Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 253 Days and 71025 Haikus later...

so in god we trust
but who is god? Well its me
yeah thats right fuck you
Haiku # 67780, August 3, 2020 2:02 am ET
by Line of lines
The Grand Poohbah
Grabbing Mrs. Cunningham
Like a bowling ball
Haiku # 67779, August 3, 2020 12:57 am ET
by All Seeing Eye of Milwaukee
Just think happy thoughts
Dream of a tasty sandwich
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 67778, August 3, 2020 12:00 am ET
by Never gonna give you up of Never gonna let you down
more and more covid
stay calm, breathe in and breathe out
but don't breathe virus
Haiku # 67777, August 2, 2020 9:06 am ET
by ash
That MC5 rock
From Detroit Motor City
Was lame-ass pansy
Haiku # 67776, August 1, 2020 10:06 pm ET
by Kick Out The Germs of Ramalama Fa Fa Fa
Everybody up
Bad Haiku kick out the jams
You are the star now
Haiku # 67775, August 1, 2020 8:36 pm ET
by Polite Lizard of Thetis Lake
Dandelion Greens
A study in gluttony
Open House : my pants
Haiku # 67774, August 1, 2020 8:12 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
The barking spider
of the golden electroplate
Oomph Loompa Guild
Haiku # 67773, August 1, 2020 8:01 pm ET
by Gut Feeling of It's an outsie.....really
Darth himself is smeared
All over the floor and wall:
our haiku shithouse.
Haiku # 67772, August 1, 2020 4:49 pm ET
by Orality of Fecality of Reality
A bright flowing stream,
Quiet grove of blissful shade:
All this means nothing...
Haiku # 67771, August 1, 2020 4:45 pm ET
by Sources of Denial
The floor is lava
Dude, fecal incontinence
is the volcano
Haiku # 67770, August 1, 2020 2:37 pm ET
by Greg, Peter and Bobby of Brady Bunch residence
trust me, i've felt like
ending my existence cause
i didn't want to clean

the floor anymore.
Haiku # 67769, August 1, 2020 2:02 pm ET
by vhs
Viral hysteria . . .
Globalist agenda fail:
because of haiku.
Haiku # 67768, August 1, 2020 10:19 am ET
by George Soros' Mother-in-law of Gehenna
Just re-write the numbers.
That's how we will beat covid.
Trump's a great leader!
Haiku # 67767, July 31, 2020 6:35 pm ET
by dw
But I am not lost.
I'm right here in the fish bowl.
Care for some sushi?
Haiku # 67766, July 31, 2020 6:33 pm ET
by DW of Wasabi? Y or N? It's the latest cure for covid.
send me a dollar
in return you will receive
one haiku poem
Haiku # 67765, July 31, 2020 2:19 pm ET
by Saving Up of for weed
Ash and Whorrendous:
Two lost souls in a fishbowl...
Or haiku cesspool.
Haiku # 67764, July 31, 2020 12:13 pm ET
by Year after Year of Fink Ployd
i'm sick of covid
just like this lovely planet
is sick of humans
Haiku # 67763, July 31, 2020 8:42 am ET
by ash of terra
You got that right, bud
Dust is mostly your dead skin
You are such a flake
Haiku # 67762, July 31, 2020 3:20 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
Today, my skin goes
Becomes dust as I walk away
Bye bitch, see you never
Haiku # 67761, July 30, 2020 10:59 pm ET
by Line of lines
Major Figpucker
Applies two layers of goose grease
Prepares for lift off
Haiku # 67760, July 29, 2020 9:26 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of NASA Phillipines Outpost
Just tell me one thing
Can a man get a boner
Up in Outer Space?
Haiku # 67759, July 29, 2020 9:21 pm ET
by Moon Unit of Moon
We'll fund the Space Force
with zero-g porno flicks.
Starring Mexicans.
Haiku # 67758, July 29, 2020 9:20 pm ET
by Build a wall around THIS! of dw
Space shuttle orgies.
You know it had to happen.
Where's the video?!
Haiku # 67757, July 29, 2020 4:48 pm ET
by vhs' garden gnome
Third world Tang flavors.
Obligatory orange.
Fucking sucralose.
Haiku # 67756, July 29, 2020 4:46 pm ET
by I remember when it was orange flavor, sugar, and citric acid.... now I can't pronounce the ingredients. of Cancer! Give it to me now!
Astronaut poon Tang.
Fish pudding popsicle sticks.
Bill Cosby enjoys.
Haiku # 67755, July 29, 2020 4:43 pm ET
by Mmmmm mmmm good! of dw memories
Shit on the front lawn
Madly hunching and circling
Now youâ
Haiku # 67754, July 29, 2020 3:17 pm ET
by F. Lee Koehler of Screened in porch
Hot demon semen
Do astronauts still drink Tang?
Alien DNA load
Haiku # 67753, July 29, 2020 3:08 pm ET
by Flappy of Village of Flagellum
i'm not a robot.
no really, but if i were
i'd still click that box
Haiku # 67752, July 29, 2020 11:04 am ET
by scotch of there is no spoon; how will i stir my coffee?
dream sex with demons
and alien DNA?
she missed her calling
Haiku # 67751, July 29, 2020 11:01 am ET
by scotch of untied states of rapid descent
I like to eat food
Sometimes it is delicious
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku # 67750, July 28, 2020 11:02 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
John Boy Walton's shaft
Exploding Hindenburg style
(Bedroom light goes out)
Haiku # 67749, July 28, 2020 3:47 am ET
by John Boy Walton's Mole of Cheek
Oh my God! You people are so disgusting.
What the hell's a haiku?
This is stupid.
Haiku # 67748, July 27, 2020 5:59 pm ET
by Paris Hilton
Did the wood get warped
When Gepetto spent his load
On Pinnochio?
Haiku # 67747, July 27, 2020 5:28 pm ET
by Load Miser of Undisclosed
I like the Devil.
You know, the one from South Park.
The best character.
Haiku # 67746, July 27, 2020 5:07 pm ET
by dw
Does a dry cough mean
you hack up boogers, not phlegm?
Skunky cough boogers.

Oh wait, that's resin.
THC from a whore's lung.
Who wants to get high?

Snoop Dog's down for it.
How about you, vhs?
Relax! I'm joking!

Here's a beer for you.
Imported from Germany.
Pot's the Devil's work.
Haiku # 67745, July 27, 2020 5:05 pm ET
by dw
God hates all poets.
Especially bitter ones.
Go write a novel.
Haiku # 67744, July 27, 2020 4:57 pm ET
by Darth Whorrendous
That was no bitch slap.
That was merely a tickle.
Kind of like Elmo.

Elmo's kind of hot.
I'd tickle the shit out of
that sexy muppet.

But then afterwards
he might need his fur steam cleaned.
Would he still love me?
Haiku # 67743, July 27, 2020 8:15 am ET
by DW of Covideo-19 yo with tramp stamp coughing viral pot smoke
Gasturbation Waltz
Steampunk Masquerade Gala
"Dancing" with myself
Haiku # 67742, July 27, 2020 5:25 am ET
by L.L. Goya Bean of Undisclosed
Write down this number
429-6666
Casino Taxi
Haiku # 67741, July 27, 2020 5:04 am ET
by Person on the go of Nova Scotia Meat Stealing Operation
Peanuts! Cracker Jacks!
Give Brett's anus forty whacks
Hemorrhoid Pinata
Haiku # 67740, July 27, 2020 4:51 am ET
by Royal Paine of In the ass
Peanuts! Cracker Jacks!
Give Brett's anus forty whacks
Hemorrhoid Pinata
Haiku # 67739, July 27, 2020 4:50 am ET
by Royal Paine of In the ass
What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku # 67738, July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku # 67737, July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
What did I just see?
That's not your belly button
But it's an outsie
Haiku # 67736, July 27, 2020 4:45 am ET
by Noticer of Details of Undisclosed
Late July bitchslap
You had it coming to you
You. Darth Figpucker.
Haiku # 67735, July 27, 2020 2:33 am ET
by You know
How your ass does stink
When you rise up from your seat
At the bingo hall
Haiku # 67734, July 26, 2020 3:18 am ET
by Hold your corn of And your breath
I have a large cunt.
No, really, it's enormous.
See this pineapple?
Haiku # 67733, July 26, 2020 1:54 am ET
by now you don't
But it wasn't lost.
It was up in the bleachers
watching the whole game.

It speaks Portuguese.
And some Spanish and Chinese.
Sentient swollen veins.

It ate some popcorn,
two hotdogs and fresh peanuts.
Washed down with cold beer.

Excised hemorrhoid.
Devoid horrid hemorrhoid.
Enjoying its life.
Haiku # 67732, July 26, 2020 1:10 am ET
by 1st basement of vhs' outhouse of What a view from down here.
Eggs aren't ellipsoids.
You know; ova, egg, oval.
Stupid calc teacher.
Haiku # 67731, July 26, 2020 12:59 am ET
by Calculate the volume of your momma's fat ass.
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