Bad Haiku
Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years, 115 Days and 70231 Haikus later...

Super volcano.
Yellowstone apocalypse.
God I love YouTube!
Haiku # 60920, November 12, 2018 7:33 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
The ass smell of dog
is indeed the dog's perfume.
Channel #5.

Tortoises eat poop.
But I have no idea why.
Protein or microbes.

Maybe I'll try it.
Could be why they live so long.
And what a great life!

Eating grass and poop.
Living in a dug out hole.
Yeah, I could do that.
Haiku # 60919, November 12, 2018 7:29 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Standard Poodle dog
Manicured nails. French perfume
Still got smelly ass
Haiku # 60918, November 12, 2018 5:56 pm ET
by Master of Pet Salon
Bears up on the roof!
Shazam! Shazam! Wankwankwank!!
Under arm fart sound
Haiku # 60917, November 12, 2018 5:53 pm ET
by Goofus
The smell of your yawn
Is of Werther's and dead fish
Stop eating out Gran
Haiku # 60916, November 12, 2018 2:35 pm ET
by Commas are funny
'Twas a perfect storm
Mark Wahlberg jizzed off the deck
Battened the hatches
Haiku # 60915, November 12, 2018 2:32 pm ET
by Mother Goose of Storytime
Beezlebop bop bop
Ram a lam a ding dong goo
YABBA DABBA DOO!!
Haiku # 60914, November 12, 2018 2:29 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Buddha ran away
I noticed for the first time
Buddah's big red ass
Haiku # 60913, November 12, 2018 2:27 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
They were up Shit's Creek
Fishing for compliments
Hey, Awesome Haiku!
Haiku # 60912, November 12, 2018 2:25 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
What were those men like,
the fishermen in the storm?
Likely not poets!
Haiku # 60911, November 12, 2018 7:39 am ET
by df
As the baby cries
I think of Buddhist wisdom.
Buddha ran away.
Haiku # 60910, November 12, 2018 7:35 am ET
by df
Yawn and open wide.
My poop flies into your mouth.
You want flies with that?
Haiku # 60909, November 12, 2018 7:30 am ET
by df
Your poop is boring.
Your haiku is boring too.
Got me yawning now.
Haiku # 60908, November 12, 2018 5:49 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Go watch Doodie Man.
I think it's up your alley.
Somersaults and poop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOqn2Ms61Y8
Haiku # 60907, November 12, 2018 2:03 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Go watch Doodie Man.
I think it's up your alley.
Somersaults and poop.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOqn2Ms61Y8
Haiku # 60906, November 12, 2018 2:02 am ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Kangaroo Penis
Australian delicacy
Serve in hot dog bun
Haiku # 60905, November 12, 2018 12:07 am ET
by Mr. Tube Steak
Kidnapped by perverts
Hell of a situation
Send help, please...and lube
Haiku # 60904, November 11, 2018 8:51 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
A clear view of you
Cartwheelcartwheelcartwheel fart
Shit my pants again
Haiku # 60903, November 11, 2018 8:48 pm ET
by Craprobatic of Cartwheeling to the latrine (might as well)
Where are the poets?
They're kidnapped by aliens!
Anal probes commence!
Haiku # 60902, November 11, 2018 8:32 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
A gay kangaroo
can bound across a flat stretch
of ground with each jump

carrying the roo
11 m from the
jump point. Fabulous!

If the kangaroo
leaves the ground at a 18
degree angle, what

is its takeoff speed?
What's its horizontal speed?
How gay is the roo?
Haiku # 60901, November 11, 2018 10:25 am ET
by Darth Figpucker of Fabulous Physics!
a hundred years on
and the war to end all wars
still wasn't the one
Haiku # 60900, November 11, 2018 4:34 am ET
by ash
Mall pet store monkey
Pleasing organ melodies
Haiku # 60899, November 10, 2018 11:23 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I wouldn
Haiku # 60898, November 10, 2018 11:19 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
I's go meet him thar.
Mofo better have money.
Else I rob his kicks!
Haiku # 60897, November 10, 2018 7:58 pm ET
by df
John-boy's holy mole
Judges your vile unbelief.
Walton mountain rules.
Haiku # 60896, November 10, 2018 7:56 pm ET
by Anonymous Poet
Just saw God drive by
Headed to the keg party
Should I confront him?
Haiku # 60895, November 10, 2018 7:15 pm ET
by John Boy Walton of Cheek
We a go dub it
And then we a go rock it.
Fock dem Babylon!
Haiku # 60894, November 10, 2018 6:04 pm ET
by Babylonian Unbelief
Watch what you're saying!
God came to me in a dream.
He stole my half ounce.

Some damn good hydro!
So if anyone sees God,
let me know asap.
Haiku # 60893, November 10, 2018 4:09 pm ET
by df
God is a sad joke
Played upon stupid people
They just don't get it
Haiku # 60892, November 10, 2018 11:33 am ET
by Anonymous Poet
Twice in the past week
Opened up my door. Surprise
Pair of nude mormons
Haiku # 60891, November 10, 2018 7:29 am ET
by Elder sphincter and elder barry
Please let me pull it
I am not a nurse but, hey
I am a big guy
Haiku # 60890, November 10, 2018 7:25 am ET
by Nurse
Nude acrobatics.
X-Hamster X-men powers.
Genital lawn darts.

A blindfold mounting
from thirty feet up in the air.
All nine inches in.

Brazilian fart girls
blow down card house from ten feet.
A clean hurricane!

They don't shit themselves.
You should learn sphincter control.
You'd save on laundry.
Haiku # 60889, November 10, 2018 3:04 am ET
by df
Grandpa
Haiku # 60888, November 10, 2018 2:11 am ET
by Really
Grandad
Haiku # 60887, November 10, 2018 2:03 am ET
by Sexy
It was a close shave
You have never seen my cat
With a growth of beard
Haiku # 60886, November 10, 2018 2:01 am ET
by Unrecognizable of Barber
Grandad
Haiku # 60885, November 10, 2018 1:58 am ET
by Sexy Bitch Grandma of Commode
Grandad
Haiku # 60884, November 10, 2018 1:58 am ET
by Sexy Bitch Grandma of Commode
Back flip Back flip fart
Back flip Back flip fart skid mark
Back flip shit my pants
Haiku # 60883, November 10, 2018 1:53 am ET
by Perfect 10
JimBob Walton
Haiku # 60882, November 10, 2018 12:07 am ET
by John Boy Walton of Walton
JimBob Walton
Haiku # 60881, November 10, 2018 12:06 am ET
by John Boy Walton of Walton
No one thinks like that.
At least I don't think they do.
Likely a good thing.
Haiku # 60880, November 9, 2018 11:46 pm ET
by df
I think your work is
a lot like Leonard Cohens
novel attemps but...
Haiku # 60879, November 9, 2018 8:23 pm ET
by vhs of in an orange t-shirt
I don't think like this
just my hardware is just needing
replacement here
Haiku # 60878, November 9, 2018 6:46 pm ET
by vhs of insert joke here
It's not time for God.
God exists outside of time.
It time to party!
Haiku # 60877, November 9, 2018 6:41 pm ET
by DARTH FIGPUCKER
Shamone!
Haiku # 60876, November 9, 2018 5:43 pm ET
by Michael Jackson
Lernu Esperanton
Peti Cunnilingus
Cie en la mondo
Haiku # 60875, November 9, 2018 5:42 pm ET
by Speaking in Tongues
'Cause it's been a while
I just tackled the mailman
Dry humped his left leg
Haiku # 60874, November 9, 2018 5:37 pm ET
by Guess who of Front yard
Now it's time for GOD.
Fuck your putrefying souls.
Now it's time for GOD.
Haiku # 60873, November 9, 2018 2:24 pm ET
by Pedophiles Rule the World of Dead Souls and Global Media
Esperanto this:
shematoma y tomo.
Je dois tomar plus.
Haiku # 60872, November 9, 2018 2:19 pm ET
by Alcohol of Revelation
He hematoma
She go hematoma tu
Y yo si tomo
Haiku # 60871, November 9, 2018 9:17 am ET
by Theymatoma of Pronoun
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