Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 339 Days and 72781 Haikus later...

I am not your wife
But last time I sucked a cock
I swallowed his soul
Haiku # 67834, August 15, 2020 7:01 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
If you are my wife,
then show me your oral skills.
I don't mean speaking.

I'm no easy buy.
If you want me, prove your worth.
You are not worth it.
Haiku # 67833, August 15, 2020 9:56 am ET
by Or if you can beat me in a fart contest. of That would be impressive.
That old white magic:
That Trump Derangement Syndrome
(strange and liberal hate)
Haiku # 67832, August 14, 2020 1:37 pm ET
by Open-Minded Compassion of Progressive Hate
You are Darth's sad wife.
We are ALL Darth's poor, sad wife.
From now on: that's us.
Haiku # 67831, August 14, 2020 10:33 am ET
by Ich Bin Ein Berliner of Berlin
Barbara Bush's sore twat
Dank thin sliced tortoise meat flaps
A man's gotta eat
Haiku # 67829, August 13, 2020 6:44 pm ET
by Rob Graves of Undisclosed
Eating a tortoise
will not make you live longer.
That's unfortunate.

Eat LIKE a tortoise --
veggies, fruits, & stuff like that --
and then you just might.

But then you'll be gay.
For you to be a real man
you must eat some meat.

Hearts of enemies.
Fresh crocodile testes.
Grilled platypus brains.
Haiku # 67828, August 13, 2020 6:27 pm ET
by Trust me, I know!
Craving venison.
Or maybe some fresh bison.
Don't even cook it.
Haiku # 67827, August 13, 2020 5:47 pm ET
by Wolf boy bloody chin. of That time of the month.
You ever wake up
and think, I'll destroy my kids'
lives today? She did.
Haiku # 67826, August 13, 2020 5:38 pm ET
by Whores should not be moms. of Moms should not be whores.
All those that eat pork
have widened piggy noses
and smell like pigs too.

And big fat rednecks
eat mountains of beef products.
You are what you eat.

So eat some pussy
and you'll become a poet.
I'm right, Chewy Chew!

Filthy Goddamn whores.
Every Goddamn one of them.
Just like DaVinci.

Attention seekers.
"Repent TikTok-Man!" said the
Joker's Harlequin.
Haiku # 67825, August 13, 2020 5:25 pm ET
by Allahu Akbar! Oy vay already! of hmmm... I've never tried wild boar. Maybe it's okay.
it isn't all bad.
there's macaroni and cheese
and...that's all i got
Haiku # 67824, August 13, 2020 4:04 pm ET
by scotch of it's good though
Loaded 22
Dildo over the barrel
You talking to me?
Haiku # 67823, August 13, 2020 2:49 pm ET
by Sausage dink of Undisclosed
The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
Haiku # 67822, August 13, 2020 2:33 pm ET
by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
The other white meat
Yeah, go ask Willy Pickton
Pig complicity
Haiku # 67821, August 13, 2020 2:33 pm ET
by Kevin Bacon of Clovenhoofloose
They are such fat pigs.
They don't even look human.
Overdosed on pork.
Haiku # 67819, August 13, 2020 6:04 am ET
by DW of Divorce attorney's office.
Just one more tonight:
One more prolonged death-spasm.
Terminal haiku.
Haiku # 67818, August 12, 2020 10:45 pm ET
by Flatlined Line of Lines
Dirty fingernails
Eureka! More syllables
Rectal spelunking
Haiku # 67817, August 12, 2020 8:44 pm ET
by Ben A. Miner of Hollywood/Redwood
Scratch where it itches.
Mine the poetic riches.
Top THIS one, bitches. . . .
Haiku # 67816, August 12, 2020 7:15 pm ET
by Line of Lines
shackled to my desk
forced to endure this cruel fate:
my boss's humming
Haiku # 67815, August 12, 2020 1:29 pm ET
by Office Guy of Close to Suicide
Hey, pull my finger
Try aromatherapy
The smell of a fart
Haiku # 67814, August 12, 2020 8:25 am ET
by Fart Knower of Undisclosed
100 pushups.
And I mean without stopping.
Come on you pussies!
Haiku # 67813, August 11, 2020 10:55 pm ET
by DW of Drill Sergeant Wannabe
Christopher Walken.
That's my choice for president.
Fuck those other guys.
Haiku # 67812, August 11, 2020 10:52 pm ET
by Hidden watches
If you see my ex,
please try to give her covid.
Maybe ebola.
Haiku # 67811, August 11, 2020 10:44 pm ET
by DW
Alligator gar
This fishing expedition
made me shit my pants
Haiku # 67810, August 11, 2020 10:27 pm ET
by Walkin Funny of Undisclosed
OH you are so vile.
You have just ruined it all.
Please leave me alone.
Haiku # 67809, August 11, 2020 9:46 pm ET
by Distraught Female of Sobbing Hysterically in Haiku
Take three Hail Marys
And call me in the morning
He spoke, pulling out
Haiku # 67808, August 11, 2020 8:20 pm ET
by Noticer of Details of Rectory parking lot
Under old willow
I have heard the wind whisper
"FREE CUNNILINGUS!"
Haiku # 67807, August 11, 2020 5:06 pm ET
by Starkitten
first I tried Tinder
no luck. next on to Grindr-
my asshole is sore
Haiku # 67806, August 11, 2020 8:41 am ET
by HoreToCulture of Brown Town
Sodomized by Freud.
He was psycho analized.
For five hundred bucks.

There are no refunds.
Best see a proctologist.
Your guts will fall out.
Haiku # 67805, August 11, 2020 1:11 am ET
by Roman happiness penis.
Recurring visions.
The WalMart was abandoned.
Completely ransacked.

I don't know the cause.
Virus, war, or disaster.
Maybe it was you.
Haiku # 67804, August 11, 2020 1:00 am ET
by Or maybe huge titties. of Probably Russian titties.
The whore has huge tits.
And she's not wearing a bra.
Coffee mug nipples.
Haiku # 67803, August 11, 2020 12:54 am ET
by Get a handle, old man.
My God, what a blast.
Bombs are so entertaining.
Moreso when folks die.
Haiku # 67802, August 11, 2020 12:50 am ET
by That was several hundred times more powerful than the OKC bomb. Amazing really.
Fuck murder hornets!
I mean that literally
....find them quite sexy
Haiku # 67801, August 10, 2020 11:33 pm ET
by Phil Lesh.....Kind of like a "furry," but with insects
I won't analyze.
I just want to go shopping.
Too many theories.
Haiku # 67800, August 9, 2020 2:28 pm ET
by Typical Brainwashed Zombie of Consumer Circus
set us up the bomb
in a port in lebanon
suddenly it's gone
Haiku # 67799, August 8, 2020 9:50 pm ET
by ash of somewhere far away
American fool
We are will shortly crush you.
Ha ha. Funny jokes.
Haiku # 67798, August 8, 2020 1:52 pm ET
by Goose-stepping Chinaman with AK-47 and Rocket Launcher of Xi Jin Ping Pong Paddle
There is no covid.
Trump made it all up.
Winnie the Pooh's cock.

Figuratively.
I mean the Chinese Chairman.
What the fuck's his name?
Haiku # 67797, August 7, 2020 6:28 am ET
by Mousy Dung
You, paddling my ass
Always in that meet porn store
Sticking out your pud.
Haiku # 67796, August 7, 2020 6:04 am ET
by that will be $15.
You, peddling your ass
Always on that street corner
Sticking out your poems
Haiku # 67795, August 7, 2020 2:23 am ET
by Grossed out of In the vicinity
You should stop reading.
Walk the streets in search of life.
Never return home.
Haiku # 67794, August 5, 2020 9:10 pm ET
by High school conselor.
Come and partake of
the LSD communion
acetylene tank.

Become a member.
The First Church of Future Christ.
Meth off a whore's tits.
Haiku # 67793, August 5, 2020 7:53 pm ET
by Free coffee and donuts too! of Temple whore revenue. Nuns get none, sums get some.
If Jesus Christ died
for the sins I commited,
then he got off light.

Next time he comes here
we'll use drugs and blow torches.
Welding tank necklace.
Haiku # 67792, August 5, 2020 7:46 pm ET
by dw
Leave me out of this
(Said the guy who hung around
and did magic tricks.)
Haiku # 67791, August 5, 2020 1:51 pm ET
by Sister Christian of Motoring
Trumpers gonna Trump.
Marxist queers will Marxist queer.
But Christ is still Lord.
Haiku # 67790, August 5, 2020 9:51 am ET
by Big Eva of the Celestial Machinery
It is what it is.
What a callous piece of shit
Hashtag, Trump virus
Haiku # 67789, August 5, 2020 7:11 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Horses on the track
Woke up with my ass on fire
Horses on the track
Haiku # 67788, August 4, 2020 2:08 pm ET
by Motivated by Oats of Undisclosed
17 feet tall
Makes it kind of difficult
For us to bang, eh?
Haiku # 67787, August 4, 2020 1:59 pm ET
by Ivana Blowyathough of Standing near spaceship, Canada
the world has gone mad
but i was already there
before the tourists
Haiku # 67786, August 4, 2020 9:33 am ET
by ash
Keep talking, bitches.
Your days are known and numbered.
Haiku will get you.
Haiku # 67785, August 3, 2020 8:40 pm ET
by Black Ops of Haiku
Horrid hoarfrost hoards.
Horrible horny whoring
horrendous hoar horns.
Haiku # 67784, August 3, 2020 8:14 pm ET
by DW of How do I know I'm not a robot?
You mean Scott Spicer?
He was the Easter Bunny
He died for your sins
Haiku # 67783, August 3, 2020 8:14 pm ET
by Henrietta (cluck) of Ovum Office
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