You smoking spider plants again

You

Which do you prefer
The real deal or garden gnomes?
Little Superstar!

Dwarves always do that.
Snow White's honeymoon was strange.
Well, back then it was.

Nowadays not so.
Post-wedding midget orgies.
Commonplace these days.

It's not that simple
I have kept the bugs away
With a magic spell

It's temporary
I adjusted your fart smell
This keeps them at bay

Unfortunately
You now attract horny dwarves
They'll climb up your schlong!!

This is crazy but
since my brain bleeding it seems
mosquitoes won't bite.

Like maybe my blood
is clotting more than normal
and they don't want it.

I know, it's bizarre.
But I swear to you it's true.
And I hate them more.

Their death brings me joy.
If only they were sentient.
I could hear their screams.

Penes paninis.
Dolphin cock on toasted rye.
Why? Because we can.

Human Tortoise Man
Live in your own dugout ass
It's one stop shopping

And might I add here
As I finished my Haiku
My dog cut a fart

He was climbing up
To sit with me on the chair
That's when he let wind

Super volcano.
Yellowstone apocalypse.
God I love YouTube!

The ass smell of dog
is indeed the dog's perfume.
Channel #5.

Tortoises eat poop.
But I have no idea why.
Protein or microbes.

Maybe I'll try it.
Could be why they live so long.
And what a great life!

Eating grass and poop.
Living in a dug out hole.
Yeah, I could do that.

Standard Poodle dog
Manicured nails. French perfume
Still got smelly ass

Bears up on the roof!
Shazam! Shazam! Wankwankwank!!
Under arm fart sound

The smell of your yawn
Is of Werther's and dead fish
Stop eating out Gran

'Twas a perfect storm
Mark Wahlberg jizzed off the deck
Battened the hatches

Beezlebop bop bop
Ram a lam a ding dong goo
YABBA DABBA DOO!!

Buddha ran away
I noticed for the first time
Buddah's big red ass

They were up Shit's Creek
Fishing for compliments
Hey, Awesome Haiku!

What were those men like,
the fishermen in the storm?
Likely not poets!

As the baby cries
I think of Buddhist wisdom.
Buddha ran away.

Yawn and open wide.
My poop flies into your mouth.
You want flies with that?

Your poop is boring.
Your haiku is boring too.
Got me yawning now.

Go watch Doodie Man.
I think it's up your alley.
Somersaults and poop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOqn2Ms61Y8

Go watch Doodie Man.
I think it's up your alley.
Somersaults and poop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOqn2Ms61Y8

Kangaroo Penis
Australian delicacy
Serve in hot dog bun

Kidnapped by perverts
Hell of a situation
Send help, please...and lube

A clear view of you
Cartwheelcartwheelcartwheel fart
Shit my pants again

Where are the poets?
They're kidnapped by aliens!
Anal probes commence!

A gay kangaroo
can bound across a flat stretch
of ground with each jump

carrying the roo
11 m from the
jump point. Fabulous!

If the kangaroo
leaves the ground at a 18
degree angle, what

is its takeoff speed?
What's its horizontal speed?
How gay is the roo?

a hundred years on
and the war to end all wars
still wasn't the one

Mall pet store monkey
Pleasing organ melodies

I wouldn

I's go meet him thar.
Mofo better have money.
Else I rob his kicks!

John-boy's holy mole
Judges your vile unbelief.
Walton mountain rules.

Just saw God drive by
Headed to the keg party
Should I confront him?

We a go dub it
And then we a go rock it.
Fock dem Babylon!

Watch what you're saying!
God came to me in a dream.
He stole my half ounce.

Some damn good hydro!
So if anyone sees God,
let me know asap.

God is a sad joke
Played upon stupid people
They just don't get it

Twice in the past week
Opened up my door. Surprise
Pair of nude mormons

Please let me pull it
I am not a nurse but, hey
I am a big guy

Nude acrobatics.
X-Hamster X-men powers.
Genital lawn darts.

A blindfold mounting
from thirty feet up in the air.
All nine inches in.

Brazilian fart girls
blow down card house from ten feet.
A clean hurricane!

They don't shit themselves.
You should learn sphincter control.
You'd save on laundry.

Grandpa

Grandad

It was a close shave
You have never seen my cat
With a growth of beard

Grandad

Grandad

Back flip Back flip fart
Back flip Back flip fart skid mark
Back flip shit my pants

JimBob Walton

JimBob Walton

No one thinks like that.
At least I don't think they do.
Likely a good thing.

I think your work is
a lot like Leonard Cohens
novel attemps but...