-na-setke
Haiku # 67713, July 18, 2020 12:43 pm ET
by Williamtar of Cuba
I too would riot.
But my damn White Privilege
Will not allow it.
Haiku # 67712, July 17, 2020 11:37 am ET
by Secret Asian Man #666
I want to riot.
But I'm just an old white guy.
With a small penis.
Haiku # 67711, July 16, 2020 9:35 pm ET
by DW
I love corona.
I don't have to pay my bills.
Stay home and watch news.

Jack off to riots.
I've always hated the cops.
Always such assholes.

Yes sir, I have crack.
I stuck it way up my crack.
Reach in and get it.
Haiku # 67710, July 16, 2020 2:49 am ET
by DW of Do I look like a fucking crack head? No, I'm a paint huffer! Big difference!
That was someone else.
Haven't owned undies in years.
...Except Underoos.

I'm Wonder Woman.
But please don't tell anyone.
Justice League orgies.
Haiku # 67709, July 15, 2020 3:46 pm ET
by Darth Whorendous of I would NEVER soil my Underoos!
You soiled your undies....
Stashed in the neighbors mail box...
That's why you got none
Haiku # 67708, July 14, 2020 2:48 pm ET
by Eye in the sky
I don't wear undies.
Underwear is oppression.
Like communism.
Haiku # 67707, July 13, 2020 9:43 pm ET
by dw
If I could be Jim
I would give my people hell:
Jungle Paradise
Haiku # 67706, July 13, 2020 5:41 pm ET
by White Nights of Disinformation
Jim Jones was a star.
I want to be like Jim Jones,
to help The People.
Haiku # 67705, July 12, 2020 1:58 pm ET
by REVOLUTION of Social Justice
I am so, so glad
That I'm not Darth's underwear.
Must get quite messy.
Haiku # 67704, July 12, 2020 8:27 am ET
by Perspectives of DW
TikTok videos
are too short to jack off to.
Chinese short life span.
Haiku # 67703, July 12, 2020 5:33 am ET
by "Repent TikTok Man!" said the Harlequin. of DW
what is happening
i don't get y'all's politics
shut up and eat snot
Haiku # 67702, July 12, 2020 2:22 am ET
by tall child of Michigan
There's nothing quite like
retarded children screaming
when you're doing math.
Haiku # 67701, July 11, 2020 1:38 am ET
by DW of Ah well, God is laughing at me.
You didn't expect
the Spanish Inquisition
because no one does.
Haiku # 67700, July 11, 2020 1:36 am ET
by DW of until it's too late.
The life of Brian.
When he opens the window.
Full Monty Python.
Haiku # 67699, July 10, 2020 9:59 pm ET
by And the crowd goes wild! of DW
That butt-naked guy
Playing organ, backwards glance
on Monty Python
Haiku # 67698, July 10, 2020 6:26 pm ET
by Always cracked me up !
Breath upon the vine
Pining for blushing faces
Sigh among branches
Haiku # 67697, July 10, 2020 5:27 pm ET
by MONARCH
and now for something completely different
Haiku # 67696, July 10, 2020 5:26 pm ET
by that thing that did on monty python of changing scenes
Lesbian Marxists
Trying to suppress families.
Do such lives matter?
Haiku # 67695, July 9, 2020 6:33 pm ET
by Woke-Ass Bitch of Tell U How it Iz
Christ, that's fucking good!
Phil, I laughed my fat ass off...
Wait, no, it's still there.
Haiku # 67694, July 9, 2020 11:11 am ET
by DW of need to lose weight. :-(
Fart while jerking Off?
Then call it gasterbation.
Get out your matches.
Haiku # 67693, July 9, 2020 7:13 am ET
by Phil Lesh
When I beat off quick
I call it fasterbation.
Get out your stopwatch.
Haiku # 67692, July 8, 2020 9:27 am ET
by DW
Forrest Gump's Jenny
has become an escort girl.
No one is surprised.
Haiku # 67691, July 8, 2020 9:26 am ET
by DW
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