Bashō says something unhelpful
Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
29 Years, 58 Days and 78013 Haiku later...
Kangaroo Penis
Australian delicacy
Serve in hot dog bun
Haiku # 60905 November 12, 2018 12:07 am ET
by Mr. Tube Steak
Kidnapped by perverts
Hell of a situation
Send help, please...and lube
Haiku # 60904 November 11, 2018 8:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
A clear view of you
Cartwheelcartwheelcartwheel fart
Shit my pants again
Haiku # 60903 November 11, 2018 8:48 pm ET
by Craprobatic of Cartwheeling to the latrine (might as well)
Where are the poets?
They're kidnapped by aliens!
Anal probes commence!
Haiku # 60902 November 11, 2018 8:32 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A gay kangaroo
can bound across a flat stretch
of ground with each jump

carrying the roo
11 m from the
jump point. Fabulous!

If the kangaroo
leaves the ground at a 18
degree angle, what

is its takeoff speed?
What's its horizontal speed?
How gay is the roo?
Haiku # 60901 November 11, 2018 10:25 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Fabulous Physics!
a hundred years on
and the war to end all wars
still wasn't the one
Haiku # 60900 November 11, 2018 4:34 am ET
by ash
Mall pet store monkey
Pleasing organ melodies
Haiku # 60899 November 10, 2018 11:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I wouldn
Haiku # 60898 November 10, 2018 11:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I's go meet him thar.
Mofo better have money.
Else I rob his kicks!
Haiku # 60897 November 10, 2018 7:58 pm ET
by df
John-boy's holy mole
Judges your vile unbelief.
Walton mountain rules.
Haiku # 60896 November 10, 2018 7:56 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just saw God drive by
Headed to the keg party
Should I confront him?
Haiku # 60895 November 10, 2018 7:15 pm ET
by John Boy Walton of Cheek
We a go dub it
And then we a go rock it.
Fock dem Babylon!
Haiku # 60894 November 10, 2018 6:04 pm ET
by Babylonian Unbelief
Watch what you're saying!
God came to me in a dream.
He stole my half ounce.

Some damn good hydro!
So if anyone sees God,
let me know asap.
Haiku # 60893 November 10, 2018 4:09 pm ET
by df
God is a sad joke
Played upon stupid people
They just don't get it
Haiku # 60892 November 10, 2018 11:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Twice in the past week
Opened up my door. Surprise
Pair of nude mormons
Haiku # 60891 November 10, 2018 7:29 am ET
by Elder sphincter and elder barry
Please let me pull it
I am not a nurse but, hey
I am a big guy
Haiku # 60890 November 10, 2018 7:25 am ET
by Nurse
Nude acrobatics.
X-Hamster X-men powers.
Genital lawn darts.

A blindfold mounting
from thirty feet up in the air.
All nine inches in.

Brazilian fart girls
blow down card house from ten feet.
A clean hurricane!

They don't shit themselves.
You should learn sphincter control.
You'd save on laundry.
Haiku # 60889 November 10, 2018 3:04 am ET
by df
Grandpa
Haiku # 60888 November 10, 2018 2:11 am ET
by Really
Grandad
Haiku # 60887 November 10, 2018 2:03 am ET
by Sexy
It was a close shave
You have never seen my cat
With a growth of beard
Haiku # 60886 November 10, 2018 2:01 am ET
by Unrecognizable of Barber
Grandad
Haiku # 60885 November 10, 2018 1:58 am ET
by Sexy Bitch Grandma of Commode
Grandad
Haiku # 60884 November 10, 2018 1:58 am ET
by Sexy Bitch Grandma of Commode
Back flip Back flip fart
Back flip Back flip fart skid mark
Back flip shit my pants
Haiku # 60883 November 10, 2018 1:53 am ET
by Perfect 10
JimBob Walton
Haiku # 60882 November 10, 2018 12:07 am ET
by John Boy Walton of Walton
JimBob Walton
Haiku # 60881 November 10, 2018 12:06 am ET
by John Boy Walton of Walton
No one thinks like that.
At least I don't think they do.
Likely a good thing.
Haiku # 60880 November 9, 2018 11:46 pm ET
by df
I think your work is
a lot like Leonard Cohens
novel attemps but...
Haiku # 60879 November 9, 2018 8:23 pm ET
by vhs of in an orange t-shirt
I don't think like this
just my hardware is just needing
replacement here
Haiku # 60878 November 9, 2018 6:46 pm ET
by vhs of insert joke here
It's not time for God.
God exists outside of time.
It time to party!
Haiku # 60877 November 9, 2018 6:41 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Shamone!
Haiku # 60876 November 9, 2018 5:43 pm ET
by Michael Jackson
Lernu Esperanton
Peti Cunnilingus
Cie en la mondo
Haiku # 60875 November 9, 2018 5:42 pm ET
by Speaking in Tongues
'Cause it's been a while
I just tackled the mailman
Dry humped his left leg
Haiku # 60874 November 9, 2018 5:37 pm ET
by Guess who of Front yard
Now it's time for GOD.
Fuck your putrefying souls.
Now it's time for GOD.
Haiku # 60873 November 9, 2018 2:24 pm ET
by Pedophiles Rule the World of Dead Souls and Global Media
Esperanto this:
shematoma y tomo.
Je dois tomar plus.
Haiku # 60872 November 9, 2018 2:19 pm ET
by Alcohol of Revelation
He hematoma
She go hematoma tu
Y yo si tomo
Haiku # 60871 November 9, 2018 9:17 am ET
by Theymatoma of Pronoun
Good one, Starkitten.
Made from Billy Yeast, indeed!
I'd prefer the beer.
Haiku # 60870 November 9, 2018 7:33 am ET
by df
Poet Vegemite
Made from William Butler Yea(s)t
Soylent Green Helmet
Haiku # 60869 November 9, 2018 5:59 am ET
by Starkitten of Librarian
Alex Trebek's cock
Throbulating. Enormous.
That's Entertainment
Haiku # 60868 November 9, 2018 5:46 am ET
by TV Viewer of Couch
In Flight turbulence
Just in the seat next to you
Watch a stranger wank

Gerard Depardieu
Will he pee in a bottle?
Yellow autograph
Haiku # 60867 November 9, 2018 3:37 am ET
by Sky watcher of Skyway
I'll fly from Asia.
On board hookers and dog stew.
Beats American.

Vegemite have mites.
Funny it's made from old yeast;
no veggies in it.

Personally though,
I'd rather try Soylent Green
made from old poets.

Perfect airline snack.
Crunchy Faux News reporters.
Antifa jerky.
Haiku # 60866 November 9, 2018 3:10 am ET
by df of Panda Queefs!
I've arranged it all
John Travolta's your pilot
Forget salt peter
Haiku # 60865 November 9, 2018 2:10 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
It's a long flight there
You may need some salt peter
To nix in flight wank
Haiku # 60864 November 9, 2018 2:03 am ET
by Waitress in the Sky
Vegemite tampons
Vegemite vampire tea bags
Vegemite vulva

Vegemite be nice
Vegemite be lots of fun
Vegemite get laid
Haiku # 60863 November 9, 2018 1:59 am ET
by Vegemite be me of Vegemite be over here
Wipe your ass with toast
Homemade Nutella. Frugal
Save up for hookers

Steve Irwin's old boot
Slowcooked with a dry dung rub
Tended by pygmies

Distended belly
Bring on the dessert, MOFO
Emu cum milkshake
Haiku # 60862 November 9, 2018 1:47 am ET
by Good info
Vegemite surf board
wax and afro sheen helmet
padding substitute.

Vegemite, sunscreen
and birth control blocks semen,
and will feed sea men.

It's from down under
the bottom of the barrel,
left over ale gunk.

Recycled for your
breakfast bread toast enhancement.
Or ball bearing lube.
Haiku # 60861 November 9, 2018 1:14 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Shrimp on the Bar-B
Rub vegemite on your balls
Surf with a boner
Haiku # 60860 November 9, 2018 12:01 am ET
by Travel Agent
I think it's time for me to illegally migrate to Australia and putter around with a metal detector looking for gold nuggets until the day I die. Head injuries, spiders, snakes, sharks, surfing, reef cut infections, crocodiles and kangaroo boxing. What more could you ask for. Oh, and drinking. Don't forget drinking.
Haiku # 60859 November 8, 2018 10:17 pm ET
by df
Antifa is good.
Facism is also good.
Kill all extremists.

I know, it's all wrong.
I'm an extreme moderate.
Seriously though.

Anything that will
decrease the population
has got to be good.

For the long haul, yeah.
I mean, yeah, it sucks, but, well...
there's no other choice.

Do the antifas
target nazis, kkk,
white supremacists?

Or just pussy-assed
faux news media puppets
and T-Rump lovers?
Haiku # 60858 November 8, 2018 10:09 pm ET
by df
tucker carlson says
hi and i say hi to tucker
posting him here
Haiku # 60857 November 8, 2018 9:09 pm ET
by vhs of fuck antifa
A bit off topic.
After my hematoma
mosquitoes won't bite.

It's completely weird.
Like they know something is wrong.
They don't like blood clots?

I know, it's crazy.
If we mimic blot clot scent,
skeeter repellent?
Haiku # 60856 November 8, 2018 6:53 pm ET
by DARTH CAPITALIST FIGPUCKER
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