Politics - nothing
to do with being polite,
but a parasite.

Poly, Greek for many.
Ticks, blood sucking parasites.
Therefore politics.

Swoosh mush mush mush
Swoosh swoosh mush mush flush
Just wiping my tush

Tremendous, YUGE YUGE
TREMENDOUS TREMENDOUS YUGE
TREMENDOUS ASSHOLE

Wipe out deficit.
Trump raped hard on Pay-Per-View.
Bigly yuge profits.

You must admit it.
Who WOULDN'T pay to see THAT!
Well, besides Sanders.

You say Trump is bad.
He's sure got a purty mouth.
Orange Deliverance.

Debunking theories
Mosquitoes aren't attractive
Criminals walk free

Bad haiku is bad
Very, very bad like Trump
Everyone agrees

Concise poetry.
Perceived as being profound.
You give it meaning.

Cryzosza mi fucq
Cognoscenti ni senza
Fazool na prexii

Do vegetables poop?
I've never had a garden
Do they poop out soil?

All poetry smells
Curried turds and curdled words
Greasy gopher farts

Cracking pygmies open
Like Harry and David nuts
Get at the sweet meat

Reamed garden gnome ass
Napoleon's slippery dick
Caught them in the act!

That upset stomach
Swallowed too much plastic cum
Met his Waterglue

Dead poets smell bad.
And their poetry smells worse.
Ask Robin Williams.

Wet thumb to the wind
Disgruntled seabirds. Bent mast.
Who spiked the brownies?

Gnomes, little people,
dwarves, midgets, runts, and pigmies.
Napoleon's kids.

For an emperor,
he was one whorin' mofo.
Sidious, take note!

Do not eat pussy.
You must devour that shit!
Make her feel consumed.

Poops of tomorrow.
Funkin' hairy hos. Pubic floss.
Preened from Allah's beard.

How would you describe
Garden gnomes' ejaculate?
Smelly superglue

Soups of Yesteryear
Shrunken cheerios. Pussy hairs.
Gleaned from Ahab's beard

Ocean brine freezes.
It clings to the old man's beard.
A familiar friend.

Grunting in the rain
Wiping with the biggest leaves
Damp. dank. A delight

No one ever sees
So I have set up brocadcast
Next bowel movement

When I see name Darth
I know what it will smell like.
I don't bother read

I knew a queer kid.
He held a branch to his groin
and petted a tree.

He liked to be punched.
And always piss off bullies.
Jizzed his pants when beat.

He didn't live long.
Got killed by a homeless dude.
The best thing for him.

I laughed when I heard.
I know that sounds really bad.
But you just don't know.

When midgets dress up
and look just like garden gnomes
with crotchless panties.

The doc was surprised.
I had Dutch Elm in my ass.
How did that happen?!

Listen, Elm tree here
I talk all day and all night
I tell dirty jokes

Don

Trees know how to speak.
They talk about the weather.
So no one listens.

You smoking spider plants again

You

Which do you prefer
The real deal or garden gnomes?
Little Superstar!

Dwarves always do that.
Snow White's honeymoon was strange.
Well, back then it was.

Nowadays not so.
Post-wedding midget orgies.
Commonplace these days.

It's not that simple
I have kept the bugs away
With a magic spell

It's temporary
I adjusted your fart smell
This keeps them at bay

Unfortunately
You now attract horny dwarves
They'll climb up your schlong!!

This is crazy but
since my brain bleeding it seems
mosquitoes won't bite.

Like maybe my blood
is clotting more than normal
and they don't want it.

I know, it's bizarre.
But I swear to you it's true.
And I hate them more.

Their death brings me joy.
If only they were sentient.
I could hear their screams.

Penes paninis.
Dolphin cock on toasted rye.
Why? Because we can.

Human Tortoise Man
Live in your own dugout ass
It's one stop shopping

And might I add here
As I finished my Haiku
My dog cut a fart

He was climbing up
To sit with me on the chair
That's when he let wind

Super volcano.
Yellowstone apocalypse.
God I love YouTube!

The ass smell of dog
is indeed the dog's perfume.
Channel #5.

Tortoises eat poop.
But I have no idea why.
Protein or microbes.

Maybe I'll try it.
Could be why they live so long.
And what a great life!

Eating grass and poop.
Living in a dug out hole.
Yeah, I could do that.

Standard Poodle dog
Manicured nails. French perfume
Still got smelly ass

Bears up on the roof!
Shazam! Shazam! Wankwankwank!!
Under arm fart sound

The smell of your yawn
Is of Werther's and dead fish
Stop eating out Gran

'Twas a perfect storm
Mark Wahlberg jizzed off the deck
Battened the hatches

Beezlebop bop bop
Ram a lam a ding dong goo
YABBA DABBA DOO!!

Buddha ran away
I noticed for the first time
Buddah's big red ass

They were up Shit's Creek
Fishing for compliments
Hey, Awesome Haiku!

What were those men like,
the fishermen in the storm?
Likely not poets!

As the baby cries
I think of Buddhist wisdom.
Buddha ran away.

Yawn and open wide.
My poop flies into your mouth.
You want flies with that?

Your poop is boring.
Your haiku is boring too.
Got me yawning now.