BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
23 Years
344 Days
and
68441 Haikus
later...
Attention: Poets!
Was I just reading James Joyce?
Or was that Joyce James
Haiku #60961, by Ellen Jamesian of Blow Job
November 15, 2018 4:18 pm ET

Don't listen to her
My sister has been on my street since I got a sister to the sister who was a sister sister who has a sister who is my woman woman I have a sister who is my woman woman I have a sister who is my woman woman I have a lot of work on the way she is and I have a lot to do and I am a sister sister and I have been able for the best way she said that I have a lot to say
Haiku #60960, by Her sister
November 15, 2018 12:05 am ET

My sister was on her way she was like a woman and I am a woman who has a lot to say to the people that I have been told not yet I have to say I have been the same as a person and I'm a good person to say that the person I was a person to say I have a lot to do and not do anything for a person that is a woman who is not the woman that person who has a lot to do is just not a person that is a person and I have to be the woman that has a lot of things to say about her
Haiku #60959, by Person of With a lot to say
November 14, 2018 11:54 pm ET

I don't have much to
do with this place anymore
I feel like a lot

of what I have done
on line has brought a side of
myself out that makes

me want to delete the whole thing
Haiku #60958, by vhs
November 14, 2018 10:04 pm ET

Politics - nothing
to do with being polite,
but a parasite.

Poly, Greek for many.
Ticks, blood sucking parasites.
Therefore politics.
Haiku #60957, by df
November 14, 2018 5:54 pm ET

Swoosh mush mush mush
Swoosh swoosh mush mush flush
Just wiping my tush
Haiku #60956, by Flush of In no rush
November 14, 2018 3:24 pm ET

Tremendous, YUGE YUGE
TREMENDOUS TREMENDOUS YUGE
TREMENDOUS ASSHOLE
Haiku #60955, by Trump of Mirror
November 14, 2018 12:38 pm ET

Wipe out deficit.
Trump raped hard on Pay-Per-View.
Bigly yuge profits.

You must admit it.
Who WOULDN'T pay to see THAT!
Well, besides Sanders.
Haiku #60954, by df
November 14, 2018 7:36 am ET

You say Trump is bad.
He's sure got a purty mouth.
Orange Deliverance.
Haiku #60953, by df of Funny how a billionaire can bring out the hillbilly in people.
November 14, 2018 7:28 am ET

Debunking theories
Mosquitoes aren't attractive
Criminals walk free
Haiku #60952, by Kent Dorfman of On Double Secret Probation
November 14, 2018 5:01 am ET

Bad haiku is bad
Very, very bad like Trump
Everyone agrees
Haiku #60951, by Kent Dorfman of On Double Secret Probation
November 14, 2018 4:38 am ET

Concise poetry.
Perceived as being profound.
You give it meaning.
Haiku #60950, by the hair of the dog
November 14, 2018 4:33 am ET

Cryzosza mi fucq
Cognoscenti ni senza
Fazool na prexii
Haiku #60949, by Cegno
November 14, 2018 12:37 am ET

Do vegetables poop?
I've never had a garden
Do they poop out soil?
Haiku #60948, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 10:52 pm ET

All poetry smells
Curried turds and curdled words
Greasy gopher farts
Haiku #60947, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 8:21 pm ET

Cracking pygmies open
Like Harry and David nuts
Get at the sweet meat
Haiku #60946, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 8:15 pm ET

Reamed garden gnome ass
Napoleon's slippery dick
Caught them in the act!

That upset stomach
Swallowed too much plastic cum
Met his Waterglue
Haiku #60945, by Historian
November 13, 2018 8:14 pm ET

Dead poets smell bad.
And their poetry smells worse.
Ask Robin Williams.
Haiku #60944, by df
November 13, 2018 7:26 pm ET

Wet thumb to the wind
Disgruntled seabirds. Bent mast.
Who spiked the brownies?
Haiku #60943, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 5:36 pm ET

Gnomes, little people,
dwarves, midgets, runts, and pigmies.
Napoleon's kids.

For an emperor,
he was one whorin' mofo.
Sidious, take note!
Haiku #60942, by df
November 13, 2018 5:30 pm ET

Do not eat pussy.
You must devour that shit!
Make her feel consumed.
Haiku #60941, by df
November 13, 2018 5:24 pm ET

Poops of tomorrow.
Funkin' hairy hos. Pubic floss.
Preened from Allah's beard.
Haiku #60940, by df
November 13, 2018 5:23 pm ET

How would you describe
Garden gnomes' ejaculate?
Smelly superglue
Haiku #60939, by Person of In the know
November 13, 2018 4:35 pm ET

Soups of Yesteryear
Shrunken cheerios. Pussy hairs.
Gleaned from Ahab's beard
Haiku #60938, by Little Shaver
November 13, 2018 4:30 pm ET

Ocean brine freezes.
It clings to the old man's beard.
A familiar friend.
Haiku #60937, by the hair of the dog
November 13, 2018 4:15 pm ET

Grunting in the rain
Wiping with the biggest leaves
Damp. dank. A delight
Haiku #60936, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 2:52 pm ET

No one ever sees
So I have set up brocadcast
Next bowel movement
Haiku #60935, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 2:49 pm ET

When I see name Darth
I know what it will smell like.
I don't bother read
Haiku #60934, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 7:57 am ET

I knew a queer kid.
He held a branch to his groin
and petted a tree.

He liked to be punched.
And always piss off bullies.
Jizzed his pants when beat.

He didn't live long.
Got killed by a homeless dude.
The best thing for him.

I laughed when I heard.
I know that sounds really bad.
But you just don't know.
Haiku #60933, by df
November 13, 2018 7:49 am ET

When midgets dress up
and look just like garden gnomes
with crotchless panties.
Haiku #60932, by df
November 13, 2018 7:40 am ET

The doc was surprised.
I had Dutch Elm in my ass.
How did that happen?!
Haiku #60931, by df
November 13, 2018 7:38 am ET

Listen, Elm tree here
I talk all day and all night
I tell dirty jokes

Don
Haiku #60930, by Elm tree
November 13, 2018 4:01 am ET

Trees know how to speak.
They talk about the weather.
So no one listens.
Haiku #60929, by the hair of the dog
November 13, 2018 3:47 am ET

You smoking spider plants again
Haiku #60928, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 1:31 am ET

You
Haiku #60927, by Small questions
November 13, 2018 1:30 am ET

Which do you prefer
The real deal or garden gnomes?
Little Superstar!
Haiku #60926, by He
November 13, 2018 1:27 am ET

Dwarves always do that.
Snow White's honeymoon was strange.
Well, back then it was.

Nowadays not so.
Post-wedding midget orgies.
Commonplace these days.
Haiku #60925, by df
November 13, 2018 1:14 am ET

It's not that simple
I have kept the bugs away
With a magic spell

It's temporary
I adjusted your fart smell
This keeps them at bay

Unfortunately
You now attract horny dwarves
They'll climb up your schlong!!
Haiku #60924, by You know who
November 12, 2018 10:07 pm ET

This is crazy but
since my brain bleeding it seems
mosquitoes won't bite.

Like maybe my blood
is clotting more than normal
and they don't want it.

I know, it's bizarre.
But I swear to you it's true.
And I hate them more.

Their death brings me joy.
If only they were sentient.
I could hear their screams.
Haiku #60923, by df
November 12, 2018 9:41 pm ET

Penes paninis.
Dolphin cock on toasted rye.
Why? Because we can.
Haiku #60922, by df. The life goal of of all Asians is to eat at least once every animal on this planet.
November 12, 2018 9:27 pm ET

Human Tortoise Man
Live in your own dugout ass
It's one stop shopping

And might I add here
As I finished my Haiku
My dog cut a fart

He was climbing up
To sit with me on the chair
That's when he let wind
Haiku #60921, by Me of Keeping you in the loop
November 12, 2018 7:53 pm ET

Super volcano.
Yellowstone apocalypse.
God I love YouTube!
Haiku #60920, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 12, 2018 7:33 pm ET

The ass smell of dog
is indeed the dog's perfume.
Channel #5.

Tortoises eat poop.
But I have no idea why.
Protein or microbes.

Maybe I'll try it.
Could be why they live so long.
And what a great life!

Eating grass and poop.
Living in a dug out hole.
Yeah, I could do that.
Haiku #60919, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 12, 2018 7:29 pm ET

Standard Poodle dog
Manicured nails. French perfume
Still got smelly ass
Haiku #60918, by Master of Pet Salon
November 12, 2018 5:56 pm ET

Bears up on the roof!
Shazam! Shazam! Wankwankwank!!
Under arm fart sound
Haiku #60917, by Goofus
November 12, 2018 5:53 pm ET

The smell of your yawn
Is of Werther's and dead fish
Stop eating out Gran
Haiku #60916, by Commas are funny
November 12, 2018 2:35 pm ET

'Twas a perfect storm
Mark Wahlberg jizzed off the deck
Battened the hatches
Haiku #60915, by Mother Goose of Storytime
November 12, 2018 2:32 pm ET

Beezlebop bop bop
Ram a lam a ding dong goo
YABBA DABBA DOO!!
Haiku #60914, by Anonymous Poet
November 12, 2018 2:29 pm ET

Buddha ran away
I noticed for the first time
Buddah's big red ass
Haiku #60913, by Anonymous Poet
November 12, 2018 2:27 pm ET

They were up Shit's Creek
Fishing for compliments
Hey, Awesome Haiku!
Haiku #60912, by Anonymous Poet
November 12, 2018 2:25 pm ET