BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
19 Days
and
68965 Haikus
later...
This is crazy but
since my brain bleeding it seems
mosquitoes won't bite.

Like maybe my blood
is clotting more than normal
and they don't want it.

I know, it's bizarre.
But I swear to you it's true.
And I hate them more.

Their death brings me joy.
If only they were sentient.
I could hear their screams.
Haiku #60923, by df
November 12, 2018 9:41 pm ET

Penes paninis.
Dolphin cock on toasted rye.
Why? Because we can.
Haiku #60922, by df. The life goal of of all Asians is to eat at least once every animal on this planet.
November 12, 2018 9:27 pm ET

Human Tortoise Man
Live in your own dugout ass
It's one stop shopping

And might I add here
As I finished my Haiku
My dog cut a fart

He was climbing up
To sit with me on the chair
That's when he let wind
Haiku #60921, by Me of Keeping you in the loop
November 12, 2018 7:53 pm ET

Super volcano.
Yellowstone apocalypse.
God I love YouTube!
Haiku #60920, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 12, 2018 7:33 pm ET

The ass smell of dog
is indeed the dog's perfume.
Channel #5.

Tortoises eat poop.
But I have no idea why.
Protein or microbes.

Maybe I'll try it.
Could be why they live so long.
And what a great life!

Eating grass and poop.
Living in a dug out hole.
Yeah, I could do that.
Haiku #60919, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 12, 2018 7:29 pm ET

Standard Poodle dog
Manicured nails. French perfume
Still got smelly ass
Haiku #60918, by Master of Pet Salon
November 12, 2018 5:56 pm ET

Bears up on the roof!
Shazam! Shazam! Wankwankwank!!
Under arm fart sound
Haiku #60917, by Goofus
November 12, 2018 5:53 pm ET

The smell of your yawn
Is of Werther's and dead fish
Stop eating out Gran
Haiku #60916, by Commas are funny
November 12, 2018 2:35 pm ET

'Twas a perfect storm
Mark Wahlberg jizzed off the deck
Battened the hatches
Haiku #60915, by Mother Goose of Storytime
November 12, 2018 2:32 pm ET

Beezlebop bop bop
Ram a lam a ding dong goo
YABBA DABBA DOO!!
Haiku #60914, by Anonymous Poet
November 12, 2018 2:29 pm ET

Buddha ran away
I noticed for the first time
Buddah's big red ass
Haiku #60913, by Anonymous Poet
November 12, 2018 2:27 pm ET

They were up Shit's Creek
Fishing for compliments
Hey, Awesome Haiku!
Haiku #60912, by Anonymous Poet
November 12, 2018 2:25 pm ET

What were those men like,
the fishermen in the storm?
Likely not poets!
Haiku #60911, by df
November 12, 2018 7:39 am ET

As the baby cries
I think of Buddhist wisdom.
Buddha ran away.
Haiku #60910, by df
November 12, 2018 7:35 am ET

Yawn and open wide.
My poop flies into your mouth.
You want flies with that?
Haiku #60909, by df
November 12, 2018 7:30 am ET

Your poop is boring.
Your haiku is boring too.
Got me yawning now.
Haiku #60908, by Anonymous Poet
November 12, 2018 5:49 am ET

Go watch Doodie Man.
I think it's up your alley.
Somersaults and poop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOqn2Ms61Y8
Haiku #60907, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 12, 2018 2:03 am ET

Go watch Doodie Man.
I think it's up your alley.
Somersaults and poop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOqn2Ms61Y8
Haiku #60906, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 12, 2018 2:02 am ET

Kangaroo Penis
Australian delicacy
Serve in hot dog bun
Haiku #60905, by Mr. Tube Steak
November 12, 2018 12:07 am ET

Kidnapped by perverts
Hell of a situation
Send help, please...and lube
Haiku #60904, by Anonymous Poet
November 11, 2018 8:51 pm ET

A clear view of you
Cartwheelcartwheelcartwheel fart
Shit my pants again
Haiku #60903, by Craprobatic of Cartwheeling to the latrine (might as well)
November 11, 2018 8:48 pm ET

Where are the poets?
They're kidnapped by aliens!
Anal probes commence!
Haiku #60902, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 11, 2018 8:32 pm ET

A gay kangaroo
can bound across a flat stretch
of ground with each jump

carrying the roo
11 m from the
jump point. Fabulous!

If the kangaroo
leaves the ground at a 18
degree angle, what

is its takeoff speed?
What's its horizontal speed?
How gay is the roo?
Haiku #60901, by Darth Figpucker of Fabulous Physics!
November 11, 2018 10:25 am ET

a hundred years on
and the war to end all wars
still wasn't the one
Haiku #60900, by ash
November 11, 2018 4:34 am ET

Mall pet store monkey
Pleasing organ melodies
Haiku #60899, by Anonymous Poet
November 10, 2018 11:23 pm ET

I wouldn
Haiku #60898, by Anonymous Poet
November 10, 2018 11:19 pm ET

I's go meet him thar.
Mofo better have money.
Else I rob his kicks!
Haiku #60897, by df
November 10, 2018 7:58 pm ET

John-boy's holy mole
Judges your vile unbelief.
Walton mountain rules.
Haiku #60896, by Anonymous Poet
November 10, 2018 7:56 pm ET

Just saw God drive by
Headed to the keg party
Should I confront him?
Haiku #60895, by John Boy Walton of Cheek
November 10, 2018 7:15 pm ET

We a go dub it
And then we a go rock it.
Fock dem Babylon!
Haiku #60894, by Babylonian Unbelief
November 10, 2018 6:04 pm ET

Watch what you're saying!
God came to me in a dream.
He stole my half ounce.

Some damn good hydro!
So if anyone sees God,
let me know asap.
Haiku #60893, by df
November 10, 2018 4:09 pm ET

God is a sad joke
Played upon stupid people
They just don't get it
Haiku #60892, by Anonymous Poet
November 10, 2018 11:33 am ET

Twice in the past week
Opened up my door. Surprise
Pair of nude mormons
Haiku #60891, by Elder sphincter and elder barry
November 10, 2018 7:29 am ET

Please let me pull it
I am not a nurse but, hey
I am a big guy
Haiku #60890, by Nurse
November 10, 2018 7:25 am ET

Nude acrobatics.
X-Hamster X-men powers.
Genital lawn darts.

A blindfold mounting
from thirty feet up in the air.
All nine inches in.

Brazilian fart girls
blow down card house from ten feet.
A clean hurricane!

They don't shit themselves.
You should learn sphincter control.
You'd save on laundry.
Haiku #60889, by df
November 10, 2018 3:04 am ET

Grandpa
Haiku #60888, by Really
November 10, 2018 2:11 am ET

Grandad
Haiku #60887, by Sexy
November 10, 2018 2:03 am ET

It was a close shave
You have never seen my cat
With a growth of beard
Haiku #60886, by Unrecognizable of Barber
November 10, 2018 2:01 am ET

Grandad
Haiku #60885, by Sexy Bitch Grandma of Commode
November 10, 2018 1:58 am ET

Grandad
Haiku #60884, by Sexy Bitch Grandma of Commode
November 10, 2018 1:58 am ET

Back flip Back flip fart
Back flip Back flip fart skid mark
Back flip shit my pants
Haiku #60883, by Perfect 10
November 10, 2018 1:53 am ET

JimBob Walton
Haiku #60882, by John Boy Walton of Walton
November 10, 2018 12:07 am ET

JimBob Walton
Haiku #60881, by John Boy Walton of Walton
November 10, 2018 12:06 am ET

No one thinks like that.
At least I don't think they do.
Likely a good thing.
Haiku #60880, by df
November 9, 2018 11:46 pm ET

I think your work is
a lot like Leonard Cohens
novel attemps but...
Haiku #60879, by vhs of in an orange t-shirt
November 9, 2018 8:23 pm ET

I don't think like this
just my hardware is just needing
replacement here
Haiku #60878, by vhs of insert joke here
November 9, 2018 6:46 pm ET

It's not time for God.
God exists outside of time.
It time to party!
Haiku #60877, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 9, 2018 6:41 pm ET

Shamone!
Haiku #60876, by Michael Jackson
November 9, 2018 5:43 pm ET

Lernu Esperanton
Peti Cunnilingus
Cie en la mondo
Haiku #60875, by Speaking in Tongues
November 9, 2018 5:42 pm ET

'Cause it's been a while
I just tackled the mailman
Dry humped his left leg
Haiku #60874, by Guess who of Front yard
November 9, 2018 5:37 pm ET