BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
350 Days
and
68533 Haikus
later...
Craving venison.
Or maybe some fresh bison.
Don't even cook it.
Haiku #67827, by Wolf boy bloody chin. of That time of the month.
August 13, 2020 5:47 pm ET

You ever wake up
and think, I'll destroy my kids'
lives today? She did.
Haiku #67826, by Whores should not be moms. of Moms should not be whores.
August 13, 2020 5:38 pm ET

All those that eat pork
have widened piggy noses
and smell like pigs too.

And big fat rednecks
eat mountains of beef products.
You are what you eat.

So eat some pussy
and you'll become a poet.
I'm right, Chewy Chew!

Filthy Goddamn whores.
Every Goddamn one of them.
Just like DaVinci.

Attention seekers.
"Repent TikTok-Man!" said the
Joker's Harlequin.
Haiku #67825, by Allahu Akbar! Oy vay already! of hmmm... I've never tried wild boar. Maybe it's okay.
August 13, 2020 5:25 pm ET

it isn't all bad.
there's macaroni and cheese
and...that's all i got
Haiku #67824, by scotch of it's good though
August 13, 2020 4:04 pm ET

Loaded 22
Dildo over the barrel
You talking to me?
Haiku #67823, by Sausage dink of Undisclosed
August 13, 2020 2:49 pm ET

The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
Haiku #67822, by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
August 13, 2020 2:33 pm ET

The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
Haiku #67821, by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
August 13, 2020 2:33 pm ET

The Filipinos ?
Or all humans in general,
Including the Jews...
Haiku #67820, by Porcine of Not Herd
August 13, 2020 1:32 pm ET

They are such fat pigs.
They don't even look human.
Overdosed on pork.
Haiku #67819, by DW of Divorce attorney's office.
August 13, 2020 6:04 am ET

Just one more tonight:
One more prolonged death-spasm.
Terminal haiku.
Haiku #67818, by Flatlined Line of Lines
August 12, 2020 10:45 pm ET

Dirty fingernails
Eureka! More syllables
Rectal spelunking
Haiku #67817, by Ben A. Miner of Hollywood/Redwood
August 12, 2020 8:44 pm ET

Scratch where it itches.
Mine the poetic riches.
Top THIS one, bitches. . . .
Haiku #67816, by Line of Lines
August 12, 2020 7:15 pm ET

shackled to my desk
forced to endure this cruel fate:
my boss's humming
Haiku #67815, by Office Guy of Close to Suicide
August 12, 2020 1:29 pm ET

Hey, pull my finger
Try aromatherapy
The smell of a fart
Haiku #67814, by Fart Knower of Undisclosed
August 12, 2020 8:25 am ET

100 pushups.
And I mean without stopping.
Come on you pussies!
Haiku #67813, by DW of Drill Sergeant Wannabe
August 11, 2020 10:55 pm ET

Christopher Walken.
That's my choice for president.
Fuck those other guys.
Haiku #67812, by Hidden watches
August 11, 2020 10:52 pm ET

If you see my ex,
please try to give her covid.
Maybe ebola.
Haiku #67811, by DW
August 11, 2020 10:44 pm ET

Alligator gar
This fishing expedition
made me shit my pants
Haiku #67810, by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
August 11, 2020 10:27 pm ET

OH you are so vile.
You have just ruined it all.
Please leave me alone.
Haiku #67809, by Distraught Female of Sobbing Hysterically in Haiku
August 11, 2020 9:46 pm ET

Take three Hail Marys
And call me in the morning
He spoke, pulling out
Haiku #67808, by Noticer of Details of Rectory parking lot
August 11, 2020 8:20 pm ET

Under old willow
I have heard the wind whisper
"FREE CUNNILINGUS!"
Haiku #67807, by Starkitten
August 11, 2020 5:06 pm ET

first I tried Tinder
no luck. next on to Grindr-
my asshole is sore
Haiku #67806, by HoreToCulture of Brown Town
August 11, 2020 8:41 am ET

Sodomized by Freud.
He was psycho analized.
For five hundred bucks.

There are no refunds.
Best see a proctologist.
Your guts will fall out.
Haiku #67805, by Roman happiness penis.
August 11, 2020 1:11 am ET

Recurring visions.
The WalMart was abandoned.
Completely ransacked.

I don't know the cause.
Virus, war, or disaster.
Maybe it was you.
Haiku #67804, by Or maybe huge titties. of Probably Russian titties.
August 11, 2020 1:00 am ET

The whore has huge tits.
And she's not wearing a bra.
Coffee mug nipples.
Haiku #67803, by Get a handle, old man.
August 11, 2020 12:54 am ET

My God, what a blast.
Bombs are so entertaining.
Moreso when folks die.
Haiku #67802, by That was several hundred times more powerful than the OKC bomb. Amazing really.
August 11, 2020 12:50 am ET

Fuck murder hornets!
I mean that literally
....find them quite sexy
Haiku #67801, by Phil Lesh.....Kind of like a "furry," but with insects
August 10, 2020 11:33 pm ET

I won't analyze.
I just want to go shopping.
Too many theories.
Haiku #67800, by Typical Brainwashed Zombie of Consumer Circus
August 9, 2020 2:28 pm ET

set us up the bomb
in a port in lebanon
suddenly it's gone
Haiku #67799, by ash of somewhere far away
August 8, 2020 9:50 pm ET

American fool
We are will shortly crush you.
Ha ha. Funny jokes.
Haiku #67798, by Goose-stepping Chinaman with AK-47 and Rocket Launcher of Xi Jin Ping Pong Paddle
August 8, 2020 1:52 pm ET

There is no covid.
Trump made it all up.
Winnie the Pooh's cock.

Figuratively.
I mean the Chinese Chairman.
What the fuck's his name?
Haiku #67797, by Mousy Dung
August 7, 2020 6:28 am ET

You, paddling my ass
Always in that meet porn store
Sticking out your pud.
Haiku #67796, by that will be $15.
August 7, 2020 6:04 am ET

You, peddling your ass
Always on that street corner
Sticking out your poems
Haiku #67795, by Grossed out of In the vicinity
August 7, 2020 2:23 am ET

You should stop reading.
Walk the streets in search of life.
Never return home.
Haiku #67794, by High school conselor.
August 5, 2020 9:10 pm ET

Come and partake of
the LSD communion
acetylene tank.

Become a member.
The First Church of Future Christ.
Meth off a whore's tits.
Haiku #67793, by Free coffee and donuts too! of Temple whore revenue. Nuns get none, sums get some.
August 5, 2020 7:53 pm ET

If Jesus Christ died
for the sins I commited,
then he got off light.

Next time he comes here
we'll use drugs and blow torches.
Welding tank necklace.
Haiku #67792, by dw
August 5, 2020 7:46 pm ET

Leave me out of this
(Said the guy who hung around
and did magic tricks.)
Haiku #67791, by Sister Christian of Motoring
August 5, 2020 1:51 pm ET

Trumpers gonna Trump.
Marxist queers will Marxist queer.
But Christ is still Lord.
Haiku #67790, by Big Eva of the Celestial Machinery
August 5, 2020 9:51 am ET

It is what it is.
What a callous piece of shit
Hashtag, Trump virus
Haiku #67789, by Anonymous Poet
August 5, 2020 7:11 am ET

Horses on the track
Woke up with my ass on fire
Horses on the track
Haiku #67788, by Motivated by Oats of Undisclosed
August 4, 2020 2:08 pm ET

17 feet tall
Makes it kind of difficult
For us to bang, eh?
Haiku #67787, by Ivana Blowyathough of Standing near spaceship, Canada
August 4, 2020 1:59 pm ET

the world has gone mad
but i was already there
before the tourists
Haiku #67786, by ash
August 4, 2020 9:33 am ET

Keep talking, bitches.
Your days are known and numbered.
Haiku will get you.
Haiku #67785, by Black Ops of Haiku
August 3, 2020 8:40 pm ET

Horrid hoarfrost hoards.
Horrible horny whoring
horrendous hoar horns.
Haiku #67784, by DW of How do I know I'm not a robot?
August 3, 2020 8:14 pm ET

You mean Scott Spicer?
He was the Easter Bunny
He died for your sins
Haiku #67783, by Henrietta (cluck) of Ovum Office
August 3, 2020 8:14 pm ET

Bugs Bunny's my mom.
I squirmed out of his anus
and from the TV.

Living room carpet
with its awful ugly stain.
I jump from the floor.

And into your face.
Inserted in your eyeball.
Why are you so dead?
Haiku #67782, by DW of I want an Easter egg! I want an Easter egg! I want an Easter egg!
August 3, 2020 8:04 pm ET

Vaseline is cheap
And I got lots of
Spare time on my hands
Haiku #67781, by Pete Roleum of Under old willow
August 3, 2020 1:20 pm ET

so in god we trust
but who is god? Well its me
yeah thats right fuck you
Haiku #67780, by Line of lines
August 3, 2020 2:02 am ET

The Grand Poohbah
Grabbing Mrs. Cunningham
Like a bowling ball
Haiku #67779, by All Seeing Eye of Milwaukee
August 3, 2020 12:57 am ET

Just think happy thoughts
Dream of a tasty sandwich
Tom Bosley's penis
Haiku #67778, by Never gonna give you up of Never gonna let you down
August 3, 2020 12:00 am ET