Bad Haiku

Dirty fingernails
Eureka! More syllables
Rectal spelunking

Haiku #67817, by Ben A. Miner of Hollywood/Redwood
August 12, 2020 8:44 pm ET

Scratch where it itches.
Mine the poetic riches.
Top THIS one, bitches. . . .

Haiku #67816, by Line of Lines
August 12, 2020 7:15 pm ET

shackled to my desk
forced to endure this cruel fate:
my boss's humming

Haiku #67815, by Office Guy of Close to Suicide
August 12, 2020 1:29 pm ET

Hey, pull my finger
Try aromatherapy
The smell of a fart

Haiku #67814, by Fart Knower of Undisclosed
August 12, 2020 8:25 am ET

100 pushups.
And I mean without stopping.
Come on you pussies!

Haiku #67813, by DW of Drill Sergeant Wannabe
August 11, 2020 10:55 pm ET

Christopher Walken.
That's my choice for president.
Fuck those other guys.

Haiku #67812, by Hidden watches
August 11, 2020 10:52 pm ET

If you see my ex,
please try to give her covid.
Maybe ebola.

Haiku #67811, by DW
August 11, 2020 10:44 pm ET

Alligator gar
This fishing expedition
made me shit my pants

Haiku #67810, by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
August 11, 2020 10:27 pm ET

OH you are so vile.
You have just ruined it all.
Please leave me alone.

Haiku #67809, by Distraught Female of Sobbing Hysterically in Haiku
August 11, 2020 9:46 pm ET

Take three Hail Marys
And call me in the morning
He spoke, pulling out

Haiku #67808, by Noticer of Details of Rectory parking lot
August 11, 2020 8:20 pm ET

Under old willow
I have heard the wind whisper
"FREE CUNNILINGUS!"

Haiku #67807, by Starkitten
August 11, 2020 5:06 pm ET

first I tried Tinder
no luck. next on to Grindr-
my asshole is sore

Haiku #67806, by HoreToCulture of Brown Town
August 11, 2020 8:41 am ET

Sodomized by Freud.
He was psycho analized.
For five hundred bucks.

There are no refunds.
Best see a proctologist.
Your guts will fall out.

Haiku #67805, by Roman happiness penis.
August 11, 2020 1:11 am ET

Recurring visions.
The WalMart was abandoned.
Completely ransacked.

I don't know the cause.
Virus, war, or disaster.
Maybe it was you.

Haiku #67804, by Or maybe huge titties. of Probably Russian titties.
August 11, 2020 1:00 am ET

The whore has huge tits.
And she's not wearing a bra.
Coffee mug nipples.

Haiku #67803, by Get a handle, old man.
August 11, 2020 12:54 am ET

My God, what a blast.
Bombs are so entertaining.
Moreso when folks die.

Haiku #67802, by That was several hundred times more powerful than the OKC bomb. Amazing really.
August 11, 2020 12:50 am ET

Fuck murder hornets!
I mean that literally
....find them quite sexy

Haiku #67801, by Phil Lesh.....Kind of like a "furry," but with insects
August 10, 2020 11:33 pm ET

I won't analyze.
I just want to go shopping.
Too many theories.

Haiku #67800, by Typical Brainwashed Zombie of Consumer Circus
August 9, 2020 2:28 pm ET

set us up the bomb
in a port in lebanon
suddenly it's gone

Haiku #67799, by ash of somewhere far away
August 8, 2020 9:50 pm ET

American fool
We are will shortly crush you.
Ha ha. Funny jokes.

Haiku #67798, by Goose-stepping Chinaman with AK-47 and Rocket Launcher of Xi Jin Ping Pong Paddle
August 8, 2020 1:52 pm ET

There is no covid.
Trump made it all up.
Winnie the Pooh's cock.

Figuratively.
I mean the Chinese Chairman.
What the fuck's his name?

Haiku #67797, by Mousy Dung
August 7, 2020 6:28 am ET

You, paddling my ass
Always in that meet porn store
Sticking out your pud.

Haiku #67796, by that will be $15.
August 7, 2020 6:04 am ET

You, peddling your ass
Always on that street corner
Sticking out your poems

Haiku #67795, by Grossed out of In the vicinity
August 7, 2020 2:23 am ET

You should stop reading.
Walk the streets in search of life.
Never return home.

Haiku #67794, by High school conselor.
August 5, 2020 9:10 pm ET

Come and partake of
the LSD communion
acetylene tank.

Become a member.
The First Church of Future Christ.
Meth off a whore's tits.

Haiku #67793, by Free coffee and donuts too! of Temple whore revenue. Nuns get none, sums get some.
August 5, 2020 7:53 pm ET

If Jesus Christ died
for the sins I commited,
then he got off light.

Next time he comes here
we'll use drugs and blow torches.
Welding tank necklace.

Haiku #67792, by dw
August 5, 2020 7:46 pm ET

Leave me out of this
(Said the guy who hung around
and did magic tricks.)

Haiku #67791, by Sister Christian of Motoring
August 5, 2020 1:51 pm ET

Trumpers gonna Trump.
Marxist queers will Marxist queer.
But Christ is still Lord.

Haiku #67790, by Big Eva of the Celestial Machinery
August 5, 2020 9:51 am ET

It is what it is.
What a callous piece of shit
Hashtag, Trump virus

Haiku #67789, by Anonymous Poet
August 5, 2020 7:11 am ET

Horses on the track
Woke up with my ass on fire
Horses on the track

Haiku #67788, by Motivated by Oats of Undisclosed
August 4, 2020 2:08 pm ET

17 feet tall
Makes it kind of difficult
For us to bang, eh?

Haiku #67787, by Ivana Blowyathough of Standing near spaceship, Canada
August 4, 2020 1:59 pm ET

the world has gone mad
but i was already there
before the tourists

Haiku #67786, by ash
August 4, 2020 9:33 am ET

Keep talking, bitches.
Your days are known and numbered.
Haiku will get you.

Haiku #67785, by Black Ops of Haiku
August 3, 2020 8:40 pm ET

Horrid hoarfrost hoards.
Horrible horny whoring
horrendous hoar horns.

Haiku #67784, by DW of How do I know I'm not a robot?
August 3, 2020 8:14 pm ET

You mean Scott Spicer?
He was the Easter Bunny
He died for your sins

Haiku #67783, by Henrietta (cluck) of Ovum Office
August 3, 2020 8:14 pm ET

Bugs Bunny's my mom.
I squirmed out of his anus
and from the TV.

Living room carpet
with its awful ugly stain.
I jump from the floor.

And into your face.
Inserted in your eyeball.
Why are you so dead?

Haiku #67782, by DW of I want an Easter egg! I want an Easter egg! I want an Easter egg!
August 3, 2020 8:04 pm ET

Vaseline is cheap
And I got lots of
Spare time on my hands

Haiku #67781, by Pete Roleum of Under old willow
August 3, 2020 1:20 pm ET

so in god we trust
but who is god? Well its me
yeah thats right fuck you

Haiku #67780, by Line of lines
August 3, 2020 2:02 am ET

The Grand Poohbah
Grabbing Mrs. Cunningham
Like a bowling ball

Haiku #67779, by All Seeing Eye of Milwaukee
August 3, 2020 12:57 am ET

Just think happy thoughts
Dream of a tasty sandwich
Tom Bosley's penis

Haiku #67778, by Never gonna give you up of Never gonna let you down
August 3, 2020 12:00 am ET

more and more covid
stay calm, breathe in and breathe out
but don't breathe virus

Haiku #67777, by ash
August 2, 2020 9:06 am ET

That MC5 rock
From Detroit Motor City
Was lame-ass pansy

Haiku #67776, by Kick Out The Germs of Ramalama Fa Fa Fa
August 1, 2020 10:06 pm ET

Everybody up
Bad Haiku kick out the jams
You are the star now

Haiku #67775, by Polite Lizard of Thetis Lake
August 1, 2020 8:36 pm ET

Dandelion Greens
A study in gluttony
Open House : my pants

Haiku #67774, by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
August 1, 2020 8:12 pm ET

The barking spider
of the golden electroplate
Oomph Loompa Guild

Haiku #67773, by Gut Feeling of It's an outsie.....really
August 1, 2020 8:01 pm ET

Darth himself is smeared
All over the floor and wall:
our haiku shithouse.

Haiku #67772, by Orality of Fecality of Reality
August 1, 2020 4:49 pm ET

A bright flowing stream,
Quiet grove of blissful shade:
All this means nothing...

Haiku #67771, by Sources of Denial
August 1, 2020 4:45 pm ET

The floor is lava
Dude, fecal incontinence
is the volcano

Haiku #67770, by Greg, Peter and Bobby of Brady Bunch residence
August 1, 2020 2:37 pm ET

trust me, i've felt like
ending my existence cause
i didn't want to clean

the floor anymore.

Haiku #67769, by vhs
August 1, 2020 2:02 pm ET

Viral hysteria . . .
Globalist agenda fail:
because of haiku.

Haiku #67768, by George Soros' Mother-in-law of Gehenna
August 1, 2020 10:19 am ET