Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 339 Days and 72781 Haikus later...

Hey, pull my finger
Try aromatherapy
The smell of a fart
Haiku # 67814, August 12, 2020 8:25 am ET
by Fart Knower of Undisclosed
100 pushups.
And I mean without stopping.
Come on you pussies!
Haiku # 67813, August 11, 2020 10:55 pm ET
by DW of Drill Sergeant Wannabe
Christopher Walken.
That's my choice for president.
Fuck those other guys.
Haiku # 67812, August 11, 2020 10:52 pm ET
by Hidden watches
If you see my ex,
please try to give her covid.
Maybe ebola.
Haiku # 67811, August 11, 2020 10:44 pm ET
by DW
Alligator gar
This fishing expedition
made me shit my pants
Haiku # 67810, August 11, 2020 10:27 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
OH you are so vile.
You have just ruined it all.
Please leave me alone.
Haiku # 67809, August 11, 2020 9:46 pm ET
by Distraught Female of Sobbing Hysterically in Haiku
Take three Hail Marys
And call me in the morning
He spoke, pulling out
Haiku # 67808, August 11, 2020 8:20 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Rectory parking lot
Under old willow
I have heard the wind whisper
"FREE CUNNILINGUS!"
Haiku # 67807, August 11, 2020 5:06 pm ET
by Starkitten
first I tried Tinder
no luck. next on to Grindr-
my asshole is sore
Haiku # 67806, August 11, 2020 8:41 am ET
by HoreToCulture of Brown Town
Sodomized by Freud.
He was psycho analized.
For five hundred bucks.

There are no refunds.
Best see a proctologist.
Your guts will fall out.
Haiku # 67805, August 11, 2020 1:11 am ET
by Roman happiness penis.
Recurring visions.
The WalMart was abandoned.
Completely ransacked.

I don't know the cause.
Virus, war, or disaster.
Maybe it was you.
Haiku # 67804, August 11, 2020 1:00 am ET
by Or maybe huge titties. of Probably Russian titties.
The whore has huge tits.
And she's not wearing a bra.
Coffee mug nipples.
Haiku # 67803, August 11, 2020 12:54 am ET
by Get a handle, old man.
My God, what a blast.
Bombs are so entertaining.
Moreso when folks die.
Haiku # 67802, August 11, 2020 12:50 am ET
by That was several hundred times more powerful than the OKC bomb. Amazing really.
Fuck murder hornets!
I mean that literally
....find them quite sexy
Haiku # 67801, August 10, 2020 11:33 pm ET
by Phil Lesh.....Kind of like a "furry," but with insects
I won't analyze.
I just want to go shopping.
Too many theories.
Haiku # 67800, August 9, 2020 2:28 pm ET
by Typical Brainwashed Zombie of Consumer Circus
set us up the bomb
in a port in lebanon
suddenly it's gone
Haiku # 67799, August 8, 2020 9:50 pm ET
by ash of somewhere far away
American fool
We are will shortly crush you.
Ha ha. Funny jokes.
Haiku # 67798, August 8, 2020 1:52 pm ET
by Goose-stepping Chinaman with AK-47 and Rocket Launcher of Xi Jin Ping Pong Paddle
There is no covid.
Trump made it all up.
Winnie the Pooh's cock.

Figuratively.
I mean the Chinese Chairman.
What the fuck's his name?
Haiku # 67797, August 7, 2020 6:28 am ET
by Mousy Dung
You, paddling my ass
Always in that meet porn store
Sticking out your pud.
Haiku # 67796, August 7, 2020 6:04 am ET
by that will be $15.
You, peddling your ass
Always on that street corner
Sticking out your poems
Haiku # 67795, August 7, 2020 2:23 am ET
by Grossed out of In the vicinity
You should stop reading.
Walk the streets in search of life.
Never return home.
Haiku # 67794, August 5, 2020 9:10 pm ET
by High school conselor.
Come and partake of
the LSD communion
acetylene tank.

Become a member.
The First Church of Future Christ.
Meth off a whore's tits.
Haiku # 67793, August 5, 2020 7:53 pm ET
by Free coffee and donuts too! of Temple whore revenue. Nuns get none, sums get some.
If Jesus Christ died
for the sins I commited,
then he got off light.

Next time he comes here
we'll use drugs and blow torches.
Welding tank necklace.
Haiku # 67792, August 5, 2020 7:46 pm ET
by dw
Leave me out of this
(Said the guy who hung around
and did magic tricks.)
Haiku # 67791, August 5, 2020 1:51 pm ET
by Sister Christian of Motoring
Trumpers gonna Trump.
Marxist queers will Marxist queer.
But Christ is still Lord.
Haiku # 67790, August 5, 2020 9:51 am ET
by Big Eva of the Celestial Machinery
It is what it is.
What a callous piece of shit
Hashtag, Trump virus
Haiku # 67789, August 5, 2020 7:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Horses on the track
Woke up with my ass on fire
Horses on the track
Haiku # 67788, August 4, 2020 2:08 pm ET
by Motivated by Oats of Undisclosed
17 feet tall
Makes it kind of difficult
For us to bang, eh?
Haiku # 67787, August 4, 2020 1:59 pm ET
by Ivana Blowyathough of Standing near spaceship, Canada
the world has gone mad
but i was already there
before the tourists
Haiku # 67786, August 4, 2020 9:33 am ET
by ash
Keep talking, bitches.
Your days are known and numbered.
Haiku will get you.
Haiku # 67785, August 3, 2020 8:40 pm ET
by Black Ops of Haiku
Horrid hoarfrost hoards.
Horrible horny whoring
horrendous hoar horns.
Haiku # 67784, August 3, 2020 8:14 pm ET
by DW of How do I know I'm not a robot?
You mean Scott Spicer?
He was the Easter Bunny
He died for your sins
Haiku # 67783, August 3, 2020 8:14 pm ET
by Henrietta (cluck) of Ovum Office
Bugs Bunny's my mom.
I squirmed out of his anus
and from the TV.

Living room carpet
with its awful ugly stain.
I jump from the floor.

And into your face.
Inserted in your eyeball.
Why are you so dead?
Haiku # 67782, August 3, 2020 8:04 pm ET
by DW of I want an Easter egg! I want an Easter egg! I want an Easter egg!
Vaseline is cheap
And I got lots of
Spare time on my hands
Haiku # 67781, August 3, 2020 1:20 pm ET
by Pete Roleum of Under old willow
so in god we trust
but who is god? Well its me
yeah thats right fuck you
Haiku # 67780, August 3, 2020 2:02 am ET
by Line of lines
The Grand Poohbah
Grabbing Mrs. Cunningham
Like a bowling ball
Haiku # 67779, August 3, 2020 12:57 am ET
by All Seeing Eye of Milwaukee
Just think happy thoughts
Dream of a tasty sandwich
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 67778, August 3, 2020 12:00 am ET
by Never gonna give you up of Never gonna let you down
more and more covid
stay calm, breathe in and breathe out
but don't breathe virus
Haiku # 67777, August 2, 2020 9:06 am ET
by ash
That MC5 rock
From Detroit Motor City
Was lame-ass pansy
Haiku # 67776, August 1, 2020 10:06 pm ET
by Kick Out The Germs of Ramalama Fa Fa Fa
Everybody up
Bad Haiku kick out the jams
You are the star now
Haiku # 67775, August 1, 2020 8:36 pm ET
by Polite Lizard of Thetis Lake
Dandelion Greens
A study in gluttony
Open House : my pants
Haiku # 67774, August 1, 2020 8:12 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
The barking spider
of the golden electroplate
Oomph Loompa Guild
Haiku # 67773, August 1, 2020 8:01 pm ET
by Gut Feeling of It's an outsie.....really
Darth himself is smeared
All over the floor and wall:
our haiku shithouse.
Haiku # 67772, August 1, 2020 4:49 pm ET
by Orality of Fecality of Reality
A bright flowing stream,
Quiet grove of blissful shade:
All this means nothing...
Haiku # 67771, August 1, 2020 4:45 pm ET
by Sources of Denial
The floor is lava
Dude, fecal incontinence
is the volcano
Haiku # 67770, August 1, 2020 2:37 pm ET
by Greg, Peter and Bobby of Brady Bunch residence
trust me, i've felt like
ending my existence cause
i didn't want to clean

the floor anymore.
Haiku # 67769, August 1, 2020 2:02 pm ET
by vhs
Viral hysteria . . .
Globalist agenda fail:
because of haiku.
Haiku # 67768, August 1, 2020 10:19 am ET
by George Soros' Mother-in-law of Gehenna
Just re-write the numbers.
That's how we will beat covid.
Trump's a great leader!
Haiku # 67767, July 31, 2020 6:35 pm ET
by dw
But I am not lost.
I'm right here in the fish bowl.
Care for some sushi?
Haiku # 67766, July 31, 2020 6:33 pm ET
by DW of Wasabi? Y or N? It's the latest cure for covid.
send me a dollar
in return you will receive
one haiku poem
Haiku # 67765, July 31, 2020 2:19 pm ET
by Saving Up of for weed
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