BAD HAIKU - Horrible poetry for the digital age
24 Years
64 Days
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69641 Haikus
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Bad haiku is bad
Very, very bad like Trump
Everyone agrees
Haiku #60951
, by Kent Dorfman of On Double Secret Probation
November 14, 2018 4:38 am ET
Concise poetry.
Perceived as being profound.
You give it meaning.
Haiku #60950
, by the hair of the dog
November 14, 2018 4:33 am ET
Cryzosza mi fucq
Cognoscenti ni senza
Fazool na prexii
Haiku #60949
, by Cegno
November 14, 2018 12:37 am ET
Do vegetables poop?
I've never had a garden
Do they poop out soil?
Haiku #60948
, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 10:52 pm ET
All poetry smells
Curried turds and curdled words
Greasy gopher farts
Haiku #60947
, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 8:21 pm ET
Cracking pygmies open
Like Harry and David nuts
Get at the sweet meat
Haiku #60946
, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 8:15 pm ET
Reamed garden gnome ass
Napoleon's slippery dick
Caught them in the act!
That upset stomach
Swallowed too much plastic cum
Met his Waterglue
Haiku #60945
, by Historian
November 13, 2018 8:14 pm ET
Dead poets smell bad.
And their poetry smells worse.
Ask Robin Williams.
Haiku #60944
, by df
November 13, 2018 7:26 pm ET
Wet thumb to the wind
Disgruntled seabirds. Bent mast.
Who spiked the brownies?
Haiku #60943
, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 5:36 pm ET
Gnomes, little people,
dwarves, midgets, runts, and pigmies.
Napoleon's kids.
For an emperor,
he was one whorin' mofo.
Sidious, take note!
Haiku #60942
, by df
November 13, 2018 5:30 pm ET
Do not eat pussy.
You must devour that shit!
Make her feel consumed.
Haiku #60941
, by df
November 13, 2018 5:24 pm ET
Poops of tomorrow.
Funkin' hairy hos. Pubic floss.
Preened from Allah's beard.
Haiku #60940
, by df
November 13, 2018 5:23 pm ET
How would you describe
Garden gnomes' ejaculate?
Smelly superglue
Haiku #60939
, by Person of In the know
November 13, 2018 4:35 pm ET
Soups of Yesteryear
Shrunken cheerios. Pussy hairs.
Gleaned from Ahab's beard
Haiku #60938
, by Little Shaver
November 13, 2018 4:30 pm ET
Ocean brine freezes.
It clings to the old man's beard.
A familiar friend.
Haiku #60937
, by the hair of the dog
November 13, 2018 4:15 pm ET
Grunting in the rain
Wiping with the biggest leaves
Damp. dank. A delight
Haiku #60936
, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 2:52 pm ET
No one ever sees
So I have set up brocadcast
Next bowel movement
Haiku #60935
, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 2:49 pm ET
When I see name Darth
I know what it will smell like.
I don't bother read
Haiku #60934
, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 7:57 am ET
I knew a queer kid.
He held a branch to his groin
and petted a tree.
He liked to be punched.
And always piss off bullies.
Jizzed his pants when beat.
He didn't live long.
Got killed by a homeless dude.
The best thing for him.
I laughed when I heard.
I know that sounds really bad.
But you just don't know.
Haiku #60933
, by df
November 13, 2018 7:49 am ET
When midgets dress up
and look just like garden gnomes
with crotchless panties.
Haiku #60932
, by df
November 13, 2018 7:40 am ET
The doc was surprised.
I had Dutch Elm in my ass.
How did that happen?!
Haiku #60931
, by df
November 13, 2018 7:38 am ET
Listen, Elm tree here
I talk all day and all night
I tell dirty jokes
Don
Haiku #60930
, by Elm tree
November 13, 2018 4:01 am ET
Trees know how to speak.
They talk about the weather.
So no one listens.
Haiku #60929
, by the hair of the dog
November 13, 2018 3:47 am ET
You smoking spider plants again
Haiku #60928
, by Anonymous Poet
November 13, 2018 1:31 am ET
You
Haiku #60927
, by Small questions
November 13, 2018 1:30 am ET
Which do you prefer
The real deal or garden gnomes?
Little Superstar!
Haiku #60926
, by He
November 13, 2018 1:27 am ET
Dwarves always do that.
Snow White's honeymoon was strange.
Well, back then it was.
Nowadays not so.
Post-wedding midget orgies.
Commonplace these days.
Haiku #60925
, by df
November 13, 2018 1:14 am ET
It's not that simple
I have kept the bugs away
With a magic spell
It's temporary
I adjusted your fart smell
This keeps them at bay
Unfortunately
You now attract horny dwarves
They'll climb up your schlong!!
Haiku #60924
, by You know who
November 12, 2018 10:07 pm ET
This is crazy but
since my brain bleeding it seems
mosquitoes won't bite.
Like maybe my blood
is clotting more than normal
and they don't want it.
I know, it's bizarre.
But I swear to you it's true.
And I hate them more.
Their death brings me joy.
If only they were sentient.
I could hear their screams.
Haiku #60923
, by df
November 12, 2018 9:41 pm ET
Penes paninis.
Dolphin cock on toasted rye.
Why? Because we can.
Haiku #60922
, by df. The life goal of of all Asians is to eat at least once every animal on this planet.
November 12, 2018 9:27 pm ET
Human Tortoise Man
Live in your own dugout ass
It's one stop shopping
And might I add here
As I finished my Haiku
My dog cut a fart
He was climbing up
To sit with me on the chair
That's when he let wind
Haiku #60921
, by Me of Keeping you in the loop
November 12, 2018 7:53 pm ET
Super volcano.
Yellowstone apocalypse.
God I love YouTube!
Haiku #60920
, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 12, 2018 7:33 pm ET
The ass smell of dog
is indeed the dog's perfume.
Channel #5.
Tortoises eat poop.
But I have no idea why.
Protein or microbes.
Maybe I'll try it.
Could be why they live so long.
And what a great life!
Eating grass and poop.
Living in a dug out hole.
Yeah, I could do that.
Haiku #60919
, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 12, 2018 7:29 pm ET
Standard Poodle dog
Manicured nails. French perfume
Still got smelly ass
Haiku #60918
, by Master of Pet Salon
November 12, 2018 5:56 pm ET
Bears up on the roof!
Shazam! Shazam! Wankwankwank!!
Under arm fart sound
Haiku #60917
, by Goofus
November 12, 2018 5:53 pm ET
The smell of your yawn
Is of Werther's and dead fish
Stop eating out Gran
Haiku #60916
, by Commas are funny
November 12, 2018 2:35 pm ET
'Twas a perfect storm
Mark Wahlberg jizzed off the deck
Battened the hatches
Haiku #60915
, by Mother Goose of Storytime
November 12, 2018 2:32 pm ET
Beezlebop bop bop
Ram a lam a ding dong goo
YABBA DABBA DOO!!
Haiku #60914
, by Anonymous Poet
November 12, 2018 2:29 pm ET
Buddha ran away
I noticed for the first time
Buddah's big red ass
Haiku #60913
, by Anonymous Poet
November 12, 2018 2:27 pm ET
They were up Shit's Creek
Fishing for compliments
Hey, Awesome Haiku!
Haiku #60912
, by Anonymous Poet
November 12, 2018 2:25 pm ET
What were those men like,
the fishermen in the storm?
Likely not poets!
Haiku #60911
, by df
November 12, 2018 7:39 am ET
As the baby cries
I think of Buddhist wisdom.
Buddha ran away.
Haiku #60910
, by df
November 12, 2018 7:35 am ET
Yawn and open wide.
My poop flies into your mouth.
You want flies with that?
Haiku #60909
, by df
November 12, 2018 7:30 am ET
Your poop is boring.
Your haiku is boring too.
Got me yawning now.
Haiku #60908
, by Anonymous Poet
November 12, 2018 5:49 am ET
Go watch Doodie Man.
I think it's up your alley.
Somersaults and poop.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOqn2Ms61Y8
Haiku #60907
, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 12, 2018 2:03 am ET
Go watch Doodie Man.
I think it's up your alley.
Somersaults and poop.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOqn2Ms61Y8
Haiku #60906
, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 12, 2018 2:02 am ET
Kangaroo Penis
Australian delicacy
Serve in hot dog bun
Haiku #60905
, by Mr. Tube Steak
November 12, 2018 12:07 am ET
Kidnapped by perverts
Hell of a situation
Send help, please...and lube
Haiku #60904
, by Anonymous Poet
November 11, 2018 8:51 pm ET
A clear view of you
Cartwheelcartwheelcartwheel fart
Shit my pants again
Haiku #60903
, by Craprobatic of Cartwheeling to the latrine (might as well)
November 11, 2018 8:48 pm ET
Where are the poets?
They're kidnapped by aliens!
Anal probes commence!
Haiku #60902
, by DARTH FIGPUCKER
November 11, 2018 8:32 pm ET
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